Friday, March 27, 2009

Top 10 Pool Results

Michael Sarver went home tenth; the Weetapidol Hive Mind predicted a ninth-place finish for him, so we were pretty close! People who got it exactly right this week were Martha, Kim, Shmuel, and our new pool leader, Wendi! In fact we were all pretty close except Kelly S., who predicted that he would end up in third place... sorry, Kelly! You fall out of the top spot this week into ninth place... quite a shakeup.

We also have a new person joining the pool this week! Julie's starting picks were: 1. Adam; 2. Allyson; 3. Danny; 4. Lil; 5. Anoop; 6. Kris; 7. Scott; 8. Michael; 9. Matt; and 10. Meghan, which gives her 11 points to kick off her scores. Overall rankings are as follows:

47 points: Wendi
45 points: Mo Pie
44 points: Aine, Martha, Kim, Weetapidol Hive Mind
43 points: Eden, Shari H.
42 points: Kelly S.
40 points: TeKay, Gila, Jeremy
37 points: Shmuel
19 points: Weet
11 points: Julie

See you next week!

Top 10: Harold, Kumar, & A Man Named "Matt"

Pie: They are putting the contestants’ heads on a giant screen… Anoop looks terrified
Weetabix: Who is the guy with the giant mole on his forehead!?
it's like a bullseye
I've decided that
Pie: excellent decision
Weetabix: by the way, I'm not spoiled as to who went home tonight, are you?
Pie: no, I am not!
Weetabix: awesome, so it will be as though we are watching it yesterday!
Pie: yes! as if we have gone back in time!

Pie: THIS... is a-MERICANIDOL. Rroo rooo!
I find the Rroo rooo and the a-MERICANDOL very comforting.
Weetabix: I do as well! In the Ammmeeeerican national anthem, it should be played before the "Oh Say can you See?
Pie: they are doing the weird judge introductions
Simon looks excited about them and Paula is wearing a fucking tutu, I love her!
Weetabix: Oh shit, I missed the tutu… oh she really is
I would like to tell our readers that you have a pug perched on your shoulder like a parrot.
Weetabix: it is true
Pie: that tutu is fantastic. I want to buy it and wear it.
Weetabix: Alexis really did look like Dolly Parton
Pie: so tonight is Motown night
Weetabix: hence the Barry Gordy
Pie: or as I prefer to call it, MO-town.
Weetabix: as so it should be
Pie: okay, I don't actually call it that.
Weetabix: ah, teal is a good color for Randy
Pie: stripes are not
Weetabix: much better than the coat of many colors that he normally wears
Pie: I love Paula's necklace. she looks so normal from the waist up! and then down below is the tulle explosion. LOVE HER.
Weetabix: and Paula just tried hitting on Ryan, in a lame attempt at confirming his heterosexuality
she's got something hanging out of her dress, I want to point out
Pie: yeah, considering he flirts with Simon 100x more, it's not really working
Weetabix: well, if I had the choice of that dias, I would flirt with Simon too. The nipples defy you to not flirt with them.
Pie: Hee! I love Paula's dress. I want to go back in time and wear that at my wedding. What could people say? NOTHING. I AM THE BRIDE.
Weetabix: Nor would we have.
Pie: who the hell is that scruffy guy in the tie? is he one of the Interchangeable White Guys?
Weetabix: yes, Cap'n Random Whitey

Weetabix: I'm grooving on the B-roll song here
Pie: now we have the history of Motown! or as we like to call it, filler.
or I guess a musical history education for the youngn's.
Weetabix: all they have to say is "The soundtrack for Dirty Dancing" and everyone would go "ooooohhhhhh"
Pie: well everyone in our generation would.
man, fucking great soundtrack, though… as was Part 2 of that soundtrack
Weetabix: it really was. Also, somewhat an enjoyable movie, if only for the .005 seconds of Patrick Swazye's penis
Pie: now I want someone to get confused and sing "She's Like the Wind"
Weetabix: ha! that would make my year
Pie: one of the Disposable White Guys should do it
Weetabix: by the way, that was the song for my Junior Girl's dance, which was our version of "Sadie Hawkins", only it was just for the junior year
Pie: very cute… did you have to tell boys they were like the wind through your tree?
Weetabix: I seem to remember there was a kerfluffle, it was supposed to be something that didn't suck, and then at the last minute, one popular girl decided that she didn't like whatever song and told the DJ it was something different. It was a scandal, actually.
Pie: wait, did you just say "She's Like The Wind" SUCKED?
I don't know you.
Weetabix: I actually didn't like the song back then. I was very alternative and would have preferred something by the Cure. Now I have changed my opinion and enjoy She's Like The Wind"
Pie: that’s a relief.
Lil Rounds is having a moment with Barry Gordy... I like that he means something to her. so often I get this idea that the kids don't know who the mentors are. Like when they had Lulu.
Weetabix: Trivia: Barry Gordy is the father of one of Diana Ross' children
Pie: oooh! I did not know that!
my sister used to babysit for Diana Ross's kids
Weetabix: it wasn't discovered until very late in her life. Barry was married during her birth, Diana was very young
Pie: ooooh. quelle old-timey scandale!

“Let’s Get It On”

Pie: “Matt.” who is "Matt"? oh, scruffy guy!
Weetabix: Bullseye!!!
Pie: "Let's Get It On"… oh, of fucking course!
Weetabix: Remember that guy Matt that one time who always looked like a young version of Chef Paul Prudhomme?
Pie: no?
Weetabix: "that one time" = a previous season
Pie: I got that part!
Weetabix: Taylor's season, maybe?
Pie: oh here he goes! okay, White Guy! go!
I like that he can play the piano and has diamonds on his shirt
Weetabix: I think I'm going to have to evict the pug-parrot off my shoulder. She's so hot, I'm getting a little sweaty.
Pie: hey, he's not bad! where's he been?
Weetabix: I like his falsetto
Pie: and he is fondling the microphone and now getting up. I enjoy this!
Weetabix: And the Idolettes are back!
Pie: showmanship!
Weetabix: Agreed. This is the first time I haven't wanted to hate him
also, he's got a definite penis bulge
Pie: this is the first time I think I might actually remember him in five minutes
Weetabix: seriously, do you see that?
(It should be noted that Pie was dancing in her chair)
Pie: Paula does!
Weetabix: She's smiling like "Yeah, Imma gonna tap that"
Pie: yeah, I'm seeing it! I like his little outfit. and his little rendition.
Weetabix: Agreed. That was fanciful and nice!
Pie: I don't know if I'd go as far as "tapping" anything. but yes! "fanciful and nice"!

Pie: why is Randy wearing a Girl Scout friendship bead necklace?
Weetabix: I like Ione Skye's hair tonight
Pie: Kara wants to tap that
Weetabix: oh hell yeah she does, even though her shirt looks like a kindergarten teacher's art smock.
Pie: now Kara is going to say her useless crap
her "look at me! I am a judge!"
Weetabix: I think I need some wine
at the commercial break, I'm going for wine
Pie: YES! I need some MORE WINE. I am going to get MORE WINE.
Weetabix: you keep tipping your glass and it makes me want wine… power of suggestion!
Pie: Paula said something INSIGHTFUL. she said he respected the melody and didn't get all crazy.
Weetabix: who was smiling girl in the audience?
Pie: his relation of some type?
Weetabix: Simon likes it!
Pie: Simon liked this song too and has extra-flat hair.
Weetabix: Weird, Simon called him a front runner!
Pie: he is a front-runner! well okay then!
Weetabix: I don't know that I would have gone that far there.
fanciful and nice!!
Pie: I will try very hard to remember his name… “Matt.”
Weetabix: Matt! Aka Bullseye
Pie: not holding up a finger
Weetabix: and for that he earns my respect
Pie: boy I sure hope he isn't already eliminated
Weetabix: WINE BREAK!!!!
Weetabix: What is your wine?
Pie: I am drinking Viogner from the five-cent sale at BevMo
Weetabix: lovely!
Pie: what are you drinking?
Weetabix: I'm drinking a Pacific Rim Sweet Reisling 2007, which I found in my wine cooler and don't remember buying
Pie: sounds tasty!
Weetabix: it's adequate… and hopefully will pair well with this chunk of red velvet cake
Pie: mmm, speaking of my wedding. red velvet cake. yum
Weetabix: mmmm
that was seriously the best red velvet cake ever

“How Sweet It Is”
Pie: it's Castrochuleta!
Weetabix: wow, Smokey Robinson has amazing eyes
Pie: wow, he really does have amazing eyes

Pie: Kris is wearing a military shirt and making dumb faces that teenage girls who are into Twilight might enjoy
Weetabix: so, Maybe this is my inherent dislike of Jason Mraz, but he hadn't even sung more than four words and I was all "eeuw"
Pie: hee. Jason Mraz! he's got the poison, Kris Allen's got the remedy, baby.
Weetabix: this is the song of dentist offices
Pie: this is perfectly pleasant. I want someone to sing one of these songs in cracked-out fashion.
Weetabix: but I see you're enjoying this greatly
Pie: I am enjoying this because I've had wine. THIS is forgettable. "Matt."
Weetabix: are they both named Matt? Castrochuleta and Bullseye?
no, he's Kris! don't play me, Mopie
Pie: I was saying "Matt" because I was showing off my remembering. I remember "Matt"
Weetabix: heee!

Pie: they put KRIS' FRIENDS on the screen… that is the wrong possessive
it should say “KRIS'S”
Weetabix: ah yes, grammatical error again. Is it making your teeth itch, that they keep repeating it?
Pie: the only names that do not take the 'S are JESUS and MOSES
isn't that why people read this blog? for the grammar?
Weetabix: yes, that's the only reason

Pie: Ione says: "you didn't do Marvin Gaye, you didn't go James Taylor, you did Kris! you did sucky inferior boring version!"
oh no wait, she thinks he did everything right
Weetabix: Paula's wig has lovely highlights tonight
Pie: hee.
Simon liked it, Paula liked it, yaaaawn.
Weetabix: I agree with Simon, to be a star you DO have to be a little conceited
Pie: that's true, DAUGHTRY has DAUGHTRY tattooed giantly across his back. and is conceited.
Carrie Undewood apparently is a mega stuck up beyotch now, but she's got some stage presence that she never even sniffed at when she was on the show
Weetabix: maybe she got a stylist or something? or the equivalent of the Michael Caine role in "Miss Congeniality"?
which is, by the way, a delightful and very fluffy movie.
Pie: I was just looking up to see if Daughtry had left his wife yet. he has not! that means I respect him.
Weetabix: I'm surprised!
Pie: me too! she was not "Hollywood pretty"… I kept thinking he would get famous and leave her.
Weetabix: before you respect him, might I remind you that he had DAUGHTRY tattooed on his back
Pie: hee. well there's that.

Pie: ooh this is kind of exciting
we have to pay attention to when it starts again since we are letting the commercials play
right now is a car commercial
we just had some local news
Weetabix: I've got a local news one
now a Sprint commercial
Pie: this car ad is saying "California"a lot
the limited edition California Jetta.
now a pirate ship ad.
Weetabix: you have better ads
Pie: hee. we have different ads!
this is "buy a Volkswagen limited-editon California pirate ship."
Weetabix: Ok, so now we have a commercial for a local clinic (mine, by the way) which features Ted, the brother-in-law from "Big Love"
Pie: ooh. mine is a woman critiquing her kid's clothing choices on a little video screen
Weetabix: every time he talks to me, I think "Why would I trust you? You screwed over your polygamous brother-in-law!"
Pie: now Death is wandering through a parking garage
no spoilers! I am half a season behind!
Weetabix: oh, I'm sorry
it's not that big of a spoiler, though
Pie: it's okay, we will just not say more!
Weetabix: ok
Pie: now Death is wandering through a parking garage
Weetabix: Papa Murphy's
Pie: now another car commercial. Toyota.
wow, these are long fucking commercials.

