Friday, March 27, 2009

Top 10: Harold, Kumar, & A Man Named "Matt"

Pie: They are putting the contestants’ heads on a giant screen… Anoop looks terrified
Weetabix: Who is the guy with the giant mole on his forehead!?
it's like a bullseye
I've decided that
Pie: excellent decision
Weetabix: by the way, I'm not spoiled as to who went home tonight, are you?
Pie: no, I am not!
Weetabix: awesome, so it will be as though we are watching it yesterday!
Pie: yes! as if we have gone back in time!

Pie: THIS... is a-MERICANIDOL. Rroo rooo!
I find the Rroo rooo and the a-MERICANDOL very comforting.
Weetabix: I do as well! In the Ammmeeeerican national anthem, it should be played before the "Oh Say can you See?
Pie: they are doing the weird judge introductions
Simon looks excited about them and Paula is wearing a fucking tutu, I love her!
Weetabix: Oh shit, I missed the tutu… oh she really is
I would like to tell our readers that you have a pug perched on your shoulder like a parrot.
Weetabix: it is true
Pie: that tutu is fantastic. I want to buy it and wear it.
Weetabix: Alexis really did look like Dolly Parton
Pie: so tonight is Motown night
Weetabix: hence the Barry Gordy
Pie: or as I prefer to call it, MO-town.
Weetabix: as so it should be
Pie: okay, I don't actually call it that.
Weetabix: ah, teal is a good color for Randy
Pie: stripes are not
Weetabix: much better than the coat of many colors that he normally wears
Pie: I love Paula's necklace. she looks so normal from the waist up! and then down below is the tulle explosion. LOVE HER.
Weetabix: and Paula just tried hitting on Ryan, in a lame attempt at confirming his heterosexuality
she's got something hanging out of her dress, I want to point out
Pie: yeah, considering he flirts with Simon 100x more, it's not really working
Weetabix: well, if I had the choice of that dias, I would flirt with Simon too. The nipples defy you to not flirt with them.
Pie: Hee! I love Paula's dress. I want to go back in time and wear that at my wedding. What could people say? NOTHING. I AM THE BRIDE.
Weetabix: Nor would we have.
Pie: who the hell is that scruffy guy in the tie? is he one of the Interchangeable White Guys?
Weetabix: yes, Cap'n Random Whitey

Weetabix: I'm grooving on the B-roll song here
Pie: now we have the history of Motown! or as we like to call it, filler.
or I guess a musical history education for the youngn's.
Weetabix: all they have to say is "The soundtrack for Dirty Dancing" and everyone would go "ooooohhhhhh"
Pie: well everyone in our generation would.
man, fucking great soundtrack, though… as was Part 2 of that soundtrack
Weetabix: it really was. Also, somewhat an enjoyable movie, if only for the .005 seconds of Patrick Swazye's penis
Pie: now I want someone to get confused and sing "She's Like the Wind"
Weetabix: ha! that would make my year
Pie: one of the Disposable White Guys should do it
Weetabix: by the way, that was the song for my Junior Girl's dance, which was our version of "Sadie Hawkins", only it was just for the junior year
Pie: very cute… did you have to tell boys they were like the wind through your tree?
Weetabix: I seem to remember there was a kerfluffle, it was supposed to be something that didn't suck, and then at the last minute, one popular girl decided that she didn't like whatever song and told the DJ it was something different. It was a scandal, actually.
Pie: wait, did you just say "She's Like The Wind" SUCKED?
I don't know you.
Weetabix: I actually didn't like the song back then. I was very alternative and would have preferred something by the Cure. Now I have changed my opinion and enjoy She's Like The Wind"
Pie: that’s a relief.
Lil Rounds is having a moment with Barry Gordy... I like that he means something to her. so often I get this idea that the kids don't know who the mentors are. Like when they had Lulu.
Weetabix: Trivia: Barry Gordy is the father of one of Diana Ross' children
Pie: oooh! I did not know that!
my sister used to babysit for Diana Ross's kids
Weetabix: it wasn't discovered until very late in her life. Barry was married during her birth, Diana was very young
Pie: ooooh. quelle old-timey scandale!


