Top 4: Results and Pool Standings

Weet: Oooooh, did you see that there were revisions to the Pool Standings? That was my fault, an error in the fancy spreadsheet that I created to track scores (and also, eliminate potential errors...doh!) so many of you actually have more points than originally reported. Go you!

This here is the placeholder for tonight's results show in which we will most undoubtedly be saying goodbye to Castro's stupid kissy faces. Feel free to post your shock and awe here!

Pie: I'm now taking over this post to update the standings! Kelly S., who I'm starting to believe is psychic, was the only one who put Jason Castro in fourth place, who got a perfect score of 13 points this week, thus continuing her reign of dominance. Wendi and I put him in fifth, and Shmuel put him in third, giving all of us 12 points. The Weetapidol hive mind had him in sixth, as did too many of you to name. The new standings (with correct math, hopefully!) is here:

109 points: Kelly S.
100 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind
99 points: Shmuel and Mo Pie
98 points: Wendi
97 points: Xaan, Kim
96 points: Jake, Stacey
95 points: Eden
94 points: Shari, Carlywei, Pushca
93 points: Martha, Kelly M.
90 points: Weet
85 points: Gila

How did you do this week?

Top 4: Castrociousness

Pie: I have an image of Seacrest with weird hair… kind of triangularly pointy hair
Weetabix: what the hell! he's got Max Headroom hair… it's not a faux hawk… it's like a schlomohawk
Pie: Jason Castro was making an "I know this is ridiculous" face behind Seacrest
Weetabix: heee! by the way, the girl on the glass bridge is now a Jordin lookalike
Pie: interesting
Weetabix: top 4! how is that possible? what have you done America?
Pie: I know.. the season just whizzed on by, and here are Jason Castro and Syesha, for some reason
Weetabix: Randy is wearing something he pulled out of the backseat of a jumping car on Ventura
Pie: Syesha again looks fabulous. maybe she'll make it to the final two just to add some sex appeal.
Weetabix: wait, was that just Dawson? that was the Vanderbeek!
Pie: I love him now, after he was on How I Met Your Mother
Weetabix: I think he's creepy. And have always thought that… I dream of a David/David finale
Pie: I think the David/David final two is happening
Weetabix: this week, we're learning about this crazy thing the kids today are calling "rock and roll"
Pie: I am so thankful it is being explained to me
Weetabix: we should go to Cleveland and visit the hall of fame! ROAD TRIP!?! is there a presidential library there? I might be able to multitask… Grover Cleveland, perhaps?
Pie: my in-laws live there, and we were there and bored, and Ian still recommended that we not go. but if we can go see Grover Cleveland's presidential library, I'm in.
Weetabix: your in-laws are delightful people
Pie: I have always wanted to name a child Grover


Weetabix: DAVID COOK! Oh fuck me, he's doing Duran Duran
Pie: "HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF"
Weetabix: I just came, with the title
Pie: Hungry Like the Awesome!
Weetabix: I'm sad that Esteban isn't here, because this is his favorite 80's song, and then maybe he'd let me have sex with Dane Cook via threesome
Pie: would the threesome be you, Dane Cook, and David Cook?
Weetabix: Oh, fuck, that would be a serious guilty pleasure threesome
Pie: as opposed to the regular, staid, guilt-free threesomes you now enjoy
Weetabix: well, yes, my threesomes tend to be efficient fantasies with legitimate possibililities
Pie: There are too many letters in that word
Weetabix: ooooh, middle idolette? ROCKING that dress
Anyway, that was awesome
Pie: somehow, Cookie is selling the "doo doo doo doos"
Weetabix: his voice is amazing
Pie: yeah that kind of ruled McRuleyville.
Weetabix: and yet, Randy thinks it was just ok?
Pie: it left Paula with a "big appetite," and she enjoys "watching him grow." I think this might be a woman thing.
Weetabix: Sorry, Paula cannot come up with that line on her own.
Pie: she memorized it, I'm sure… or Nigel wrote it on her hand
Weetabix: I enjoy Dane Cook's dog tags
I thought I'd mention that
it's kind of like a wallet chain, but around your neck
I'm sensing a theme


