Thursday, April 16, 2009

Top 7: the plague of stupid Bryan Adams songs

(Disclaimer: once again, Weet's Tifaux has given Weetapidol the shaft and chose not to record American Idol, so Weet is relying upon the grace of Rickey.org for the performance videos. The TiFaux has been double-checked for next week, and we are also using an 8-year-old but much more reliable actual Tivo as a failsafe. You probably don't care about that, but there it is.)

Pie :
I was so excited about the "songs from the movies" theme tonight
but then I read song spoilers
Weetabix : yeah, I did too
Pie : I laughed my ass off when I saw the last one
TWO Bryan Adams songs? SNORE.
I mean if Quentin Tarantino's there, someone do Son of a Preacher Man, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Weetabix : I hadn't noticed the prevalence of the Bryan Adams. He must have been easy to give up licensing?
Pie : or Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down
Weetabix : Lil could have done Son of a Preacher Man up righteous
Pie : okay, I am watching the intro... I will report again... it is an intro with lighting, and Ryan just did "THIS is... Quentin Tarantino." and then QT said "this! is American Idol."
Weetabix : ha! I miss having the real show. Stupid TiFaux.
Pie : you should fix that, woman!
Weetabix : no kidding! It didn't record the Office either
but at least I can watch The Office online for free
AI, however, seems to be on lockdown
Pie : yeah, good point. The Office last week was good.
Weetabix : that seems downright unAmerrrrican
Pie : Randy is wearing stripes
Weetabix : and the sky is blue
Pie : Kara has flat hair
Weetabix : intriguing
Pie : paula is wearing sparkles
and Simon's hair is flat
Weetabix : flatter than normal?
Pie : but flat on top, not flat ironed like Kara's
no, he is nondescript
Simon is apologizing for the overrun last week
Weetabix : as well he should
Pie : and this week, only two judges will be talking for each contestant
Weetabix : did he explain the reason (RYAN RAPS)?
Pie : he claimed it was because Kara and Paula babbled too much
Weetabix : misogynist
Pie : totes
now they are doing a Quentin Tarantino montage
Weetabix : I enjoy Tarantino, even though he basically makes the same movie over and over
Pie : it is an amusing montage that I suspect QT did himself
Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece
Weetabix : true dat
Pie : and let me say for the ten thousandth time that it losing best picture to Forrest Gump WAS A TRAVESTY
Weetabix : I saw it three times while it was still in the movie theatre. I don't recall doing that with any other movie as an adult.
Pie : I love that QT is such a huge Idol fan... this is the second time he's been a judge, even
Weetabix : he's a judge too?
Pie : wait, no.. just a mentor

ALLISON IRAHETA
"I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" from Armageddon
sappy vballad #1

Weetabix : They've started a new site: vote for the first.com to offset the supposed death curse of going first
Pie : I have nothing to say about this performance thus far
Weetabix : I will say this: I don't think she chose the right song
Pie : yeah, I don't think so either. this song is boring and her performance is boring me, and there's something weird with her lower register... like the song is too low for her.
Weetabix : I don't really like much of anything involved with "Armageddon", aside from (speaking of Tarantino), Steve Buscemi
but this song is just not working with her voice at all
Pie : no
Weetabix : also, her outfit was not adorable
Pie : I have been rooting for Allison, but this week, not so much
Weetabix : last week, she was adorable, this week, it was boxy or something
Pie : okay, judges! let's see who gets to talk...
Weetabix : I still like her, as an individual, and I think she's cute and stuff, but the song was not so much
Pie : Paula said she has "special sauce" and is authentic
Weetabix : like a Big Mac?
Pie : Simon said it was "barbeque sauce" and hot and spicy.
Weetabix : interesting
Pie : "you are the girls' only hope left in this competition"
Weetabix : I thought he'd barbecue skewer her, but apparently not?
Pie : she is improving
Weetabix : wow, ouch to Lil Rounds
Pie : and "Ley-ull sucks" was the subtext there.
Simon thinks she has a chance to win
so there you go, they liked her
maybe I just don't like this song

