Weetapidol Weetapidol: The Top 12
Weet: hi! are you home and settled? (I know you're home)
Mo Pie: just about… I have no phone, by the way. my cell phone is gone, my laptop is dead…
god knows what will happen next
Weet: we type, and your roof will cave in, and your tv will explode, etc etc
Mo Pie: actually my garbage disposal just broke! so I think that's three… so I should be okay!
And So It Begins…
Mo Pie: Ryan in a corridor of orange-lit Idols
Weet: so, you cheated on this performance show… I am going in cold, let it be known
Mo Pie: I did cheat
Weet: cheater cheaty pants
Mo Pie: how do you know I cheated? HOW DID YOU KNOW? I meant to hide my cheating.
Weet: you mentioned it on Twitter or something
Mo Pie: aw hell.
Weet: the significant other ALWAYS KNOWS
Mo Pie: I had to watch, I had to mine data in order to make my pool picks!
Weet: I did not mine data. I'm hoping that makes me fresher and more accurate! And not full of fail, as I have been traditionally
Mo Pie: probably... I think I overthought it.
Weet: I tend to pick as I think they SHOULD be, which is always wrong, because last year, I put Kris Allen off, like, 10th
Mo Pie: poor Kris. I don't think anyone saw that one coming last year.
Weet: No.
Mo Pie: I think I may have gone the other way and really overrated Tim. he feels like the "person who will be around for what seems like fucking forever" this season, so watch, he gets eliminated tonight.
Weet: Ellen always looks like she just wandered in from the back lot by accident
Mo Pie: Shmuel is the one who keeps coming in last. I'm hoping this'll be his year!
Weet: screw Shmuel! BIX FOR THE WIN!
Weet: who is the girl with the Doc Martens?
Mo Pie: um... Lady McRando
Weet: she's going for the quirky vote, against weird hair vintage girl? I think it was Siobhan Magnus, but it went by very fast.
Mo Pie: that might be Siobhan Magnus who I have decided to root for as her name is cool.
Weet: they are talking blah blah Rolling Stones. Mo Pie: I feel so meh about the Rolling Stones. I care almost not at all about them.
Weet: so: a bit of a Weetabix secret: I actually don't like the Stones very much, but more than I like The Who
Mo Pie: I feel equally meh about The Who.
Weet: I loathe The Who… I make Esteban fast forward through all CSI intros because I hate those songs so much
Mo Pie: classic rock isn't really my thing I guess.. though I do love the Doors. I aDoor them!
Michael Lynche, “Miss You”
Weet: I fear I may have overrated Michael, but I like him… Reuben Lite
Mo Pie: I probably underrated him, I think I put him like eighth or something. I just am not feeling the fanbase for him, despite his adorable wife and new baby.
Weet: his adorable wife is adorable! Oh, his baby is adorable too! is that why Kara was annoyingly crying last week? because she's not his adorable mother of his adorable child?
Mo Pie: you're trying to bait me into talking about Kara. this will not work!
Weet: Ok, I really do like Michael… he's only started singing the first two lines and I'm swayed. I love his falsetto.
Mo Pie: I like him too! Ian, who knows these songs somewhat, said "this song has no personality, but he's giving it personality."
Weet: I am always such a sucker for the linebacker types.
Mo Pie: hee. I want to make a Blind Side joke right here, but that seems wrong.
Weet: it does seem wrong.
Mo Pie: especially since I almost made an Obama joke about his half-white baby.
Weet: DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed by the Weetapidolers do not reflect those of Weetapidol as a whole
Mo Pie: I think race based jokes should be saved for the Top 11 show. they seem wrong in the Top 12.
Weet: yes, but this Top 12? Is the whitey whitiest Top 12 ever
Mo Pie: especially since Paige is toast, I think.
Weet: yes, I'm worried about her. I like her a lot. and of course, you have inside information BECAUSE YOU CHEATED.
Mo Pie: I do not have inside information about Paige! I don't think she's going home this week. I just don't see her sticking around… I'm starting to think Elton John had a point.
Weet: what was his point?
Mo Pie: he was the one who said the show was racist when J. Hud got eliminated. which was ridiculous. Weet: Well, it was racist. That week, only the three black girls were in the bottom.
Mo Pie: that's not racist though. it's because they all had similar styles and split the vote! and J. Hud was shouty and crazy-eyed when she was on the show.
Weet: Simon thinks Mike was corny! Ok, yeah, whatever, but I still liked it. woo, a bit of sexual tension between Simon and Ryan!
Mo Pie: gay jokes are in Top 10 week. TOO SOON.
Weet: I'm sorry, I clearly lost the pre-printed agenda!!! Which week is the short Ryan week?
Mo Pie: that's every week.
Didi Benami, “Play With Fire”
Mo Pie: paused on Ryan Raps And Is Short… Didi is sitting on a stool, but Ryan is standing up.
Weet: I don't know what is going on with Didi Benami's hair, I'm not sure I cosign yet
Mo Pie: it is floaty and shiny! I enjoy it.
Weet: it's lopsided.
Mo Pie: I vote yes.
Weet: She was a cute child, but this is what I think I don't like about her. She's always in a rictus grin, even when she's talking. It's unnatural.
Mo Pie: see, and I think she's way more natural than that Lacey person. who is fakey fake fake
Weet: I think we're debating degrees of fakey fake. I do enjoy her boots though.
Mo Pie: I kind of like the tone of her voice... did we already talk about her being Sara Bareilles-like? and you said she was like Maria Something?
Weet: Maria Taylor, but you're right about Sara Bareilles. I do not care for this performance.
Mo Pie: I find this performance hard to judge because I don't know the song, but she hit a bum note in there and is making a strange face.
Weet: imagine it screeched by Mick Jaggar. and it doesn't really matter, it can't stand on its own legs
Mo Pie: true
Weet: Please note this: I do not object to Randy's sweater tonight! in fact, I kind of want it.
Mo Pie: well it would look way better on you!
Weet: aw, you're schmoopie
Mo Pie: on him it looks kind of like he's a host at a themed restaurant
Weet: poor Randy. Always attributed to a variety of uniforms
Mo Pie: maybe Randy just has the aura of being in the customer service industry.