MATT GIRAUD
“Let’s Get It On”

Pie: “Matt.” who is "Matt"? oh, scruffy guy!
Weetabix: Bullseye!!!
Pie: "Let's Get It On"… oh, of fucking course!
Weetabix: Remember that guy Matt that one time who always looked like a young version of Chef Paul Prudhomme?
Pie: no?
Weetabix: "that one time" = a previous season
Pie: I got that part!
Weetabix: Taylor's season, maybe?
Pie: oh here he goes! okay, White Guy! go!
I like that he can play the piano and has diamonds on his shirt
Weetabix: I think I'm going to have to evict the pug-parrot off my shoulder. She's so hot, I'm getting a little sweaty.
Pie: hey, he's not bad! where's he been?
Weetabix: I like his falsetto
Pie: and he is fondling the microphone and now getting up. I enjoy this!
Weetabix: And the Idolettes are back!
Pie: showmanship!
Weetabix: Agreed. This is the first time I haven't wanted to hate him
also, he's got a definite penis bulge
Pie: this is the first time I think I might actually remember him in five minutes
Weetabix: seriously, do you see that?
(It should be noted that Pie was dancing in her chair)
Pie: Paula does!
Weetabix: She's smiling like "Yeah, Imma gonna tap that"
Pie: yeah, I'm seeing it! I like his little outfit. and his little rendition.
Weetabix: Agreed. That was fanciful and nice!
Pie: I don't know if I'd go as far as "tapping" anything. but yes! "fanciful and nice"!

Pie: why is Randy wearing a Girl Scout friendship bead necklace?
Weetabix: I like Ione Skye's hair tonight
Pie: Kara wants to tap that
Weetabix: oh hell yeah she does, even though her shirt looks like a kindergarten teacher's art smock.
Pie: now Kara is going to say her useless crap
her "look at me! I am a judge!"
Weetabix: I think I need some wine
at the commercial break, I'm going for wine
Pie: YES! I need some MORE WINE. I am going to get MORE WINE.
Weetabix: you keep tipping your glass and it makes me want wine… power of suggestion!
Pie: Paula said something INSIGHTFUL. she said he respected the melody and didn't get all crazy.
Weetabix: who was smiling girl in the audience?
Pie: his relation of some type?
Weetabix: Simon likes it!
Pie: Simon liked this song too and has extra-flat hair.
Weetabix: Weird, Simon called him a front runner!
Pie: he is a front-runner! well okay then!
Weetabix: I don't know that I would have gone that far there.
fanciful and nice!!
Pie: I will try very hard to remember his name… “Matt.”
Weetabix: Matt! Aka Bullseye
Pie: not holding up a finger
Weetabix: and for that he earns my respect
Pie: boy I sure hope he isn't already eliminated
Weetabix: WINE BREAK!!!!
Pie: BREAK! WINE!
Weetabix: What is your wine?
Pie: I am drinking Viogner from the five-cent sale at BevMo
Weetabix: lovely!
Pie: what are you drinking?
Weetabix: I'm drinking a Pacific Rim Sweet Reisling 2007, which I found in my wine cooler and don't remember buying
Pie: sounds tasty!
Weetabix: it's adequate… and hopefully will pair well with this chunk of red velvet cake
Pie: mmm, speaking of my wedding. red velvet cake. yum
Weetabix: mmmm
that was seriously the best red velvet cake ever


KRIS ALLEN
“How Sweet It Is”
Pie: it's Castrochuleta!
Weetabix: wow, Smokey Robinson has amazing eyes
Pie: wow, he really does have amazing eyes

Pie: Kris is wearing a military shirt and making dumb faces that teenage girls who are into Twilight might enjoy
Weetabix: so, Maybe this is my inherent dislike of Jason Mraz, but he hadn't even sung more than four words and I was all "eeuw"
Pie: hee. Jason Mraz! he's got the poison, Kris Allen's got the remedy, baby.
Weetabix: this is the song of dentist offices
Pie: this is perfectly pleasant. I want someone to sing one of these songs in cracked-out fashion.
Weetabix: but I see you're enjoying this greatly
Pie: I am enjoying this because I've had wine. THIS is forgettable. "Matt."
Weetabix: are they both named Matt? Castrochuleta and Bullseye?
no, he's Kris! don't play me, Mopie
Pie: I was saying "Matt" because I was showing off my remembering. I remember "Matt"
Weetabix: heee!