“You Can’t Hurry Love”

Weetabix: blind guy! Ben from Big Love!
Pie: oh yeah! I can see that!
Weetabix: it all comes back to Big Love
and he gets a Ryan Raps!
Pie: he is wearing pink pants. are the costumers fucking with him?
Weetabix: I don't like the paisley shirt with brown striped jacket
Pie: "let's put the blind guy in pink pants! hahaha!"
Weetabix: "Nooo, you look AWESOME Scott!"
Pie: what is the song?
Weetabix: You Can't Hurry Love, which might just be awesome
Pie: excellent
Weetabix: oh Scott, you won't be single for long
Pie: maybe he needs to wear jeans though.
Weetabix: wow, seriously, I'm mesmerized by Smokey's eyes
Pie: they are amazing
Weetabix: I think love is blind, Mo, even to pink pants
Pie: touche!
Weetabix: the Idolettes are standing by his piano like torchsong singers… I love that
Pie: this is pretty! again, I enjoy Scott!
Weetabix: and I'm very happy that middle Idolette has gotten a better bra finally!
it's only taken her three seasons
Pie: now fast! I am snapping!
Weetabix: this is enjoyable!
Pie: this is very good... I enjoy this. why do people not like Scott as much as they like "Matt" and that other dude?
Weetabix: Oooh, the Idolettes have amazing shoes
I don't know. Maybe it's because he's handicapable and they don't want to have sex with him?
I would like to have the sex.
Pie: I like how Paula is backpedaling on the "stand up" thing with "well you had people STAND NEAR YOU so that was good!"
Weetabix: Wait, Paula is saying that having the singers standing by him, it....what?
She didn't compliment his singing, but rather having the singers stand by him?
Pie: I think it was her way of saying she was wrong about "don't sit at the piano"
Simon did not like it!
Weetabix: I agree with Simon that he's choosing the wrong song
Pie: that other dude is agreeing with Simon. "Randy"
Weetabix: heh, Randy said "nob"
Pie: I suddenly feel that Randy is sexually attractive… help me
Weetabix: he's wearing a camp friendship necklace, Pie
Pie: yes. but he has sexy lips.
Weetabix: Ione Skye should wear sunscreen, as she's prematurely aging from all that tanning
seriously, she's trying SO hard and it's just painful
Pie: I know. I wonder how other people feel about her… maybe people will comment.
Weetabix: poor Scott… is that Alexis in the audience?
Pie: is it? I didn't see!
Weetabix: there's a very tatted blonde girl wearing a teal prom dress… is teal back in?
Pie: Paula said "I have something for Simon" and then went under the desk. Paula, you might want to think about that. this is family television.
Weetabix: Ryan said "crowns" instead of "cray-ons"
Pie: he sure did. it is NOT PRONOUNCED "crowns"
Weetabix: oooh, Ryan called out the pink!
Pie: Scott is apologizing for the pink pants! that is charming.
Weetabix: it's adorable!
Pie: "they didn't tell me!"

"Once In My Life"

Weetabix: Oh my god, this girl… I hate her voice
Pie: I think her voice is cracked out and weird. it is not "refreshing," Smokey Robinson.
Weetabix: "you are so different"! "you are on crack!"
Pie: she is "original"
Weetabix: I hate her whole "Huh, I guess I'm unique" comment
oh, that was the girl I thought was Alexis
she was inexplicably in the audience earlier

Pie: she looks so awkward… what is she doing with her body?
Weetabix: I don't get her
Pie: what is she doing with her arm?
Weetabix: I like different but I don't get her
Pie: Fantasia was different, but I loved Fantasia… I do not like Megan
Weetabix: I have to say, I really like the look
Pie: she looks AWESOME
Weetabix: she doesn't have a good stage presence
she looks very uncomfortable
Pie: and yet she... yes, looks so uncomfortable
Weetabix: I'm stunned that she got into the top... whatever we are at right now
"neeeeds meeeeeeeeuhg" It's painful
Pie: love the hair, the necklace, the dress, the shoes.
and yet she looks like she's about to burst into awkward tears.
Weetabix: her "meeeeeeughghg" is making me want to punch someone
Pie: wait, is she wearing shoes?
Weetabix: she's wearing flats… that are nude colored… it's strange
Pie: "trainwreck"! thank you, Randy.
Weetabix: Randy called it a trainwreck
that's an apt description
Pie: that was so horrible.
and incidentally I am jealous of your cake.
Weetabix: it's mediocre, if that helps appease your jealousy
I should have gone with my instinct and made cupcakes, but I got lazy in the final steps
Pie: Kara talks a lot. she says many words.
Weetabix: and the words don't actually say anything
Pie: Simon hates Megan

“Hey Baby Baby”

Weetabix: I don't think I've ever heard this song.
Pie: Is this a Smokey Robinson song?
Weetabix: Oh I love this song! Anoop might rock this.
Pie: Smokey seems to love him.
Weetabix: Anoop was very Smokey-esque when he did the falsetto.
Pie: He is sitting on the stairs and looking earnest.
Weetabix: And mildly collegiate
Pie: It's that weird-ass jacket.
Weetabix: It's like Members Only, but there's shinyness.... yeah, I'd do him.
Pie: I would not go that far. The jacket bothers me too much.
Weetabix: If you lost the jacket, though, he's all Harold and Kumar there. That's what it all comes down to. The guy who plays Kumar and is now on House. He's hot.
Pie: His name is Kal Penn.
Weetabix: Marry fuck or kill: Harold, Kumar, or Neil Patrick Harris.
Pie: That's tough! But NPH is gay and probably would not be into having sex. So... marry NPH... fuck Harold... kill Kumar.
Weetabix: Really? I'm stunned.
Pie: Harold's hot.
Weetabix: He's hot, I'm just saying. Kumar is where it's at.

Pie: Ione thinks it's the most beautiful song ever.
Weetabix: I wouldn't say it's the most beautiful song ever written, Ione Skye. I mean... AVE MARIA?
Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: Also, MMM BOP?!?
Pie: HAHAHA! I cannot convey in type how hard I am laughing at “Mmm Bop.” It is in fact an awesome song, too.
Weetabix: Is it just me, or is Paula's makeup taking on this Kabuki-esque thing?
Pie: I have paused to observe the makeup... it is just you.
Weetabix: I don't see your Randy attraction. I don't see it.
Pie: He has good lips.
Weetabix: I'm watching the lips. I just don't see it.
Pie: I'm just saying, it's a momentary beerwinegoggles effect.
Weetabix: So like the Castrochuleta thing.
Pie: Don't remind me of that.

“Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”

Pie: After the break is Matt Sarver. Is that different from “Matt”?
Weetabix: Yes, because his name is Mike.
Pie: Shit, I’ve lost it already. Now I’m taking off my bra.
Weetabix: I missed that about having you here. You’d take off your bra when you were drunk.
Pie: That does happen. Smokey Robinson does not look as though he enjoys this man.
Weetabix: Smokey Robinson feels America’s pain.
Pie: Smokey Robinson does not feel as though he did a good job. That’s the first one Smokey Robinson has criticized. Bad sign, kids.
Weetabix: Michael is from Texas. That’s all we need to know.
Pie: This guy bores me, really.
Weetabix: Yeah, I’m already bored.
Pie: I mean, the song is fine but it’s like…zzzzzzzz (bonk). Who’s that other guy, that other guy with the big shoulders? His name might have been Matt or something?
Weetabix: No, it was this guy.
Pie: No, a few seasons ago. He hosted the finale. He looked kind of like this guy? Matt something?
Weetabix: Matt Rogers. That’s the guy I was talking about who looked like Chef Paul Prudhomme.
Pie: So this guy, who is not Matt, who looks like Matt, but is not the Matt who was on earlier in the show.
Weetabix: I can’t type all that because it was like Who’s on First.
Pie: That’s exactly why you SHOULD type it.

Pie: Paula didn’t like it. Paula’s wearing sparkly things.
Weetabix: She said she needs to be dominated. Oh! Today, I was taking a nap and was thinking in those few minutes between awake and asleep and realized that my perfect new career would be to become a dominatrix.
Pie: You would be perfect at that. Yes, you should be a dominatrix.
Weetabix: You wouldn’t have to have sex or anything.
Pie: He does have pretty eyes, this mister somebody. Mike says he gave 110 percent? Then we already know that it’s not enough and you should go. I’m predicting him to go.
Weetabix: There are other people yet to come.
Pie: I don’t think it’s as bad as these judges are saying, actually. I mean, it was boring, but it wasn’t terrible.
Weetabix: Megan Joy was horrible.
Pie: That’s true. Megan Joy should go… but I don’t think she will go because this guy’s a white guy and there’s lots of white guys, but Megan is a pretty blonde girl and they just booted off a pretty blonde girl.
Weetabix: the demographic theory.
Pie: Ione Skye has pretty eyes. I think the judges like Mike as a person. They seem to be smiling and feeling warmly toward him. That’s nice, that they honestly like him.


Weetabix: oh, Lil seems so excited!
Pie: she sure does!
Weetabix: and she's wearing awesome shoes in the Smokey bit
Pie: I like her haircut too
Weetabix: it's very cute!
Pie: she is talking about the black experience in Motown with Smokey Robinson.. that's so cool.
oh my god and it made Smokey Robinson feel like he's left a legacy.
Weetabix: aw, she was crying!
Pie: I am all choked up!
Weetabix: that's so awesome!
Pie: she's doing it for Aretha and Diana Ross!
Weetabix: oooh, look at her awesome look!
Pie: she is wearing a BUSTED wig. where is her cute short hair?
Weetabix: totally Dreamgirls! she was trying to imbue the whole Motown vibe
Pie: she is so Top 3
Weetabix: oh definitely
Pie: I mean my demographic theory might be BS, but she's so different from the endless Parade of White Guy we've had so far
Weetabix: yes, she stands out, whereas we can't keep Bullseye apart from Michael from Castrochuleta
Pie: exactly! one of those is "Matt" but WHICH ONE?
I don't count Blind Guy in the pack because while he's white, he doesn't KNOW he's white
Pie: ha!
Weetabix: sorry, that was the wine talking
Pie: I totes LOL'd.
Weetabix: I watched! LOL confirmed
Pie: I am stlll LOLing… it's like how he dosn't know his pants are pink
Weetabix: should Randy be calling the contestants "baby"
Pie: Randy always does... baby or dawg
Weetabix: it seems overly intimate all of the sudden
ah. I hadn't noticed. It was the wines.
Pie: her wig. is. BUS. TED.
Weetabix: yeah, her wig was dug out of the attic or something.
Pie: the dress is cool
Weetabix: I do enjoy the hombre fringe
Pie: I didn't think it was amazingly good but I thought it was solid. whatever, Ione.
oh, Ione is STILL TALKING.
because she i always talking talking talking.
Weetabix: No, I can follow Ione's train of thought vis a vis the song choice. I would have thought Lil would have gone Diana Ross
Pie: I agree with Paula's sparkly round ring.
Weetabix: you just want to steal her tutu
Pie: and her ring.
if someone on Etsy can make me that tutu, I will pay them five hundred dollars.
Weetabix: Simon agrees with me!
Pie: I do agree that she did not have a Moment, but could have had one.
Weetabix: go on Etsy whateveritscalled, where you ask for a bid on a tutu
make sure that you ask for one that is not tied, but rather sewn
the tied ones are awful, the sewn ones are beautiful
I made and wore a tutu in high school. They aren't hard to make
Pie: I will wear it everywhere.
Weetabix: if I make you one, will you pay me $5000?
Pie: I sadly do not have $5000 for a tutu.
Weetabix: one too many zeros… but I'll take $5000
or $500
or I'll be your dominatrix
Pie: niiiice.
Weetabix: see, it's a bargain when you do the math

“Tracks of My Tears”

Pie: ADAM LAMBERT, dressed like ELVIS, which I ENJOY
is this where we link to the Wicked video where Adam did an awesome Fiyero?
Weetabix: indeed
Pie: my favorite part is "only because dust is what we come to" and I enjoyed his interpretation.

