Weetapidol

Weetapidol Pool Final Results!

2011-05-26T15:08:00.001-07:00

Scotty wins! And with that, for the very first time, I, Mo Pie, have won our Idol pool! I won Shmuel's pool this year too! And had a really cute baby like a week ago! I'm on fire, y'all!

My prize is any American Idol-related product, and if you think I'm not going to cash in on my own prize, you're crazy! I'm thinking Glam Nation Live.

Thanks for playing, everyone!

127 points: Mo Pie
123 points: Wendi
122 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind
119 points: Kelly S., Weet
115 points: Jeremy
113 points: Shmuel, Shari
87 points: Anti-Shmuel
85 points: Martha

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 3!

2011-05-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

And Haley is out in third place! As I mentioned last time, Shmuel was the only person who even came close, putting Haley in fifth. Jeremy and Martha had her in seventh place. The Hive Mind average was 11th place. Here are the new standings!

105 points: Mo Pie and Wendi (neck and neck!)
103 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind
101 points: Shmuel (jumping into fourth place!)
98 points: Weet
97 points: Kelly S. (moving ahead of Shari)
95 points: Shari, Jeremy
79 points: Martha
75 points: Anti-Shmuel

As for next week, the only person predicting Lauren's victory is Anti-Shmuel (which is bad news for Shmuel, who placed her last). The only person predicting Scotty's victory is Mo Pie. (I'VE GOT A SHOT TO WIN!!) Kelly S. and Weet have Lauren second, and stand to pick up points if she wins. Shmuel and the Hive Mind have Scotty second.

I personally think Lauren and Scotty are both incredibly boring; but then again, I think that about everyone this season! Haley was the only one who was winning me over, and she still needs to lay off the growling.

How about you, who are you rooting for?

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 5 and Top 4!

2011-05-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

Another double update this week!

So, last week, Jacob went out in fifth place, and three people were right on with their predictions: front-runners Wendi and Me Pie, as as well as Weet. The biggest miss was Jeremy, who placed him 12th. Sorry, Jeremy!

As for James, the Hive Mind had him pegged at fourth (go Hive Mind) as did Kelly S. and Shmuel. Wendi had him as our winner, and Me Pie had him third, which means we have a new front runner! Me! Woo! (I have never won this pool, so am very excited about this development.) The other big shakeups were in the mid-card, with Jeremy falling behind Shmuel, and Weet surging ahead of Shari.

As for next week, the Hive Mind has Casey in third place (well, that ship sure has sailed). Shmuel is the only person who put Haley higher than seventh place, and most of us had her much lower still, so he stands to pick up quite a few points no matter where she ends up. (His guess was fifth.) However, he had Lauren at 13th, so this moment of triumph may be short-lived. The rest of us have Lauren kind of all over the map. It's still anyone's game!

101 points: Mo Pie
100 points: Wendi
99 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind
95 points: Weet
93 points: Shari
92 points: Kelly S.
91 points: Shmuel
87 points: Jeremy
71 points: Martha
69 points: Anti-Shmuel

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 6 and Top 7!

2011-04-29T10:17:00.001-07:00

Stefano was so unmemorable that apparently I never even did a post about his elimination! Well, he went out in 7th, and Shari and Wendi had the closest guesses with 8th and 6th, respectively. Most of the rest of us went for 9th place. This didn't change the standings much, although it did bump Wendi to first place again.

As for Casey, we're averaging his original standing of 11th place with his actual standing of 6th place, leaving us with 8.5th place. Since the spreadsheet just looks at me funny when I type in 8.5, I'm going with 8. As I said last time, most of us had Casey in 5th place or higher; Mo Pie (i.e., me) had 6th place, which moves her/me/whatever past the Hive Mind into 2nd place. Shmuel had Stefano significantly lower than the rest of the crowd and Casey as the winner, which means his streak of awesome is over... for now! And, the standings:

79 points: Wendi
78 points: Mo Pie
77 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind
75 points: Shari
73 points: Weet, Jeremy
70 points: Kelly S.
68 points: Shmuel
58 points: Martha
54 points: Anti-Shmuel

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 8!