Pie: they put KRIS' FRIENDS on the screen… that is the wrong possessive
it should say “KRIS'S”
Weetabix: ah yes, grammatical error again. Is it making your teeth itch, that they keep repeating it?
Pie: the only names that do not take the 'S are JESUS and MOSES
GRAMMAR FACT OF THE DAY
isn't that why people read this blog? for the grammar?
Weetabix: yes, that's the only reason

Pie: Ione says: "you didn't do Marvin Gaye, you didn't go James Taylor, you did Kris! you did sucky inferior boring version!"
oh no wait, she thinks he did everything right
Weetabix: Paula's wig has lovely highlights tonight
Pie: hee.
Simon liked it, Paula liked it, yaaaawn.
Weetabix: I agree with Simon, to be a star you DO have to be a little conceited
Pie: that's true, DAUGHTRY has DAUGHTRY tattooed giantly across his back. and is conceited.
Carrie Undewood apparently is a mega stuck up beyotch now, but she's got some stage presence that she never even sniffed at when she was on the show
Weetabix: maybe she got a stylist or something? or the equivalent of the Michael Caine role in "Miss Congeniality"?
which is, by the way, a delightful and very fluffy movie.
Pie: I was just looking up to see if Daughtry had left his wife yet. he has not! that means I respect him.
Weetabix: I'm surprised!
Pie: me too! she was not "Hollywood pretty"… I kept thinking he would get famous and leave her.
Weetabix: before you respect him, might I remind you that he had DAUGHTRY tattooed on his back
Pie: hee. well there's that.


Pie: ooh this is kind of exciting
we have to pay attention to when it starts again since we are letting the commercials play
right now is a car commercial
we just had some local news
Weetabix: I've got a local news one
now a Sprint commercial
Pie: this car ad is saying "California"a lot
the limited edition California Jetta.
now a pirate ship ad.
Weetabix: you have better ads
Pie: hee. we have different ads!
this is "buy a Volkswagen limited-editon California pirate ship."
Weetabix: Ok, so now we have a commercial for a local clinic (mine, by the way) which features Ted, the brother-in-law from "Big Love"
Pie: ooh. mine is a woman critiquing her kid's clothing choices on a little video screen
Weetabix: every time he talks to me, I think "Why would I trust you? You screwed over your polygamous brother-in-law!"
Pie: now Death is wandering through a parking garage
no spoilers! I am half a season behind!
Weetabix: oh, I'm sorry
it's not that big of a spoiler, though
Pie: it's okay, we will just not say more!
Weetabix: ok
Pie: now Death is wandering through a parking garage
Weetabix: Papa Murphy's
Pie: now another car commercial. Toyota.
wow, these are long fucking commercials.


SCOTT McINTYRE
“You Can’t Hurry Love”

