Top 4: Results and Pool Standings

Weet: Oooooh, did you see that there were revisions to the Pool Standings? That was my fault, an error in the fancy spreadsheet that I created to track scores (and also, eliminate potential errors...doh!) so many of you actually have more points than originally reported. Go you!

This here is the placeholder for tonight's results show in which we will most undoubtedly be saying goodbye to Castro's stupid kissy faces. Feel free to post your shock and awe here!

Pie: I'm now taking over this post to update the standings! Kelly S., who I'm starting to believe is psychic, was the only one who put Jason Castro in fourth place, who got a perfect score of 13 points this week, thus continuing her reign of dominance. Wendi and I put him in fifth, and Shmuel put him in third, giving all of us 12 points. The Weetapidol hive mind had him in sixth, as did too many of you to name. The new standings (with correct math, hopefully!) is here:

109 points: Kelly S.
100 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind
99 points: Shmuel and Mo Pie
98 points: Wendi
97 points: Xaan, Kim
96 points: Jake, Stacey
95 points: Eden
94 points: Shari, Carlywei, Pushca
93 points: Martha, Kelly M.
90 points: Weet
85 points: Gila

How did you do this week?

Top 4: Castrociousness

Pie: I have an image of Seacrest with weird hair… kind of triangularly pointy hair
Weetabix: what the hell! he's got Max Headroom hair… it's not a faux hawk… it's like a schlomohawk
Pie: Jason Castro was making an "I know this is ridiculous" face behind Seacrest
Weetabix: heee! by the way, the girl on the glass bridge is now a Jordin lookalike
Pie: interesting
Weetabix: top 4! how is that possible? what have you done America?
Pie: I know.. the season just whizzed on by, and here are Jason Castro and Syesha, for some reason
Weetabix: Randy is wearing something he pulled out of the backseat of a jumping car on Ventura
Pie: Syesha again looks fabulous. maybe she'll make it to the final two just to add some sex appeal.
Weetabix: wait, was that just Dawson? that was the Vanderbeek!
Pie: I love him now, after he was on How I Met Your Mother
Weetabix: I think he's creepy. And have always thought that… I dream of a David/David finale
Pie: I think the David/David final two is happening
Weetabix: this week, we're learning about this crazy thing the kids today are calling "rock and roll"
Pie: I am so thankful it is being explained to me
Weetabix: we should go to Cleveland and visit the hall of fame! ROAD TRIP!?! is there a presidential library there? I might be able to multitask… Grover Cleveland, perhaps?
Pie: my in-laws live there, and we were there and bored, and Ian still recommended that we not go. but if we can go see Grover Cleveland's presidential library, I'm in.
Weetabix: your in-laws are delightful people
Pie: I have always wanted to name a child Grover


Weetabix: DAVID COOK! Oh fuck me, he's doing Duran Duran
Pie: "HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF"
Weetabix: I just came, with the title
Pie: Hungry Like the Awesome!
Weetabix: I'm sad that Esteban isn't here, because this is his favorite 80's song, and then maybe he'd let me have sex with Dane Cook via threesome
Pie: would the threesome be you, Dane Cook, and David Cook?
Weetabix: Oh, fuck, that would be a serious guilty pleasure threesome
Pie: as opposed to the regular, staid, guilt-free threesomes you now enjoy
Weetabix: well, yes, my threesomes tend to be efficient fantasies with legitimate possibililities
Pie: There are too many letters in that word
Weetabix: ooooh, middle idolette? ROCKING that dress
Anyway, that was awesome
Pie: somehow, Cookie is selling the "doo doo doo doos"
Weetabix: his voice is amazing
Pie: yeah that kind of ruled McRuleyville.
Weetabix: and yet, Randy thinks it was just ok?
Pie: it left Paula with a "big appetite," and she enjoys "watching him grow." I think this might be a woman thing.
Weetabix: Sorry, Paula cannot come up with that line on her own.
Pie: she memorized it, I'm sure… or Nigel wrote it on her hand
Weetabix: I enjoy Dane Cook's dog tags
I thought I'd mention that
it's kind of like a wallet chain, but around your neck
I'm sensing a theme