Weetabix: The Dunkelman has become a square
oooh, Adam's not wearing socks! I really do love Adam
Pie: Adam makes me feel alive, sexually
Weetabix: and I love this song!
Pie: what song? I missed it!
Weetabix: Tracks of my tears
Pie: oooOoooooh… that is a Smokey Robinson song! as I believe Smokey is aware.
Weetabix: yes! that is what they've said!
Pie: Adam is all earnest about doing the song justice. I love you, Adam.
Weetabix: this is very lovely, but also, sort of like "more than words" with the guitar
Pie: glazed pompadour, eh? okay.
Weetabix: I enjoy the man who is doing nothing other than playing the box he is sitting on
that might be a euphemism
Pie: I noticed him too! he's like, well, I will play this chair, then.
nice falsetto! he is versatile, this Adam
Weetabix: this is lovely, a total apology for last week’s Morrison ejaculation
Pie: now Ian has drunkenly collapsed on me
Weetabix: oh, that's not what it looks like he's doing
Pie: and lovely ending!
Weetabix: that was lovely
Pie: Smokey jut gave him a standing ovation… Kara too! wow.
Weetabix: yeah, but then Kara totally failed to commit by saying "one of the best performances... OF THE NIGHT"
Pie: Kara also claimed that was six words…. that was eight words, Kara.
I can remember “Matt” and also I can count.
Weetabix: well, way to totally not make any real statement
Pie: Simon is like fuck you, I'll say it!
Weetabix: five bucks that the kid with the scarf clapping like a drama queen is Adam's Lovah.
Pie: he is going to wiiiiiin
Weetabix: I really think he has the X Factor, quite honestly
he's got that thing that we all recognized in Chris Daughtry
Pie: yeah, I agree
Weetabix: like he's just unpredictable enough that you really don't know what he's going to do next, but you just know that he's going to deliver

"Get Ready"

Pie: oh man, having to follow Adam...
Weetabix: and be another white guy
who couldn't be arsed to shave for Smokey Robinson
Pie: we just laughed at Danny saying Smokey had "been in the industry longer than I have"
um, considering he's been a fucking LEGEND longer than you've been alive... yes.
Weetabix: ha! gee, ya think?
Pie: Ian says "F F F"… he does not like this
Weetabix: I'll bet that Danny wasn't even alive when ABC did "When Smokey Sings"
Pie: I like Danny, he reminds me of Ted from How I Met Your Mother
Weetabix: oh my god, he totally does!
he's Ted Mosby, Architect, only he's Ted Mosby, Wannabe Star
I'll bet he spends the same amount of time on his hair, too

Weetabix: I do like his shirt
Pie: well maybe Adam peaked too soon, and Danny is yet to peak still.
Weetabix: I don't think Danny has a peak in him
Pie: that's what she said!
Weetabix: I hope Adam didn't peak too soon, but you're right, there is a danger there
however, sometimes the trick is in being not fantastic but just mediocre enough not to be the worst
Pie: well I had the exact same worry with Cookie, and we all saw how that worked out
Weetabix: I'm officially wined up, as it's now hard to hold up my head
Pie: Ian was just asking why, if we’d all had wine, he was "the only one in a pile"… now you are in a pile!
Weetabix: yes, it is as though I have melted, like the Wicked witch

"Papa Was A Rolling Stone"

Weetabix: ALLISON
Pie: ALLISON IRAHETA, "Papa Was A Rolling Stone"
Pie: well we have certainly informed people about this song
Weetabix: we're adding value

Weetabix: Allison is so cute… I hope she does well. I forgot she existed.
Pie: me too! what is that, three girls in this whole thing? how sad.
Weetabix: wouldn't you pick a song you totally knew by heart?
Pie: she's got a great smoky Motown voice!
Weetabix: why pick a song that you would have a problem with, lyric wise?
I like her leggings/tights… that whole situation there
Pie: I am liking her a lot right now!
Weetabix: yes, she's doing very well and her ensemble is cute!
Pie: wooooo Allison!! Ian says "that was good"
Weetabix: that was, I have to say, very enjoyable
definitely the best performance from Allison that I've seen
Pie: I do not yet feel compelled to download anything from iTunes, but that came close.
Weetabix: also, she's so cute… and somehow, reminds me of Amy Sedaris. that might be the wine.
but there's something about her little Troll baby face that is totally Amy Sedaris
Pie: Kara just had an orgasm I think… TMI, Kara.
Weetabix: oh my god, Simon wrote on Paula's face! Hilarious!
Pie: hee. they flirt so much.
Weetabix: Sorry, that's the best thing I've ever seen on AI!
Pie: yay Allison! go Allison!
Weetabix: although the McBeaver was still pretty good
Pie: as was Ryan's foot fetish, and anything Daughtry ever did
Weetabix: that's true, the foot fetish is always enjoyable

Pie: there was “Matt”
Weetabix: Bullseye… who was pretty good… Castrochuleta
Pie: Castrochuleta who bored me
Weetabix: whose song I loathe
Pie: Scott who wore pink pants
Weetabix: Scott Blindey MacIntyre… Megan Joy who was so painfully horrible that I beg America to put her out of her misery
Weetabix: Anoop, who I enjoyed quite a bit
Pie: Kumar. America, vote in a Harold! I need a hot Asian guy.
Weetabix: I agree! We need a Harold! Some year we'll have a Harold. I have hope. Maybe Vince Chao will try for AI.
Pie: ONE CAN ONLY DREAM. I would vote until my fingers bled for Vince Chao.
Weetabix: oh hell's yes

Pie: Matt Rogers, who I think is my pick to get eliminated… Lil Rounds…
Weetabix: Adam, who was lovely as usual*
*Except for last week
Weetabix: Danny, whom you liked and I was "meh"
Weetabix: and Allison who was awesome
Pie: yes!
Pie: Ian is watching the recap. of Adam: "he was the only one who changed the arrangement at all. is everyone else too dumb?"
Weetabix: yes, Een, everyone else is too dumb
Pie: so should we look and see who left?
I am betting Matt Rogers, whose name is actually Michael Sarver, went home.
Weetabix: let's look! Who got laminated?!?!
Pie: okay! find out!
Weetabix: I'm looking
Pie: I am excited. this is instant gratification.
Weetabix: the bottom three was all white guys and Michael Sarver went home
Pie: I WIN!
Weetabix: wow, sucks to be a white guy in American Idol! and buhbye, Texas!
Pie: Weetapidol out!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Top 11 Pool Standings!

Alexis goes home... man, we sure did not expect that! In fact, the Weetapidol Hive Mind had her coming in fourth.

The person who ranked her the lowest, Kelly S., still ranked her ninth. But that was good enough to put Kelly on top for the week! Aine ranked her 8th and also jumped up in the rankings as a result. Wendi placed her 7th, which was enough to send her into second place.

As for the people who ranked her the highest: Jeremy had her winning the whole shebang, and Gila and Shmuel both placed her second, causing them to fall this week.

The current rankings are:

36 points: Kelly S.
34 points: Wendi
33 points: Aine, Mo Pie
32 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind, Eden
31 points: Martha, Shari, Kim
29 points: Jeremy, TeKay, Gila
24 points: Shmuel
8 points: Weetabix

Next week, the Weetapidol Hive Mind is predicting Megan Corkrey to be eliminated. Somehow I doubt it!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Top 11: Michael Buble, Castrochuleta, & Mo Pie's Hot Ex

Due to some technical difficulties, Mo Pie is watching the show on her TiVo and Weetabix is watching clips on, minus judges’ comments.

Michael Sarver
"Ain't Goin' Down ('Til the Sun Comes Up)"

Weetabix: I don't know how I feel about all of this harmonica
Pie: Is that Anoop playing harmonica?
Weetabix: Is it? That's Anoop?
Pie: I have no idea.
Weetabix: Go mildly talented harmonica player
Pie: Country is not my thing, dawg.
Weetabix: I like, maybe, four country songs
and this is most assuredly not one of them
Pie: He is making a weird face.
Weetabix: There's way too much reliance on poor grammar for my taste
"Ain't" is a trigger word, I think
Pie: I do not care for him or this performance.
Weetabix: Oh, he's basically just pulling out his cock and jizzing all over this performance
Pie: A classy assessment.
Weetabix: I cannot stay classy while this tripe is on my tv (or
Pie: Randy: "check it out baby check it out... it was a cool song choice but your performance basically sucked"
Weetabix: HA!
Pie: Kara says they enjoyed his personality. but they did not get to see his personality.
Weetabix: his personality is that he's "from Texas"
Pie: wow. Kara complimented him on MEMORIZING THE WORDS. how sad is that?
Weetabix: Isn't that in the rules? the memorization thing?
Pie: then she said "the sun came up"…Kara is useless.
Weetabix: Commercial break for Weetabix: I'm having Wheat Thins
Pie: Paula said it was his genre.
Simon said "it should have been good."
Weetabix: and yet... it wasn't?
Pie: "but I couldn't understand a single word, you might as well have been singing in Norwegian."
Weetabix: that was an accurate AND classy assessment
Pie: Simon called him clumsy and karaoke
he gave it 1.2 on a scale of 1 to 10
Weetabix: I think he's a little harsh, but I'd give it maybe a four
Pie now Michael Sarver is giving the "vote for me" finger.
Weetabix: and now a three, since he loses a point for doing the finger

Allison Iraheta
"Blame It On Your Heart"

Pie: Randy Travis is the mentor
he told her "don't be too cute"
Weetabix: what is her song?
Pie: this is something will tell you!
Weetabix: Blame It On Your Heart
Pie: I like her hair and jacket combo, and how they are the same color
Weetabix: that's an interesting choice
very Jem
Pie: truly outrageous!
Weetabix: truly truly
Pie: she is boring me
Weetabix: agreed… I was bored with her last week, even though I like her
Pie: people love her but she doesn't do it for me
Weetabix: People loved Amanda Overmeyer
Pie: she seems super awkward too… like this is almost good stage presence, but in fact is awkward
Weetabix: she's like 16 though. I give her a pass for that
Pie: okay, judges report!
Kara gets to talk first… she has a fabulous necklace, by the way
Weetabix: I'm sorry I'm missing that
Pie: "you could sing the alphabet and sing it well"
Kara is fixated on people knowing words and letters
Paula said it was solid and that she has a "rock edge" and she should start "experimenting"
Weetabix: Is Paula on 'ludes today? “experimenting” with mood suppressants?
Pie: Simon thought it was good, but tuneless, and looked like she had a hard time remembering the words
Weetabix: Simon is a good and just god
I don't know why people give him a bad time, quite honestly. He's rarely been wrong.
Pie: people don't give him a bad time except the audience, and they are obligated at this point to boo him
Randy thought it was "dope"
Allison looks cute but nervous

Kris Allen
“To Make You Feel My Love”

Weetabix: btw, did you watch Kelly on last week's result's show?
Pie: not yet!
Weetabix: she does NOT look like her album cover
Weetabix: it's a good performance, but she was better on Saturday Night Live
Pie: I still have to see that, too.

Pie: okay, Randy Travis is saying... that Kris is "a strong ballad singer"
he "made it his own" per Randy Travis
Weetabix: I'm somewhat biased against Kris Allen because I feel like he's another Jason Castro
Pie: this is the young lad I was strangely attracted to before he began to resemble David Archuleta
Weetabix: He DOES look like Archuleta
no, it's his stage presence that brings the Castro
at least, last week it did for me
Pie: I see that... he is the love child of Jason Castro and David Archuleta
Weetabix: oh my god… that is it
Pie: I don't know this song and thus am bored. and his last note was lacking something. perhaps “being in tune.”
Weetabix: yeah, the whole thing was weirdly unprovocative for me
I am nonplussed
Pie: Paula first... pleasantly surprised by his vulnerability.
she really said that! those are real words!
Weetabix: that's how he gets the chicks, though
Pie: now she's talking about the pitchyness of his low notes. Paula = making sense!
Weetabix: when did he have a hard edge that he had to erase for Paula?
Pie: oh, no idea
Pie: Simon: thought it was terrific
Weetabix: I made a "whatever" face just now, in case it was obscured by my box of Wheat Thins
Pie: I've only seen Kris sing once and I was busy trying to deal with my fleeting sexual attraction, so cannot recall his hard edge
Weetabix: really? REALLY? this is how the Clay Aiken thing started, isn't it?
Pie: no, my attraction to Kris is gone. he is a child. a mere lad.
Weetabix: well, at least the world has been saved from that
You didn't have someone to point out the error in your rationale.
Pie: did you not read my notes? I MADE NOTES!!
Weetabix: Did you not read mine, where I pointed out his douche-ness?
Pie: I get all the white douchey guys mixed up.
Weetabix: it's not your fault. There are so many.
Pie: there are like seven of them this season.
Weetabix: we'd be hard-pressed to crown a Cap'n Date Rape this season
Weetabix: Its worse than the season of Taylor
Pie: oh, no more judges, I think I stopped listening… OH!
Weetabix: OH!?
Pie: Taylor's tickets for his show on Sunset are going for a whopping $0.00
Weetabix: HA! HAHAHAHA!
that burns, man… at least he got the Disney Cruise out of it
Pie: it was on TMZ:

Lil Rounds
“Independence Day”

Weetabix: which, by the way, I've heard at karaoke bars more times than I can even remember
Pie: who sings it again? besides Lil?
Weetabix: Uh.... a lot of bad karaoke singers? Martina McBride, maybe?
It's not Shania
Pie: Ryan Raps with Lil Rounds, who has FABULOUS LIPSTICK RIGHT UP IN HERE
Weetabix: that's all I know
Pie: and dress and jewelry... FABULOUS
Weetabix: really, she gets a Raps? niiiice
Pie: Martina McBride, Randy Travis just pointed out
Weetabix: whoa.... I feel somewhat bad that I knew that
Pie: okay, he is suggesting she go slower on the verses... nothing exciting happening here on the montage
Weetabix: my Wheat Thins are giving me grief now
Pie: oh noooo. damn you, Thins!
Weetabix: Is the stage looking like a mofo BANJO or is it just me?
Pie: god she looks FABULOUS.
Weetabix: I do like the dress a lot… I don't think Simon will, though
Pie: I am busy admiring the fabulous… oh I guess I can see banjo, yes. or clock.
Weetabix: it is very good lipstick… a banjo that is also a clock
Pie: YES!
Weetabix: I think normally it's a faster song than this
Pie: I am just still not over how great she looks. she's doing a very solid job. but man that dress!
Weetabix: I enjoy Lil Rounds
Pie: me too... she's great! this is vocally very impressive.
Weetabix: She's kind of selling country to me right now
Pie: that's a big statement!
Weetabix: It seriously is. Like, I would listen to that in my car and enjoy it.
Pie: she's selling me this song, I don't know about the whole genre.
Weetabix: I meant, if Lil Rounds sang additional country songs, I could perhaps get behind them.
Pie: well there you go
Weetabix: That happens a lot, though, for me. Like, add Jack White to country and suddenly I love it.
Pie: ooh, Van Lear Rose! YES.
Weetabix: what do the judges think?
Pie: Randy didn't like it! didn't think she sounded comfortable.
Lil says she wanted to break out of R&B
then Randy says she should have picked "I Will Always Love You"--missing the point, Randy.
Weetabix: Well, didn't someone go home last year on that song during Dolly week?
Pie: Kara is saying she "did what she felt" and that's good.
Weetabix: she should have picked Patsy Cline, if she were going to pick anything
Pie: Paula said she was spot on in her vocals and looks fabulous, THANK YOU PAULA.
Weetabix: but then again, I love me some Patsy Cline
Pie: yeah, who doesn't?
Weetabix: robots
Pie: Simon just called her "Little"
Pie: and now there's this whole schtick about him calling her "Little," and he did not like it
Weetabix: her name is LIL, Simon! That's just disrespectful. She should call him Simpleton
and "Little" is now going off on a rant, and Simon just cut her off and called her "Little" again.
Paula keeps naming songs Lil should have sung instead.
Weetabix: Well, Independence Day is kind of a sucky song. I never understand why people sing it at karaoke
Pie: well, we're moving on anyway. commercials!