2011-04-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

Well, Paul going out 8th was something a lot of us saw coming: Weet, Shmuel, Shari, and the Hive Mind, to be exact. Wendi and Mo were close, putting him at 7th place. Kelly and Jeremy underestimated him and put him at 10th and 11th, respectively; Martha overestimated and had him fourth... and drops to last place as a result.

Wendi once again has to share first place with the Hive Mind, and Shmuel continues his winning streak. Next week, the Hive Mind has Jacob going home. I could see it.

60 points: Wendi, Hive Mind
59 points: Mo Pie
57 points: Shari
56 points: Shmuel, Weet
54 points: Jeremy
51 points: Kelly S.
40 points, Anti-Shmuel
39 points: Martha

Top 9 Shocker: Pool Results!

2011-04-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

Well that was certainly a shocking result! None of us had Pia any lower than third; in fact, the only person who didn't place her first or second was Shmuel, who continues his run of not sucking this year! Anti-Shmuel, of course, had her at 11th and thus was the big winner for the week. Except sie's not real.

So most of us did equally poorly this week, with minimal shake-ups in the standings. Wendi now takes the lead all on her own.

49 points: Wendi
48 points Mo Pie, Hive Mind
45 points: Shari
44 points: Shmuel, Jeremy*, Weet
42 points: Kelly S.
31 points: Martha
30 points: Anti-Shmuel

*Jeremy, the spelling of your name has been fixed! Also, hello!

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 11 and Top 11!

2011-04-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

This week, two people go home: awesomely named Thia Megia and misguidedly reggae Naima Adedapo.

As for Thia, Shari was the big winner, correctly placing her at 11th place. Shmuel also did well by putting her in 10th. The rest of us were all off by two or more places.

Naima, on the other hand, was correctly picked as 11th by Weet, Wendi, Shmuel and Jeremey. (Wait, who's Jeremey... Savage tax books, is that you?)

Note that Shmuel placed Naima and Thia as 11th and 10th respectively, and since 11th and 11th were impossible picks, he basically got the perfect score this week.

Also close on Naima were Kelly S. with 12th place, and the Hive Mind with 10th. This shakes up our standings as follows:

44 points: Wendi, Weetapidol Hive Mind
43 points: Mo Pie
41 points: Shari
40 points: Weet
39 points: Jeremey
38 points: Shmuel, Kelly S.
27 points: Martha
20 points: Anti-Shmuel

Weetapidol Pool Results and Mo Pie's Musings

2011-03-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

Oh, that damn Judges' Save, throwing things off. The last time this happened, we figured out a system that I thought was fair; whatever place Casey leaves in, we'll average that with 11th place to get his final score. For instance, if he actually leaves in 5th place, we'll award points as if he went home in 8th place, an average of the two placements.

For the record, the only person who got anywhere close to 11th place was Anti-Shmuel, who isn't even real, who put Casey 13th. The second-closest was me, Mo, who put him at 6th place. And he basically has to win the whole thing to end up with a sixth place average placement!

As for the Musings portion, I've been watching the performances on Rickey.org and taking notes for my own complicated spreadsheet that I use for my weekly picks for Shmuel's pool. In case you're curious, here were my notes for this week:

Stefano: Cheesy Jersey Shore-esque facial expressions but good voice.
Thia: Fine, nothing special.
Casey: Kind of weird. Is he the next Taylor Hicks?
Jacob: Another gay contestant, right? Good song choice for him. Pretty good!
Lauren: Fabulous voice and confident!
Haley: Dressed like a hoor again. She's bad.
Pia: Lovely voice. Boring-ish. Could be an advantage since she has room to improve.
Paul: Less annoying than usual, I guess. Still can't stand him.
Naima: Don't like her either. Tries too hard and sings too poorly. Betting she's gone soon.
James: Enjoyable.

None of these people excites me though, and the performances this week were a big snooze. How are you guys feeling about the season? Enjoying anyone?

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 13 and Top 12!

2011-03-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

So, here are the results for the first two weeks. The Ashthon ouster was successfully predicted by Mo and someone named "Savage tax books," as well as by the Weetapidol Hive Mind. (Hey, Savage, do you have an actual name?)

Martha also predicted it correctly, but may or may not have had advance knowledge of the elimination. If she did, I'm going to give her a deduction of four points, which is reflected below. (Martha, if you guessed Ashthon before you knew Ashthon was gone, let me know.)