SYESHA, "PROUD MARY"
Pie: coming up, Syesha smiles all pageanty!
Weetabix: Syesha is looking AMAZING
Pie: I am embracing the Syesha pageant vibe. she does look amazing, seriously.
Weetabix: see, that's the same color I was raving about a few weeks ago
kind of a champagne color? It's amazing for her
Again with the giant disk earring, though. She's keeping it real, dawg.
Pie: They are like glass peacock earrings
Weetabix: I think I'm going to enjoy this
Pie: Ian: "she's annoying."
Weetabix: I love this song
Pie: why is Syesha suddenly being charming?
Weetabix: especially with legs and stuff
and that dress
the legs=Simon will love it
Pie: her legs definitely measure up against Tina's... and that is quite a compliment
Weetabix: that it is. Tina's have more muscle tone, but Syesha's are up for the requirement.
Pie: and she's dancing.. that's brave
Weetabix: ooooh choreography!
Pie: it didn't quite work, but you can see she's slowly turning into a legitimate performer
Weetabix: yes, you would get winded
Pie: more "doo doo doo doos"… maybe that's what this "rock and roll" thing is all about
Weetabix: um, seriously, I'm getting a serious Beyonce vibe right now
Pie: nice job, Syesha!
she really has a star quality all of a sudden!
Weetabix: seriously, that was awesome!
her audience meter is through the roof!
You can actually see Simon smiling from behind
his cheeks were visible from behind.
Pie: Randy is correct that she's peaking at absolutely the right time, and Paula is right that she's turned into a star
Weetabix: Maybe it will be a Syesha/David finale?
Pie: that's what I said earlier.. scroll back, baby!
Weetabix: yes, she was snoozer until recently. And, I might add, she's totally fucking me over on the pool picks.
Pie: yeah, this is why Shmuel will own us all by the end
Weetabix: Interesting, the legs did not mean that Simon liked it! He called it a bad impression of Tina Turner!
Pie: hmm.
Weetabix: I have chagrin for thinking she'd not even hit the tour
Pie: I share your chagrin
Weetabix: we are chagrin twins
Pie: I also chare your shagrin
Weetabix: ok, drunky
Pie: hee. how did you know?
Weetabix: gee, psychic!


Pie: I have Ryan holding a head on a stick
Weetabix: that is creepy
Pie: is that... Castro?
Weetabix: some kind of voodoo Castro?
Pie: voodoo Castro!!
Weetabix: Carly!
Pie: juxtaposed with Castro to remind us WHO TO BLAME
Weetabix: STUPID CASTRO
Pie: you just played into it
Weetabix: Oh my god, I want to fucking smack him
Pie: CASTRO, "I SHOT THE SHERIFF" OH MY HELL
Weetabix: trying desperately to prove that he can do something other than a ballad
Pie: although really, could he ever have left before he got a chance to slaughter Bob Marley and swing his dreadlocks around?
Weetabix: jesus, his family has the Voodoo Castro
Pie: he isn't even singing. this sucks. you are NO BOB MARLEY SIR.
Weetabix: I must say, I really enjoy Bob Marley so maybe I'm biased, but this? SUCKS
like, if this guy were singing at a local bar, I'd still think he sucked.
when he sang "If I am guilty"... it went all kinds of off key
Pie: the guys in the band are playing the instruments and rolling their eyes simultaneously
"I can't believe my saxophone skills have come to this."
Weetabix: heee
Ricky Minor is looking into career counseling
Pie: poor Jason looks like a kicked puppy
Weetabix: Thank you Simon for calling out the Castrociousness
Pie: hahaha! and we have the title of this post, right there!
Weetabix: what does it say on Randy's sleeve?
Sincere? Sincrete? It's going to bug me.
Pie: I will try to get a peek
I think Castro may have taken a Xanax or something.. he looks positively cheerful to be told he sucks.


Weetabix: DAVID ARCHULETA, "STAND BY ME"
Pie: oh, Archibald.
it turns out he never really opens his eyes.
Weetabix: Baby Xander tries to convince us that when he was masturbating in his room, it was really him singing
Pie: thank you for that mental image. now *I* need a Xanax.
this is kind of good, though, don't you think?
Weetabix: Concentrate instead on the Middle Idolette, who so far, wins best cleavage of the night
yes, I don't mind this at all
also, I love this song
Pie: yes, she looks awesome, that middle Idolette
Weetabix: ooooh, weird falsetto thing at the end... interesting
Pie: I liked it, actually
Weetabix: It was unexpected. I enjoy watching him blossom into a young man. He's such a mini Timberlake
mark my words!
Pie: I am on Team Archibald right now
Weetabix: wait.. you're team Archie? Not TEAM COOK!?
Pie: no, I am on Team Cook for the win
Weetabix: noted
Pie: just Team Archibald for this particular song
Weetabix: do you think Paula harshed Syesha's mellow because they both are wearing metallic sequins?
Pie: I don't know, but Randy's sleeve? I think it's "Sin City"
Weetabix: hahaaaaa! Simon has not sated his lust for Castro's blood and takes another shot. LOVE IT!