Adam Lambert
“Ring of Fire”

Pie: Adam Lambert is going to do “Ring of Fire”
Weetabix: which is, I think, a very calculated risk
Pie: YES. I am already very happy.
Weetabix: because can anyone ever do this and erase the memory of Daughtry! doing this song so amazingly?
Pie: hahaha! Daughtry did "Walk The Line"
Weetabix: oooh, sick burn
Pie: so much for that indelible memory!
Weetabix: blaming the Wheat Thins

Weetabix: by the way, I had extended discussions this week with Abby
Abby is very pro Adam
Pie: I am also pro Adam
Weetabix: as am I
Pie: he reminds me of my HOT EX ADAM, just a less alcoholic version
Weetabix: does he? Oh, I can kind of see that, although I'm pretty sure that your Hot Ex Adam wasn't in the closet, as I'm thinking our AI Adam is
Pie: is Adam not out?
Weetabix: I don't believe he's out… he's still Hot though
Pie: Randy Travis is confused by Adam's nail polish
Pie: he is doing some emo goth thing and this is not good.
Weetabix: I don't know how I feel about this right now
I really love the original of this song
Pie: he's not as good as Chris Daughtry, when he did his memorable version of a totally different Johnny Cash song.
Weetabix: he's going to have to pull me back around
definitely not as good as Daughtry!
Pie: yeah, this is not improving on the original… nice note, though. just... belongs in a different song.
Weetabix: it was interesting, definitely
Pie: well this whole thing is kind of interesting.
Weetabix: it's very risky
this is a little too Jim Morrison for AI, I suspect
Pie: YES! SO Jim Morrison, you're not wrong.
Weetabix: he's even wearing the leather pants
if it weren't AI, he'd probably not be wearing a shirt
Pie: okay, judges!
Weetabix: do tell
Pie: Kara is saying she's never seen country like it, but she enjoyed "the Egyptian thing," and drama and strangeness
Weetabix: that's such a Wade compliment… Wade doesn't tell lies, so she says things that sound like compliments but aren't
Pie: hee.
Weetabix: things like "I've never seen the use of color that way"
Pie: "it was strange, but I kind of liked it. it left me confused and sort of happy."
that's the first decent comment Kara has made so far.
Pie: Paula is talking about how he was true to himself as an artist.
Paula is throwing out references to Led Zeppelin and sitar music that, once again, are coherent.
who is this person?
Simon says "what the hell was that?" "there are lots of people throwing their television sets out of the window" "absolute indulgent rubbish"
Randy says, imagine Nine Inch Nails doing a country song. he loves it.
Weetabix: that's pretty apt too… kind of Nine Inch Nails
Pie: well, it was certainly divisive!
oooh, Ryan: "We've come a long way since Taylor Hicks stood right here!"
they are now in "we all openly hate Taylor Hicks" mode.
Weetabix: ha! really? what are they saying?
Pie: well just what I quoted above… but when Ryan is criticizing Taylor, you know it's bad
Weetabix: I had an elaborate fantasy where each judge explained why he or she hated Taylor Hicks
Pie: ha! if only!

Scott McIntyre
“Wild Angels”

Weetabix: I don't have video of Scott, so I will be blind
Pie: Scott McIntyre, "Some Song About Troubled Times"
Weetabix: Wild Angels ?
Pie: I like Scott's voice a lot.
yes! Wild Angels are some of the words.
Weetabix: I only have the audio
which is... lovely
Pie: I really enjoy him also.
Weetabix: I should close my eyes to chat
Pie: he is doing great... sounds great, playing the piano.
Weetabix: Who is this by originally?
Pie: Country McSingerperson.
Weetabix: I just tried closing my eyes, but I realized that I couldn't read what you were typing, so I've given up the homage to Scott's handicapability
Pie: I have to say I really like his voice... people in the pool put him way down low but I think he's way better than that placement
Weetabix: I don't know, it sounds a LOT like whatever he did last week
I like his voice too… and also, the blind thing is weirdly hot
or maybe I'm taunted by the Mormon thing
Pie: Paula "you work harder than many people on that stage" but the piano is a crutch for him
Weetabix: he has to memorize it all! He can't even look at the music!
and also, hello, DANCE SEQUENCES
Pie: Simon is like "what do you expect him to do?" and he says Paula is stupid... because Scott is blind I guess.
and just compared Scott to Elton John, “who always sits behind a piano.”
Weetabix: Elton John isn't blind nor Mormon
Paula said "and so does Billy Joel and so does Stevie Wonder and so does Ray Charles"
Weetabix: wait, Billy Joel is blind?
Pie: ha!
this song was also by Martina McBride
Paula and Simon are fighting
Randy wants "hot crazy unbelievable vocals"
Kara is going to sum up: "up your game a little"
Simon says "choose better songs"
and Paula says "get out from behind the piano and connect with the audience"
Scott is saying he works on song arrangements a lot.
Weetabix: He could trip off the stage and fall into the audience
Pie: I like you, Scott!
Weetabix: I like Scott too! And also, hello, is it me you're looking for?
Pie: I am guessing he is probably not going to fall off the stage! I think he probably has some skills not to fall off of things.
while you mold Scott's head out of clay, I am going to fast forward
Weetabix: *First footnoted joke of Weetapidol season: because the video for "Hello" had a blind girl who sculpted Lionel Ritchie's face!
Pie: I don't think that needs a footnote!
maybe it does. commenters, chime in!

Alexis Grace

Pie: Ryan Raps… Alexis is wearing the CUTEST DRESS ALSO
Weetabix: as cute as Lil Rounds' dress?
Pie: not as good as Lil’s, but very cute. off the shoulder and sparkly and black.
Pie: Alexis loves country music because she is from the south
Weetabix: yes!
Pie: speaking of the White Stripes
Weetabix: totally
Pie: their cover of this song makes me the HAPPIEST
Randy Travis likes her and applauded for her and said it was "perfect"
Weetabix: oooh! I can't wait!
Weetabix: I do like this
Pie: she is moving her mouth weird. but I do not care.
Weetabix: She's got moments where her voice isn't what I would call pretty, but then she totally brings me back into the fold.
Pie: she looks like a young Dolly, too. it's kind of crazy. like she could easily be Dolly's daughter.
Weetabix: Yeah, she really does. It's the nose and the blondeness.
Pie: now she is flailing her arms a little… but she's hitting the fuck out of these notes
Weetabix: Well, so far, this is my favorite performance of the evening
Pie: yeah for me it's this and Lil, but this, totes awesome.
Randy isn't sure she "hit the notes" well
Weetabix: There were a few bad notes, but it was still pretty awesome
Pie: "pitch problems" said Randy
Kara said she lost her edge, and wanted her to do an "edgy" song... by Carrie Underwood.
Weetabix: huh
Pie: hee. the last person we would have ever thought would be described as “edgy.”
Weetabix: And sorry, but the White Stripes edged the hell out of Jolene
shut up, Ione Skye
Pie: yeah no shit. I love that cover so much.
Paula thinks it was more effective than Kara and Randy do... Alexis’s artistic approach was good.
Paula "I don't care about pitch problems"… okay, Paula!
Simon says it was okay but that she sounded too Dolly-like
Weetabix: I can see that
Pie: “forgettable,” he said
Weetabix: but at the same time, didn't they freak because Adam didn't sound Johnny Cash-ish enough?
Pie: yeah well Adam's was an insane thing.
I think we can all agree there's a middle ground here somewhere!

Danny Gokey
“Jesus Take The Wheel”

Pie: Danny Gokey is going to sing a Carrie Underwood song... I love it already!
Weetabix: how edgy! "Jesus Take The Wheel"
Pie: oh that's a bummer… I was hoping for "Before He Cheats"
Weetabix: I was hoping for the one where she doesn't know her last name
Pie: yes! that would be an awesome gender-bendy one.
Weetabix: AI doesn't like gender bendy
Pie: Danny is fucking up badly in rehearsal. Randy Travis is not amused.
Weetabix: redemption arc?
Pie: but he says he has an enviable soulfulness when he knows the words.
Weetabix: that's such a backhanded compliment
Pie: no, it was actually a very nice compliment if you saw it, I did not correctly report it.
Pie: Danny is wearing a marshmallow coat. a blinding white coat, are you seeing this?
Weetabix: yes… I don't understand it
bring back the wallet chain, AI Stylist!!!
I don't like this
Pie: I want to set this coat on fire
Jesus, Take This Coat!
Weetabix: HA!
the vocals are not so much here
Pie: I like Danny and his voice, and actually this performance I kind of like. I might have to disagree with you.
Weetabix: maybe I just really don't like the song or the fashion
we get to disagree
Pie: the audience is responding anemically… perhaps they are struck blind by the coat
if Scott looks at it, maybe he will be healed!
Weetabix: they would save that for Idol Gives Back

Weetabix: I'm actually coming back around a little bit. It's the Rent-quality to his voice that I like. I could totally see him playing Mark in Rent.
Pie: yeah he is nerdy enough to be Mark
Kara liked the second half a lot, and did not like "the front half"
Weetabix: I can agree with that weirdly phrased observation
Pie: Paula stammers and disagrees, and liked that the song built to a crescendo
which, I see that point too.
Simon agrees with Paula that you have to have "light and shade" in a song
Simon hates the outfit!
Weetabix: well, thank god
Pie: Randy, OF FUCKING COURSE, likes the jacket.
Simon says it looks like he's going on a polar expedition.
Randy says "don't talk to Simon about fashion"
Weetabix: No, because he knows what he's talking about
Pie: anyway, Randy agrees with Kara and says "support the verses better"
my god, RANDY… the shit that man wears...

Anoop Desai
"You Are Always On My Mind"

Pie: Randy Travis likes it
Randy Travis has no discernment
he likes everything
Weetabix: OH! I love this song! LOVE.
Pie: Anoop has a good smile… he is wearing a hoodie. that seems weird.
Weetabix: I mean, I like the Pet Shop Boys version
Pie: I haven't heard it.
Weetabix: Always On My Mind?
Pie: well, the Pet Shop Boys version.
Weetabix: It was on the Valentine's CD that I didn't send you
Pie: yes, my empty case!
Weetabix: you may have seen it on the liner notes that you DID receive
Pie: I don't know, I cried so hard when here was no CD, I think the liner notes blurred.
Weetabix: aw, that's so sad, it's too bad you didn't have the CD, as there were some schmoopy songs you could have played to soothe your broken heart
Pie: it's weird, after Willie Nelson, this version just sounds generic
Weetabix: this version does sound generic, but I do enjoy Anoop's voice
Pie: I like Anoop. but this is genericoriffic.
Weetabix: he should have totally gone Pet Shop Boys
Pie: Paula "Anoop is back!"
Paula is wearing a sparkly ring shaped like a star. DON'T EVER CHANGE, PAULA!
Simon says Anoop went from zero to hero, and it was one of his favorite of the whole night.
Weetabix: really? I really liked Jolene, though
Pie: Simon takes back what he said about Anoop not deserving to be in the top13. thought he chose a great song and delivered a great vocal and took criticism well last week.
Weetabix: ooh, that's mature, Simon!
Pie: Randy likes the arrangement.
Randy called him "Anoop Dog" which again, I love.
Kara says it's amazing, and best performance of the night. wow.
Weetabix: really!? weird.
Pie: yeah. well, we are not on the same page as the judges!
Weetabix: clearly not.