Weetabix: blind guy! Ben from Big Love!
Pie: oh yeah! I can see that!
Weetabix: it all comes back to Big Love
and he gets a Ryan Raps!
Pie: he is wearing pink pants. are the costumers fucking with him?
Weetabix: I don't like the paisley shirt with brown striped jacket
Pie: "let's put the blind guy in pink pants! hahaha!"
Weetabix: "Nooo, you look AWESOME Scott!"
Pie: what is the song?
Weetabix: You Can't Hurry Love, which might just be awesome
Pie: excellent
Weetabix: oh Scott, you won't be single for long
Pie: maybe he needs to wear jeans though.
Weetabix: wow, seriously, I'm mesmerized by Smokey's eyes
Pie: they are amazing
Weetabix: I think love is blind, Mo, even to pink pants
Pie: touche!
Weetabix: the Idolettes are standing by his piano like torchsong singers… I love that
Pie: this is pretty! again, I enjoy Scott!
Weetabix: and I'm very happy that middle Idolette has gotten a better bra finally!
it's only taken her three seasons
Pie: now fast! I am snapping!
Weetabix: this is enjoyable!
Pie: this is very good... I enjoy this. why do people not like Scott as much as they like "Matt" and that other dude?
Weetabix: Oooh, the Idolettes have amazing shoes
I don't know. Maybe it's because he's handicapable and they don't want to have sex with him?
I would like to have the sex.
Pie: I like how Paula is backpedaling on the "stand up" thing with "well you had people STAND NEAR YOU so that was good!"
Weetabix: Wait, Paula is saying that having the singers standing by him, it....what?
She didn't compliment his singing, but rather having the singers stand by him?
Pie: I think it was her way of saying she was wrong about "don't sit at the piano"
Simon did not like it!
Weetabix: I agree with Simon that he's choosing the wrong song
Pie: that other dude is agreeing with Simon. "Randy"
Weetabix: heh, Randy said "nob"
Pie: I suddenly feel that Randy is sexually attractive… help me
Weetabix: he's wearing a camp friendship necklace, Pie
Pie: yes. but he has sexy lips.
Weetabix: Ione Skye should wear sunscreen, as she's prematurely aging from all that tanning
seriously, she's trying SO hard and it's just painful
Pie: I know. I wonder how other people feel about her… maybe people will comment.
Weetabix: poor Scott… is that Alexis in the audience?
Pie: is it? I didn't see!
Weetabix: there's a very tatted blonde girl wearing a teal prom dress… is teal back in?
Pie: Paula said "I have something for Simon" and then went under the desk. Paula, you might want to think about that. this is family television.
Weetabix: Ryan said "crowns" instead of "cray-ons"
Pie: he sure did. it is NOT PRONOUNCED "crowns"
Weetabix: oooh, Ryan called out the pink!
Pie: Scott is apologizing for the pink pants! that is charming.
Weetabix: it's adorable!
Pie: "they didn't tell me!"



MEGAN JOY
"Once In My Life"

Weetabix: Oh my god, this girl… I hate her voice
Pie: I think her voice is cracked out and weird. it is not "refreshing," Smokey Robinson.
Weetabix: "you are so different"! "you are on crack!"
Pie: she is "original"
Weetabix: I hate her whole "Huh, I guess I'm unique" comment
oh, that was the girl I thought was Alexis
she was inexplicably in the audience earlier

Pie: she looks so awkward… what is she doing with her body?
Weetabix: I don't get her
Pie: what is she doing with her arm?
Weetabix: I like different but I don't get her
Pie: Fantasia was different, but I loved Fantasia… I do not like Megan
Weetabix: I have to say, I really like the look
Pie: she looks AWESOME
Weetabix: she doesn't have a good stage presence
she looks very uncomfortable
Pie: and yet she... yes, looks so uncomfortable
Weetabix: I'm stunned that she got into the top... whatever we are at right now
"neeeeds meeeeeeeeuhg" It's painful
Pie: love the hair, the necklace, the dress, the shoes.
and yet she looks like she's about to burst into awkward tears.
Weetabix: her "meeeeeeughghg" is making me want to punch someone
Pie: wait, is she wearing shoes?
Weetabix: she's wearing flats… that are nude colored… it's strange
Pie: "trainwreck"! thank you, Randy.
Weetabix: Randy called it a trainwreck
that's an apt description
Pie: that was so horrible.
and incidentally I am jealous of your cake.
Weetabix: it's mediocre, if that helps appease your jealousy
I should have gone with my instinct and made cupcakes, but I got lazy in the final steps
Pie: Kara talks a lot. she says many words.
Weetabix: and the words don't actually say anything
Pie: Simon hates Megan

ANOOP DESAI
“Hey Baby Baby”