SYESHA, "PROUD MARY"
Pie: coming up, Syesha smiles all pageanty!
Weetabix: Syesha is looking AMAZING
Pie: I am embracing the Syesha pageant vibe. she does look amazing, seriously.
Weetabix: see, that's the same color I was raving about a few weeks ago
kind of a champagne color? It's amazing for her
Again with the giant disk earring, though. She's keeping it real, dawg.
Pie: They are like glass peacock earrings
Weetabix: I think I'm going to enjoy this
Pie: Ian: "she's annoying."
Weetabix: I love this song
Pie: why is Syesha suddenly being charming?
Weetabix: especially with legs and stuff
and that dress
the legs=Simon will love it
Pie: her legs definitely measure up against Tina's... and that is quite a compliment
Weetabix: that it is. Tina's have more muscle tone, but Syesha's are up for the requirement.
Pie: and she's dancing.. that's brave
Weetabix: ooooh choreography!
Pie: it didn't quite work, but you can see she's slowly turning into a legitimate performer
Weetabix: yes, you would get winded
Pie: more "doo doo doo doos"… maybe that's what this "rock and roll" thing is all about
Weetabix: um, seriously, I'm getting a serious Beyonce vibe right now
Pie: nice job, Syesha!
she really has a star quality all of a sudden!
Weetabix: seriously, that was awesome!
her audience meter is through the roof!
You can actually see Simon smiling from behind
his cheeks were visible from behind.
Pie: Randy is correct that she's peaking at absolutely the right time, and Paula is right that she's turned into a star
Weetabix: Maybe it will be a Syesha/David finale?
Pie: that's what I said earlier.. scroll back, baby!
Weetabix: yes, she was snoozer until recently. And, I might add, she's totally fucking me over on the pool picks.
Pie: yeah, this is why Shmuel will own us all by the end
Weetabix: Interesting, the legs did not mean that Simon liked it! He called it a bad impression of Tina Turner!
Pie: hmm.
Weetabix: I have chagrin for thinking she'd not even hit the tour
Pie: I share your chagrin
Weetabix: we are chagrin twins
Pie: I also chare your shagrin
Weetabix: ok, drunky
Pie: hee. how did you know?
Weetabix: gee, psychic!


Pie: I have Ryan holding a head on a stick
Weetabix: that is creepy
Pie: is that... Castro?
Weetabix: some kind of voodoo Castro?
Pie: voodoo Castro!!
Weetabix: Carly!
Pie: juxtaposed with Castro to remind us WHO TO BLAME
Weetabix: STUPID CASTRO
Pie: you just played into it
Weetabix: Oh my god, I want to fucking smack him
Pie: CASTRO, "I SHOT THE SHERIFF" OH MY HELL
Weetabix: trying desperately to prove that he can do something other than a ballad
Pie: although really, could he ever have left before he got a chance to slaughter Bob Marley and swing his dreadlocks around?
Weetabix: jesus, his family has the Voodoo Castro
Pie: he isn't even singing. this sucks. you are NO BOB MARLEY SIR.
Weetabix: I must say, I really enjoy Bob Marley so maybe I'm biased, but this? SUCKS
like, if this guy were singing at a local bar, I'd still think he sucked.
when he sang "If I am guilty"... it went all kinds of off key
Pie: the guys in the band are playing the instruments and rolling their eyes simultaneously
"I can't believe my saxophone skills have come to this."
Weetabix: heee
Ricky Minor is looking into career counseling
Pie: poor Jason looks like a kicked puppy
Weetabix: Thank you Simon for calling out the Castrociousness
Pie: hahaha! and we have the title of this post, right there!
Weetabix: what does it say on Randy's sleeve?
Sincere? Sincrete? It's going to bug me.
Pie: I will try to get a peek
I think Castro may have taken a Xanax or something.. he looks positively cheerful to be told he sucks.