ANOOP DESAI
"Everything I do" from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Pie : is next with some bullshit Bryan Adams song from "Robin Hood"
Weetabix : far away, blue stage, AI logo in the front
Pie : "Everything I Do I Do For You"
QT was "concerned" by the song choice
BECAUSE THIS SONG SUCKS
Weetabix : as is the world
Pie : this song sucks as badly as Kevin Costner's accent in that movie.
Weetabix : he didn't have one. I think he just gave up and was "American Rob Hood"
Pie : at least Anoop is changing it up a little
their cheesy ass song choices are VERY DISAPPOINING
Weetabix : I was hoping Anoop would be wearing some kind of peasant garb
Pie : that would be glorious
Weetabix : and tights
Pie : and holding a quiver of arrows
and tights, of course!
Weetabix : a quiver could be the new Wallet Chain!
Pie : this is a fine performance but what an awful song
Weetabix : but no, instead we got a Thomas Pink shirt and a bad tie, along with a weird sleeveless jacket situation
Pie : I didn't notice, because the song put me to sleep
Weetabix : yeah, Anoop may have shot his foot with his crossbow in this one
Pie : Randy thinks he's "found his zone" and is "rocking the house"
Kara says his place is "pop songs and adding your soul to it"
Weetabix : Are the judges messing with me? Or are these songwriters in the audience right now?
Pie : and it was one of his best vocals
it was a good vocal, I just loathe the song.
songwriters in the audience?
Weetabix : like, maybe they don't want to offend them by saying how much it sucked?

ADAM LAMBERT
"Born to be Wild" from Easy Rider

Weetabix : I suspect this will be an aural orgasm
Pie : QT thinks Adam is "the real deal"
Adam is up, the crowd goes wild! I have to say I enjoy Adam's gloves, and also his showmanship of doing that "touch the hands of the screaming girls" thing
Weetabix : I am interested in the fact that QT enjoyed the taste. Silhouette of adam in front of lightening bolts
Pie : the lightning bolts say to me, from a stage design perspective, "fuck it, we're going with Adam"
Weetabix : agreed... they are trying to mesmerize America.
Pie : "we will not pretend he isn't the most interesting thing about this show.... we are aware he is."
he's also got a wallet chain for you
hee. he is so awesome.
Weetabix : although we thought that with Daughtry too. I keep pointing out Daughtry as the outlier to the whole theories of AI mechanizations
but seriously, the quality of his performance is totally rock star caliber. Everyone else just looks awkward and meek.
Pie : yeah but Daughtry should have won! he was supposed to win! that was an aberration!
Weetabix : Adam takes his balls and puts them against the wall. Or whatever that saying is.
Pie : yeah, he does. he puts his balls all over the place.
Weetabix : and then the falsetto! It's all shades of awesome.
Adam Lambert just teabagged America.
Pie : ha!
Paula says "WOO!!!!"
Weetabix : that's some kind of necklace that she's wearing tonight
Pie : and the audience says "WOO!!!"
I believe that is part of her dress
Weetabix : like a dog collar? or part of her dress?
Pie : Adam "dares to dance in the path of greatness" and is brave. Amen, Paula.
Weetabix : "fortune rewards the brave" and I agree, he's crazy brave
Pie : ha! Simon's funny. "you've gotta learn to express yourself more."
too Rocky Horror... you knew someone was going to go there eventually.
Weetabix : well, yeah. I was thinking that it could be called a little throw-back to 80s hair band
Pie : although if he had sung Sweet Transvestite for movie week, that would have ruuuuled
Weetabix : oh my god, I would have stroked out...or off...something...one of those prepositions
Pie : and from this to more Bryan Adams
I am telling you right now, "Matt" is toast
also, I thought it was "fortune favors the bold"
but Paula was close!
Weetabix : oh, you're right, it is

Matt "Matt" Giraud
"Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman?" from Don Juan DeMarco

Pie : Ryan Raps with "Matt"
Weetabix : I can't believe we have to listen to "Matt" now....and it's the worst bryan adams song ever
Pie : what song?
Weetabix : "Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman"
Pie : oh god, vomit
Weetabix : from the worst Johnny Depp movie ever
Pie : Daughtry did this song. and even Daughtry put me to sleep.
Weetabix : that's right
I forgot about that
Pie : BECAUSE THIS SONG SUCKS.
QT also thinks this song sucks. Matt thinks it's a beautifully written song.
Weetabix : really? did he say that? I love QT
Pie : not in so many words...I was reading between the lines
Weetabix : I always believed that he and Margaret Cho really truly belong together
I don't know who QT is dating/married to now. I hope it's Uma Thurman's feet.
Pie : "Matt" is making dumb faces and enjoys this song more than anyone else on earth, including Bryan Adams and Michael Bolton.
and I bet he wishes he was married to Uma Thurman's feet.
Weetabix : I am trying to supress this song as it is unfolding, I loath is so much.
Also, his voice is shaky and weird.
Pie : me too. let's talk about something else! anything!
so, my toenail polish is navy blue.
Weetabix : The Captain has given up and gone to bed. I've stayed up too late for his taste.
Oooh! Fancy!
Pie : I have new dry erase markers.
Weetabix : Mine is a salmon, and in dire need of a polish.
Are they juicy?
Pie : I HATE YOU FOR PICKING THIS SONG, MATT.
it is over. I will vote him off with my time machine.
Weetabix : I see Paula is politely clapping.
Pie : Randy says it was "interesting"
that it started off cool, but then was "pitchy"
and he said you "can't do all of that stuff" with a simple song
and the audience isn't even booing
Weetabix : WHAT STUFF?!? SUCKING?
Pie : Kara didn't lke it either
but she is saying more words than necessary to get that across, as usual
and clearly he CAN suck with that song.
okay, I have no more buffer left
Weetabix : I would prefer "Matt" be gone over Anoop, quite honestly
Pie : so now I am watching the commercials
me too, Anoop is improving, and "Matt" is boring me
Weetabix : especially since while technically, "Matt" probably has a better voice or at least gives a better performance, at least Anoop doesn't bore the hell out of me