Karen's elimination was predicted by Mo again (go me!) and Shari, as well as the Hive Mind. Shmuel is in last place,which made me want to include Anti-Shmuel, who has been in our pool in the past. (I just take Shmuel's picks and reverse them.) Anti-Shmuel is sucking worse than Real Shmuel, though. (She says, with affection.)

Overall standings are as follows!

24 points: Mo and Hive Mind
22 points: Wendi
21 points: Shari
20 points: Weet and Kelly S
18 points: Savage
16 points: Martha
15 points: Shmuel
11 points: Anti-Shmuel

The Hive Mind is predicting Haley to go next week. We'll see!

Top 12: Like Fozzy Bear Sings Nirvana

2011-03-17T08:05:00.000-07:00

As we announced last week, Pie is pregnant and super busy, so Weet will be asking friends to sub in occasionally when Pie is unable to 'Pidol. This week, we're bringing back traditional Weetapidol sub Jake.

Weet : J.Lo looks beautiful

Jake : I like her cavewoman dress. Oh, whoa, what did Randy do? I think Steven Tyler is wearing J. Lo’s dress from the Academy Awards last year. Are all of those people the former winners in the credits? Did David Cook win?

Weet : Yes, he won. I don’t think they show Rueben or Taylor.

Jake : They showed Taylor. He's the old man, right? He did Ford commercials right?

Weet : I don’t know. I try not to waste attention span on Taylor. You’re just saying words now.

Jake : Do they always have signs?

Weet : Yes, there have always been signs.

Jake : I don’t remember the signs. I’m surprised Fox allows them to have signs. They clash with the set.

Weet : I think that makes it seem spontaneous, the signs.

Jake : Oh, they don’t look spontaneous. Are they provided? Like while they’re waiting to get in? Like, here are some markers and cardboard. And then the production assistants come in and tell them what to write.

Weet : Actually some of the signs DO look a touch professional.

Jake : They did! That was some wacky eyebrow movement.

Weet : I haven’t watched anything about this so far. This is my first vision of the contestants.

Jake : All of these songs are going to be from like 19993, the year I graduated from high school.

Naima Adedapo “What’s Love Got to do with It” 1984

Jake :The Alicia Keys knock off is already annoying me. Awwww... the whole family is annoying. They are like NPR hippies at their worst.

Weet : She has multiple children. That’s part of her story.

Jake : Of course she did! She grew up in an NPR household. Who’s the mouth breather. Oh, Rodney Jerkins. I’m surprised they’re showing the casting couch portion. I thought they didn’t allow nudity on Fox this early in the evening. Are the boxing gloves part of her story? She’s a fighter! It’s nice that she’s dressed kind of from Thunderdome though.

Weet : It IS terrible. Horrible.

Jake : She’s got like every hipster religion is represented here. I don’t know what the calf things are though.

Weet : I don’t know what you mean, the calf things. Those... knee guards?

Jake : Yes. I’ve heard karaoke better than this.

Weet : I’ve heard better karaoke too. I think I've SUNG better karaoke.

Jake : Are we being punked? Oh wait, no, they sent Ashton home last week. I think Tina Turner is putting on her wig and getting into her Escalade right now.

Weet : She’s like “Oh no bitch DID NOT!”

Jake : (quacks in response to Steven Tyler’s randomosity) Is Steven Tyler like the Paula?

Weet : No, J. Lo is the Paula.

Jake : Pitchy? I thought she said “bitchy” and that would make sense, it’s the Erykah Badyu hair. “Where my pitches at!?” Her flavor is crazy? She has no flavor. It all came from Urban Outfitters.

Weet : She DOES look like Alecia Keys though.

Jake : She also has that Julia Roberts horse mouth. Whoa, coming up, a bolo tie.

Paul “bolo tie” MacDonald “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues” (1984)

Jake : Oh my god, he has born again Christian parents.

Weet : God I’m feeling old. For the record, I was in 7th grade in 1984. I had kissed a boy by that time.

Jake : I’ll bet the mother has to laugh, even though she looks like Shelley Long. I’ll bet the parents don’t know that Elton John is gay.

Weet : They probably think he just hasn’t found the right woman yet.

Jake : Well he was married once.