Weetabix: DAVID ARCHULETA, "STAND BY ME"
Pie: oh, Archibald.
it turns out he never really opens his eyes.
Weetabix: Baby Xander tries to convince us that when he was masturbating in his room, it was really him singing
Pie: thank you for that mental image. now *I* need a Xanax.
this is kind of good, though, don't you think?
Weetabix: Concentrate instead on the Middle Idolette, who so far, wins best cleavage of the night
yes, I don't mind this at all
also, I love this song
Pie: yes, she looks awesome, that middle Idolette
Weetabix: ooooh, weird falsetto thing at the end... interesting
Pie: I liked it, actually
Weetabix: It was unexpected. I enjoy watching him blossom into a young man. He's such a mini Timberlake
mark my words!
Pie: I am on Team Archibald right now
Weetabix: wait.. you're team Archie? Not TEAM COOK!?
Pie: no, I am on Team Cook for the win
Weetabix: noted
Pie: just Team Archibald for this particular song
Weetabix: do you think Paula harshed Syesha's mellow because they both are wearing metallic sequins?
Pie: I don't know, but Randy's sleeve? I think it's "Sin City"
Weetabix: hahaaaaa! Simon has not sated his lust for Castro's blood and takes another shot. LOVE IT!


DAVID COOK
Weetabix: I am enjoying Dane Cook's facial hair situation
Pie: Ian: "his hair is wrong. his facial hair, his top hair. it's all wrong."
Weetabix: IAN IS WRONG!
I will not hear of any more Dane Cook detraction
Pie: okay, Team Cook
Weetabix: except I have to say, I fucking HATE The Who… in fact, I make Esteban fast forward through the intro for CSI because I hate this song so much
Pie: Ian loves this song and says "he's doing a shitty job"
Weetabix: maybe he's making it his own
Pie: this is the theme song to CSI? that is BRILLIANT. he will get bonus votes from CSI viewers, and CSI is like one of the most popular shows!
Weetabix: All of the CSI's have Who songs in the intro
Pie: Ian: "I am not enjoying it."
I am reporting Ian's feelings because I don't know the song and have no feelings about it one way or the other
Weetabix: I love this version of the song
which is saying a LOT because I was braced to hate it
Pie: consider me as occupying the middle ground. now we've covered every part of the spectrum.
Weetabix: how did the performance make you feel as a person? As a music enjoyer? AS A WOMAN!?!
Pie: I was going to type how it made me feel as a woman, but I decided it was too obscene, even for this blog.
Weetabix: I will ponder that deeply in my heart


SYESHA "A Change is Going to Come"
Pie: wow, and again, she looks stunning
Weetabix: Syesha" I went home after the results show and cried my eyes out"... yeah, so did Brooke!
Pie: that dress is a-MAAAAAZING
Weetabix: ooooh, it sure is
Pie: and by "that dress" I mean "her breasts"
Weetabix: you know what it reminds me of? In the draping? The dress that Kiera Knightley wore in Atonement. Only, instead of green, it's tangerine.
yes, the peekaboo window for the boobies is helping her case right now
she should have saved them for next week, when Castro wasn't the obvious easy out
Pie: she is a contender, all of a sudden. how... how did that happen?!
Weetabix: her lips are very glittery
I think it's the boobs. She's the last one with boobs.
Pie: for the first time, I think, she deserves to be in the top four
Weetabix: I wasn't impressed by the song, though. I didn't care about it.
Concur with Randall... it was meh
Pie: I liked it... not as much as Paula, though, who is now in tears and making Syesha cry
nice moment, though
Weetabix: wow, no kidding. Over-emoting much, Paula?
Pie: and yet Simon agrees with Paula. WHERE ARE YOUR TEARS, SIMON?
Weetabix: I agree, though. She's definitely a contender
I could see her bumping Archuleta out
Pie: she sang a civil rights song.... well, fair enough. but boy she is going to get some votes out of that.
Weetabix: I love that Ryan asserted his authority there, plus also did a plug for Hell's Kitchen. That's pretty slick.