Megan Joy
“I Go Out Walking After Midnight”

Pie: okay, I am on Megan Utah montage… singing Patsy Cline!
Weetabix: which I approve
Pie: Randy says this song’s been done every possible way, but her version is unique
Weetabix: interesting… it's actually not my favorite Patsy Cline by far, but it's a middling pick
Pie: his dress is quite something.
I'll just say it: boobs.
Weetabix: I do not like how she said "my-als" instead of "miles"
Pie: this is weird. what the fuck is she doing with this weird-ass enunciation?
Weetabix: Is she trying to be all Squirrel Nut Zippers or something? I hate this.
Pie: I want to smack her. the boobs are not swaying me. I too hate this.
Weetabix: oh my god
Pie: "afterrrrrrr midnighttttuuhh"… BLECH.
Weetabix: the hands? She doesn't know what to do with her arms.
Pie: VOMIT. this sucks.
Weetabix: I'm embarrassed for her
Pie: the enunciation! AWFUL. DREADFUL, as Simon would say.
Weetabix: can't wait to hear what the judges say about this
Pie: okay here we go… Randy says "you're glad that one's over, right?"
Weetabix: ha!
Pie: he just said he thought it was going to be a trainwreck, but was impressed.
Weetabix: oh really?
Pie: fuck you, Randy, you liked the white coat. you know nothing.
Weetabix: ha!
Pie: Kara said the song was perfect, and that she's a winner because she sang that well with the flu.
okay, she has the flu. she's coughing, actually.
Weetabix: I mean, it was stylistically memorable, at least, but I'm offended for the sake of country singers who died in plane crashes everywhere
Pie: Paula says she's been in the hospital with the flu.
Weetabix: interesting. They are saying this so that she gets the pity vote
Pie: "if this is what sick is being about, then have at it"… aww, Paula.
Simon says she looks gorgeous and sounded better this week than last week even with the flu.
Weetabix: boobs
Pie: okay, sorry, I hated it.
Weetabix: no, I loathed it, don't apologize to me
Pie: I admire her for singing with the flu, but that hurt my heart.
Weetabix: even with the boobs
Pie: I was apologizing to the universe, since the flu should be a mitigating circumstance. but it is not.

Matt Giraud
"So Small"

Pie: okay montage! this boring-ass Matt guy.
Weetabix: I don't even remember him from last week
Pie: Randy Travis likes it, duh, of course.
Weetabix: well, Randy Travis is totally White Guy Boring
Pie: now Paula is sniffing Simon's arm
Weetabix: context for Paula sniffing Simon's arm?
Pie: none. zero.

Pie: ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz… this guy gives me narcolepsy
Weetabix: oh that's right, this guy
Pie: this guy, who is boring.
Weetabix: "Hey, look, I'm playing piano too! Sure, I can see, but whatever, half credit?!"
Pie: hee
Weetabix: this song sounds exactly like last week's song… I am bored
Pie: he can sing, but yawn. there are too many white guys. vote off a white guy. this one will do.
Weetabix: he's the Michael Buble CD of this entire competition
Pie: hahhahaa
Weetabix: vote off Castrochuleta!
Pie: L to the O to the L
Castrochuleta! I'd completely forgotten about him.
Weetabix: because the white guys are all forgettable! Except blind white guy.
Pie: and Adam Lambert!

Pie: Kara says "there ain't nothing small about you!"
she wants to have sex with him
Paula can't figure out how to say "authenticity" but that's what she thinks he has
Weetabix: ha!
Pie: and he is "piercing her heart" which I think also means she wants to have sex with him
Weetabix: well, of course she does
Pie: she just said "kudos to Carrie Underwood for allowing these kids to sing her songs"
and Simon is like "as if she'd say no"
Weetabix: ha!
Pie: Simon thinks he's underrated and was better than Danny tonight
Weetabix: how many of her songs did Carrie get on the show? two? three?
I think they own it, so it's not like that's a feat
Pie: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
Weetabix: HA!!!
From my mouth to Simon's ears!
Pie: Randy also says he is a cross between Michael Buble and Justin Timberlake
I say he is a cross between a nap and a....nother nap.

Pie: so, your predictions?
Weetabix: huh
Pie: I say vote off that first guy, Michael Sarver
Weetabix: I hope it's Megan Joyless or Michael Sarver
Pie: now that I am seeing him again I'm like, yeah, he can go.
Castrochuleta is boring too. there he is again, Castrochuleting all over the place.
Weetabix: Although Allison didn't win any prizes tonight either
Castrochuleta is boring, but I think his performance last week will carry him over
I suspect he has a John Peter Lewis type fan base
Pie: no not so much. there's Lil Rounds being awesome, Adam Lambert being fucking weird.
Scott being very solid, I think... Alexis being cool.
Weetabix: Adam is going to get votes, though, because he's a star and he took a weird risk
Pie: yeah. also he looks like my hot ex, points for that!
Weetabix: Anoop should be safe, although is very concerned about him
Pie: Danny looking like he’s wearing a strait jacket... what does Dial Idol say?
Weetabix: I don't think Danny sucked enough… let me look!
Pie: Megan enunciating weirdly
Weetabix: Dial Idol has Megan, Michael, Scott, Allison and Alexis at risk, in that order
Which is sad for Alexis, because I really think she did well
Pie: so Megan leaving?
Weetabix: no, backwards
Pie: oooh shit!
Weetabix: Alexis was lowest
Pie: I like Alexis! and she's pretty high in the pool…
Weetabix: it may screw everyone in the pool!
Pie: well at least it will screw us all!
Weetabix: that is so!
Pie: I predict Michael Sarver to go, because I WANT IT.
Weetabix: from your lips to America's ears
Pie: okay, we're done? I think we're done!
Weetabix: We're done! This Weetapidol brought to you by Rickey.Org and the enjoyable crisp of Wheat Thins. By Nabisco.
Pie: Wheathinapidol out!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mo Pie's Random Top 13 Thoughts

Due to scheduling conflicts, we couldn't Weetapidol this week. I took notes while watching the show, though, and figured I might as well post them! If they make no sense, don't worry... a new edition of Weetapidol will be back tomorrow! --mo pie

Am I hallucinating, or does my TiVo say that they're all doing Michael Jackson songs? I hope someone does “Smooth Criminal.”

Ryan has a Dunkelman that looks like an index card. It is very straight.

They are doing a weird-ass introduction of the judges, and the judges all look very awkward. Paula is doing this ANTM walk. And Ryan Seacrest has just come out from behind some swinging doors as if he is about to do the luge. This is weird. Please don't do this every week, show.

Ione Skye is wearing a weird bow and making weird sounds. And acknowledging that “one or two or three” of the contestants could end up on the radio. Way to acknowledge reality, Ione!

I know saying that Paula is wearing a dead bird is played out, but... yeah. That is a dead bird.

So here are the contestant intros... again, no idea who many of these people are.

Michael Jackson theme. The advantage here is that Michael Jackson is so freaky that people could totally make it their own. Like David Cook with “Billie Jean” last year, which is still on my iPod, which I still love.

Lil Rounds
“The Way You Make Me Feel”

I like Lil's husband, he seems very sweet. And the three cute kids are going to be a plus.

The unfortunate thing is I'm judging everyone against Cookie's “Billie Jean” and so far? Not even close.

Her outfit is unfortunate. The pants are bad enough, but they completely clash with that top. The top would be great with different bottoms, but white pants? No. And that necklace throws everything off. No. You can't have a giant bow AND a gold necklace. And those pointy-ass earrings. I like the top, but I need it in a completely different context.

Okay she made it her own a little bit with that one high note, but this is basically not “making me feel” it, dawg. The way you're making me feel is bored, Lil Rounds.

Randy loves her... okay, Randy.
Kara thinks she'll be on the radio... okay, Kara: only two left for the “on the radio” spots!
Paula, who is wearing a DEAD BIRD, enjoys her outfit. And says it's “like angels singing” and is on drugs.
Simon, THE VOICE OF REASON. Thank you, Simon! Hates her outfit, too. Complete agreement.

Scott “Not A New Kid on the Block” McIntyre
“Keep the Faith”

Okay, I guess they can play the piano this season! He gets automatic points for being able to play the piano WHILST BLIND. But seriously I don't want to harp on that this season.

He has a pretty voice. I like the rich tone to his voice. I don't know this song at all, though.

That I thought was way better than Lil Rounds. I don't know; I like his voice more, I guess!

Ione talks first and says irritating things. I always thought the idea of a fourth judge who would be more substantive was a great idea. So why do I HATE HER?
Paula looks sleepy and bizarre and drugged up.
Simon hated it because it's unfamiliar. “It's fine being artistic, but not on this show.” That's not true, even though Alan Sepinwall and Simon both say it.
Randy, who goes last, says something I don't pay attention to, because once Simon talks, I'm out.

Danny Gokey
“Pretty Young Thing”

Hey, he's from Weet's town! Wisconsin in the heezy!

This is the first contestant in a long string of “people I have never seen before.” It is going to be really tricky to do my picks!

He is “making it his own” while wearing weird German-style glasses. And doing a little dance! I will give him points for his cute little dance and his German nerd glasses.

And Paula's rocking out, and he's rocking out! And I like him. Is that correct? I don't even know. I like him! I am digging on this song. And he has some type of Design on the back of his jacket, and I approve of it.

Paula is all trembling and teary and “you're on your way to the finals.” Which means nothing, coming from druggy McDoperson.
Simon thinks he's brilliant! Yes! I feel validated.
And then Randy and Kara presumably said some things. Wow, I literally did not pay attention. But I am a FAN of this guy.

Michael Sarver
“You Are Not Alone”

I'm not gonna lie; I kind of like this song. But this guy is douchey. Sorry. I have identified the frat boy douchey dude of the season, and it is this guy.


Zzzzzzz. Oh good lord this is dull. Competent. Serviceable. Dull.

He can sing, he's not bad looking, but I don't feel he has charisma.

Simon likes his “passion” and “heart” and that's sweet but he is not a puppy at the pound, Simon.
Randy says some things. “One of the best so far” when we are on NUMBER FOUR means nothing.
Ione keeps giving this intense face whenever she comments. God, she is trying so hard. I think I prefer the other three who phone it in. Or the other two and drugged-up Paula.
Paula: is on drugs. And wearing some crazy ass diamond coin purse from her hand. Please show, never lose Paula! Never lose the magic!

Jasmine Murray
“I'll Be There”

Oh god, someone named Jasmine. At least she's not wearing a flower in her hair. Also, I don't want to hear Ryan say “lets go down south” again.

She seems sweet; I like her! And her family is cute. And her Mom looks like Tina Turner only with... Botox?

And now she's singing. Her babydoll dress is kind of Boogie Nights, but I'm kind of enjoying it.

There is something about her high notes that is kind of husky and strange. And not in a cool, Fantasia-type way, either. She is cannon fodder, I think. Maybe even this week, stuffed in the middle of the pack as she is.

Kara still so far has nothing but good things to say. USELESS. She and Paula and Randy have all said nothing but good, useless things.
Wait, Paula just critiqued! And she still sounds like she's about to cry. But at least she said something negative.
Simon is giving the “not too harsh” cannon fodder critique.

Kris Allen
“Remember the Time”

Oh, sexy sideburns. Sorry, he's like 14, isn't he? Fuck. He has a zit. That zit tells me that he is Not Old Enough for me to find hot.

Aw! A newlywed! And he is cute. And he has a guitar. Oh dear.

Wait, he is singing out of only half of his mouth. That's not cute when Drew Barrymore does it and it's not cute here either, Kris.

Wow, I thought he was all cute in his video, and now... a complete 180. And I don't know much about the guitar, but he doesn't seem to be playing it so much as strumming one chord over and over and over again... maybe he's played too much Guitar Hero and thinks he's pressing the green and blue buttons or something.

Kara, whose top I love, by the way, is saying something positive. Shocking! She buries her criticism in a bunch of stupid praise. I hate you, Kara.
Paula is flirting with Simon. Maybe her voice is trembling because she's on drugs. Or nervous? Or something. She's all shaky. I feel like Paula is my dotty old aunt and I want to shield her from pain.
Simon thinks he should use his sex appeal and keep the wife hidden for a while. His wife doesn't get the joke at all. Oh, The Wife. You seem humorless.
Randy: “Very well job done.” Nice, Randy.

Allison Iraheta
“Give In to Me”

I like her hair color. But she strikes me as more cannon fodder. She's like that husky-voiced chick... Amanda? The “rocker” from a season or two ago? Who is going to get by on attitude and not much else? That's what I'm getting from her.