Weet: while being active in various group extracurriculars, such as acappella groups
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weet: Kara is wearing some kind of aboriginal breast plate situation
Mo Pie: that is a situation. I heartily agree that is a situation.
Casey James, “It’s All Over Now”
Weet: your boyfriend! He's such a goober. I'm sorry, I don't see it
Mo Pie: well, provisional. provisional boyfriend.
Weet: . Also, his mom was totally a bar fly… or an Ozzy Osbourne groupie
Mo Pie: he's not even in the same arena as Daughtry or Lambert. he needs to sing a good song for that. but one good performance and I could be pushed over the edge.
Mo Pie: will this be the one!?!?!
Mo Pie: (spoiler: no)
Weet: I like his shirt.
Mo Pie: he has fluffy hair also.
Weet: so, his thing is that he's kind of country? or kountry?
Mo Pie: well, kountry is very popular!
Weet: we haven't had a country boy yet… DEMOGRAPHIC THEORY
Mo Pie: apparently 7 out of 8 of the Idols have been southern, did you know that?
Weet: whoa, that's crazy
Mo Pie: I threw my demographic theory out the window after two years of white guy/white guy finales.
Weet: which means we're due for a non-white non-boy (COME ON PAIGE)
Mo Pie: I love Ellen's lesbian joke! I thought they would make her pretend not to be a lesbian.
Weet: uh, not even Simon Cowell has that much power
Mo Pie: hahaha
Weet: everyone knows and accepts that Ellen likes the ladies… I love that she's on AI, actually.
Mo Pie: no but I mean "it's a family show!"... they could have been uptight about it. But I am glad too. I find her delightful.
Weet: well, she was just tongue in cheek (vagina)(sorry) about it and said "people like me....blondes"
Mo Pie: [silence]
Weet: are you busily voting for Casey right now?
Mo Pie: I'm voting for Casey with my vagina
Weet: I had no idea that your vagina could dial or text
Lacey Brown, “Ruby Tuesday”
Mo Pie: oh no, Lacey is southern…from Texas.
Weet: we should probably worry
Mo Pie: AAAH. I am worried.
Weet: SHE JUST PICKED HER NOSE ON THE VIDEO FLASHBACK
did you see that?
Mo Pie: thank god, no I did not.
Weet: they pulled her hand away quickly but the kid was going to pick her nose
how many tattoos do you think Lacey has?
Mo Pie: ugh, she annoys me. she has a tattoo of a hummingbird on her ankle, I bet. or some STUPID CRAP LIKE THAT.
Weet: and a tramp stamp… a dolphin.
Mo Pie: obvs, a dolphin!
Weet: two dolphins forming a yin-yang symbol!
Mo Pie: my sister has a yin-yang tramp stamp, so I try not to judge.
Weet: but is Caroline's tramp stamp made of DOLPHINS? therein lies the difference.
Mo Pie: it is not.
Weet: I really don't like Lacey’s voice. this is totally about the potential for the package deal… she's got a look, but totally no talent
Mo Pie: I just think she's so calculating... she comes across so, so contrived.
Weet: she's got an AWFUL voice
Mo Pie: and her voice is annoying. I don't know, she's similar enough to Didi that I feel like I'm being inconsistent in liking Didi okay but hating Lacey. and yet there it is.
Weet: Didi actually has a better voice, more control…. that end bit? yucky
Mo Pie: "you kinda held it together," says Randy.
Weet: "you didn't shit the bed, so ok dawg"
Mo Pie: hee.
Weet: "sleepy"... good word, Ellen!I think Kara likes being third because she can see how the panel is swaying
Mo Pie: SIMON! YES! Simon says she's like an actress and everything seems "very thought through"!! I AGREE, SIMON.
Weet: nicely done
Andrew Garcia, “Gimme Shelter”
Weet: Oh, I love Andy's father and mother! She's actually wearing leopard! That just happened!
Mo Pie: I do enjoy the leopard!
Weet: His father has tattoos on his knuckles! Oh awesome, his wife's hair is GINORMOUS
Mo Pie: I like Andrew... when I was placing him in the pool it was tough. I can see him going really soon, but I can also see him having a Moment and lasting more!
Weet: I want him to persevere! But I feel that America will see the neck tattoo and say "Uh uh."
Mo Pie: I know this song? I think it's on Rock Band?
Weet: It's old. Everyone knows this song.
Mo Pie: does he have a nose ring? so do like half the girls I think.
Weet: Yes, he has a stud
Mo Pie: it is the Year of the Nose Ring! and I don't often know some of these classic songs.
Weet: you had a sheltered childhood
Mo Pie: we listened to Julio Iglesias and Dolly Parton. and Dutch things. and that performance was boring, I feel.
Weet: yeah, I want to like him but meh. When Randy tells you that he loves you, he's about to piss in your Cheerios.
Mo Pie: I want to like him too! I've been liking him. I love how Ellen's like, fuck it, I liked it!
Weet: yes, she's awesome. She's like "Hey, it doesn't matter what we say, so screw y'all, I'm going for fan favorite!"
Mo Pie: now Kara's making... a good.... point? I have to go find a cold compress and recline on my fainting couch. I have to say I agree with Kara on this, that connecting with the song is good.
Weet: Wait, "you weren't in Vietnam so you shouldn't have chosen that"? What if it's the gang wars, Kara? WHAT ABOUT THAT?
Mo Pie: hahah
Weet: Kara makes a face at the end of her critiques that is like something you'd see on SNL, paired with a "wah waaaa" noise… it's a Kristin Wiig face
Mo Pie: Kara IS a "wah waaaa" noise.
Katie Stevens, “Wild Horses”
Weet: Katie is bluh bluh
Mo Pie: I like Katie's little summery dress
Weet: yes, that is cute. Have the Stones even had a hit since Katie has been alive?
Mo Pie: you say Rolling Stones and my mind just goes blank. I just am emptied of the ability to care about the question.
Weet: Well, that's because the Rolling Stones is irrelevant to our generation… but to old people, they're like U2. (buh bye all Weetapidol readers over the age of 45)
Mo Pie: U2! I now understand. WHERE IS U2 NIGHT??
Weet: Hopefully it's during Gay Joke week
Mo Pie: hahaha. well played.
Mo Pie: oh, Katie is singing. and is lit angelically. are they trying to save her?