Weet : Yes! In 1984, I believe.

Paul starts singing

Jake : (sound of disgust/throat phlegm) Is he wearing jeggings?

Weet : I was too distracted by this horrible singing.

Jake : At least he’s not pitchy. We know where his pitches are at.

Weet : Yes, I can see them right there, through his jeggings.

Jake : He sounds like Macy Gray! He should have sung her song! Which I think came out in 1984. I think he has to get on television quickly before the male pattern baldness kicks in, which by the looks of it, was Tuesday.

Weet : He looks like David Cook, who, by the way, had a much bigger forehead than that.

(JLo says that he has soul)

Jake : He doesn’t have any soul. He’s a white born again Christian from the middle of the country. I love the macrame vest on his mother though. I didn’t think he was pitchy! I think Randy learned what pitchy meant so he’s going to use it in every critique now.

Weet : Oh Randy has been using pitchy for years. Can I just say, I don't understand why people have sex with Steven Tyler.

Jake : I think it’s because he might be chupacabra.

Weet : Who does Paul look like?

Jake : He looks like Bradley Cooper.

Weet : Mixed with a less talented cousin.

Thia Megia “Colors of the Wind” (1995)

Jake : 1995!

Weet : What?!

Jake : I dropped out of college for the first time.

Weet : I was living in an apartment with a man! The second apartment with that man!

Jake : I like that she had a home studio recording. She’s singing a song from Pocahantas! Woah, that is a giant clam o succulants.

Weet : I’ve been admiring that clam!

Jake : I know what people are getting for Christmas.

Weet : Oh Vanessa Williams, so screwed over by hollywood. She’s a quadruple threat! She sings, she acts, she’s gorgeous and also, she’s a mega scary bitch! I love her!

Jake : Do you think they’re deliberately making this sound like the Miss Thailand 2011 pageant? She doesn’t have very good strength. She’s kind of dull.

Weet : This is less painful than the previous two.

Jake : By comparison.

Weet : It IS making me hungry for sushi though.

Jake : I KNOW! It’s totally sushi music! And now she’s got to go back to her chair and finish doing someone’s nails.

Randy says it’s like a pageant

Jake : I totally called the pageant remark!

Weet : If Steven Tyler says he’s hungry for sushi, then we know something’s hinky

Jake : What? That’s not a timely song, it’s from a Disney movie! I wonder if she’s going to go backstage and get syphilis and die.

Weet : Is anyone going to get that reference?

Jake : LOOK IT UP!

James Durbin “I’ll be there for you” (1989)

Weet : I graduated from high school in 1989.

Jake : There’s a lot of cowboy outfits.

Weet : His mother’s a barfly?

Jake : And he was a thick child. Which is a nice way of calling him fat.

Weet : You just have to look at that kid and you know he’s going to be fat again in nine years.

Jake : I say six. I don’t think he really lived in 1989. Is he trying to be Adam Lambert.

Weet : No, Adam Lambert could sing in key. Seriously, what is year?

Jake : This is awful.

Weet : Is that the tradeoff for having better judges, having terrible talent?

Jake : I don’t even recognize the song.

Weet : You were probably a fetus at the time yoruself.

Jake : I was in high school! Ugh, I think the background vocals in Rock Band II are better.

Weet : That is the biggest incident of Shit In Back Pocket that I have EVER SEEN.

Jake : He’s wearing an entire Aldo around his neck. Oh, he thanked his band, that’s nice.

Weet : He’s a former fat kid. He knows not which side his bread is buttered on. He’s sucking up to Steven Tyler! Boooo. Seriously, is that like a Jewish prayer towel in his back pocket?

Jake : Jennifer Lopez was in In Living Color when he was born.

Weet : Randy looks like the devil.

Jake : That was “tastefully done”? (Shudder) If he wins, those boots are going to become a THING. At least his teeth are not blindingly white, like the last guy.

Hayley Reinhart “I’m Your Baby Tonight” (1990)

Weet : My guess is 1992?

Jake : 1990!

Weet : Damn it! She looks like miley Cyrus.

Jake : Whoa, that... that’s a lovely photo of the family.

Weet : Hayley should be very nervous about her future because her mother looked EXACTLY LIKE HER twenty years ago.

Jake : I’m your baby tonight?