But maybe the “Latina” thing will carry her for a bit... we don't have nearly enough contestants of Hispanic descent.

I have nothing to say. The crowd is going wild, and I am bo-hored.

(I see on Alan's blog that she sang “Alone” in the semis. I heard about that performance and downloaded it and thought it was good, even given Carrie Underwood's awesome rendition. So I skew her slightly upward.)

Paula is mind-boggled. Well there's news.
Simon said “very good” but she should lighten up. Not bad advice.
Randy likes her so much and thinks she is one to watch. Am I high by finding her boring?
Kara, again, likes her. KARA WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU?

Anoop Desai
“Beat It”

I think just by picking this song and being the 13th contestant, he won't go home tonight.

I like the Matrix graphics behind him. And I like what he just did with “Macho Man.” I am interested, Anoop. Also, the name Anoop is cool.

So far nothing is equalling, or even coming anywhere close to touching, Cookie's “Billie Jean.”

His voice cracked a little, but I liked the originality. And I really think he's not going to go home tonight, but he's also not going to be a contender for the finals.

Paula: Did not like it! Wow, Paula called it “karaoke” and got booed.
Simon: Thought it was horrible. This means Anoop is safe this week... I bet anything.
Randy just called him “Anoop Dawg” which is both awesome and appropriate.
Kara even agrees that he sucks. Wow, I thought it wasn't bad!

And now Anoop is desperately trying to save himself by saying he's hoping to be around next week. Oh, Anoop. You are cute and tall and have a dimple. Plus they slammed you and you were the wild card. You're most likely safe. Just stand there and smile.

Jorge Nunez
“Never Care to Say Goodbye”


I have never even heard this song.

Randy calls it old-timey and boring.
Kara says something annoying and overly emotes as she says it.
Paula didn't like this song either so you know it must be bad.
Simon calls it corny and out of his depth. Old-timey again. “Couldn't wait for it to end.” Amen, sister.

Megan Joy Corkrey
“Rockin' Robin”

Megan Utah! She is wearing some insane dress. Her mom is hot. MILF-hot, and she's not even my type. Oh god, if I'm finding the moms hot, I AM TOO OLD TO WATCH THIS SHOW.

The “I miss my baby so much” thing will make us want to send you home so you can be with your cute baby. Lil Rounds wasn't all weepy.

“Rockin' Robin”? This is weird. This is MJ? And she looks all awkward and weird and her teeth are too white and I hate her weird boob shirt.

I get this weird feeling that I almost PSYCHOTICALLY LOVE HER with the wavy hair and the high shoes and insane dress and tattoos, but right now I dislike her. I could be swayed, is what I'm saying. But not by this song.

Kara ANNOYS ME. I do not feel I could be swayed by her.
Paula is babbling but next to Kara I find her unintelligible blather comforting.
Simon hates the song choice: yes. “If this is the first time anyone had seen this person they'd all think we'd gone completely nuts.” Simon, this is the first time I've seen her and I feel like there's something there, but not this.
Did Randy talk?

Adam Lambert
“Black and White”

Fuck, he looks hot. He reminds me of my ex. He's kind of androgynous, too. Like my hot ex, who wore mascara. I am disturbed by my own response. And he has a wallet chain just for Weetabix.

Oh man, I am on board with this kid. If David Cook had not just won, I would be putting my money on him, I think.

Oh god, and Adam smiles just like my hot ex. WHO IS ALSO NAMED ADAM. I CANNOT PROCESS THIS.

Paula: loved him.
Simon: says Adam is “in a totally different league.” Yes. I am not blinded by my vagina! Simon agrees. Although I do not think it is up to the level of Cookie, because Cookie's performance was so amazing. One of the best Idol performances of all time. But this was very very very outstandingly good.
Randy: loves him. And Adam looks all emotional, not cocky at all.
Kara: loves him.
Mo Pie: loves him.

Matt Giraud
“Human Nature”

I have to say, this is actually turning out to be a pretty good theme. Even though nobody is singing “Smooth Criminal” yet someone has sung “Rockin' Robin” which is fucked up.

This is “cabaret.” This is what I think of as “cabaret.” He is being drowned out by the background music and by his own piano. And he is boring me. I feel like I am going up the elevator at Nordstrom and this is the piano player tinkling in the background.

Randy likes it. Ione likes it. Paula calls him sexy in what seems like a robotic fashion. Simon even said it was very good. Okay. Maybe I just want my hot ex back again. Come back, hot ex!

Alexis Grace
“Dirty Diana”

She is cute as a button, isn't she? And her little baby saying “Seacrest out!” Oh, that's cute. I don't know this song.

I love her hair. God, she's got great hair. And check out those legs! She's a little spastic but... yeah, she's pretty great.

Wow, that was great... I don't know the song, but she is gorgeous but I somehow don't hate her.

Paula and Simon both thought it was oversinging.
Randy thought it was not great but good.
Kara liked it. I liked the measured critique.

Two hours down! God I'm glad this is done!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Weetapidol Top 13 Pool Results

Sorry for the delay on the pool results, guys, but this Top 13 business really threw us for a loop. You see, Weet concocted a very elaborate spreadsheet last year to eliminate scoring error (not that we ever had any, and of course, it caused a scoring error last year. Ah, comedy!) but the whole thing was based on V-Lookups and other Excel madness and it was all built around having 12 contestants. Except now there were 13! Except then they eliminated 2 of them! GAH! So the spreadsheet took some tweaking. Also, because of the Double Elimination this week, they didn't really say who had the least votes and who had the second least, so the 12th and 13th person on your lists were both treated as a 12th spot. This should help everyone because it's no loss of points if you picked both of this week's eliminated contestants and if you guessed that, say, Scott would be eliminated last night, if he does go all the way, you'll earn one more point than you would have otherwise.

If you have any questions about scoring, we have an explanation of our point system here (only you now have a maximum of 13 points in any given week, since there were 13 finalists) and note that because of the double elimination, this week you could have earned a possible 26 points.

Also, it is not too late to get pool picks in. You won't receive any point earning opportunities for this week (see Weet's score) but historically, the latecomers have done very well in our Weetapidol standings. Leave your picks in the comments!

This year, we tabulated the Weetapidol Hive Mind again. We'll post the rankings next week, since we may have some late entrants to the pool that will change the averages, but the Hive Mind correctly picked that Jasmine and Jorge would go this week. Next week, the Hive Mind has doomed Kris Allen. We shall see what America decides!

If you have any questions about scoring, please feel free to inquire in the comments!

Mopie 26
Shari H 26
Jeremy 26
Weetapidol 26
Kelly S 25
Wendi 25
Eden 25
Kim 25
Gila 25
TeKay 24
Aine 23
Martha 23
Shmuel 20
Weet 0

Congratulations to Mopie, Jeremy and Shari, who all correctly picked both ousted contestants, and to everyone, who together predicted this week's results show as well!


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Weetapidol Pool Waits for No Man (Not Even Seacrest)

Tonight, it appears that we'll be hearing from the Final Top 13 (wasn't it 12 last year? What's up with that, Seacrest?!) which means that you'll need to be thinking about your Weetapidol Pool Picks as you watch the show tonight. If you're interested in participating in the Pool, reply to this post with your picks ranked in order 1, 2, 3, etc, 13, with the #1 person being the person whom you think will eventually WIN American Idol in May and the 13th person being the person whom you think will be eliminated this week. Here are the Top 13, in no particular order:

Alexis Grace
Michael Sarver
Danny Gokey
Allison Iraheta
Kris Allen
Adam Lambert
Lil Rounds
Scott MacIntyre
Jorge Nunez
Jasmine Murray
Megan Corkrey
Matt Giraud
Anoop Desai

Participation in the Weetapidol Pool is free and the winner will receive some American Idol-related prize. Past prizes have included the Dreamgirls Soundtrack and Daughtry! CDs. In the event of a tie, Pie and Weet will contrive some sort of humorous tie-breaker, but let's be real, we're all doing this for fun. Your picks must be posted in the comments of this here entry by Wednesday by 8 EST/7 CST/6 MST / 5 PST.

What will you do, Weetapidolers? What will you do?

Labels: ,

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Meatloaf Sucks, Right?

Pie: hello! Weetapidol IN.
Is Pepsi sponsoring this now?
Pie: I have no idea who any of these people are

Pie: just let me say that from the get go

Weetabix: No idea
but apparently yellow is in… who knew?
Pie: I certainly did not

Pie: this... is aMERICAN Idol

This is the chance of a lifetime!!!
Man, has it already been a year since we watched this show?
it doesn't seem like a year
that was a fast year
Pie: did you see they had all seven Idol winners on some Disney cruise thing?
Weetabix: we should go on that cruise
they should SEND US on that cruise
Pie: I wonder how much they had to pay Kelly Clarkson to show up… Taylor Hicks did it for a Home Depot gift card
Weetabix: HA!
Weetabix: poor Taylor
Weetabix: I wonder if he could get off his night shift at the Walmart
Pie: he is currently playing Teen Angel at Walmart

Pie: Alexis... and... some... other people
Pie: I caught "Alexis." There is someone named Alexis.
Weetabix: final group! this isn't top 12! You've tricked me, Mopie!
Pie: no, this has to be top 12! isn't it?
Weetabix: I don't care
Weetabix: we're here, we're queer, let's do this thing
Weetabix: Simon Cowell's hair has a strange slant
Pie: oh, and the new judge!
Pie: this is a whole new crazy world
Weetabix: just like that Disney song! it's all topical
Pie: what the hell are these rules?
Pie: too drunk to keep going
Weetabix: wait, two guys at once?
Weetabix: what was up with the two guys?
are there siamese twins?
Pie: there is someone named Kendall Beard
Pie: she's going to end up married to Tom Cruise, I know it.
Weetabix: that would be awesome
Pie: or Ryan Seacrest!
Weetabix: I want THAT American Idol!
Pie: I missed the two guys
Pie: if there are Siamese Twins that would rule
Weetabix: they could do sweet sweet harmonies

Weetabix: I enjoy watching you drink the wine... silently
Pie: note to readers: we are on Skype and can view each other doing silent things
Pie: like wine drinking
Pie: and laughing at each other's jokes
Pie: and... doing... hand... motions.
Pie: and looking confused at said hand motions.
Weetabix: it adds to the interest when we do the Elliot bat motion

Pie: wait, so this is Von something…
Weetabix: Von Dutch
Pie: Von Dutch! totes.
Weetabix: he's got exploding rose petals!
Pie: is he wearing ruby slippers?
Weetabix: I don't approve of his footwear
Pie: I don't approve of his voice so much
Weetabix: no, he's... hmmm. That guy on Riddick and also, Lord of the Rings
Pie: okay I need to ask Shmuel, if he's reading this, to send me the link to what he Twittered was "best Idol performance ever."
Pie: I need to know what that was.
Weetabix: well, it's certainly not this one
Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: I wonder if they coordinated the exploding rose petals to his footwear
Pie: Von Dutch is making unfortunate faces as he sings
Weetabix: who is the douche with the fucking HEADBAND?
Pie: where is there a headband dude?
Weetabix: I'm fixated on his shoes. Are they Puma? Nike? I must know.
Pie: maybe headbands are back, like yellow. you don't know. WE KNOW NOTHING.
Weetabix: We are learning things, already in the first performance. And we have Von Dutch to thank for that.
Pie: aw, Randy! "yo yo yo"! did he "work it out"?
Weetabix: Again with the patterned shirts and gigantic watch
Pie: and he is saying "dawg." It's like coming home.
Weetabix: Aw, I missed the gigantic Randy watch
Weetabix: ok, weird new judge chick
Pie: now some lady is sitting there. hello, confusing new lady.
Weetabix: do we know what her name is? she's a little crazy
Pie: we do not. we should just name her something.
Weetabix: She looks like Ione Skye
Pie: yes! Ione Skye is good.
Pie: wow, Paula! still on drugs.
Weetabix: oh, seriously who does this guy look like
Weetabix: Wait, sneakers! Neither Puma nor Nike. I'm perplexed.
Pie: please, Simon. pleeeeeease.
Weetabix: and what is Simon doing with his hand? To paula's back?
Weetabix: is he feeling her backbone? It's very beguiling.
Pie: he is winding her up
Pie: pulling her string
Pie: she just said "pitch perfect"
Pie: he just pulled the string and she said words
Weetabix: HA!
Pie: so are these people.... in the top.. what? 400? 24? 48? when are we int he top 12?
Weetabix: I have no idea
Weetabix: I miss Ryan's suits. Do we have to wait until Top 12 for suits?
Pie: Hee!
Pie: bring back Dunkleman! and John Cusak with a boom box.

Weetabix: I hate the finger thing. I would like to start the season right now by saying "No more The Finger!"