Weetabix: CASTRO "MR TAMBOURINE MAN"
Pie: JASON COOK. MANGLING BOB DYLAN
Weetabix: Oh my fucking hell.
OH my GOD!
Pie: he seems like a sweet kid, but he is out of his league, given what Syesha has brought to the table
Weetabix: He missed the words
how can you mess up those words?
Pie: hee. was it like "hey Mr. Tangerine Man"?
Weetabix: Mr Tangerine Man?
Pie: you said he messed up the lyrics.. I was speculating..
Weetabix: No, he did like "Will you uh uh uhmmmmm uh you?"
Pie: HUMOR!
Weetabix: sorry, sometimes I'm a little literal
he actually sounds better than he did in the first song
Pie: yeah it was better, just... he was outclassed
Weetabix: also, why the hell is Carly standing for that?
and they show Carly clapping anemically
Pie: to juxtapose "Do you miss Carly? If so DO NOT VOTE FOR JASON."
Weetabix: maybe they electrified her seat? Or took it away?
oooh, Simon got a little stern there. Yes Daddy.
Pie: Jason keeps mouthing "vote"
still, I can't see anyone else going home

DAVID ARCHULETA, "LOVE ME TENDER"
Weetabix: he's got an iPhone
Pie: he is perched on a stool in a very un-sexy way to sing his love song
Weetabix: oh, I don't know about Elvis, kid.
Pie: he has a pretty voice, that Archibald, actually
Weetabix: this performance, though, does not have me entranced
instead, I'm focusing on his eyebrows, which are a MESS
Pie: because you are not a tween girl. if you were, I'm sure you'd be entranced.
Weetabix: perhaps
is Randy on drugs tonight?
Pie: Randy likes how he "caressed each word"
that is kind of pervy
Weetabix: he likes the sucky ones, hates the great stuff, I'm very perplexed
I wouldn't say that Archie crushed the competition
Pie: and Simon said he crushed the competition... yeah I wouldn't say that either
Weetabix: Syesha actually outperformed him
Pie: Cookie was good, Syesha was fantastic
I would call Syesha the best of the night as well
okay, there is no way anyone but Castro is going, right?
Weetabix: so... for the recapo.... I continue with my five week streak of predicting Castro
Pie: wait, isn't there a typical "fourth place shocker boot"? in that case, anyone but Castro will be a shocker.
Weetabix: I was hoping that Brooke was the shocker
Pie: by the time she went, it was not a shock
Weetabix: if Brooke were still in it, I'd say that she would be gone tonight
Pie: hahaha... sure. if Sanjaya were on the show, I'd say he was gone too.
Weetabix: heee! Ok, in my head, it sounded like smart critical analysis and conjecture!
Pie: in reality, it seemed like a random hypothetical.
Weetabix: I predict that one of the four remaining contestants will be eliminated!
Pie: ooh, Ryan just reminded us that Tamyra and Daughtry were both eliminated fourth
Weetabix: oooh, see, yes, those were shocker,s although I never was a Tamyra fan, personally.
I believe she was Kelly and Justin's season.
Pie: I predict that John Stevens is a goner!!
we will not be seeing Constantine next week! I predict!
Weetabix: oh are you kidding? He's in that stupid audience every other week
Pie: yes, I realize now that my prediction has flaws
he has nothing else to do... he probably sits in that studio all week long
Weetabix: but if I were Kelly Pickler, I'd be not planning to perform next week
he's seat filler
Pie: hee! totally.
Weetabix: so... in finality, we both concur that Castro will be kicked off of our screens
although, my prediction of this has been his good luck charm for a long time
Pie: well, I think his luck has run out.
Weetabix: so instead, I will say Archuleta will go
Pie: okay. I predict David Cook SHOCK BOOT HORROR.
Weetabix: but really, stick a fork in Castro
NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Look, I still really haven't gotten past the PST of watching Daughtry! get the untimely boot.
Pie: okay. it won't happen. shh. shhh. it's okay.
go back to the happy place with the Dane/David threesome
Weetabix: great, who is going to rock me back to sleep tonight when the nightmares come?
right... happy place.. happy place
Pie: okay, Weetapidol out?
Weetabix: Yes, Weetapidol Out (Subtitle: Smell you later, Jason Castro)

Top 6: Would it be weird if we masturbated to this?

