Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Top 5 Results

...will unfortunately have to wait, as I have a bunch of work to do tonight and Pie's sister and cousin are in town. I am recording the show, however, and we will dutifully blog it in the next few days. Stay alive! No matter what occurs!


Blogger bowling with no panties said...

I can do it with minimum detail:

Paula looked slightly less adorned but almost as drunk.

Ryan is obsequious as ever. Dunkelman's Ghost was abset. He replays clips from the previous night's performances to kill time.

Ryan then asks them all how the competition has changed (read: if they hate each other's guts yet)now that there's only 5 left.

They all lie and say no, even though they all want to win. He tells them that the remaining 4 will be flown immediately to Graceland where they will be immersed in everything Elvis and hang out with Tommy Mottolla who will most likely propose to Katherine McPhee telling her he'll make her "BIGGER THAN MARIAH". Her handlers from the Scientology Center won't allow this to happen since they're grooming her to carry the inseminated thawed seed of L. Ron Hubbard after she's infiltrated America's pop sensibilities.

The Five then get up and sing the LAMEST SONG EVER -- "Together We Are One" -- it was like something out of one of those high school movies where at the end all the leading characters make up tearfully and sing a song in 5 part harmonies with backup "Ahhhs" and "Ooohs" while each kid gets a chance to sing a few lines. Suddenly they were surrounded by a low-key gospel choir. Did they write this just for the Idols? Because if they did, it was a sad undertaking. The song seemed to go on forever but it must have ended because they were sitting back down and Ryan was trying to be suspenseful.

He let Taylor and Chris off the hook right away. He then told Paris she was in the bottom two and made her sing Kiss. Then Elliot and Katherine were holding hands in terror as he made them wait for the commercial break.

He told Kat she was safe and made Elliot sing "On Broadway"...which he sang with even more passion and feeling because I think he thought it was him who was out.

Ryan made Elliot and Paris stand there like tools and then told Elliot to sit down. Elliot hugged Paris really tightly, and I have decided that Elliot has to be a quality human being -- seriously, I think he might a really genuine nice guy. Too bad he won't win.

They played "Had A Bad Day" and we watched her video clip. Paris managed NOT to cry!

She sang "Without You" and the other four joined her on stage and danced with her.

I'll miss her. I thought she had a lot of fun energy and now the only girl left is McBeaver --- Tom Cruise's Belief in Scientology!!!!

6:33 AM  

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