DAVID COOK
Weetabix: I am enjoying Dane Cook's facial hair situation
Pie: Ian: "his hair is wrong. his facial hair, his top hair. it's all wrong."
Weetabix: IAN IS WRONG!
I will not hear of any more Dane Cook detraction
Pie: okay, Team Cook
Weetabix: except I have to say, I fucking HATE The Who… in fact, I make Esteban fast forward through the intro for CSI because I hate this song so much
Pie: Ian loves this song and says "he's doing a shitty job"
Weetabix: maybe he's making it his own
Pie: this is the theme song to CSI? that is BRILLIANT. he will get bonus votes from CSI viewers, and CSI is like one of the most popular shows!
Weetabix: All of the CSI's have Who songs in the intro
Pie: Ian: "I am not enjoying it."
I am reporting Ian's feelings because I don't know the song and have no feelings about it one way or the other
Weetabix: I love this version of the song
which is saying a LOT because I was braced to hate it
Pie: consider me as occupying the middle ground. now we've covered every part of the spectrum.
Weetabix: how did the performance make you feel as a person? As a music enjoyer? AS A WOMAN!?!
Pie: I was going to type how it made me feel as a woman, but I decided it was too obscene, even for this blog.
Weetabix: I will ponder that deeply in my heart


SYESHA "A Change is Going to Come"
Pie: wow, and again, she looks stunning
Weetabix: Syesha" I went home after the results show and cried my eyes out"... yeah, so did Brooke!
Pie: that dress is a-MAAAAAZING
Weetabix: ooooh, it sure is
Pie: and by "that dress" I mean "her breasts"
Weetabix: you know what it reminds me of? In the draping? The dress that Kiera Knightley wore in Atonement. Only, instead of green, it's tangerine.
yes, the peekaboo window for the boobies is helping her case right now
she should have saved them for next week, when Castro wasn't the obvious easy out
Pie: she is a contender, all of a sudden. how... how did that happen?!
Weetabix: her lips are very glittery
I think it's the boobs. She's the last one with boobs.
Pie: for the first time, I think, she deserves to be in the top four
Weetabix: I wasn't impressed by the song, though. I didn't care about it.
Concur with Randall... it was meh
Pie: I liked it... not as much as Paula, though, who is now in tears and making Syesha cry
nice moment, though
Weetabix: wow, no kidding. Over-emoting much, Paula?
Pie: and yet Simon agrees with Paula. WHERE ARE YOUR TEARS, SIMON?
Weetabix: I agree, though. She's definitely a contender
I could see her bumping Archuleta out
Pie: she sang a civil rights song.... well, fair enough. but boy she is going to get some votes out of that.
Weetabix: I love that Ryan asserted his authority there, plus also did a plug for Hell's Kitchen. That's pretty slick.


Weetabix: CASTRO "MR TAMBOURINE MAN"
Pie: JASON COOK. MANGLING BOB DYLAN
Weetabix: Oh my fucking hell.
OH my GOD!
Pie: he seems like a sweet kid, but he is out of his league, given what Syesha has brought to the table
Weetabix: He missed the words
how can you mess up those words?
Pie: hee. was it like "hey Mr. Tangerine Man"?
Weetabix: Mr Tangerine Man?
Pie: you said he messed up the lyrics.. I was speculating..
Weetabix: No, he did like "Will you uh uh uhmmmmm uh you?"
Pie: HUMOR!
Weetabix: sorry, sometimes I'm a little literal
he actually sounds better than he did in the first song
Pie: yeah it was better, just... he was outclassed
Weetabix: also, why the hell is Carly standing for that?
and they show Carly clapping anemically
Pie: to juxtapose "Do you miss Carly? If so DO NOT VOTE FOR JASON."
Weetabix: maybe they electrified her seat? Or took it away?
oooh, Simon got a little stern there. Yes Daddy.
Pie: Jason keeps mouthing "vote"
still, I can't see anyone else going home