DANNY GOKEY
"Endless Love" from the movie Endless Love

Pie : Danny is dressed like Miami Vice
Weetabix : the entire show? Including the vice lords and the pimps?
Pie : QT mentoring Danny, who is singing another boring ass ballad, "Endless Love"
yes, and the speedboat and the palm trees
Weetabix : what's up with the ballads!!
Pie : he is dressed like all of it
Weetabix : so, I was really hoping Titanic would make an appearance in this show
and also, Mamma Mia
Pie : QT is saying if he doesn't move his fingers and toes, the power will come out of his eyes. oh, QT, you are kind of crazy.
Weetabix : just because I love me some Abba
Pie : Adam should have done My Heart Will Go On
Weetabix : ha! I love QT.
totes
Pie : there needs to be an Abba night, but I am not convinced Abba would co-sign that.
Weetabix : and "Matt" should have done a number out of "From Justin To Kelly"
Pie : I like the harp. I actually like this song, as far as ballads go.
but it's a duet... so.... um....
Weetabix : I'm not sure what to make of that prolonged arty shot of Danny through the harp strings? Are they saying that Danny is going to be put in jail?
This is a hard song to do in Karaoke Revolution
Pie : yeah because it's not clear which key you're supposed to be singing in
Weetabix : and the answer, as we have found, is c) neither. Sing somewhere in the middle.
Pie : Danny is singing this passionately! I think it's pretty good, and "Matt" is in trouble.
more symbolic harp strings.
Weetabix : it's definitely better than "Matt", whom I would like to see go if only so that I didn't have to keep typing quotation marks all the time.
Pie : Paula wasn't sure that the key should have been lowered, but midway through, she felt the magic.
sparkle sparkle
Weetabix : oh, I was feeling a little magic. Maybe some Lucky Charms-worth of magic
Pie : Simon said he can't fault him for the way he sang it, but was disappointed by the traditional version of the song, and the harp, as opposed to Cookie's "Hello" which was a Lionel Richie song that Cookie did something with and made it his own

KRIS ALLEN
"Falling Slowly" from Once

Weetabix : well, that's a good point. Cookie's "Hello" was for me the highlight of that season (although his song from Phantom of the Opera was also up there)
Pie : except I have commercials first
Weetabix : paused on disembodied hand playing a guitar
Pie : I loved his "Billie Jean" also, but yeah. "Hello" was great, and I love that song anyway.
Weetabix : right now, I'm thinking that Adam was the top, followed by Danny. I disliked "Matt" and I suspect Allison may also be in trouble
we have Lil and Kris to go, though
Pie : I am betting on Matt to be gone. but we'll see how Kris and Ley-ull do.
okay back from commercials
I am so happy about Kris's song choice!
"Falling Slowly" from Once which is A PHENOMENAL MOVIE.
Weetabix : I don't think I know this movie or song
what is Once about? When did it come out?
Pie : this song won an Oscar last year
it is A MAGNIFICENT FILM
Weetabix : I have apparently been living under a rock.
Pie : it's Irish. about Irish songwriters. and it's fantastic.
and the song won an Oscar! and I am now paused on a guitar.
Weetabix : lovely! I'll add it to my Netflix queue
go!
Pie : you definitely should. everyone should. it is lovely.
Weetabix : oh! I've heard this song before!
Pie : Ian declares "he should stop smiling"
well sure! it won an Oscar!
I enjoy how they have the background singer harmonizing
Weetabix : I didn't watch the Oscars... I never do, except for one year when Kymm's mom was going to be on it.
this song is LOVELY
I love it
Pie : watch the movie! watch the movie! it's so great as a duet.
Weetabix : It's actually swaying my opinion about Castrochuleta
Pie : I want to vote for him just for picking that song.
Weetabix : I think I downloaded the song, perhaps, but it might be on my Not!Mac
that was really lovely
Pie : Randy did not like it. fuck off, Randy.
Weetabix : I'm not sure if America will like it but I absolutely loved that.
his eyebrows didn't even bother me
Pie : Randy thought it was pitchy even though he lovs the song.
Kara called it an "obscure" song but a great moment.
IT WON AN OSCAR, DIGUARDIO.
just because it wasn't some shitty Bryan Adams song.
hey, this show is going fast! LEY-ULL ROUNDS is next.
I hope Kris is safe, just for the principle of the thin.
thing.