Weetabix: I don't think I've ever heard this song.
Pie: Is this a Smokey Robinson song?
Weetabix: Oh I love this song! Anoop might rock this.
Pie: Smokey seems to love him.
Weetabix: Anoop was very Smokey-esque when he did the falsetto.
Pie: He is sitting on the stairs and looking earnest.
Weetabix: And mildly collegiate
Pie: It's that weird-ass jacket.
Weetabix: It's like Members Only, but there's shinyness.... yeah, I'd do him.
Pie: I would not go that far. The jacket bothers me too much.
Weetabix: If you lost the jacket, though, he's all Harold and Kumar there. That's what it all comes down to. The guy who plays Kumar and is now on House. He's hot.
Pie: His name is Kal Penn.
Weetabix: Marry fuck or kill: Harold, Kumar, or Neil Patrick Harris.
Pie: That's tough! But NPH is gay and probably would not be into having sex. So... marry NPH... fuck Harold... kill Kumar.
Weetabix: Really? I'm stunned.
Pie: Harold's hot.
Weetabix: He's hot, I'm just saying. Kumar is where it's at.

Pie: Ione thinks it's the most beautiful song ever.
Weetabix: I wouldn't say it's the most beautiful song ever written, Ione Skye. I mean... AVE MARIA?
Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: Also, MMM BOP?!?
Pie: HAHAHA! I cannot convey in type how hard I am laughing at “Mmm Bop.” It is in fact an awesome song, too.
Weetabix: Is it just me, or is Paula's makeup taking on this Kabuki-esque thing?
Pie: I have paused to observe the makeup... it is just you.
Weetabix: I don't see your Randy attraction. I don't see it.
Pie: He has good lips.
Weetabix: I'm watching the lips. I just don't see it.
Pie: I'm just saying, it's a momentary beerwinegoggles effect.
Weetabix: So like the Castrochuleta thing.
Pie: Don't remind me of that.


MICHAEL SARVER
“Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”

Pie: After the break is Matt Sarver. Is that different from “Matt”?
Weetabix: Yes, because his name is Mike.
Pie: Shit, I’ve lost it already. Now I’m taking off my bra.
Weetabix: I missed that about having you here. You’d take off your bra when you were drunk.
Pie: That does happen. Smokey Robinson does not look as though he enjoys this man.
Weetabix: Smokey Robinson feels America’s pain.
Pie: Smokey Robinson does not feel as though he did a good job. That’s the first one Smokey Robinson has criticized. Bad sign, kids.
Weetabix: Michael is from Texas. That’s all we need to know.
Pie: This guy bores me, really.
Weetabix: Yeah, I’m already bored.
Pie: I mean, the song is fine but it’s like…zzzzzzzz (bonk). Who’s that other guy, that other guy with the big shoulders? His name might have been Matt or something?
Weetabix: No, it was this guy.
Pie: No, a few seasons ago. He hosted the finale. He looked kind of like this guy? Matt something?
Weetabix: Matt Rogers. That’s the guy I was talking about who looked like Chef Paul Prudhomme.
Pie: So this guy, who is not Matt, who looks like Matt, but is not the Matt who was on earlier in the show.
Weetabix: I can’t type all that because it was like Who’s on First.
Pie: That’s exactly why you SHOULD type it.

Pie: Paula didn’t like it. Paula’s wearing sparkly things.
Weetabix: She said she needs to be dominated. Oh! Today, I was taking a nap and was thinking in those few minutes between awake and asleep and realized that my perfect new career would be to become a dominatrix.
Pie: You would be perfect at that. Yes, you should be a dominatrix.
Weetabix: You wouldn’t have to have sex or anything.
Pie: He does have pretty eyes, this mister somebody. Mike says he gave 110 percent? Then we already know that it’s not enough and you should go. I’m predicting him to go.
Weetabix: There are other people yet to come.
Pie: I don’t think it’s as bad as these judges are saying, actually. I mean, it was boring, but it wasn’t terrible.
Weetabix: Megan Joy was horrible.
Pie: That’s true. Megan Joy should go… but I don’t think she will go because this guy’s a white guy and there’s lots of white guys, but Megan is a pretty blonde girl and they just booted off a pretty blonde girl.
Weetabix: the demographic theory.
Pie: Ione Skye has pretty eyes. I think the judges like Mike as a person. They seem to be smiling and feeling warmly toward him. That’s nice, that they honestly like him.