DAVID ARCHULETA, "LOVE ME TENDER"
Weetabix: he's got an iPhone
Pie: he is perched on a stool in a very un-sexy way to sing his love song
Weetabix: oh, I don't know about Elvis, kid.
Pie: he has a pretty voice, that Archibald, actually
Weetabix: this performance, though, does not have me entranced
instead, I'm focusing on his eyebrows, which are a MESS
Pie: because you are not a tween girl. if you were, I'm sure you'd be entranced.
Weetabix: perhaps
is Randy on drugs tonight?
Pie: Randy likes how he "caressed each word"
that is kind of pervy
Weetabix: he likes the sucky ones, hates the great stuff, I'm very perplexed
I wouldn't say that Archie crushed the competition
Pie: and Simon said he crushed the competition... yeah I wouldn't say that either
Weetabix: Syesha actually outperformed him
Pie: Cookie was good, Syesha was fantastic
I would call Syesha the best of the night as well
okay, there is no way anyone but Castro is going, right?
Weetabix: so... for the recapo.... I continue with my five week streak of predicting Castro
Pie: wait, isn't there a typical "fourth place shocker boot"? in that case, anyone but Castro will be a shocker.
Weetabix: I was hoping that Brooke was the shocker
Pie: by the time she went, it was not a shock
Weetabix: if Brooke were still in it, I'd say that she would be gone tonight
Pie: hahaha... sure. if Sanjaya were on the show, I'd say he was gone too.
Weetabix: heee! Ok, in my head, it sounded like smart critical analysis and conjecture!
Pie: in reality, it seemed like a random hypothetical.
Weetabix: I predict that one of the four remaining contestants will be eliminated!
Pie: ooh, Ryan just reminded us that Tamyra and Daughtry were both eliminated fourth
Weetabix: oooh, see, yes, those were shocker,s although I never was a Tamyra fan, personally.
I believe she was Kelly and Justin's season.
Pie: I predict that John Stevens is a goner!!
we will not be seeing Constantine next week! I predict!
Weetabix: oh are you kidding? He's in that stupid audience every other week
Pie: yes, I realize now that my prediction has flaws
he has nothing else to do... he probably sits in that studio all week long
Weetabix: but if I were Kelly Pickler, I'd be not planning to perform next week
he's seat filler
Pie: hee! totally.
Weetabix: so... in finality, we both concur that Castro will be kicked off of our screens
although, my prediction of this has been his good luck charm for a long time
Pie: well, I think his luck has run out.
Weetabix: so instead, I will say Archuleta will go
Pie: okay. I predict David Cook SHOCK BOOT HORROR.
Weetabix: but really, stick a fork in Castro
NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Look, I still really haven't gotten past the PST of watching Daughtry! get the untimely boot.
Pie: okay. it won't happen. shh. shhh. it's okay.
go back to the happy place with the Dane/David threesome
Weetabix: great, who is going to rock me back to sleep tonight when the nightmares come?
right... happy place.. happy place
Pie: okay, Weetapidol out?
Weetabix: Yes, Weetapidol Out (Subtitle: Smell you later, Jason Castro)

Top 7: Mariah Carey teaches the Idols how best showcase their boobs talent

Weetabix : hellooooo!
MoPie : hellooooo! I am set... I even have Ian's computer as a precaution against mine crashing
Weetabix : I am likewise on Esteban's pc and paused on the idols on the stage
MoPie : we are on our husband's jocks...if by "jocks" you mean "laptops"
Weetabix : you are 8 years old
MoPie : I should have said "laps"--that would have actually made way more sense
Weetabix : I'm sure it's in the urban dictionary that way
MoPie : I have either had too much wine or not enough. okay should I press play? I am exactly at the beginning
Weetabix : my vote is not enough
MoPie : CLINK!
Weetabix : ok, I'm going!
MoPie : me too! there is pretty Carly and annoying Syesha
Weetabix : brooke brought back her sproodly hair!
MoPie : and Archibald
Weetabix : I enjoy her sproodly hair. I am trying hard to like Brooke
MoPie : I enjoy the word "sproodly" and I think that she will be in the top two, so liking her is politic
MoPie : I have decided that if we call Randy "Randall," we should call David Archuleta "Archibald"
Weetabix : it's "trying". ok, what is Cookie? Cookington?
MoPie : I have to allow the old-timey names to come to me
Weetabix : manifest them
MoPie : more Michael Johns shock horror
Weetabix : oooh, Ryan dredging up old pain
MoPie : NOT THAT SURPRISING, people.
Weetabix : my pants were surprised!
MoPie : there are Randall, Pauline, and Simonskovich. see what happens when I try to force old-timeyness? I get Russian.
Weetabix : Pie, I love you but there is no way I'll be able to type "Simonskovich" when I'm drinking all the wines
MoPie : Archibald is tiny! and Syesha's boobs are... not. Mariah Carey night!
Weetabix : and speaking of not tiny boobs
MoPie : hee... here is her montage
Weetabix : she's had more singles than Elvis... I heard that on the radio today... more hits rather
MoPie : I loved Mariah at first, then I decided she was kind of a skank, and now I am neutral on her
Weetabix : oh, Ryan just said that... I've actually never liked her. At all.
MoPie : neutral/skank. she's no Andrew Lloyd Weber
Weetabix : in fact, I called her out in a short story, accusing her of sounding like a dolphin
MoPie : oh god, she's one of those celebrities with dogs
Weetabix : of course she is
MoPie : she does sound like a dolphin. Ian "read somewhere that she's black"
Weetabix : wow, I am TRANSFIXED by her breasts
MoPie : she is a diva! she cares nothing at all about any of those little Idols.
Weetabix : thank you, Ian, for the ethnicity spin. ask Ian about what he thinks Paula's ethnicity is
MoPie : Ryan is asking Randy a good question--with this theme, he can't complain that people are trying to sound like Mariah, because that's the point
Weetabix : Archibald!
MoPie : Ian thought Paula was from Lebanon, but admits he has no idea