Weet: she really is… maybe she died
Weet: also, Wild Horses is a great song, but I actually like the Sundays cover better than the original… I'm serious, go download the Sundays' version of this song, it's awesome.
Mo Pie: I will. this version isn't doing anything for me.
Weet: I think this song was also featured in a Buffy episode, early on
but again, not the Stones' version
Mo Pie: Ian has a disturbing breadth of knowledge about songs featured on Buffy, so I will find out.
Weet: Katie’s angelically lit because she's sucking the life out of the room. Also, her tongue is weirdly colored, like maybe she's getting sick, or needs a tongue scraper when she brushes. Good oral hygiene is underrated on American Idol.
Mo Pie: I don't want to think that hard about her tongue. or Randy's friendship beads, which he's broken out again. I will, however, spend some time thinking about Ellen's cravat.
Weet: is it really a cravat? It seems long. Isn't there a length requirement for cravat-age?
Mo Pie: I have no idea... I guess I just didn't know what else to call it!
Weet: Speaking of oral hygiene, have you ever noticed that Kara has got pretty giant bunny teeth?
Mo Pie: bunny teeth! that oddly makes me like her more.
Tim Urban, “Under My Thumb”
Mo Pie: this kid looks like one of my students, except I can't figure out which one
Weet: wait, he bitches because he had ten kids in his family but it's five sisters and one shower? What about his four brothers? STEREOTYPING BULLSHIT
Mo Pie: his brothers all shower at once, because it's manlier! (perhaps I should save that joke for Flowers in the Attic week)
Weet: that's going to be the BEST WEEK
Mo Pie: it sure is! color all weeks blue but save one for AWESOME.
Weet: He's got strangely outsized features… It works on TV, but I think in person he may be offputting
Mo Pie: I think this kid is going to stick around, in spite of the fact that he can't really sing.
Weet: Agreed, he's the Jason Castro, He's very likable
Mo Pie: he is the Castro. absolutely. you just want to squeeze his little face.
Weet: he's also got very pretty eyes and amazing eyelashes… that hair plays up his Josh Hartnett In Virgin Suicides good looks
Mo Pie: Ian says he head all about Idol on the radio and nobody liked this performance.
Weet: what station is Ian listening to?!
Mo Pie: I love Ellen's "felt like I was at a resort drinking a pina colada." that's basically Jason Castro's entire raison d'etre, to make you feel that way.
Weet: very much, although Castro got by on the skin of his testicles by having two really good performances when he needed them
Mo Pie: also, did Kara just call Ellen and Randy "the guys"?
Weet: she did that earlier too… I'm sure that she would say it's non-gendered, but she never called Randy and Paula "the guys"
Mo Pie: no, I don't recall that she did.
Siobhan Magnus, “Paint It Black”
Weet: I do enjoy Siobhan's little quirky geek girl glasses… holy crap, she really does have a huge family. was she homeschooled?!?!
Mo Pie: oh deara god, I hope not.
Weet: this kid screams homeschooling to me
Mo Pie: she's very cute, though. I do enjoy her.
Weet: wow, that flashback to Aretha week was impressive… maybe I underrated Siobhan. she's legitmately quirky
Mo Pie: she seems so much more geniune than Lacey even though they're basically the same! it freaks me out.
Weet: aw, I liked her glasses, and she is too "pretty pretty" right now. She's got an Edward Gorey tattoo... how old is she?
Mo Pie: she does? okay, that's super cute.
Weet: Wow, I am now solidly in the Siobhan camp… that last note
Mo Pie: I think that note was not so great.
Weet: I liked the whole thing… it was a wow thing for me (I'm using my words!)
Mo Pie: but I do like Siobhan and also her name is Magnus. MAGNUS!!!
[Note to Weetapidol readers: our dear friend Jen’s new and very cute baby is named Magnus.]
Mo Pie: I ranked her first! so I think you should vote for her.
Weet: She's got a bit of a snaggle tooth going on and it makes me like her more! the camera was like "oh, look at her quirky footwear!"
Mo Pie: they are comparing her to Adam Lamberrrrrr.
Weet: Kara compared her to Adam Lamberrrr… jinx!
Mo Pie: hee! total jinx.
Weet: if she was thinking ahead, she would have saved the Cinderella thing for a few weeks from now
Lee DeWyze, “B east of Burden”
Mo Pie: who the hell is this guy?
Weet: BJ NOVAK
Mo Pie: oh yeah.
Weet: Oh my god, I've been to Mount Prospect! That's right by my Shermer office
Mo Pie: so he's not southern. FORGET IT. NEXT.
Weet: he's a pseudo Chicago boy… but really, it's not Chicago. and Ryan playing the sympathy card…
Mo Pie: yeah… "he's so nervous, y'all!"
Weet: Hmm... Beast of Burden not a good choice, this one has been SO overdone
Mo Pie: I don't know this song… I knew Paint It Black, and that one from Rock Band
Weet: I believe Bette Midler sang this one with Mick Jaggar in the 70's
Mo Pie: YAWN
Weet: yeah
Mo Pie: bored now, Lee DeWyze
Weet: the song itself is lame… wait, I was wrong: Bette Midler COVERED it, better than Mick Jaggar, in my opinion
Mo Pie: I'll have to go listen to that
Weet: Oh my god, Ellen just basically said he was exposing his seam… and seriously, is Bowersox in the pimp spot again?
Mo Pie: is she? are we almost done, finally? because that would be awesome. 12 people is a lot of people.
Weet: Indeed
Mo Pie: oh, we need Paige too
Weet: oh right, Paige
even I've forgotten about her and I like her!
Mo Pie: yeah, that's a bad sign… then again, we did first mention her about seven hours ago
Paige Miles, “Honky Tonk Woman”
Weet: Paige is from the south!
Mo Pie: you're trying to make Paige happen. I don't think Paige is going to happen.
Weet: Mo Pie: she's cute as a button. I hope she sticks around.
Weet: Nice blonde lady sticking Ryan's face in her armpit
Mo Pie: what song is this?
Weet: Honky Tonk Woman, maybe?
Mo Pie: I want to hear her sing in church. I love church singing!
