Top 10 Results
Best thing I read on the internet today: "[Paris] looks like what would happen if Fantastia and Diana DeGarmo produced a child." (tm Mike)
DialIdol's predictions are also hilarious today. They are tagging for possible elimination: Katharine, Ace, Bucky, Mandisa, Lisa, Elliott, and Paris. That's seven out of ten! It's going to be really funny when Chris gets eliminated instead or something.
Our Idol pool has four Buckys, three Elliotts, and a Lisa. And some residual Melissas. So we'll see what happens after tonight! Stay tuned.
P: "Who the hell is performing tonight?"
W: "Shakira. My girlfriend. One of the five girls I would switch teams fo-- is that Enrique Iglesias?"
P: "Oh, Ace looks pretty tonight. It's going to be sad if he's eliminated."
W: "Ace does look pretty. Bucky looks like he had an unfortunate vomiting-while-asleep incident."
[Pie sees Elliott, does indescribable bat impersonation.]
(Target Commercial)
P: "One of the models of this commercial is actually chunky."
(Cellular commercial)
P: "Catherine Zeta Jones has had so much Botox."
W: "Yeah, she's claiming she's my age and there are pictures of her when I was sixteen, and she has, like, a job."
(Ford Commercial)
P: "Ace looks pretty again."
W: "Who the heck is the cop? Chris throwing down the urban flava."
P: "Hee!"
W: "Is that Bucky with the guitar?"
P: "What is wrong with Taylor? Yes, that's Bucky. That commercial was weird."
W: "That's what we say every week."
P: "It's weird. Every week."
(And we're back)
W: "ShaKEEERAH!!!"
P: "Shakira is a man. All right, I can see where you're getting this team switching."
W: "Yeah."
P: "Yeah, she's a little too Mariah Carey meets Aladdin's Jasmine at the moment."
W: "But she's incredibly hot. Look at her pelvis! Look!"
P: "I'm just not a pelvis person. She kind of looks like Halle Berry in a weird way."
W: "You're drunk. She doesn't look... oh wait."
P: "No she does. "
W: "Yeah, I see it."
P: "Kellie Pickler just looks confused."
W: "Kellie Pickler's like 'What's a Shakira?'"
P: "This song fucking sucks. Like, she's distracting me with her pelvis, but the song totally sucks."
W: "It doesn't matter what's she's singing."
P: "Okay Paula. The cameraman knew that if he'd move over five feet, he'd get a very interesting shot of Paula bobbing her head (at Wyclef's crotch)."
W: "I can't blog with the quotes. I'll put them in later. It's too hard."
P: "I find this performance to be very random. And there's this random guy, just thrusting his crotch at Paula's face. It's very random."
W: "That's Wyclef Jean."
P: "Oh."
(Last night's montage)
P: "There's Katharine in her weird stable hand costume."
W: "Oh, bullshit, Taylor did not look like Clay Fucking Aiken."
P: (makes weird strangely liquid bat noise when she sees Elliott)
W: "Hee!"
P: "I blame you for that!"
(Results)
Ryan: Bottom row...
P: "What are they all safe? Yeah, these are the safe people! Mandisa's safe! Phew! Oh, my Ace, I have a really bad feeling about Ace! "
Ryan: What have you done?
W: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"
Ryan: After the break.
P: "Hmmm... the only person I'd be really sad about would be Katharine, although I'd be sad to lose Ace's prettiness."
(Commercials)
P: "I feel like I'm hallucinating these commercials."
W: "It's the Wyclef crotch of commercials."
P: "Heh heh... THAT does not make sense. It's like your STD joke. I reread it today and it still doesn't make any sense."
W: "Shhhh... Shakira! Hips don't lie!"
Ryan: Elliott!
W: "Did he just make bat ears?"
P: "Do bats even have ears?"
Ryan: Safe!
P: "Sinking feeling about Ace!"
Ryan: Lisa, you are in the bottom three again.
W: "Of course."
P: "Lisa's top is fricking fabulous though. I like the craziness of it."
Ryan: Ace, you are back in the bottom three this week.
W: "Did he just pout?"
P: "I think so. I will suck on his bottom lip of poutiness."
Ryan: "Katharine, you are in the bottom three. Bucky, you are safe!"
W/P: (Collective gasp!)
Studio audience: Boo!
P: "She was the best performance!"