DAVID "OMG UR 2 MBARA55N" ARCHULETA

MoPie : "Meeting Mariah Carey was really scary" Archibald rhymed!
Weetabix : he's afraid that she's sing one of those scary notes and his eardrums will burst
MoPie : Mariah as a mentor is not impressing me
Weetabix : her boobs are impressing me
MoPie : J. Lo was WAY better. here goes Archibald!
Weetabix : Archibald is wearing leather pants
MoPie : he is NOT!... is he?
Weetabix : I do not know how I feel about that fact in my life
MoPie : OMG he is
Weetabix : yes, see the shine?
MoPie : I don't know this song at all
Weetabix : me either, but it must be one of those songs that helped her beat elvis?
MoPie : the leather pants go well with his shirt... and now I am done looking at tiny Archibald's pants. here is my deep dark secret: I think Elvis is kind of overrated. does nothing for me
Weetabix : I enjoy some Elvis, but I feel that he's like musical cilantro: too much can be super annoying and also, taste like soap. I enjoy "Suspicious Minds" when I've been in my liquor.
MoPie : Archibald is holding his palm out as if he's asking for spare change. "Please, sir? I am little Archibald! The urchin! Canst thou spare a nickel?" Elvis is "musical cilantro." That is beautiful.
Weetabix : "please sir, can I have sum mo?"
MoPie : Randy was worried about "boys singing girl songs" Randy, you're so heteronormative
Weetabix : aw, Randall and his gender confusion
MoPie : Paula has shaggy bangs... she looks like a fluffy dog
Weetabix : Paula is channeling Mariah's thoughts now?
MoPie : Paula doing channelling explains a lot
Weetabix : Simon seems to be sort of falling over himself to not insult Mariah's music
MoPie : she's probably always channelling something, we just have to decide what
Ian : "That kid looks like he's in grade school."
Weetabix : he's BABY XANDER! he's a kid in Sunnydale Grade School!
MoPie : hee! Carly is next! Carly, BE AWESOME.
Weetabix : ugh, I just had a flashback to last week and the sign held by the 9 year old begging him to lick his lips... shudder!
MoPie : STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

CARLY "THEY ALWAYS BE STEALIN ME LUCKY CHARMS" SMITHSON

MoPie : Carly's dress is pretty, and so are her breasts
Weetabix : Carly is wearing THE BEST DRESS
MoPie : since we have a breast theme.
Weetabix : Actually, that reminds me of the shirt that Shannonk helped me pick out when we were in LA last December. I enjoy Breast Week!
MoPie : so I guess Michael is the only funny one.
Weetabix : They should double Breast Week, not Beatles Week
MoPie : she just called him "MJ"
Weetabix : holy shit, check out Mariah's high heels
MoPie : I think they did that whole interview to pimp Carly... to align her with Aussie and make people like her.
Weetabix : how does she walk on carpet with those? OOOOOH, I love this song
MoPie : I can't see Mariah's heels. I can see her boobs. and also her boobs. and thirdly, and finally, her boobs.
Weetabix : her heels are sixteen inches tall... and agreed on the boobs.
MoPie : this is a good song!
Weetabix : it totally is. It's one of my favorites. Also, isn't this cheating? It's a remake that Mariah did. How is that a Mariah song?
MoPie : Ian claims this is a "Nillson" song
Weetabix : it is
MoPie : I think he's just making syllables
Weetabix : it's on one of my writing playlists
MoPie : I hope that all of this pimping and awesomeness means Carly is safe
Weetabix : I hope so too, because she must be rewarded for this fantastic dress and also, the boobs. oh yeah, and the singing
MoPie : what do you think of the... er... singing? hee
Weetabix : awesome as per usual. I think it was more than "pretty good" Randall. Oh dear god, Paula is channeling a kitchen sponge right now
MoPie : hee. Paula complimented her on "choosing different parts"... she might be channelling a pick-and-pull scrapyard.
Weetabix : booo Simon, Carly did SO pull that off. Isn't he looking at all of her boobs?
MoPie : ha! maybe he's a leg man
Weetabix : that's right, Haley Scarnato
MoPie : my thoughts exactly
Weetabix : and also, to some extent, Katharine McPhee