Weet: I do too. is the leather arm band the new wallet chain? Her outfit is cute but curious… she's also wearing some kind of weird leather tourniquet around her neck
Mo Pie: I like her jumpsuit shorts and leather bracelet.
Weet: I do enjoy the jumpsuit and boots combo! she's delightful. vote, America! don't be RACIST
Mo Pie: go Paige go!
Weet: Randy doesn't call Ellen "Ellen" but rather "E"… like she's Elvis
Mo Pie: I adore Randy's use of "E"
Weet: wow, total backhanded compliments from Kara... "from someone who was struggling? For someone who has kind of a sucky voice? I have to applaud you for this. Since you sucked so bad before and stuff."
Mo Pie: hahaha. Kara sucks.
Weet: Aw, Paige is just ADORABLE
Mo Pie: she really is
Weet: How can America not love her!?
Mo Pie: cute as a button. LOVE HER, AMERICA.
Aaron Kelly, “Angie”
Weet: his mom's name is KELLY KELLY! that? Is awesome.
Mo Pie: are you sure? it is? srsly??
Weet: yes, do you want to stop and go back? because it is KELLY KELLY
Mo Pie: no, I believe you.
Weet: I did a double take
Mo Pie: that just makes me think of the Cheers episode. Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly…
Weet: it would be a dream for his mom, Kelly Kelly
Mo Pie: now what is this song?
Weet: “Angie”… was that a joke? Because this really is like the Kelly Kelly Kelly song, only with Angie
Mo Pie: no... I thought he was singing "MJ"!
Weet: bwahaha!
Mo Pie: but now that you point it out, yes, it is basically the Kelly Kelly Kelly song! also I am pretending he is singing it to Michael Jackson
Weet: When Mick Jagger sang it, he did give it extra syllables. Maybe he really was singing it to himself, MJ! OH M J.
Mo Pie: sorry, Aaron Kelly, but Tim Urban has the adorable bland kid vote all sewn up.
Weet: this is true. America needs someone who has gone through puberty, I'm sorry to say
Mo Pie: David Archuleta notwithstanding?
Weet: he doesn't have the Osmond factor that Archuleta had… also, Archuleta didn't have a mom named Archuleta Archuleta
Mo Pie: hahah. if only!!
Weet: Also, he just did votey hands, which means he is dead to me.
Crystal Bowersox, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
Weet: Crystal is in the pimp spot again… SHENANIGANS
Mo Pie: I do like her. also she's a songwriter like DAUGHTRY! but I fear she's destined to be the peaks-early, shocking boot.
Weet: maybe
Mo Pie: hence me putting her fourth.
Weet: aw, her dad teared up! that's adorable
Mo Pie: that is super cute.
Weet: she has a good look
Mo Pie: and I like this song! I know this song! oh, it was on Glee. hee. no wonder.
Weet: I'm vaguely disturbed that you know two songs, and only because they're featured on various pop culture references… you've never heard them in the wild
Mo Pie: no, I think I'd heard this song... but actually I think because it was on the Forrest Gump soundtrack?
Weet: not in the wild
Mo Pie: no. okay, nevermind.
Weet: that's like a zoo for music…a soundtrack=a zoo
Mo Pie: ?? okay!
Weet: I like Crystal, but I now worry that I like her because they WANT me to like her
She reminds me a bit of Kirstin Dunst, if Kirstin Dunst had dreds
Mo Pie: I do think she's incredibly authentic, and talented, and I like her.
Weet: I bet that she and Lacey don't get along in the AI house
Mo Pie: she's like the anti-Lacey… I hope she and Paige have a club
Weet: Lacey wants to be the quirky one and is trying to figure out how to Nancy Kerrigan Crystal and Siobhan
Mo Pie: heh. aw, she just said "Siobhan was amazing" and is being very humble.
Weet: yes, it makes me like her even more!
Mo Pie: GRASSY KNOLL: the judges keep saying "well you think you've got it all sewn up" and stuff… I love Crystal because she'll come out and say "uh, no, I don't think that." thereby unmasking the machinations of the judges!
Weet: which... is that supposed to be the AI PTB making us dislike her? and like Siobhan who has a more compelling Cinderella story?
Mo Pie: maybe so!!! we'll have to be vigilant about this.
Weet: We will cry shenanigans! Just like when we uncovered the Chris Lights phenomenon
Mo Pie: VIGILANCE.
Predictions and Results
Mo Pie: I put Lacey last, I fear it could also be Andrew, and maybe Aaron.
Weet: predictions: Not!Archuleta and god I hope Lacey Brown. Wait are there two or one tonight?
Mo Pie: no, it's only one… we're in the real show now.
Weet: then I hope Lacey. .. I predicted Lacey in my pool picks, which probably means that she stays
Mo Pie: I predicted her too though. let's go find out! you should go find out. since I cheated on the show you can discover the results.
Weet: I'm going to find out
[Weetabix searches]
Weet: it is a happy day in America… according to Twitter… Lacey Brown got walked
Mo Pie: YES!
Weet: Woo!
Mo Pie: I love how Twitter is now the go-to source.
Weet: talk about a Hive Mind
Mo Pie: no kidding
Weet: I'm happy about this turn of events… now Siobhan and Bowersox can sleep soundly tonight
Mo Pie: a lot of our pool players nailed it... I'm curious to see what the Weetapidol Hive Mind picks are, and how the points shake out! Speaking of a hive mind.
do you want to do the points post after you do the spreadsheet?
Weet: I will get it posted at some point tomorrow
Mo Pie: lovely… I will format this chat and make it go!
Weet: Weetapidol out!
Mo Pie: goodnight!
Mo Pie: just about… I have no phone, by the way. my cell phone is gone, my laptop is dead…
god knows what will happen next
Weet: we type, and your roof will cave in, and your tv will explode, etc etc
Mo Pie: actually my garbage disposal just broke! so I think that's three… so I should be okay!
And So It Begins…
Mo Pie: Ryan in a corridor of orange-lit Idols
Weet: so, you cheated on this performance show… I am going in cold, let it be known
Mo Pie: I did cheat
Weet: cheater cheaty pants
Mo Pie: how do you know I cheated? HOW DID YOU KNOW? I meant to hide my cheating.
Weet: you mentioned it on Twitter or something
Mo Pie: aw hell.