LIL ROUNDS
"Heatwave"

Weetabix: oh, Lil seems so excited!
Pie: she sure does!
Weetabix: and she's wearing awesome shoes in the Smokey bit
Pie: I like her haircut too
Weetabix: it's very cute!
Pie: she is talking about the black experience in Motown with Smokey Robinson.. that's so cool.
oh my god and it made Smokey Robinson feel like he's left a legacy.
Weetabix: aw, she was crying!
Pie: I am all choked up!
Weetabix: that's so awesome!
Pie: she's doing it for Aretha and Diana Ross!
Weetabix: oooh, look at her awesome look!
Pie: she is wearing a BUSTED wig. where is her cute short hair?
Weetabix: totally Dreamgirls! she was trying to imbue the whole Motown vibe
Pie: she is so Top 3
Weetabix: oh definitely
Pie: I mean my demographic theory might be BS, but she's so different from the endless Parade of White Guy we've had so far
Weetabix: yes, she stands out, whereas we can't keep Bullseye apart from Michael from Castrochuleta
Pie: exactly! one of those is "Matt" but WHICH ONE?
I don't count Blind Guy in the pack because while he's white, he doesn't KNOW he's white
Pie: ha!
Weetabix: sorry, that was the wine talking
Pie: I totes LOL'd.
Weetabix: I watched! LOL confirmed
Pie: I am stlll LOLing… it's like how he dosn't know his pants are pink
Weetabix: should Randy be calling the contestants "baby"
Pie: Randy always does... baby or dawg
Weetabix: it seems overly intimate all of the sudden
ah. I hadn't noticed. It was the wines.
Pie: her wig. is. BUS. TED.
Weetabix: yeah, her wig was dug out of the attic or something.
Pie: the dress is cool
Weetabix: I do enjoy the hombre fringe
Pie: I didn't think it was amazingly good but I thought it was solid. whatever, Ione.
oh, Ione is STILL TALKING.
because she i always talking talking talking.
Weetabix: No, I can follow Ione's train of thought vis a vis the song choice. I would have thought Lil would have gone Diana Ross
Pie: I agree with Paula's sparkly round ring.
Weetabix: you just want to steal her tutu
Pie: and her ring.
if someone on Etsy can make me that tutu, I will pay them five hundred dollars.
Weetabix: Simon agrees with me!
Pie: I do agree that she did not have a Moment, but could have had one.
Weetabix: go on Etsy whateveritscalled, where you ask for a bid on a tutu
make sure that you ask for one that is not tied, but rather sewn
the tied ones are awful, the sewn ones are beautiful
I made and wore a tutu in high school. They aren't hard to make
Pie: I will wear it everywhere.
Weetabix: if I make you one, will you pay me $5000?
Pie: I sadly do not have $5000 for a tutu.
Weetabix: one too many zeros… but I'll take $5000
or $500
or I'll be your dominatrix
Pie: niiiice.
Weetabix: see, it's a bargain when you do the math


ADAM LAMBERT
“Tracks of My Tears”

Pie: ADAM LAMBERT, dressed like ELVIS, which I ENJOY
is this where we link to the Wicked video where Adam did an awesome Fiyero?
Weetabix: indeed
Pie: my favorite part is "only because dust is what we come to" and I enjoyed his interpretation.