COMMERCIALS
Weetabix : ff
MoPie : oh, I am caught up...sorry, now there's a commercial with a red car
Weetabix : ok, I am paused with Ryan surrounded by a million girls...um, way overcompensating Ryan. we get it, you're "STRAIGHT"
MoPie : I will let you know when I get to Ryan Overcompensates
Weetabix : actually, there's a surprised and delighted guy almost directly behind him

SYESHA "FINALLY A WEEK MADE FOR ME" MERCARDO

MoPie : Mariah doesn't even hug the contestants or anything
Weetabix : she doesn't want the germs of mediocrity. I'll bet the contestants were instructed to not touch the Diva
MoPie : now she is doing an air kiss
Weetabix : oh perhaps Mariah must engage
MoPie : I like the piano player's little chin sprout
Weetabix : isn't that Ricky Minor? maybe not?
MoPie : Syesha continues the theme of the evening... with the... boobs. suddenly I like Syesha more!
Weetabix : well, clearly we are a boob crowd
MoPie : seriously, that dress is gorgeous on her
Weetabix : it is. Unlike the grey she wore during the mentoring session, this color is FANTASTIC on her... like, magical
MoPie : she sounds great. fuck, Carly is in trouble.
Weetabix : ooooh, I actually enjoyed that run
MoPie : me too... the problem is, what happens if nobody sounds shitty? so far everyone sounds pretty good!
Weetabix : maybe Jason Castro won't be able to haul out a ukelele on a Mariah Carey song and he'll finally get the boot. also, KFC's night has to be coming soon, right? I wouldn't bet money on Syesha going tonight, quite honestly. Like country week for KFC, this is Syesha's week.
MoPie : yes, I agree. I think Paula just said "magic" like eight times. She's channelling David Copperfield.
Weetabix : the magician or the Dickens character?
MoPie : either one, really. Dickens goes with the old-timey theme and the other one goes with the magic and the tits. it's all gold, baby.
Weetabix : I would enjoy the show more if Paula burst out with a "crikey, govna!"

COMMERCIALS
MoPie : this would be where we would ff if I was able to ff... instead I WILL DRINK MORE!!
Weetabix : I am paused on a spinning Idol logo... tell me when you get there
MoPie : you could just let it ride, dawg.. yet you hate commercials too much to sit through them!
Weetabix : I will next time but I had already pressed ff... I do hate commercials though. This is what I am willing to live with for the sake of Weetapidol
MoPie : yes but I am watching Ashley Tisdale in the commercial. go Sharpei!
Weetabix : I wish Idol were like other reality shows and they could win immunity somehow
MoPie : I award immunity to Carly