Weet: the significant other ALWAYS KNOWS
Mo Pie: I had to watch, I had to mine data in order to make my pool picks!
Weet: I did not mine data. I'm hoping that makes me fresher and more accurate! And not full of fail, as I have been traditionally
Mo Pie: probably... I think I overthought it.
Weet: I tend to pick as I think they SHOULD be, which is always wrong, because last year, I put Kris Allen off, like, 10th
Mo Pie: poor Kris. I don't think anyone saw that one coming last year.
Weet: No.
Mo Pie: I think I may have gone the other way and really overrated Tim. he feels like the "person who will be around for what seems like fucking forever" this season, so watch, he gets eliminated tonight.
Weet: Ellen always looks like she just wandered in from the back lot by accident
Mo Pie: Shmuel is the one who keeps coming in last. I'm hoping this'll be his year!
Weet: screw Shmuel! BIX FOR THE WIN!
Weet: who is the girl with the Doc Martens?
Mo Pie: um... Lady McRando
Weet: she's going for the quirky vote, against weird hair vintage girl? I think it was Siobhan Magnus, but it went by very fast.
Mo Pie: that might be Siobhan Magnus who I have decided to root for as her name is cool.
Weet: they are talking blah blah Rolling Stones. Mo Pie: I feel so meh about the Rolling Stones. I care almost not at all about them.
Weet: so: a bit of a Weetabix secret: I actually don't like the Stones very much, but more than I like The Who
Mo Pie: I feel equally meh about The Who.
Weet: I loathe The Who… I make Esteban fast forward through all CSI intros because I hate those songs so much
Mo Pie: classic rock isn't really my thing I guess.. though I do love the Doors. I aDoor them!
Michael Lynche, “Miss You”
Weet: I fear I may have overrated Michael, but I like him… Reuben Lite
Mo Pie: I probably underrated him, I think I put him like eighth or something. I just am not feeling the fanbase for him, despite his adorable wife and new baby.
Weet: his adorable wife is adorable! Oh, his baby is adorable too! is that why Kara was annoyingly crying last week? because she's not his adorable mother of his adorable child?
Mo Pie: you're trying to bait me into talking about Kara. this will not work!
Weet: Ok, I really do like Michael… he's only started singing the first two lines and I'm swayed. I love his falsetto.
Mo Pie: I like him too! Ian, who knows these songs somewhat, said "this song has no personality, but he's giving it personality."
Weet: I am always such a sucker for the linebacker types.
Mo Pie: hee. I want to make a Blind Side joke right here, but that seems wrong.
Weet: it does seem wrong.
Mo Pie: especially since I almost made an Obama joke about his half-white baby.
Weet: DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed by the Weetapidolers do not reflect those of Weetapidol as a whole
Mo Pie: I think race based jokes should be saved for the Top 11 show. they seem wrong in the Top 12.
Weet: yes, but this Top 12? Is the whitey whitiest Top 12 ever
Mo Pie: especially since Paige is toast, I think.
Weet: yes, I'm worried about her. I like her a lot. and of course, you have inside information BECAUSE YOU CHEATED.
Mo Pie: I do not have inside information about Paige! I don't think she's going home this week. I just don't see her sticking around… I'm starting to think Elton John had a point.
Weet: what was his point?
Mo Pie: he was the one who said the show was racist when J. Hud got eliminated. which was ridiculous. Weet: Well, it was racist. That week, only the three black girls were in the bottom.
Mo Pie: that's not racist though. it's because they all had similar styles and split the vote! and J. Hud was shouty and crazy-eyed when she was on the show.
Weet: Simon thinks Mike was corny! Ok, yeah, whatever, but I still liked it. woo, a bit of sexual tension between Simon and Ryan!
Mo Pie: gay jokes are in Top 10 week. TOO SOON.
Weet: I'm sorry, I clearly lost the pre-printed agenda!!! Which week is the short Ryan week?
Mo Pie: that's every week.
Didi Benami, “Play With Fire”
Mo Pie: paused on Ryan Raps And Is Short… Didi is sitting on a stool, but Ryan is standing up.
Weet: I don't know what is going on with Didi Benami's hair, I'm not sure I cosign yet
Mo Pie: it is floaty and shiny! I enjoy it.
Weet: it's lopsided.
Mo Pie: I vote yes.
Weet: She was a cute child, but this is what I think I don't like about her. She's always in a rictus grin, even when she's talking. It's unnatural.
Mo Pie: see, and I think she's way more natural than that Lacey person. who is fakey fake fake
Weet: I think we're debating degrees of fakey fake. I do enjoy her boots though.
Mo Pie: I kind of like the tone of her voice... did we already talk about her being Sara Bareilles-like? and you said she was like Maria Something?
Weet: Maria Taylor, but you're right about Sara Bareilles. I do not care for this performance.
Mo Pie: I find this performance hard to judge because I don't know the song, but she hit a bum note in there and is making a strange face.
Weet: imagine it screeched by Mick Jaggar. and it doesn't really matter, it can't stand on its own legs
Mo Pie: true
Weet: Please note this: I do not object to Randy's sweater tonight! in fact, I kind of want it.
Mo Pie: well it would look way better on you!
Weet: aw, you're schmoopie
Mo Pie: on him it looks kind of like he's a host at a themed restaurant
Weet: poor Randy. Always attributed to a variety of uniforms
Mo Pie: maybe Randy just has the aura of being in the customer service industry.
Weet: while being active in various group extracurriculars, such as acappella groups
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weet: Kara is wearing some kind of aboriginal breast plate situation
Mo Pie: that is a situation. I heartily agree that is a situation.
Casey James, “It’s All Over Now”
Weet: your boyfriend! He's such a goober. I'm sorry, I don't see it
Mo Pie: well, provisional. provisional boyfriend.
Weet: . Also, his mom was totally a bar fly… or an Ozzy Osbourne groupie
Mo Pie: he's not even in the same arena as Daughtry or Lambert. he needs to sing a good song for that. but one good performance and I could be pushed over the edge.
Mo Pie: will this be the one!?!?!
Mo Pie: (spoiler: no)
Weet: I like his shirt.
Mo Pie: he has fluffy hair also.
Weet: so, his thing is that he's kind of country? or kountry?
Mo Pie: well, kountry is very popular!