Weetabix: Utah gives good talent
Weetabix: she's from Utah
Pie: did you catch the last name?
Weetabix: Taylor Utah
Pie: Taylor Utah has a crying little sister and funny hair
Pie: she does not look Morman
Weetabix: I have been to Utah and sister, that is not Utah in the background
Weetabix: but I'm liking the liquid leather leggings
Pie: I enjoy her little dress and outfit
Weetabix: and the whole outfit is lovely
Weetabix: I bought some liquid leather leggings, just to have them
Pie: do you spray them on?
Weetabix: no, they are unworn as of this juncture
Pie: her voice sounds nervous
Weetabix: agreed… her stance is a little strange too
Pie: well she's doing better on the chorus
Weetabix: a little "I'm giving birthy"
Pie: go, Taylor Utah! I inexplicably like her.
Weetabix: maybe it's the dress
Weetabix: I do too… I don't know what it is
Pie: she has a good voice, this Taylor Utah
Weetabix: by the way, did you see? Jordin Sparks has lost significant amounts of weight now
Pie: no kidding?
Weetabix: now she has a giant head thing situation going on
Pie: she looked the same on the Disney Cruise clip
Weetabix: maybe it was the angle
Weetabix: "YOU HAVE A VOICE"
Weetabix: aw, Taylor Utah is crying
Pie: the clip I saw by the way was Carrie Underwood and David Cook dueting on.... I will look it up. that Stevie Nicks band.
Pie: so this new judge?
Pie: reminds me of the fake judge on my American Idol karaoke game. it's like... not Paula... and she's talking.. and I'm confused.
Weetabix: Fleetwood Mac?!
Weetabix: is that the Stevie Nicks band? FLEETWOOD MAC?!
Pie: YES! Fleetwood Mac!
Pie: they did some duet. it was good.
Weetabix: Aw, she's only 17
Weetabix: look at how wee Ryan is standing next to the 17 year old girl!!
Pie: they were kind of mean to Taylor Utah.
Weetabix: I never knew what Kelly Clarkson was like in the first few weeks. I did not know what it was like to go shopping with David Cook.
Pie: I would like to go shopping with Taylor Hicks. because he has a gift card to Home Depot.
Weetabix: You're such a Home Depot slut.
Weetabix: I'll bet Taylor is into woodworking now, like most of America's retired community
Pie: I love how in Grease they have him playing the AGED TEEN IDOL.
Pie: like, fuck it, we'll cast him as the 50 year old.
Weetabix: do they? I haven't seen it yet
Pie: it's the Frankie Avalon part
Weetabix: That’s just sad.

Weetabix: Alex something?
Pie: commerical! more wine.
Weetabix: every time you get up, I can see straight down your shirt. Weetapidolers, you're missing the boobie cam
Pie: someone named ALEX and people think he is a DORK
Weetabix: Apparently this show has something to do with Coca-Cola
Weetabix: wait, the 'I'm dorky' card is what carried David Archuleta to the finals!
Weetabix: that's a smart move
Weetabix: Alex Wagner-Truttmansomething?
Pie: yeah and speaking of Clay Aiken
Weetabix: totally
Weetabix: his hair is very Adam Sandler
Weetabix: in general, he looks like a young dorky Adam Sandler
Pie: I enjoy dorky men, as you may be aware, so I am rooting for him!
Weetabix: wait, he's 18, how could he be in a "long distance relationship for awhile"
Pie: he is in a "long-distance relationship" e.g. "someone he met on the Internet"
Weetabix: HA!
Weetabix: on the AOL "My parents are lame" chat room
Pie: it is someone from World of Warcraft
and probably a dude pretending to be a hot chick
Weetabix: hey, that's a 40 level elf wizard you're talking about!
Pie: Ha!
Pie: he has very active eyebrows
Weetabix: I do enjoy expressive eyebrows, but that supposed glory note? It sounded like premature ejaculation.
Weetabix: he does not have a very wonderful voice
Pie: yeah, this whole song is kind of turning into that
Weetabix: this is mildly painful
Weetabix: OH MY GOD
Weetabix: "time on my hands" almost killed me
Pie: no. it is. sorry, Alex. I like you but this sucks.
Pie: go back to trying to level up your dwarf mage, because you're done.
Weetabix: yes, he's affable and he has big feet (huh?) but the boy did not rock this, dawg
Weetabix: oh, he got Dad's looks. Poor thing.

Weetabix: We haven't spent any money, Paula. This is network television.
Pie: wait, why is Paul talking first? are they skipping Ione and Randy?
Weetabix: perhaps? Maybe it's a time savings measure
Weetabix: Simon will always get the final word
Weetabix: Randy and Ione Skye have been usurped
Weetabix: they've diluted the brand of the judges… in marketing terms
Pie: Simon is not wrong about him being a little hamster. why did we not call Archuleta a hamster? why!?!?
Weetabix: because we are, sadly, not as mean as Simon
Weetabix: wait, now we've got Randy
Weetabix: I have no idea. I don't understand this new logic.
Pie: this is a whole new weird world and I don't understand it
Weetabix: I kind of don't like Ione Skye's criticism
Pie: if Pepsi was sponsoring I wouldn't be surprised
Weetabix: maybe Ione Skye's sponsored by Pepsi
Weetabix: I think I loathe her
Pie: yeah, she's plunked in the middle of the Coke-sponsored judges
Pie: Ryan sure does look comfortable stroking that mike stand in his tight pants.
Weetabix: I think I would pay $500 to watch Ryan get a chubby in the middle of one of these Ryan Raps sessions
Weetabix: and I'm unemployed. That's saying a lot.
Pie: I would pay $500 if you didn't tell me about it.

Weetabix: ARIANA blub blub
Pie: ah yes, miss blub blub
Pie: ABBA!!!! someone is singing ABBA!
Weetabix: Three more people into the top 12
Pie: I love you, Arianna!!!
Weetabix: about fucking time
Weetabix: they should have Abba WEEK
Pie: they should!! oh my god.
Weetabix: why have they not capitalized on that? Especially in the light of the success of Mamma Mia
Weetabix: oh lovely
Pie: she is singing "The Winner Takes It All"
Weetabix: The Winner Takes It All!
Pie: we did not type the names of any of the other songs anyone sang
Pie: because WE DID NOT CARE
Weetabix: Meryl did that fantastically in the movie
Weetabix: and Meryl Streep legitimized Abba!
Pie: that movie sucked; the direction was terrible
Weetabix: oh, the movie did suck, but Meryl was fantastic with this song
Weetabix: it actually caused me to like Meryl for the first time of my entire life
Pie: I am swaying
Weetabix: oh, the beginning wasn't nice though
Pie: I like that she is making it her own
Weetabix: oh no no no no no
Pie: I can't decide if I love this or hate it.
Weetabix: I will wait until the chorus
Pie: what about Meryl all spastic during the ENTIRE REST OF THE MOVIE?
Pie: I think she's overrated.
Weetabix: I blame direction on that, and having to listen to Pierce Brosnan sing, which had to be painful
Pie: heh. no kidding.
Pie: the glory note could have been better... Meryl did it better.
Weetabix: I do too, always have, but I did love the song in the movie
Pie: sorry, Ariana Fluffington.
Weetabix: this, however, I did not like
Weetabix: I may be biased, however, for my Abba love
Pie: no, it was not great.
Weetabix: she's got very pretty eyes, though
Weetabix: she's a pretty girl
Pie: so far I am not impelled to vote for anyone.
Weetabix: in fact, she reminds me of my niece Abby
Pie: OH MY GOD. she does look like Abby. that is eerie.
Weetabix: Randy seems to be wearing a Friendship necklace from summer camp
Pie: ha!
Pie: Ione Skye has a lisp
Pie: and she just told Fluffington to "touch people"
Weetabix: no, "cute as a button" is not a compliment when you want to be taken seriously. But then again, you don't go on American Idol if you want to be taken seriously either.
Pie: touche
Weetabix: I'm enjoying Paula's earrings tonight.
Weetabix: it's almost... flag of Russia?
Pie: they have stars! they are a delight.
Weetabix: [MO DRINKS WINE]
Pie: [TRUE]
Pie: see how much skype brings to the table?
Pie: it is almost as if we are together again.
Weetabix: it brings the WORLD to the table!

Weetabix: wait, plain white T's?! oh no
Weetabix: not Hey There Deliliah
Pie: please be Hey There Deliliah
Pie: jinx!
Pie: opposite jinx!
Weetabix: please please no
Weetabix: no
Weetabix: no
Weetabix: no
Pie: yes
Pie: yes
Pie: yes
Weetabix: yes, anti jinx!
Pie: Ju'Not is his name...
Pie: Junot Diaz is a fabulous author!
Weetabix: Seriously, they were judging outside of a boat?
Pie: also he bribed the judges with his cute child
Weetabix: that is smart
Pie: I en'Joy names with apostrophes
Weetabix: I would have passed him a'long as well
Pie: He is singing Hey There Deliliah! I WIN!
Weetabix: it IS Hey There Delilah!
Weetabix: well of course it is
Weetabix: what else would he sing by the Plain White Ts
Weetabix: they've got one other song that ju'st came out but I don't know what it is
Pie: it is strange that he is black, yet this is the WHITEST SONG. I feel the need to point that out because I am a racist.
Weetabix: why are there HANDCUFFS!?!?!
Pie: I do not see said handcuffs.
Weetabix: are handcuffs the new wallet chain?
Weetabix: it's on his belt area
Weetabix: like, clipped to a belt loop on his left side
Weetabix: I am flummoxed
Pie: I will vote for him just for singing this song and "making it his own."
Weetabix: I'm not hating this
Weetabix: despite the fact that it's Hey There Delilah
Pie: this is my favorite so far, by a mile.
Weetabix: I did not hate it, but again, HANDCUFFS
Weetabix: nice devil hands
Pie: thank you!
Pie: I enjoyed that note, and I enjoy this song.
Weetabix: sorry, Hey There Delilah never should earn devil horns
Pie: well it should also never be sung by a black person, and yet here we are.
Weetabix: Randy is addressing that issue
Weetabix: of r&b versus Plain White Guys song
Pie: Randy loved it! Dawg.
Pie: me too. Dawg.
Weetabix: Ione Skye is such a douche
Pie: Ione Skye is trying too hard to be a judge.
Weetabix: Paula's like "show me the child again!? You have a child! I know you do!"
Pie: Paula: "Why did you not carry your child on the stage with you?"
Weetabix: Paula's wearing like, Oscar-worthy bling. All the Harry Winstons that didn't go to the Oscars in one fell swoop
Pie: Simon and his perplexing hair also enjoyed it!
Pie: ooh, wanted the whole song stripped down.. I would have enjoyed that also.
Weetabix: I wish Ju'not had stripped. Period.
Weetabix: he's a fine man.
Pie: I can't co'sign that, I'm sorry.
Weetabix: As you should be.
Weetabix: HandCUFFS
Weetabix: did you see them?
Pie: he also has a cross
Weetabix: Wait, don't call the Plain White T's "artists"
Pie: he's no Daughtry
Weetabix: No, certainly not. I have seen Daughtry and no, he is no Daughtry.
Weetabix: Handcuffs or Hand'cuffs
Pie: please, you like Death Cab, and suddenly you are on your high horse about the Plain White T's
Weetabix: Touche.
Pie: you love emo white bands
Weetabix: I perhaps might have liked Plain White T's until they went Top 40, and then it killed it for me.
Weetabix: I only like emo white boys who are not tainted by the Ryan Seacrest Sunday Countdown.