BROOKE "NO CLEAVAGE BUT DETERMINED TO MAKE YOU CRY" WHITE
Weetabix : gone!
MoPie : BRooke's dress sparkles!!
Weetabix : brooke is sparkly
MoPie : and yet an I see her boobs?
Weetabix : jinx!!
no, not seeing boobs
MoPie : I meant... "and yet can I see her boobs"?
Weetabix : that's it, she's getting voted off
MoPie : MORE BOOBS, BROOKE.
TAKE OFF YOUR TOP.
Weetabix : actually, I HATE that dolman sleeve cut. It's so DorothySbornak
oooh, Hero
MoPie : Brooke is so sweet.
Weetabix : you can tell that Brooke's hippy dippyness is bugging the shit out of Mariah
MoPie : I want to be pals with Brooke. Brooke, call me!
yes, that is the subtext
oh we didn't say BROOKE WHITE
we should put that up higher
she's doing that short-of-breath thing
Weetabix : I think she's safe this week. Her curly hair will override the lack of breasts.
MoPie : Brooke, do not get voted off. you will destroy my Weetapidol pool score.
she sounds kind of.. not great.
Weetabix : actually, I'm not so much liking this dawg
I'm glad that we both agree
MoPie : it's a little fast... there's too much emphasis on the piano over her voice.
Syesha was way better.
Weetabix : because what the Weetapidolers don't realize is that we pretty much typed that at the same time
MoPie : yes. we need to find a way to convey that... when we type things simultanously, which we've done like three times now.
this is not good!
Weetabix : yes, it's not terribly full of emotion or anything. I mean, it's sad when I actually think the Mariah version is better. I don't think that about anything ever, really.
MoPie : the piano is just CHORD CHORD CHORD
Weetabix : what does this remind me of? Gah, that's going to bug me.
the way she's singing it, it's like it's just some trivial little nothing song. It's supposed to be kind of inspiring and emotional.
MoPie : Randy hated it, but likes Brooke
Paula is going with more of her Brooke compliments. "you're identifiable."
Weetabix : Paula likes Brooke's hair
MoPie : "I am able to recognize you when you are on the stage."
Weetabix : well, she hasn't said that, but she's basically saying that
Simon thinks that Brooke is a Boca Burger
MoPie : don't pout, Brooke. DON'T MAKE ME ANNOYED, BROOKE.
Weetabix : are they really saying "the meat was in the bun"?
my head is going to explode
and then ryan, asking about where the meat was?
AAAAAAAGH!
MoPie : oh, I think Ryan knows where the meat is.
Weetabix : heee!

KRISTY LEE "MY BOOBS ARE BLESSED BY GOD AND AMERICA" COOK
MoPie : god, speaking of which (kind of) Kellie Pickler won MULTIPLE CMAs.
Weetabix : Notice Mariah's body language during the mentoring session? The head shaking? The vaguely distressed look?
MoPie : KFC is featuring her boobs, though. nice boobs, KFC. or should I say "breast meat"?
Weetabix : the same looks I'm giving right now upon learning of Pickler's CMA win... I'm not sure how I feel about that dress
MoPie : that was a terrible chicken joke.
Weetabix : it really was...
MoPie : I like the dress, actually. she's making squinchy eyebroes. she isn't that bad. Brooke was worse. oh god.
Weetabix : I don't like this, not at all
MoPie : she sounds like she's singing at a prom
Weetabix : although, her vocals aren't bad really, I just don't like watching her perform
MoPie : I blame the song, though
Weetabix : that's actually what I was going to say about her dress, but then you said you liked it. and I didn't want to harsh your mellow...although, check it out, when they show her from the front, it's entirely a different color than when they show her from the back
MoPie : you can harsh my mellow. it wasn't that great, whatevs.
Weetabix : Paula is blown away? Paula is channeling a leaf blower.
MoPie : hahaha... that actually just made me laugh out loud
Weetabix : well, my work here is done!
MoPie : their attack of KFC means people will vote for her
Weetabix : I love that Simon brings it back down to earth and calls the performance "whiny"
MoPie : she's the Jasmine... she'll hang on until the end
Weetabix : maybe?
Weetabix : That's unfortunate. I honestly find her very vanilla and non-objectionable. I just don't see the appeal

COMMERCIALS
MoPie : I need some wine while the commercials commersh.
Weetabix : ok, I'll sit here and enjoy the Mac commercial ever since I became a Mac owner, I'm succumbing to the typical Mac owner superiority that is so annoying to PC owners
MoPie : oh no.. I enjoy the commercials but... oh no.
Weetabix : I know. I'm sorry. I'll apologize now while I am still feeling humble enough to talk to you.
MoPie : ha!
Weetabix : I actually used to be vaguely offended by the mac commercials, just because the PC guy was kind of overweight and the Justin whateverhisnameis kid is such a hipster douche... but now I just laugh and think "Oh MAC!"
MoPie : when I first saw that commercial, I couldn't figure out if it was pro-Mac or pro-PC... I thought the PC guy was so cute and the Mac guy was so snotty
Weetabix : exactly... I felt very bait and switched by the commercial...like "oh, wait, I'm identifying with the wrong protagonist"
MoPie : rroooo rooooo!