Weet: we haven't had a country boy yet… DEMOGRAPHIC THEORY
Mo Pie: apparently 7 out of 8 of the Idols have been southern, did you know that?
Weet: whoa, that's crazy
Mo Pie: I threw my demographic theory out the window after two years of white guy/white guy finales.
Weet: which means we're due for a non-white non-boy (COME ON PAIGE)
Mo Pie: I love Ellen's lesbian joke! I thought they would make her pretend not to be a lesbian.
Weet: uh, not even Simon Cowell has that much power
Mo Pie: hahaha
Weet: everyone knows and accepts that Ellen likes the ladies… I love that she's on AI, actually.
Mo Pie: no but I mean "it's a family show!"... they could have been uptight about it. But I am glad too. I find her delightful.
Weet: well, she was just tongue in cheek (vagina)(sorry) about it and said "people like me....blondes"
Mo Pie: [silence]
Weet: are you busily voting for Casey right now?
Mo Pie: I'm voting for Casey with my vagina
Weet: I had no idea that your vagina could dial or text
Lacey Brown, “Ruby Tuesday”
Mo Pie: oh no, Lacey is southern…from Texas.
Weet: we should probably worry
Mo Pie: AAAH. I am worried.
Weet: SHE JUST PICKED HER NOSE ON THE VIDEO FLASHBACK
did you see that?
Mo Pie: thank god, no I did not.
Weet: they pulled her hand away quickly but the kid was going to pick her nose
how many tattoos do you think Lacey has?
Mo Pie: ugh, she annoys me. she has a tattoo of a hummingbird on her ankle, I bet. or some STUPID CRAP LIKE THAT.
Weet: and a tramp stamp… a dolphin.
Mo Pie: obvs, a dolphin!
Weet: two dolphins forming a yin-yang symbol!
Mo Pie: my sister has a yin-yang tramp stamp, so I try not to judge.
Weet: but is Caroline's tramp stamp made of DOLPHINS? therein lies the difference.
Mo Pie: it is not.
Weet: I really don't like Lacey’s voice. this is totally about the potential for the package deal… she's got a look, but totally no talent
Mo Pie: I just think she's so calculating... she comes across so, so contrived.
Weet: she's got an AWFUL voice
Mo Pie: and her voice is annoying. I don't know, she's similar enough to Didi that I feel like I'm being inconsistent in liking Didi okay but hating Lacey. and yet there it is.
Weet: Didi actually has a better voice, more control…. that end bit? yucky
Mo Pie: "you kinda held it together," says Randy.
Weet: "you didn't shit the bed, so ok dawg"
Mo Pie: hee.
Weet: "sleepy"... good word, Ellen!I think Kara likes being third because she can see how the panel is swaying
Mo Pie: SIMON! YES! Simon says she's like an actress and everything seems "very thought through"!! I AGREE, SIMON.
Weet: nicely done
Andrew Garcia, “Gimme Shelter”
Weet: Oh, I love Andy's father and mother! She's actually wearing leopard! That just happened!
Mo Pie: I do enjoy the leopard!
Weet: His father has tattoos on his knuckles! Oh awesome, his wife's hair is GINORMOUS
Mo Pie: I like Andrew... when I was placing him in the pool it was tough. I can see him going really soon, but I can also see him having a Moment and lasting more!
Weet: I want him to persevere! But I feel that America will see the neck tattoo and say "Uh uh."
Mo Pie: I know this song? I think it's on Rock Band?
Weet: It's old. Everyone knows this song.
Mo Pie: does he have a nose ring? so do like half the girls I think.
Weet: Yes, he has a stud
Mo Pie: it is the Year of the Nose Ring! and I don't often know some of these classic songs.
Weet: you had a sheltered childhood
Mo Pie: we listened to Julio Iglesias and Dolly Parton. and Dutch things. and that performance was boring, I feel.
Weet: yeah, I want to like him but meh. When Randy tells you that he loves you, he's about to piss in your Cheerios.
Mo Pie: I want to like him too! I've been liking him. I love how Ellen's like, fuck it, I liked it!
Weet: yes, she's awesome. She's like "Hey, it doesn't matter what we say, so screw y'all, I'm going for fan favorite!"
Mo Pie: now Kara's making... a good.... point? I have to go find a cold compress and recline on my fainting couch. I have to say I agree with Kara on this, that connecting with the song is good.
Weet: Wait, "you weren't in Vietnam so you shouldn't have chosen that"? What if it's the gang wars, Kara? WHAT ABOUT THAT?
Mo Pie: hahah
Weet: Kara makes a face at the end of her critiques that is like something you'd see on SNL, paired with a "wah waaaa" noise… it's a Kristin Wiig face
Mo Pie: Kara IS a "wah waaaa" noise.
Katie Stevens, “Wild Horses”
Weet: Katie is bluh bluh
Mo Pie: I like Katie's little summery dress
Weet: yes, that is cute. Have the Stones even had a hit since Katie has been alive?
Mo Pie: you say Rolling Stones and my mind just goes blank. I just am emptied of the ability to care about the question.
Weet: Well, that's because the Rolling Stones is irrelevant to our generation… but to old people, they're like U2. (buh bye all Weetapidol readers over the age of 45)
Mo Pie: U2! I now understand. WHERE IS U2 NIGHT??
Weet: Hopefully it's during Gay Joke week
Mo Pie: hahaha. well played.
Mo Pie: oh, Katie is singing. and is lit angelically. are they trying to save her?
Weet: she really is… maybe she died
Weet: also, Wild Horses is a great song, but I actually like the Sundays cover better than the original… I'm serious, go download the Sundays' version of this song, it's awesome.
Mo Pie: I will. this version isn't doing anything for me.
Weet: I think this song was also featured in a Buffy episode, early on
but again, not the Stones' version
Mo Pie: Ian has a disturbing breadth of knowledge about songs featured on Buffy, so I will find out.
Weet: Katie’s angelically lit because she's sucking the life out of the room. Also, her tongue is weirdly colored, like maybe she's getting sick, or needs a tongue scraper when she brushes. Good oral hygiene is underrated on American Idol.
Mo Pie: I don't want to think that hard about her tongue. or Randy's friendship beads, which he's broken out again. I will, however, spend some time thinking about Ellen's cravat.