Weetabix: The Dunkelman has become a square
oooh, Adam's not wearing socks! I really do love Adam
Pie: Adam makes me feel alive, sexually
Weetabix: and I love this song!
Pie: what song? I missed it!
Weetabix: Tracks of my tears
Pie: oooOoooooh… that is a Smokey Robinson song! as I believe Smokey is aware.
Weetabix: yes! that is what they've said!
Pie: Adam is all earnest about doing the song justice. I love you, Adam.
Weetabix: this is very lovely, but also, sort of like "more than words" with the guitar
Pie: glazed pompadour, eh? okay.
Weetabix: I enjoy the man who is doing nothing other than playing the box he is sitting on
that might be a euphemism
Pie: I noticed him too! he's like, well, I will play this chair, then.
nice falsetto! he is versatile, this Adam
Weetabix: this is lovely, a total apology for last week’s Morrison ejaculation
Pie: now Ian has drunkenly collapsed on me
Weetabix: oh, that's not what it looks like he's doing
Pie: and lovely ending!
Weetabix: that was lovely
Pie: Smokey jut gave him a standing ovation… Kara too! wow.
Weetabix: yeah, but then Kara totally failed to commit by saying "one of the best performances... OF THE NIGHT"
Pie: Kara also claimed that was six words…. that was eight words, Kara.
I can remember “Matt” and also I can count.
Weetabix: well, way to totally not make any real statement
Pie: Simon is like fuck you, I'll say it!
Weetabix: five bucks that the kid with the scarf clapping like a drama queen is Adam's Lovah.
Pie: he is going to wiiiiiin
Weetabix: I really think he has the X Factor, quite honestly
he's got that thing that we all recognized in Chris Daughtry
Pie: yeah, I agree
Weetabix: like he's just unpredictable enough that you really don't know what he's going to do next, but you just know that he's going to deliver


DANNY GOKEY
"Get Ready"

Pie: oh man, having to follow Adam...
Weetabix: and be another white guy
who couldn't be arsed to shave for Smokey Robinson
Pie: we just laughed at Danny saying Smokey had "been in the industry longer than I have"
um, considering he's been a fucking LEGEND longer than you've been alive... yes.
Weetabix: ha! gee, ya think?
Pie: Ian says "F F F"… he does not like this
Weetabix: I'll bet that Danny wasn't even alive when ABC did "When Smokey Sings"
Pie: I like Danny, he reminds me of Ted from How I Met Your Mother
Weetabix: oh my god, he totally does!
he's Ted Mosby, Architect, only he's Ted Mosby, Wannabe Star
I'll bet he spends the same amount of time on his hair, too

Weetabix: I do like his shirt
Pie: well maybe Adam peaked too soon, and Danny is yet to peak still.
Weetabix: I don't think Danny has a peak in him
Pie: that's what she said!
Weetabix: I hope Adam didn't peak too soon, but you're right, there is a danger there
however, sometimes the trick is in being not fantastic but just mediocre enough not to be the worst
Pie: well I had the exact same worry with Cookie, and we all saw how that worked out
Weetabix: I'm officially wined up, as it's now hard to hold up my head
Pie: Ian was just asking why, if we’d all had wine, he was "the only one in a pile"… now you are in a pile!
Weetabix: yes, it is as though I have melted, like the Wicked witch

ALLISON IRAHETA
"Papa Was A Rolling Stone"

Weetabix: ALLISON
Pie: ALLISON IRAHETA, "Papa Was A Rolling Stone"
Weetabix: PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE
Pie: well we have certainly informed people about this song
Weetabix: we're adding value

Weetabix: Allison is so cute… I hope she does well. I forgot she existed.
Pie: me too! what is that, three girls in this whole thing? how sad.
Weetabix: wouldn't you pick a song you totally knew by heart?
Pie: she's got a great smoky Motown voice!
Weetabix: why pick a song that you would have a problem with, lyric wise?
I like her leggings/tights… that whole situation there
Pie: I am liking her a lot right now!
Weetabix: yes, she's doing very well and her ensemble is cute!
Pie: wooooo Allison!! Ian says "that was good"
Weetabix: that was, I have to say, very enjoyable
definitely the best performance from Allison that I've seen
Pie: I do not yet feel compelled to download anything from iTunes, but that came close.
Weetabix: also, she's so cute… and somehow, reminds me of Amy Sedaris. that might be the wine.
but there's something about her little Troll baby face that is totally Amy Sedaris
Pie: Kara just had an orgasm I think… TMI, Kara.
Weetabix: oh my god, Simon wrote on Paula's face! Hilarious!
Pie: hee. they flirt so much.
Weetabix: Sorry, that's the best thing I've ever seen on AI!
Pie: yay Allison! go Allison!
Weetabix: although the McBeaver was still pretty good
Pie: as was Ryan's foot fetish, and anything Daughtry ever did
Weetabix: that's true, the foot fetish is always enjoyable