Pie: so only two of these people are even going to be in the top 12?
Weetabix: three?
Pie: I feel like such a sucker,.
Weetabix: look! Simon Le Bon! Nathaniel!
Pie: ha!
Weetabix: Kristen is weird
Weetabix: Kristen looks like a Playboy girl
Pie: she looks like.. wh is it? Kelly Ripa? Elizabeth Hasselback? Joy from My Name Is Earl?
Weetabix: oh, yes, that's it, Jaime Pressley
Weetabix: and in the opposite of Ju'Not, she's the whitest girl ever, singing Tracy Chapman
Pie: and also in the opposite of Ju'Not, she sucks.
Weetabix: it's bad karaoke
Weetabix: and her dress is not cute, although normally I like those colors together
Weetabix: you're enjoying Jaime way too much
Pie: I am dancing for you
Pie: I am drunk
Pie: and also
Pie: in addition
Pie: she sucks
Weetabix: it's more entertaining than Joy from My Name is Earl
Weetabix: she really does suck
Weetabix: and those bangs are so 8 years ago
Weetabix: I enjoyed watching you just fall out of frame a minute ago
Weetabix: did you knock over your wine?
Pie: I just broke my TV
Weetabix: oh noooo!
Pie: now the man is singing
Weetabix: you're only missing the worst glory note ever. Maybe it was that note that broke the tv, not your drunken dancing
Pie: I am rewinding
Weetabix: you're way too far!
Pie: tell me when Jamie Pressley is done
Weetabix: Ione Skye is claiming that Kristen is a great singer. Ione Skye is wrong.
Weetabix: Kristen has some very strong calf muscles, by the way
Pie: okay I am there! she is saying good things about Jamie Pressley... inexplicable
Weetabix: I'll bet its from all the deep knee bends that she does
Weetabix: I'm guessing that she's a runner, actually
Weetabix: or does a lot of stairmaster
Weetabix: one does not get those calves from shopping.
Weetabix: Mopie, you are listing to the left
Weetabix: She's got shoulder roses. I don't appreciate that look.
Pie: I think they want to go shopping with Jamie

Weetabix: Nathaniel is... a lot of look.
Pie: I am not there yet! should I fast forward?
Weetabix: I kind of love him already
Weetabix: yes
Weetabix: yes
Weetabix: yes
Weetabix: yes
Weetabix: yes
Weetabix: you need to see this
Pie: I am on his video
Weetabix: I'm just in the video
Pie: he is smiling and signing thngs
Weetabix: OH MY GOD, he's singing Meatloaf
Weetabix: sadly, not good Meatloaf… but still, Meatloaf
Weetabix: it's like my dream artist night!
Pie: FAIL.
Pie: he doesn't have to sing a fucking note. he is out.
Weetabix: he's got a neck tattoo
Pie: Meat
Pie: fucking
Pie: Loaf
Weetabix: it's like Meatloaf as sung on a Disney cruise ship
Weetabix: I don't know what to make of Simon Le Bon singing this song
Pie: kill me.
Pie: someone literally please come here and put me to death.
Weetabix: why sing Meatloaf if you're going to sing it like this? Why?
Pie: why sing Meatloaf AT ALL EVER?!?!?!
Weetabix: The point of Meatloaf is emotion, pure and raw and visceral.
Weetabix: He's missing the point of the 'Loaf!
Pie: The point of Meatloaf?? THERE IS NO POINT.
Weetabix: Oh, it's POINTY!
Pie: I could not express my feelings n any other way.
Weetabix: He's got Butch Patrick fangs
Weetabix: I need to take off my shirt
Pie: YES!
Weetabix: Simon, no one will like that.
Weetabix: I enjoy Meatloaf, but I did not enjoy that song.
Pie: I am questioning our entire friendship based on that, AND ALSO did not enjoy the song.
Weetabix: Why the ear stretching, by the way?
Weetabix: Oh, whatever, Clay Aiken!
Pie: okay Clay Aiken has taken an unfortunate turn
Pie: but at least he can sing
Pie: oh god, his mom has no teeth. I feel kind of bad now.
Weetabix: As well you should! He's from the trailer court!
Weetabix: Meatloaf is amazing. And also, I have nostalgia from getting drunk with my much-too-old boyfriend when I was in high school.
Weetabix: He doesn't know from fashion!
Pie: if anyone is reading this, please back me up here. MEATLOAF = SUCKS.
Pie: Ione Skye..... just... .stop.
Weetabix: You clearly have not gotten high while listening to Bat out of Hell when you were 17
Weetabix: Yeah, I'm so over Ione Skye
Weetabix: Aw, look at his little in-bred family
Pie: I made out to Meatloaf a lot... WITH A GAY MAN.
Weetabix: Well, that's the problem, right there. You had negative reinforcement.
Weetabix: Actually, my much-too-old boyfriend also turned out to be gay, so there it is.
Weetabix: and yet, different reactions. Huh. Weird.
Weetabix: Maybe it was the pot?
Pie: he sang "Disturbia"?
Pie: that is on my workout playlist and is awesome.
Weetabix: The Rhianna version? That might have been worth it.
Pie: yes
Weetabix: Paula likes Meatloaf! She's diluting the Meatloaf brand! Much more than the gay ex-boyfriend connotation
Pie: I need to look that shit up on YouTube.
Weetabix: Ryan's also got a huge watch.
Pie: I have also finished an entire bottle of wine
Weetabix: Simon Le Bon has a LOT of body art for such a young boy.
Weetabix I have almost finished a bottle of wine

Weetabix: Felicia Barton! stay at home mom?
Pie: she is pretty
Weetabix: very pretty
Pie: why are they doing final judging in weird giant Alice in Wonderland red chairs?
Weetabix: wait, they called her back? why did they call her back? What's the story on that?
Weetabix: Oh not Alicia Keys
Weetabix: I'm so sick of No One… I hope she sings it better than Alicia Keys
Weetabix: that's a big act to follow
Pie: she does not sing it better
Weetabix: She's got like, too big of a voice or something
Weetabix: Like, she's belting it too much
Pie: that is a good way to put it
Pie: and yet she is so pretty
Weetabix: That's the problem if you haven't been professionally trained
Pie: I am blinded by wanting to kind of have sex with her....
Weetabix: if you belt it all the time, then you have nowhere to go when you really need to belt it, and that's when you get squeaky
Pie: oh! she looks like Rashida Jones
Weetabix: oh, that's a good comparison
Weetabix: I think the performance wasn't bad, but I don't like the song in general
Pie: no, it was not bad
Weetabix: I think she picked a bad song, quite honestly
Pie: she is gorgeous, it is true. VOTE FOR RASHIDA!
Weetabix: her hair reminds me of your sister
Pie: Paula is hot for her and agrees with me.
Pie: okay I am all "woo! hot! woo!" and you are like "YOUR SISTER"
Weetabix: ha! whoops
Weetabix: she is hot
Weetabix: as is your sister
Pie: talk about a boner killer.
Weetabix: I am sorry. I will endeavor to be a boner cultivator.
Pie: excellent. go Rashida! Felicia, Rashida, same thing.
Weetabix: Ryan had some personal touching for a very prolonged amount of time.
Weetabix: it might be Ryan Chubby time.
Weetabix: Or maybe I just need $500.

SCOTT McIntyre
Weetabix: Scott! With crazy crazy hair
Pie: Scott McIntyre! I think he's one of the New Kids on the Block
Weetabix: really?
Pie: no.
Weetabix: Oh, he's BLIND
Weetabix: oh my god
Pie: he sang Home!
Pie: by DOG TREE!
Pie: thats what we call him in my house. DOG TREE.
Weetabix: and he's BLIND! Now I want to do him
Pie: you have a blind guy fetish?
Weetabix: Apparently. Who knew?
Weetabix: Blind guy in argyle with a wallet chain? I might just implode.
Weetabix: I am not a big Bruce Hornsby fan.
Weetabix: The Captain is, and perhaps that is why I am not.
Weetabix: You know, because he cannot see, his voice is enhanced.
Weetabix: it's a proven fact.
Pie: this dude is good. he is GOOD.
Weetabix: In my pants. He's in.
Weetabix: America will be voting for blind guy.
Weetabix: Blind Guy is in the Top 10. Mark my words.
Pie: yes.
Weetabix: His entire family has very large teeth. I'm getting an Osmond vibe.
Weetabix: When Ione Skye agrees, she does this weird teeth sucking thing with her mouth.
Pie: oh dear. is that code for incest?
Weetabix: Or maybe Hot Mormon Underpants.
Pie: Osmond = Dollanganger
Weetabix: Are they really?
Weetabix: I had no idea. I have not read the difinitive Osmond expose
Pie: I don't know, it's just a vibe
Weetabix: Maybe that's why he's blind? Because his mother trapped him in an attic.
and fed him arsenic doughnuts.
Pie: I though his voice was good. and yes. he ate…
Pie: yes! arsenic donuts. exactly where I was going with that.
Pie: go Scott!
Weetabix: How many of our generation kind of got off on the weird incest sex between Chris and Cathy Dollanganger in the attic? If we were really truthful about it?
Pie: everyone… 98%
Weetabix: And the other two percent is lying.
Pie: thank god I didn't have a brother, or else I would be uber-confused.
Weetabix: Sorry, he's hot. I think I have my crush.
Weetabix: Yeah, I'm glad that my brother wasn't born until I was 18. Because seriously, I'd have been distracted.

Pie: Randy is pretending to be Ryan.. this is how they fill two hours
Weetabix: "I'll go to Puerto Rico where I'll only have to compete against brown people"
Weetabix: "I feel like this is a song that every girl can relate to"... not girls who spontaneously hurl when they hear country music
Pie: she looks like she has fake hair
Weetabix: She's got fake everything
Weetabix: fake tan, wig, etc… sadly, not a fake voice
Weetabix: I'm not impressed, especially not after blind guy
Pie: no, no kidding. you're no blind guy, blondie.
Weetabix: I'm not sure how I feel about her belt situation
Pie: is it a situation?
Weetabix: there's a lot of Michael's Craft Store hot glued to that belt
Weetabix: I don't know, she's very cute, but I actually liked Rashida Jones better
Pie: yeah, GO RASHIDA!
Weetabix: Talk about the belt, Ione Skye!
Weetabix: Best outfit, Paula? Really? REALLY!?
Pie: it's PAULA. how are you surprised?
Weetabix: Actually, I think if I went on AI, I would be very sad if Paula liked my outfit.
Weetabix: also, Paula is basically wearing the same thing, only in teal.
Weetabix: Do you think Simon has pec implants?
Weetabix: His nipples are always erect, and I believe that's a side effect
Pie: you are kidding
Pie: that would be awesome. that would make me happy.
Weetabix: they have to cut the nerve that controls the nipple erection thing
Weetabix: that's why some people with implants end up with cross-eyed nipples
Pie: this girl is like a little bridesmaid.
Weetabix: she really is

Pie: so they found someone in Puerto Rico!
Weetabix: Jorge has a very cute lover
Weetabix: lots of Elton John tonight
Pie: he has Expressive Eyebrows.
Weetabix: I suspect America will not be beguiled by them
Pie: god this wine is fucking good
Pie: Alpha Omega winery in the Napa Valley
Weetabix: I do enjoy them!
Weetabix: they have a new dessert one that I really like
Weetabix: but it's like, a million dollars for a very small bottle
Pie: he is slightly unfortunate looking.. he scares me with his saying things into the microphone earnestly
Weetabix: (no, it's $45 but still, when you drink as much wine as we do, you need to think in bulk)
Weetabix: he is somewhat intense
Weetabix: and also, BABALOO!
Weetabix: I'm not so much with Jorge, but yes, the eyebrows are impressive
Pie: yes, not so much. are we done yet? I have PAPERS TO GRADE.
Weetabix: God, I hope so
Pie: perhaps I should not grade papers drunk.
Weetabix: This has gone on so long! This is why we don't Weetapidol until the Top 12
Weetabix: You missed Paula saying that she wanted to squeeze him
Pie: commercials… I caught up and there are commericals
Weetabix: and you missed Ione Sky saying "bloob"
Pie: blooooooooooooooooooob
Weetabix: are you so drunk you can no longer feel your face?
Pie: YES
Pie: WOO!
Pie: oh god I do not give a shit
Pie: who is next?
Weetabix: Latoya London Part Two
Pie: this wine is so good
Weetabix: which AO is it?
Pie: I'm sorry even hammered I can appreciate this wine
Pie: it is a merlot, and it is fabulous

Pie: wow, how is that a name?
Weetabix: It sounds like a Rapper name
Pie: I have heard of Lil' Rounds
Pie: I have heard she is good.
Weetabix: is this the Twitter?
oh her kids are ADORABLE
Pie: no, I have just heard the Word on the Street
Weetabix: that's a fabulous dress
Weetabix: I enjoy Lil Rounds
Pie: she can fucking sing
Weetabix: I would buy this album
Pie: she? can fucking sing.
Pie: she can! fucking sing.
Weetabix: and also, has lovely arms
Pie: I might have to put her way up in my Idol pool.
Pie: oh my god are we finally fucking done?
Weetabix: She is amazing
Pie: srsly.
Weetabix: yes, we must be
Pie: she is good.
Pie: Lil' Rounds is a lil' bit awesome.
Weetabix: Simon likes her
Weetabix: "Brilliant!"
Weetabix: You know, I'm starting to get tired of the "You're one of the best on American Idol ever" comments
Weetabix: it's like the kiss of death
Pie: my browser crashed
Pie: I was going to say something
Pie: I forget what
Weetabix: something like "I'm drunk" or "I love Lil Rounds"
Pie: yes!

Weetabix: predictions?
Pie: either one of those or both. I vote for Lil' Rounds and Joey McIntyre
Weetabix: There's three, I believe… I hope
Pie: and the Plain Black T's guy
Weetabix: I think it's going to be Blind Guy, Lil' Rounds and Rashida
Weetabix: sadly, not my niece Abby's doppelganger
Pie: that would work too. okay! I need to go grade more papers.