Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Top 11 Results

[Note: Weetabix typed this entry. Please note all the exclamation points surrounding any mention of Barry Manilow. Also note the word "knewn" which is not real. --Pie]

Welcome to the results live blog! Our pool is all over the map, but Mo and Weet think Lisa is gone and DialIdol claims Elliott. Who will it be?

The Recap of yesterday:
P: Oh, Mandisa has such a pretty outfit again! Is Bucky wearing a shirt with a picture of lungs on it?
W: HE IS! Lungs!
P: Randy Jackson IS slowly regaining the weight. Red is a great color for Paula.
W: So is Percoset.
P: The Manilow!
W: Barreeeeeee! Oh, sorry, I lost control a little bit. Love Barry!
P: Kellie... in her corpse make up! I just had a tiny orgasm watching the Chris recap. Oh, Taylor and his crazy claw! I hope he stays around because I'm entertained by Taylor and his crazy claw. Paula stands up and is the same height as Simon sitting down.
Ryan: The results are in!
P: Please don't eliminate my eye candy Ace!
W: Bargaining gets you nowhere.


P: Is it time for One True Wine?
P: It is true.
W: To one true wine!
(glasses clink)
W: Oh. That's good.
P: Oh how I have missed you, One True Wine!

The American Idol commercial:
P: (seeing Mandisa) I want that hat, actually.
W: I wonder if Chris has to put extra sunblock on?
P: Like on his head?
W: Taylor looks like the dad of the group.
P: That was just weird.

P: Paula's all drugged like, you're Barry! I know you! You're my friend! Oh my god, Barry Manilow looked like he was about to kiss Ryan Seacrest. Did you see that?
W: No, I'm blogging!
P: Oh my god, they keep touching! They're going to make out! This is going to be the best show ever!

W: (random freaking out about Barry Manilow)
P: Look at you! I suddenly want to be rich so I can take you to see Barry Manilow.
W: You should! He's awesome! He IS the American Idol! God gave the man an ugly nose, but gave him the best voice in the universe!
P: Aw! We love you Barry! Look at that person in the audience! They're like the you of the audience!
W: I would be crying in utter joy! Barry! Oh my god! The standing up guy is on stage!
P: I know! It's very confusing and weird!
W: GET YOUR HANDS OFF BARRY! Strange standing up guy! Don't they have security at that place?! Gah!

The Bottom Three:

P: Some of those 11 people are closer to our hearts. Some of those people are closer to my loins.
W: No! Not Mandisa!
P: I love everything about Mandisa.
W: And so does America.
P: Elliott has got to be in the bottom three.
W: (gasp!)
P: Wow! DialIdol is like, WAY wrong!
W: I hope this means Pickler's a bottom dweller.
P: Pick Pickler to go home!
Kellie: I don't think I'm ballsy.
Ryan: I don't have enough time to go into that.

P: Ryan has a LOT of things to say about balls.
W: Chris is looking hot! Whoa... top tier is totally safe.
P: Katharine is beautiful.
W: Love her shirt.
P: Whoa, those three are all bottom three. That's completely the correct bottom three. Paula's already crying! Paula? Paula's got problems.
W: Hee!
P: Paula took the crying drugs.


P: Snake lungs? That's weird. He deserves to be eliminated for snake lungs.
W: That's just weird.
P: Kevin is safe, I bet.
W: Yeah, I'm guessing too.
P: That chain is not doing Bucky any favors.
Ryan: Lisa, you are not in the bottom two.
P: We were wrong!
P: Look at Paula, she's on the verge of tears! It's probably Kevin.
W: Chicken Little!
[Kevin's out]
P: I knew it! I knewn she wouldn't be crying for Bucky!
W: Oh, poor little boy!
P: Well, Vote For The Worst really sucks!
W: Aw, don't make him cry when he's in the inset.
P: Everyone seems to really personally like him. That's why Paula was crying. Wow, a lot of people in the pool were spot on this week!
Kevin: America, be smart, and pick one of these fine people!
P: Oh! OK! Well, who else are we going to pick?
W: Ladies and gentlemen, we pick Justin Guarini!
P: We pick the Manilow Fanilow who stood up in the audience!

Pool Results:
Editrix is the winner this week, with 13 points. 12 points for Ana, Martha, Trance, Celine, and Bailey. 9 points for Merr, 8 for Weet and Pie, 7 for Shmuel, and 5 for the parakeets. Pool standings:

1. 24 points (tie) Ana, Bailey, Trance
4. 23 points (tie) Martha, Celine
6. 20 points, Pie
7. 19 points, Shmuel
8. 18 points, Weet
9. 16 points, the parakeets
10. 13 points, Editrix
11. 12 points, Merr


Anonymous Trance said...

Holy Crap, they axed the Keebler Elf!! I actually feel sort of sad. Did anyone notice that Kev was actually taller than Seacrest?? Ryan Seacrest is a Midget Motherfucker. That dude has to be like 4'11. That's why he never stands by the judges - Simon's afraid he'd bite off a kneecap.

Anyway, I sort of felt bad for the little dude. I thought he'd make it.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Trance said...

Also, as someone who has done a lot of drugs, Paula Abdul is not on drugs.

She's just batshit fruitypants crazy.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Celine said...

Alright, I won't lie, I was totally rooting for Kevin or Kellie to go. But I find myself sad that Kevin was axed instead of Kellie. Kevin was kind of cute, and looked so sad and seemed nice even though he pronounced shit weird.

Kellie is just so fucking dumb it hurts. When Ryan Seafuckincrest is rolling his eyes amd being a smartass about you not understanding the word BALLSY, this is a problem. Even worse, when you don't get it and make the dumb "laugh it off because my brain hurts if I try and understand for real" face in response.

Kevin, I miss you already.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

America, really? Really? Kevin, not Bucky? You know, only the top 10 go on the tour, so you all get 'treated' to the full Bucky tour experience. Perhaps he will again get a blow-out, wear snake lungs and sing "Oh Boy". Gah.

The standing Fanilow was Bobby Whatever from the top 24? And his audition was Barry's "I Can't Smile Without You"? And his first and last stage performance was "Copacabana"?

4:43 AM  
Anonymous Kat said...

The standing up guy, who was then on the stage after Barry's performance, was one of the contestants before they got down to the final twelve. The last song he sang, for which he got the axe, was Copacabana, which he seriously butchered. I'm sure Barry hadn't seen the dude's final performance or he surely wouldn't have allowed him on stage, let alone touch him.

Oh, and if I heard correctly, Kellie's exact words to Ryan were, "What's a ballsy?" Could she be any more fucking blonde?

6:59 AM  
Blogger mo pie said...

Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that crazy guy who loved Barry. Well I'm very happy for him, then!

7:08 AM  
Anonymous lisa-marie said...

Kevin, huh? I'm actually a little shocked. I hate to admit it, but I thought he did pretty well Tuesday night. Oh, well.

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Editrix said...

My husband mocks me for believing that calls really do select the winner. He thinks AI is like wrestling, with the results predetermined.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Bozoette said...

I hate Bucky's teeth. Poor Kevin. I always wanted to pat him on his wee little head.

11:56 AM  

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