MoPie : helloo
Weetabix : hellooooooooo! (that was sung as an aria)
MoPie : Weetapie.... Weetapie... let us watch the show and say, my my....
(that was supposed to be to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar)
(I will work on it)
Weetabix : (I got chills)
can you stay paused for a moment so we can talk about our ideal ALW songs for each contestant?
MoPie : yes, absolutely
Weetabix : Because I really really want Jason Castro to sing a jangly version of "I don't know how to love him"
MoPie : your idea is excellent. I myself want David Cook to sing "Heaven on Their Minds."
Weetabix : which musical was that from?
MoPie : Jesus Christ Superstar, my favorite ALW musi-cal
Weetabix : wait, isn't Miss Saigon also ALW?
MoPie : no, it is not
Evita, JCS, Phantom, Cats...
Weetabix : Aside from Phantom, Cats and Jesus Christ Superstar, I have no idea what else ALW has done
MoPie : which, you know someone is going to sing Memory
Weetabix : also, didn't he do an Abba musical?
that wasn't Mamma Mia?
MoPie : Starlight Express, Evita, I think Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
(which, David A: "Close Every Door")
Weetabix : yes, Starlight Express is what I'm thinking of
MoPie : that is... not Abba. It's trains.
Weetabix : oh shit, Castro's going to do a ukelele version of Any Dream Will Do...but... roller skates, right?
MoPie : if there is a god, then yes. yes, roller skates and trains. no Abba.
Weetabix : well, in my universe, I choose to imagine it as an unholy amalgamation of Xanadu, Phantom and also Mamma Mia...because that my friend? Would be the best musical ever!...and also, Little Mermaid...roller skates under the sea!
MoPie : it would! and Starlight Express is the worst musical ever, and therefore the opposite of that.
Weetabix : which would explain why I haven't seen it. I'm said that Miss Saigon isn't going to be part of the show...because I would like to see Paula and Simon sing the. um. love song duet thingy....Last Night Of The World?...something like that. Is Les Mis ALW? I want this to be just a Broadway show! All Broadway!
MoPie : SOMEONE SING WICKED
Weetabix : I will sing Wicket...and also, Wicked...and it will be Wicket awesome!
MoPie : hee...Wicket, the croquet musical!
Weetabix : I really do think that Ryan has petit de mort when he says "This! Is AMERICAN IDOL!"
MoPie : no kidding
Weetabix : David Duchovny is in the audience? weird...Wait, American Idol is using "green power" at the finale? That... I need more information. what exactly does that constitute? OH MY GOD! the PHANTOM IS STARTING! and then Ryan fucked with it!
MoPie : it means.. Earth and... stuff.
Weetabix : I am going to get very upset tonight, I can already tell
MoPie : the Idols are about to fuck with Phantom
Weetabix : I get irrationally emotional when it comes to the Phantom
MoPie : and also Cats, which you would think couldn't be fucked with by definition...
Weetabix : Bad Cats hurts babies
MoPie : Ian: "Andrew Lloyd Weber is still alive." he just wanted to inform us.
Weetabix : Oh good, they are going to remind us of the Oeuvre of ALW
MoPie : now we'll find out if we missed any
Weetabix : yes, he is still alive, much to the dismay of Sarah Brightman
MoPie : my favorite is totally Jesus Christ Superstar, which I love...wow, we missed a lot
Weetabix : yes, things I've never heard of!
MoPie : and they're showing a clip from the TERRIBLE Phantom movie
Weetabix : oh, they went to Vegas! I want to go to that show!
MoPie : we could go to see Phantom in Vegas!
Weetabix : let's go! I'm in! It will be my mumble-somthingth time I've seen it!
MoPie : Ian says: "no."
Weetabix : screw ian! He can hang out with Esteban, who also says "no"
MoPie : he says I can see it though.
Weetabix : ALW would like you to know "words, words, words"
MoPie : he takes himself a little seriously, that ALW...dude, you wrote Cats...lighten up
Weetabix : and Starlight Express, which had zero mermaids in it, apparently
MoPie : zero mermaids, zero Swedish people...I actually want to see the version of Starlight Express in your head with mermaids and croquet and Abba
Weetabix : it would dazzle you