W: "What have you done, America?"
P: "You picked BUCKY over Katharine?! Wow. Wow. The two prettiest people in the competition just got put in the bottom three. Although Lisa is pretty too."
(Commercials)
P: "Look at Katharine. She's soooo pretty."
W: "I think you have a crush."
Ryan: The person coming back next week is Ace.
P: "My pretty! Katharine is going to get sent home! Oh my god!"
Simon: Katharine wasn't as good, watching it back.
W: "I love Simon's pouty lip that he makes when he's not sure."
P: "Poor Ryan's like 'Please note that Lisa does suck but Katharine doesn't.'"
W: "Katharine's pretty smarmy."
P: "Whatever God's plan is!"
(Lisa's going home)
P: "Whoa! They really faked me out. I totally thought it was Katharine."
W: "Hey, I got full points in the pool!"
P: "Yes you did!"
W: "And she gets to go on the tour."
P: "She's sweet. She's got a lot of grace."
Lisa: I've been working toward this since I was little.
W: "You ARE little."
P: "Aren't we supposed to have a sing out? It's already past 8:30."
W: "They won't. Because of Shakira."
Ryan: "Next week is country."
P: "Well, Kellie fucking Pickler's not going anywhere then. Man, they just cut to Kellie and I thought it was Carrie Underwood. Kellie's singing along! Your name is Kellie Pickler, not Kelly Clarkson!"
Pool Results:
The winner for the week is Weetabix with a perfect score of 13 points! Editrix has 12 points. Martha, Pie, Shmuel, and the parakeets have 11 points each. 10 points for Bailey, Celine, and Ana. Trance with 8 and Merr with 7 are trailing this week.
34 points: Ana, Martha, Bailey
33 points: Celine
32 points: Trance
31 points: Pie, Weet
30 points: Shmuel
27 points: Pie's parakeets
25 points: Editrix
19 points: Merr
DialIdol's predictions are also hilarious today. They are tagging for possible elimination: Katharine, Ace, Bucky, Mandisa, Lisa, Elliott, and Paris. That's seven out of ten! It's going to be really funny when Chris gets eliminated instead or something.
Our Idol pool has four Buckys, three Elliotts, and a Lisa. And some residual Melissas. So we'll see what happens after tonight! Stay tuned.
P: "Who the hell is performing tonight?"
W: "Shakira. My girlfriend. One of the five girls I would switch teams fo-- is that Enrique Iglesias?"
P: "Oh, Ace looks pretty tonight. It's going to be sad if he's eliminated."
W: "Ace does look pretty. Bucky looks like he had an unfortunate vomiting-while-asleep incident."
[Pie sees Elliott, does indescribable bat impersonation.]
(Target Commercial)
P: "One of the models of this commercial is actually chunky."
(Cellular commercial)
P: "Catherine Zeta Jones has had so much Botox."
W: "Yeah, she's claiming she's my age and there are pictures of her when I was sixteen, and she has, like, a job."
(Ford Commercial)
P: "Ace looks pretty again."
W: "Who the heck is the cop? Chris throwing down the urban flava."
P: "Hee!"
W: "Is that Bucky with the guitar?"
P: "What is wrong with Taylor? Yes, that's Bucky. That commercial was weird."
W: "That's what we say every week."
P: "It's weird. Every week."
(And we're back)
W: "ShaKEEERAH!!!"
P: "Shakira is a man. All right, I can see where you're getting this team switching."
W: "Yeah."
P: "Yeah, she's a little too Mariah Carey meets Aladdin's Jasmine at the moment."
W: "But she's incredibly hot. Look at her pelvis! Look!"
P: "I'm just not a pelvis person. She kind of looks like Halle Berry in a weird way."
W: "You're drunk. She doesn't look... oh wait."
P: "No she does. "
W: "Yeah, I see it."
P: "Kellie Pickler just looks confused."
W: "Kellie Pickler's like 'What's a Shakira?'"
P: "This song fucking sucks. Like, she's distracting me with her pelvis, but the song totally sucks."
W: "It doesn't matter what's she's singing."
P: "Okay Paula. The cameraman knew that if he'd move over five feet, he'd get a very interesting shot of Paula bobbing her head (at Wyclef's crotch)."
W: "I can't blog with the quotes. I'll put them in later. It's too hard."
P: "I find this performance to be very random. And there's this random guy, just thrusting his crotch at Paula's face. It's very random."