Weet: is it really a cravat? It seems long. Isn't there a length requirement for cravat-age?
Mo Pie: I have no idea... I guess I just didn't know what else to call it!
Weet: Speaking of oral hygiene, have you ever noticed that Kara has got pretty giant bunny teeth?
Mo Pie: bunny teeth! that oddly makes me like her more.
Tim Urban, “Under My Thumb”
Mo Pie: this kid looks like one of my students, except I can't figure out which one
Weet: wait, he bitches because he had ten kids in his family but it's five sisters and one shower? What about his four brothers? STEREOTYPING BULLSHIT
Mo Pie: his brothers all shower at once, because it's manlier! (perhaps I should save that joke for Flowers in the Attic week)
Weet: that's going to be the BEST WEEK
Mo Pie: it sure is! color all weeks blue but save one for AWESOME.
Weet: He's got strangely outsized features… It works on TV, but I think in person he may be offputting
Mo Pie: I think this kid is going to stick around, in spite of the fact that he can't really sing.
Weet: Agreed, he's the Jason Castro, He's very likable
Mo Pie: he is the Castro. absolutely. you just want to squeeze his little face.
Weet: he's also got very pretty eyes and amazing eyelashes… that hair plays up his Josh Hartnett In Virgin Suicides good looks
Mo Pie: Ian says he head all about Idol on the radio and nobody liked this performance.
Weet: what station is Ian listening to?!
Mo Pie: I love Ellen's "felt like I was at a resort drinking a pina colada." that's basically Jason Castro's entire raison d'etre, to make you feel that way.
Weet: very much, although Castro got by on the skin of his testicles by having two really good performances when he needed them
Mo Pie: also, did Kara just call Ellen and Randy "the guys"?
Weet: she did that earlier too… I'm sure that she would say it's non-gendered, but she never called Randy and Paula "the guys"
Mo Pie: no, I don't recall that she did.
Siobhan Magnus, “Paint It Black”
Weet: I do enjoy Siobhan's little quirky geek girl glasses… holy crap, she really does have a huge family. was she homeschooled?!?!
Mo Pie: oh deara god, I hope not.
Weet: this kid screams homeschooling to me
Mo Pie: she's very cute, though. I do enjoy her.
Weet: wow, that flashback to Aretha week was impressive… maybe I underrated Siobhan. she's legitmately quirky
Mo Pie: she seems so much more geniune than Lacey even though they're basically the same! it freaks me out.
Weet: aw, I liked her glasses, and she is too "pretty pretty" right now. She's got an Edward Gorey tattoo... how old is she?
Mo Pie: she does? okay, that's super cute.
Weet: Wow, I am now solidly in the Siobhan camp… that last note
Mo Pie: I think that note was not so great.
Weet: I liked the whole thing… it was a wow thing for me (I'm using my words!)
Mo Pie: but I do like Siobhan and also her name is Magnus. MAGNUS!!!
[Note to Weetapidol readers: our dear friend Jen’s new and very cute baby is named Magnus.]
Mo Pie: I ranked her first! so I think you should vote for her.
Weet: She's got a bit of a snaggle tooth going on and it makes me like her more! the camera was like "oh, look at her quirky footwear!"
Mo Pie: they are comparing her to Adam Lamberrrrrr.
Weet: Kara compared her to Adam Lamberrrr… jinx!
Mo Pie: hee! total jinx.
Weet: if she was thinking ahead, she would have saved the Cinderella thing for a few weeks from now
Lee DeWyze, “B east of Burden”
Mo Pie: who the hell is this guy?
Weet: BJ NOVAK
Mo Pie: oh yeah.
Weet: Oh my god, I've been to Mount Prospect! That's right by my Shermer office
Mo Pie: so he's not southern. FORGET IT. NEXT.
Weet: he's a pseudo Chicago boy… but really, it's not Chicago. and Ryan playing the sympathy card…
Mo Pie: yeah… "he's so nervous, y'all!"
Weet: Hmm... Beast of Burden not a good choice, this one has been SO overdone
Mo Pie: I don't know this song… I knew Paint It Black, and that one from Rock Band
Weet: I believe Bette Midler sang this one with Mick Jaggar in the 70's
Mo Pie: YAWN
Weet: yeah
Mo Pie: bored now, Lee DeWyze
Weet: the song itself is lame… wait, I was wrong: Bette Midler COVERED it, better than Mick Jaggar, in my opinion
Mo Pie: I'll have to go listen to that
Weet: Oh my god, Ellen just basically said he was exposing his seam… and seriously, is Bowersox in the pimp spot again?
Mo Pie: is she? are we almost done, finally? because that would be awesome. 12 people is a lot of people.
Weet: Indeed
Mo Pie: oh, we need Paige too
Weet: oh right, Paige
even I've forgotten about her and I like her!
Mo Pie: yeah, that's a bad sign… then again, we did first mention her about seven hours ago
Paige Miles, “Honky Tonk Woman”
Weet: Paige is from the south!
Mo Pie: you're trying to make Paige happen. I don't think Paige is going to happen.
Weet: Mo Pie: she's cute as a button. I hope she sticks around.
Weet: Nice blonde lady sticking Ryan's face in her armpit
Mo Pie: what song is this?
Weet: Honky Tonk Woman, maybe?
Mo Pie: I want to hear her sing in church. I love church singing!
Weet: I do too. is the leather arm band the new wallet chain? Her outfit is cute but curious… she's also wearing some kind of weird leather tourniquet around her neck
Mo Pie: I like her jumpsuit shorts and leather bracelet.
Weet: I do enjoy the jumpsuit and boots combo! she's delightful. vote, America! don't be RACIST
Mo Pie: go Paige go!
Weet: Randy doesn't call Ellen "Ellen" but rather "E"… like she's Elvis
Mo Pie: I adore Randy's use of "E"
Weet: wow, total backhanded compliments from Kara... "from someone who was struggling? For someone who has kind of a sucky voice? I have to applaud you for this. Since you sucked so bad before and stuff."
Mo Pie: hahaha. Kara sucks.
Weet: Aw, Paige is just ADORABLE
Mo Pie: she really is
Weet: How can America not love her!?
Mo Pie: cute as a button. LOVE HER, AMERICA.