SYESHA MERCADO

Weetabix : I have never heard of "one rock and roll too many"
MoPie : it's from Whistle down the Wind
Weetabix : oooooh, Syesha just kind of schooled ALW...and he's classy enough not to backhand her off the stage, out to the cheap seats
MoPie : she's on the piano, wow
Weetabix : oooh, she's wearing a sexy sexy dress! and wow
MoPie : that red dress is fabuuuulous
Weetabix : and also, her boobs
MoPie : NICE TITS...sorry, I meant that respectfully
Weetabix : also, I like her voice. It's definitely got a rich tone that I don't think we've heard before.
MoPie : this is absolutely the most I've ever liked her
Weetabix : absolutely. Syesha needed ALW Week! and also, to stand on the piano with her boobies on display.
MoPie : she looks great, she sounds great...she looks comfortable, too
Weetabix : Seriously, she's suddenly like a superstar. Her voice is spot on...except for that note
MoPie : yeah, not a great note, but nonetheless
Weetabix : I was not liking the "tone out of you" line...but overall, I can totally forgive, because that was the first seriously amazing performance I've seen from this girl. I kept forgetting that she's in it.
MoPie : yeah, me too, and Randall agreeth
Weetabix : Randall thinks she could be a Broadway star and also, agrees with me that it's the best performance so far.
MoPie : Paula: "this is your happy place"...Paula knows from happy places. Simon is turned on! ha! speaking of his happy place
Weetabix : Ha! Totally! Suddenly, he's all "Ooooooh! Boobs!"
MoPie : LEGS...have you learned nothing? the short skirt is what did it for him...Ricky shoutout!
Weetabix : Yay Ricky! Syesha should wear red more often, because it makes little Simon very happy

JASON CASTRO

MoPie : singing MEMORY
Weetabix : FUCK, he's doing Memory
MoPie : I cannot wait...this is going to be awesomely bad
Weetabix : I seriously predict that Jason will be full of Fail on this
MoPie : I will also predict this
Weetabix : and he's trying to damage control in the Ryan Raps portion...I really hope that ALW actually is so disgusted by Castro that he actually deficates on the stage
MoPie : Jason "I didn't know a cat was singing it"...the musical IS CALLED CATS
Weetabix : like the Starlight Express in my head, the AI in my head is very good
MoPie : well I don't want to see anyone pooping
Weetabix : Seriously, I want to smack Castro so much right now
MoPie : the white suit is gross
Weetabix : Can he do anything that isn't a ballad?
MoPie : I want to shave his head
Weetabix : whatev, Delilah....this is so not good
MoPie : this is no good...this is poop on the stage
Weetabix : he doesn't have a low register? he's struggling with the low notes, it's just weird
MoPie : he doesn't have a high register, either, it's just all breathy
Weetabix : sorry, I hate this
MoPie : HATE IT. NEXT.
Weetabix : yes, I think he totally just rides on the stupid kissy faces that he makes
MoPie : (that was my Anthony-from-Sex-and-the-City voice)
Weetabix : oh my god, and white suit, white shoes, and DARK SOCKS?!?!?!
MoPie : bleh. go Syesha, is all I have to say about that. he is NOT wearing dark socks. NO.
Weetabix : yes, that was fantastic. Anthony is my favorite secondary character on SATC
MoPie : Randy actually said the word "trainwreck"...god bless you, Randall
Weetabix : yes, he is. Like a dark blue. My eyes are hemorrahging. which I spelled incorrectly
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is too big of a song for Castro...and also, No, Paula, NO, everyone is not used to hearing this from a female star. Barry Manilow sang the fuck out of this.
MoPie : Simon looks like he wants to slap some duct tape on Paula's mouth
Weetabix : Randall has a man crush on Castro. HA! Simon called it. It was painful and awful.
MoPie : thank you, Simonovich. I need more wine, after that.
Weetabix : I can imagine
MoPie : WHY IS MY WINE GONE
Weetabix : I think I need a Tums. NO ONE VOTE FOR CASTRO! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. It's only going to get worse, people. That's all I can say.
MoPie : okay I go get wine before ff-ing
Weetabix : ok, I'm also going to get some more sustenance