LIL ROUNDS
"The Rose" from The Rose

Pie : okay, Lil is being mentored as she sings "The Rose"
and she is going to "take it more gospel" for QT, who enjoys Ley-ull.
Weetabix : I wonder if the entire audience will just get up and leave?
Pie : QT says she "does not need a bait and switch"
hee.
Weetabix : we should probably explain that joke
Pie : we should explain that joke.
ha! jinx!
go ahead, explain!
Weetabix : heee!
ok, the first night that you, I, Fu and Jake hung out together in San Francisco (without a purpose, like Journalcon), we went to The Mint, which is still my favorite karaoke place in the world
and it was getting late and then two women got up to sing a song, and then on the screen "The Rose" popped up
Pie : Ian is laughing at the melissima. this is the best she's sounded in weeks, to me.
Weetabix : and without saying anything, we all just got up, as one unit, and walked out of the bar
Pie : hee. "The Rose"... that was funny.
Weetabix : so that moment, back at the Mint, we had a rare group telepathy situation. It was beautiful.
Pie : if I recall, we got to the sidewalk outside the karaoke bar and then cracked up. it really was.
Weetabix : That is my favorite sidewalk in the entire city. Magical things happen there. It was the moment that the menage a'quatre was born!
Pie : and now I am listening to this twice.
it's like the opposite of that moment.
Weetabix : This is very good
Pie : it is! I agree!
yay Ley-ull!
Weetabix : with the exception that the two ladies at The Mint were really truly awful and this was lovely
what do the judges have to say?
Pie : Paula loves the song, which is by "Amanda McBroom"
and "the road is long, but worthwhile taking"
Simon is confused by Paula but thinks Lil is getting it wrong, it was too "soft" and "middle of the road"
"you are not the artist I believe we met seven or eight weeks ago... I am getting frustrated."
Lil is now saying she put her gospel twist on the song and tried to make it her own
Weetabix : huh
Pie : she is defending herself eloquently
Weetabix : I totally got the gospel thing
Pie : I thought it was easily the best she's done in a long time, and I don't know what Simon wants from her if that wasn't it, you know?

RECAP!

and I am sticking with my "Matt" prediction, which I made before I even heard "Matt" sing.
Weetabix : I think that's a sound one, but I think Allison may be in trouble
Pie : I think if Allison gets voted off, they'll save her.
Weetabix : I'm checking Dial Idol and right now, it's too close to call
Castrochuleta and "Matt" are on the bottom, but everyone is within the margin of error
Allison is third
from the bottom
Danny and Lil are on top
Pie : Castrochuleta CANNOT GET VOTED OFF
Weetabix : not for that song. It was really lovely.
Pie : exactly. otherwise people will pick shitty songs for every movies night! and not be daring!
Weetabix : totally! They'll pick stupid Bryan Adams songs every time!
The world cannot handle that.
What have you done America?
Pie : do not do this, America! reward the lovely and awesome song from Once!
Weetabix : Please, America!

Weetapidol out!


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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kris was it for me tonight. I was pretty bored with the rest. "Once" is an AWESOME MOVIE! I was stoked he did this song. (Randy was smokin some crack, dog)

I, too, was hoping for some Abba and second the idea of an Abba themed night. Ooh that would totally rule.

Disco week next week. Oh my!

Shari

12:40 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

I saw Forrest Gump three times in the theater.

I vowed on my Twitter that I would vote all night for any AI contestant that sings "Shadow Dancing". I am reiterating that promise. Even if it is Lil, whom I dislike more and more every week.

1:07 PM  
Blogger mo pie said...

Oh, I liked Forrest Gump, I just thought Pulp Fiction was a far more important/influential movie, and should have won!

We were having a disco singalong last night... I decided the song I most want to hear is "Tragedy."

1:09 PM  
Blogger Kelly S. said...

I think Lil is going to sing Last Dance and sink her own boat next week...didn't Tamyra Gray do that? Adam is going to do something AWESOME, I can just feel it! And I am getting very annoyed with Danny Gokey. Maybe next week he'll tank, and the judges won't be able to save him since they used it on Boring Matt...that would be an awesome twist...Matt AND Danny going home, hee!!!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Gila said...

I'm so with you on Once - anyone who hasn't seen it must rent it immediately!

I think Lil and Matt will be gone next week. I wanted Lil to go far, but she just hasn't lived up to what seemed to be great potential.

8:49 AM  

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