RECAP/PREDICTIONS
Pie: there was “Matt”
Weetabix: Bullseye… who was pretty good… Castrochuleta
Pie: Castrochuleta who bored me
Weetabix: whose song I loathe
Pie: Scott who wore pink pants
Weetabix: Scott Blindey MacIntyre… Megan Joy who was so painfully horrible that I beg America to put her out of her misery
Pie: DITTO, AMERICA!
Weetabix: Anoop, who I enjoyed quite a bit
Pie: Kumar. America, vote in a Harold! I need a hot Asian guy.
Weetabix: I agree! We need a Harold! Some year we'll have a Harold. I have hope. Maybe Vince Chao will try for AI.
Pie: ONE CAN ONLY DREAM. I would vote until my fingers bled for Vince Chao.
Weetabix: oh hell's yes

Pie: Matt Rogers, who I think is my pick to get eliminated… Lil Rounds…
Weetabix: Adam, who was lovely as usual*
*Except for last week
Weetabix: Danny, whom you liked and I was "meh"
Weetabix: and Allison who was awesome
Pie: yes!
Pie: Ian is watching the recap. of Adam: "he was the only one who changed the arrangement at all. is everyone else too dumb?"
Weetabix: yes, Een, everyone else is too dumb
Pie: so should we look and see who left?
I am betting Matt Rogers, whose name is actually Michael Sarver, went home.
Weetabix: let's look! Who got laminated?!?!
Pie: okay! find out!
Weetabix: I'm looking
Pie: I am excited. this is instant gratification.
Weetabix: the bottom three was all white guys and Michael Sarver went home
Pie: I WIN!
Weetabix: wow, sucks to be a white guy in American Idol! and buhbye, Texas!
Pie: Weetapidol out!

4 Comments:

Blogger Martha said...

I wasn't crazy about having an additional judge but I actually like some of Kara's comments and I think it's forced Paula to up the ante and actually give good constructive criticism, too. And, Adam, is the BOMB! I LOVED him this week and wish that AI would put that performance on iTunes rather than the studio version. I am REALLY bummed about that. I actually didn't hate his "Ring of Fire" last week. Whatev. I hope he wins, even though I picked Lil to win. I figure it seems to alternate boy/girl each year (am I right?) and that a girl has to win this year...

7:35 PM  
Blogger mo pie said...

Well Paula DOES seem more coherent this year.. you have a point!

I love Adam.. I don't think I hated "Ring of Fire" either! I hope he wins too. I don't think it's boy girl. I think it's someone EITHER of an opposite gender or a different race... let me see.. it was...

Kelly
Ruben (opposite gender, different race)
Fantasia (opposite gender)
Carrie (different race)
Taylor (opposite gender)
Jordin (opposite gender, difference race)
Cookie (opposite gender, different race)

Hmm... I guess you're right. But the thing is, of the top 10, 6 of them were white guys, and 7 of them were guys. The odds are you'll have a guy this year. The odds are this will be the year that bucks the trend!

10:05 PM  
Blogger Martha said...

I really thought Lil was going to be an excellent contender but I've been disappointed by her performances. I hope she pulls something fabulous out this week. I enjoy this show way more than I should! ;-) I just can't wait to see what Adam will do this week!

7:14 PM  
Blogger Shmuel said...

"Pie: the only names that do not take the 'S are JESUS and MOSES
GRAMMAR FACT OF THE DAY"

(1) This is a matter of style, not grammar.
(2) No authority I know of claims Jesus and Moses are the sole exceptions. Even Strunk and White (who come closest to this) cite Jesus, Moses, and Isis as EXAMPLES of ancient proper names that are exceptions to the rule.
(3) There is no universal ruling on this. Kris' and Kris's are equally valid, as long as one is consistent. See Chicago Manual of Style, 15th ed., 7.23.

6:02 AM  

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