DAVID "WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU I TOUCH MYSELF" COOK
Weetabix : look at how small Ryan's wee little head is! this confirms every suspicion...COOKIE! Ooooh my god! This just might be awesome. this might be another "Hello"
MoPie : spoiler alert! he is supposed to be awesome
Weetabix : I predict correctly! I am justified! oooh, and he's sufficiently rumpled and wearing a white shirt! the wrinkled white shirt is this season's "wallet chain" for me
MoPie : did he borrow Aussie's vest?
Weetabix : oooh, there are violins and TOTAL Chris Lights... except.... this means that Castro's got the pimp spot. Dane Cook DESERVED the pimp spot
MoPie : this is what Constantine always thought he was
Weetabix : I don't want to end the night on Castro! yes, this is awesome
MoPie : we could just pretend our TVs cut out. or invent some random comments about Castro: "Paula is channeling a phone psychic!"
Weetabix : also, I went to youtube and watched some Constantine clips. He's just a big singing penis face... I don't see the allure
MoPie : that is an accurate description of Constantine
Weetabix : Ok, so that? Was seriously hot.
MoPie : I really don't know this song, but Randy is wetting himself over it
Weetabix : I concur with Randall. That was worthy of standing up and applauding.
MoPie : I really enjoyed it
Weetabix : you actually do know it. It's bubble gum pop and you've heard it a million times.
MoPie : go Cookie! go Cookie! the battle of the Davids is totally on. okay I will need to listen to the original and then this one again. aw, is Cookie crying? it's okay, little Cookie!
Weetabix : it's so endearing! and yes, I think he's weeping! YES! confirmed with HD big screen
MoPie : Ryan's dumb. "I never thought in a million years I'd hear David Cook doing Mariah Carey." Until you declared it MARIAH CAREY WEEK.
Weetabix : all the girls in the audience just simulatenously orgasmed
MoPie : aw, Cookie! suddenly I want to vote for him.
Weetabix : "LET ME FIX YOU!"
MoPie : hee

JASON "I GET LAID MORE THAN ALL OF THESE CHUMPS COMBINED" CASTRO

MoPie : oh god, Jason Castro
Weetabix : he's such a douche face
MoPie : "I think he's really unique"--Mariah, that's so ungrammatical
Weetabix : wow, falsetto was interesting
MoPie : Jason just hit a ridiculous note
Weetabix : he was trying to channel a dolphin. or maybe that's the noise he uses to clear out his bong? I don't know what that means, actually
MoPie : why does he always make those "I'm about to go in for a kiss" faces?
Weetabix : but bong! funny!
MoPie : stop making lopsided kiss faces. I thought it was funny! if you don't think about it too much
Weetabix : thank you for reassuring me, sort of! However, yes, the faces? They bug.
MoPie : he's got the pimp spot and not sucking... I think Carly or Brooke are in trouble
Weetabix : I think Brooke is in more trouble than Carly... but Carly's definitely in danger
MoPie : Ian: "Ugh! Can they make him cut his hair!"
Weetabix : oooh, but maybe if Randall will harsh his mellow, there's some hope?
MoPie : I love Randy's "beach luau" criticism... and then comes Paula.. "I'd love to be at that luau!"
Weetabix : I would be ok if they just made him wash it
MoPie : hahaha!
Weetabix : Paula is channeling a fiddler crab...
MoPie : hee or Annette Funnicello
Weetabix : ooh, much better than the fiddler crab. also, Simon approves. Hmmm, maybe he's trying to convince everyone that Castro's safe? Is he undermining the vote? I'm trying to determine too much end game.
MoPie : yeah, I think it's pretty evident that the women, buried at the beginning of the performances, are toast... they are safe putting Archibald first, because he is going NOWHERE
Weetabix : Gah, Paula is channeling Rain Man, just randomly repeating the things that Ryan says.. my tivo cut out
MoPie : I fear it may be Carly's week to go
Weetabix : nooooooo! although we have said all along that she was going to break our heart
MoPie : that is what my gut is saying... although Brooke really--now that I see the montage--really was the worst of the night
Weetabix : it does seem that Brooke has earned more voter goodwill than Carly... so, is Carly your prediction?
because I'm going to predict Jason Castro, just because it makes me happy
MoPie : I don't know... actually I think my head says Brooke because Carly got the Aussie in my Pants alignment
Weetabix : either way, you're predicting a girl?
MoPie : oh definitely... Castro was in the pimp spot, both Davids ruled
Weetabix : oh, one can only hope, unless some of the Aussie contingent gets confused by Dane Cook's vest and votes for him
MoPie : I really hope Syesha, unfairly, is voted off. or KFC. KFC would be very satisfying
Weetabix : yes, let's hope for the grievous injustice!


WEETAPIDOL OUT
WEETAPIDOL'S BOOBS ALSO OUT