Aaron Kelly, “Angie”
Weet: his mom's name is KELLY KELLY! that? Is awesome.
Mo Pie: are you sure? it is? srsly??
Weet: yes, do you want to stop and go back? because it is KELLY KELLY
Mo Pie: no, I believe you.
Weet: I did a double take
Mo Pie: that just makes me think of the Cheers episode. Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly…
Weet: it would be a dream for his mom, Kelly Kelly
Mo Pie: now what is this song?
Weet: “Angie”… was that a joke? Because this really is like the Kelly Kelly Kelly song, only with Angie
Mo Pie: no... I thought he was singing "MJ"!
Weet: bwahaha!
Mo Pie: but now that you point it out, yes, it is basically the Kelly Kelly Kelly song! also I am pretending he is singing it to Michael Jackson
Weet: When Mick Jagger sang it, he did give it extra syllables. Maybe he really was singing it to himself, MJ! OH M J.
Mo Pie: sorry, Aaron Kelly, but Tim Urban has the adorable bland kid vote all sewn up.
Weet: this is true. America needs someone who has gone through puberty, I'm sorry to say
Mo Pie: David Archuleta notwithstanding?
Weet: he doesn't have the Osmond factor that Archuleta had… also, Archuleta didn't have a mom named Archuleta Archuleta
Mo Pie: hahah. if only!!
Weet: Also, he just did votey hands, which means he is dead to me.
Crystal Bowersox, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
Weet: Crystal is in the pimp spot again… SHENANIGANS
Mo Pie: I do like her. also she's a songwriter like DAUGHTRY! but I fear she's destined to be the peaks-early, shocking boot.
Weet: maybe
Mo Pie: hence me putting her fourth.
Weet: aw, her dad teared up! that's adorable
Mo Pie: that is super cute.
Weet: she has a good look
Mo Pie: and I like this song! I know this song! oh, it was on Glee. hee. no wonder.
Weet: I'm vaguely disturbed that you know two songs, and only because they're featured on various pop culture references… you've never heard them in the wild
Mo Pie: no, I think I'd heard this song... but actually I think because it was on the Forrest Gump soundtrack?
Weet: not in the wild
Mo Pie: no. okay, nevermind.
Weet: that's like a zoo for music…a soundtrack=a zoo
Mo Pie: ?? okay!
Weet: I like Crystal, but I now worry that I like her because they WANT me to like her
She reminds me a bit of Kirstin Dunst, if Kirstin Dunst had dreds
Mo Pie: I do think she's incredibly authentic, and talented, and I like her.
Weet: I bet that she and Lacey don't get along in the AI house
Mo Pie: she's like the anti-Lacey… I hope she and Paige have a club
Weet: Lacey wants to be the quirky one and is trying to figure out how to Nancy Kerrigan Crystal and Siobhan
Mo Pie: heh. aw, she just said "Siobhan was amazing" and is being very humble.
Weet: yes, it makes me like her even more!
Mo Pie: GRASSY KNOLL: the judges keep saying "well you think you've got it all sewn up" and stuff… I love Crystal because she'll come out and say "uh, no, I don't think that." thereby unmasking the machinations of the judges!
Weet: which... is that supposed to be the AI PTB making us dislike her? and like Siobhan who has a more compelling Cinderella story?
Mo Pie: maybe so!!! we'll have to be vigilant about this.
Weet: We will cry shenanigans! Just like when we uncovered the Chris Lights phenomenon
Mo Pie: VIGILANCE.
Predictions and Results
Mo Pie: I put Lacey last, I fear it could also be Andrew, and maybe Aaron.
Weet: predictions: Not!Archuleta and god I hope Lacey Brown. Wait are there two or one tonight?
Mo Pie: no, it's only one… we're in the real show now.
Weet: then I hope Lacey. .. I predicted Lacey in my pool picks, which probably means that she stays
Mo Pie: I predicted her too though. let's go find out! you should go find out. since I cheated on the show you can discover the results.
Weet: I'm going to find out
[Weetabix searches]
Weet: it is a happy day in America… according to Twitter… Lacey Brown got walked
Mo Pie: YES!
Weet: Woo!
Mo Pie: I love how Twitter is now the go-to source.
Weet: talk about a Hive Mind
Mo Pie: no kidding
Weet: I'm happy about this turn of events… now Siobhan and Bowersox can sleep soundly tonight
Mo Pie: a lot of our pool players nailed it... I'm curious to see what the Weetapidol Hive Mind picks are, and how the points shake out! Speaking of a hive mind.
do you want to do the points post after you do the spreadsheet?
Weet: I will get it posted at some point tomorrow
Mo Pie: lovely… I will format this chat and make it go!
Weet: Weetapidol out!
Mo Pie: goodnight!
posted by mo pie at 8:23 PM
2 Comments:
See? I'm already in last place! I suppose there's what to be said for consistency...
Regarding the racism angle, I complained about last season's relative homogeneity myself, but I'd note two things:
(1) 17% of the Top 12 was black, vs. about 12% of the U.S. population. (And as far as Idol winners go, the current total is 38%.)
(2) The other ten aren't exactly monolithic from an ethnic standpoint.
I think it's perfectly fine to have a preference for a more colorful lineup; I wish more than one Latino had made it myself. But it's a far cry from there to "American Idol is racist." Elton was wrong.
haha...you both just crack me up! I sat here cackling out loud through this whole post. :)
I'm one of the Old Folks, at 45, and LOVE the Stones -- I totally grew up listening to them constantly because they were my dad's favorite band. The only song I didn't know was the one Casey sang.
MoPie, you had me in stitches because the way you knew the songs (Glee, Rock Band) were things I didn't even know about...I just knew the songs from the radio. lol (However, I'm talking radio from the 70s here, when I was listening to it the most...I haven't listened to the radio since 1997 or so.)
I love Crystal -- she is my favorite, and would win if I had my way. I didn't pick her to win, though, because my faves never seem to win. ;-) I love Siobhan and Paige too -- there are more girls than guys that I like this year, actually. The only guy I really care for is Lee. The others are all okay and I don't mind watching them, but they don't strike me as the type to give a really "WOW" performance like Adam did last year.
So glad you guys are back...I missed you!
~ Wendi
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