WEET AND PIE RECOVER FROM THE HORROR DURING COMMERCIALS

BROOKE WHITE
MoPie : Brooke looks confused by the song
Weetabix : wow, ALW had a brooke breakthrough
MoPie : we'll see how it goes
Weetabix : I like her dress...oh!
MoPie : when Madonna is a better singer than you, you're fucked
Weetabix : OOOOH!
MoPie : wow, she just fucked up and had to start over
Weetabix : she fucked up hardcore! is she going to be off her game now?
MoPie : Brooke looks like she's pooping while singing
Weetabix : there's probably still an odor left over from Castro's performance...she's screwing up the words
MoPie : that is some halfhearted hand waving from the audience
Weetabix : "wave your hands and win a Ford Focus!"
MoPie : I can't figure out why she had to start over
Weetabix : because she messed up the words? maybe? or did she perhaps jump in too quickly?
MoPie : maybe, I don't know...I don't know the song well enough
Weetabix : maybe she'll say...Randall is right, they need to believe what they are singing
MoPie : wow, she pissed off Paula
Weetabix : Ooooh, Paula rubs in the starting and stopping
MoPie : Paula is drugged up and confused and yet still pissed off...hee, "you were you"
Weetabix : wow, that is harsh. "You're NOT pretty. You're not you. You just screwed up!"
MoPie : she's pouting again
Weetabix : of course she is. what other recourse does she have? Ryan is finding out for us! She forgot!
MoPie : and Simon is calling her brave for it
Weetabix : I wonder if the producers told them to be nice to her this week...per Brian Dunkleman (the person, not the handkerchief)
MoPie : Paula is not happy about the stop and start, and Randall and Simon disagree--interesting. I am told that Dunkleman has some of it right and some of it wrong...I am not at liberty to be more specific than this
Weetabix :shit


DAVID ARCHULETA

MoPie : aw, he's wearing a little Members Only jacket...little girls hugging Archibald
Weetabix : Oooooooo! PHANTOM!
MoPie : he's singing THINK OF ME?!?!
Weetabix : I love Think of Me!
MoPie : who doesn't?
Weetabix : communists...CASTRO! Oh, it's got like this whole "More Than Words" vibe
MoPie : this is insane! in a good way, actually
Weetabix : it is kind of poppy...kind of like the ending credits of a Pixar movie kind of way
MoPie : he's good, this little tiny man. this is not horrible at all.
Weetabix : ALW is right, he does much better keeping his eyes open. although he's rushing some of the lyrics. ok, I have decided I am pro this version of this song
MoPie : however, not horrible...Ian is singing along. kind of howling, really. it is endearing, if you are married to him
Weetabix : I will take your word for that! wait, Randall seems unnecessarily excited...Paula has gotten over her shock and dismay over Brooke's false start...wait, the camera just showed Paul Stanley from KISS!? it's surreal audience night!
MoPie : where's Rue McClanahan and Barack Obama? and Andre Breton?