W: "That's Wyclef Jean."
P: "Oh."
(Last night's montage)
P: "There's Katharine in her weird stable hand costume."
W: "Oh, bullshit, Taylor did not look like Clay Fucking Aiken."
P: (makes weird strangely liquid bat noise when she sees Elliott)
W: "Hee!"
P: "I blame you for that!"
(Results)
Ryan: Bottom row...
P: "What are they all safe? Yeah, these are the safe people! Mandisa's safe! Phew! Oh, my Ace, I have a really bad feeling about Ace! "
Ryan: What have you done?
W: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"
Ryan: After the break.
P: "Hmmm... the only person I'd be really sad about would be Katharine, although I'd be sad to lose Ace's prettiness."
(Commercials)
P: "I feel like I'm hallucinating these commercials."
W: "It's the Wyclef crotch of commercials."
P: "Heh heh... THAT does not make sense. It's like your STD joke. I reread it today and it still doesn't make any sense."
W: "Shhhh... Shakira! Hips don't lie!"
Ryan: Elliott!
W: "Did he just make bat ears?"
P: "Do bats even have ears?"
Ryan: Safe!
P: "Sinking feeling about Ace!"
Ryan: Lisa, you are in the bottom three again.
W: "Of course."
P: "Lisa's top is fricking fabulous though. I like the craziness of it."
Ryan: Ace, you are back in the bottom three this week.
W: "Did he just pout?"
P: "I think so. I will suck on his bottom lip of poutiness."
Ryan: "Katharine, you are in the bottom three. Bucky, you are safe!"
W/P: (Collective gasp!)
Studio audience: Boo!
P: "She was the best performance!"
W: "What have you done, America?"
P: "You picked BUCKY over Katharine?! Wow. Wow. The two prettiest people in the competition just got put in the bottom three. Although Lisa is pretty too."
(Commercials)
P: "Look at Katharine. She's soooo pretty."
W: "I think you have a crush."
Ryan: The person coming back next week is Ace.
P: "My pretty! Katharine is going to get sent home! Oh my god!"
Simon: Katharine wasn't as good, watching it back.
W: "I love Simon's pouty lip that he makes when he's not sure."
P: "Poor Ryan's like 'Please note that Lisa does suck but Katharine doesn't.'"
W: "Katharine's pretty smarmy."
P: "Whatever God's plan is!"
(Lisa's going home)
P: "Whoa! They really faked me out. I totally thought it was Katharine."
W: "Hey, I got full points in the pool!"
P: "Yes you did!"
W: "And she gets to go on the tour."
P: "She's sweet. She's got a lot of grace."
Lisa: I've been working toward this since I was little.
W: "You ARE little."
P: "Aren't we supposed to have a sing out? It's already past 8:30."
W: "They won't. Because of Shakira."
Ryan: "Next week is country."
P: "Well, Kellie fucking Pickler's not going anywhere then. Man, they just cut to Kellie and I thought it was Carrie Underwood. Kellie's singing along! Your name is Kellie Pickler, not Kelly Clarkson!"
Pool Results:
The winner for the week is Weetabix with a perfect score of 13 points! Editrix has 12 points. Martha, Pie, Shmuel, and the parakeets have 11 points each. 10 points for Bailey, Celine, and Ana. Trance with 8 and Merr with 7 are trailing this week.
34 points: Ana, Martha, Bailey
33 points: Celine
32 points: Trance
31 points: Pie, Weet
30 points: Shmuel
27 points: Pie's parakeets
25 points: Editrix
19 points: Merr
posted by mo pie at 5:03 PM
5 Comments:
If Katharine goes, I don't think I'll be able to watch anymore.
No. I'm lying. I'll still watch.
It better not be Katharine!
Can someone PLEASE give Paris a fucking box of tissues?? PLEASE?!
And I don't even know what to say about Katharine/Bucky. Even Bucky was sitting there looking like, "Aw HELL, naw."
How is it humanly possible that Kellie is still a contestant on this show? Or Bucky? And now people, we are stuck with them for another two weeks.
America, I am disappointed in your voting skills. Maybe someone needs to be giving number dialing classes because this MUST be a mistake.
Paris: "It's all about me! See how upset I am!"
Bucky, you magnificent bastard! If I thought you were even slightly literate, I might read your book!
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