CARLY SMITHSON

MoPie : singing All I Ask Of You!! I love it!
Weetabix : oh my god!
MoPie : wait, no
Weetabix : MY FAVORITE
MoPie : he's changing her song...noooooooo
Weetabix : NOOOOOOOOO
MoPie : except she sounds great at Superstar..and this is my favorite ALW musical
Weetabix : seriously, I am SO devastated that she didn't do All I Ask Of You. that would be my song on ALW night
MoPie : All I Ask of You is a fantastic song
Weetabix : that's the song that I fell asleep to, the night before my wedding
MoPie : mine would be Heaven on Their Minds
Weetabix : really? Awesome! oh my god, look at all the lights
MoPie : Ian: "This has her writen all over it? What does that mean, she's Jesus?"
Weetabix : and the dress is awesome...she is. She's Jesus. Irish Jesus.
MoPie : the dress is a great print but a weird cut
Weetabix : you're right, it's giving her a poochy belly
MoPie : I love Judas...ih the musical, I mean
Weetabix : her voice is amazing. She's such a rocker chick. ALW was right, her chest voice was made for this song. all of the "yeah yeah yeah"s? So awesome.
MoPie : she's awesome
Weetabix : I would love to be able to wail like that. Paula's standing o! Wow, Simon says it's one of his favorite performances of the night? That's awesome.
MoPie : I hope people vote for her...I guess I could vote for her! as we are now caught up to real time
Weetabix : you can! you should!
MoPie : I SHALL
Weetabix : phone lines are actually open for you right now...since they have to open for the other coasts, right?
MoPie : what was the number? 5?
Weetabix : Must be...since she's the 5th of the night
MoPie : it is busy
Weetabix : David Cook will be six...that's a good sign!
MoPie : busy again!
Weetabix : that's how dial idol works, right? It's measuring the busies?
MoPie : it is...I am a one-man dial idol over here...I'll try later


DAVID COOK

Weetabix : I wonder what Dane Cook will be singing?
MoPie : probably not Heaven on Their Minds :(
Weetabix : probably not
MoPie : oh of course
Weetabix : FUCK YES!
MoPie : MUSIC OF THE NIGHT
Weetabix : FUUUUUCK YES!
MoPie : hee
Weetabix : I hope that he doesn't tank it...oooh shit...I'm going to have a moment
MoPie : I love how ALW is like "pretend you're a statutory rapist!"
Weetabix : I can tell you right now, from the snippet, that I will be downloading this from iTunes...and maybe also the video clip...for my private moments
MoPie : hee...this is where you use the line, "would it be weird if I masturbated to this?" (disclaimer: this was my reaction to watching Chris Daughtry singing Hemmorhage)
Weetabix : so, I think I'm too much of a Phantom purist. but that NOTE!? the "to BEEEEEEE?
MoPie : well he's no Michael Crawford
Weetabix : but I think it was in the spirit of the character
I actually loathe the Michael Crawford phantom
MoPie : you're kidding! who do you like?
Weetabix : I'm not. Peter Cousens
MoPie : my favorite live was Norman Large, who understudied for Robert Guillaume and was fantastic
Weetabix : I have also seen Norman Large. Also very good. I haven't ranked them, in particular, I just know that I love Peter Cousens the best.
MoPie : I've never even heard of Peter Cousens
Weetabix : he's Australian and a friend of Hugh Jackman, which makes him, you know, talented just by osmosis
MoPie : is he in your pants?
Weetabix : he is. At all times. I like how simon is like "Well, I have to say that it was good, so there you are"

MONTAGE

MoPie : who is going?
Weetabix : and also, I hope that Ryan never feels compelled to try to sing something like that ever again
MoPie : I think Jason Cook is in trouble
Weetabix : CASTRO if there is a God in heaven
MoPie : Brooke gets sympathy votes...Syesha was genuinely good
Weetabix : Brooke will get sympathy votes, if only for Paula harshing on her
MoPie : Carly was awesome, and the Davids are totally safe
Weetabix : I think Brooke will still be bottom three...wait, there will be a genuinely good person in the bottom three then
MoPie : I think Brooke is destroying my chances of winning the Weetapidol pool
Weetabix : sadly, I think it will be Syesha rounding out the bottom...unless something strange happens and it's Archie. I say Castro's gone...unless Brooke goes, which is quite possible. has Castro been in the bottom three even once, though?
MoPie : I don't think so...there is no way Archie is in the bottom three
Weetabix : he must have a mysterious fan base voting for him
MoPie : I will try Carly's line again!
Weetabix : keep trying...keep the faith! even though she didn't do All I Ask of You
MoPie : the judges are all wearing Phantom masks and it is creepy
Weetabix : ooooh, I'm sorry I'm missing that...maybe I'm not
MoPie : okay, well I guess that's all for us tonight!
Weetabix : Weetapidol out!
MoPie : WEEEEEttttaapiiidoooooLLLLLL oooOOOooooOOOOOOUTTTTTTTTTT