Weet : Is that a proposition? Back to the clam shell.

Jake : I know.

Weet : No, THAT was the proposition.

Jake : I don’t think she understood a word that he said. She should come out dressed in like 1990s. This is bad karaoke also.

Weet : Seriously, we wouldn’t even be excited about this if we werea t, like, The Mint?

Jake : No, this is like “I’m gonna go pee”

Weet : Her stage presence is not great.

Jake : She almost tripped!

Weet : Actually, the high waisted pants, the tight ankles, the hair, I think she IS dressing 1990s

Jake : She might get a walk on role on the Cosby Show. Whoa, there is lipstick all over her face!

Weet : It’s on her chin! She does not look so beautiful tonight, J.Lo!

Jake : It’s opposites day for J.Lo. I like how she tried to look sultry there and it was just ruined by the lipstick all over her face! Someone should say something to her about the lipstick all over her face!

Weet : Thank god for Seacrest!

Jake : It’s true. Keeping it real.

Weet : Note to future starlets: BLOT! She’s got a giant mouth.

Jake : She does. And lipstick all over her face... still! There was not enough tissue in Seacrest’s pocket! I think Steven Tyler is sobering up, I hope they bring him out some methampethamines!

Stefano (The Italian Connection?) Langone “If you don’t know me by now” (1989)

Jake : He doesn’t look Italian.

Weet : Do you think he was named afte rthe character in Days of Our Lives?

Jake : I’ll bet so. Look at that mom.

Weet : That was a big summer for Stefano DiMera in 1989. He had stolen Marlena’s twins, and they were on an island and that was the first time that Roman died., I think.

Jake : Impressive.

(Stefano starts singing)

Jake : I have to say, he’s better than a lot of the others but bad song choice.

Weet : I hated this song and I was around in 1989.

Jake : Oh, he SHOULD do Funky Cold Medina. But no,

Jake : Why didn’t he do like Rod Stewart?

Weet : That would have been good... or...

Jake : Anything would have been better than Simply Red

Weet : Mo has an aversion to Simply Red. I believe she was strapped down in a chair and forced to look at videos of maggots while Simply Red’s Greatest Hits were playing or something. Randy was right, it WAS the best performance of the night, but that wasn’t very hard!

Jake : But the bar was set so very low

Weet : Subterranean

Jake : He managed to sing without getting any lipstick on his face too, Randy!

Weet : He’s Italian, look at how much he loves his mother!

Jake : She makes a nice lasagne!

Pia Toscana “Where do broken hearts go” (1988)

Jake : She’s the oldest, right?

Weet : So far?

Jake : Oh, I’ll bet you they bought her a Geo Storm when she graduated from high school.

Weet : Big shocker, Whitney Houston. Man, Rodney could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

Jake : Oh my god, he’s wearing a Cher pantsuit, complete with turquoise jewelry.

Weet : If you squint, she looks like Julia Louise Dreyfus

Jake : Yeah she does! Overtanned.

Weet : She’s more entertaining than anyone so far.

Jake : No... no.. just … hggh

Weet : Maybe it’s the pantsuit

Jake : That was just not good. It COULD be the pantsuit. She should have done a disco version to go with the pantsuit!

Weet : No disco in 1988.

Jake : I know, but it still would have been better!

Randy says that she’s in it to win it

Jake : I think she's the only one in it to win it, the others are just there. That’s a stupid remark.

Weet : I think Randy killed a hobo for his jacket.

Jake : If only it smelled like Listerine.

Scotty McCreery “Can I trust you with my heart” (we miss the year)

Jake : He looks like a deranged serial killing John Denver

Weet : So, is that someone who serial kills John Denvers?

Jake : No he looks deranged, like a serial killer, but also like John Denver.

Weet : Thank you for clarifying.

Weet : He looks like Owen from Torchwood

Jake : I don’t know the reference

Weet : He’s not a very good looking man. And yet, every woman on the show wanted to fuck him.

Jake : Apparently Scotty made a career of Elvis. He should sing Johnny Cash.

Weet : I don’t believe that Neither Elvis nor Johnny Cash were making a lot of songs in whatever year this child was born.

Jake : Ugh, he’s singing travis tritt

Weet : I hate country. I hate it a lot. Unless I’m eating peanuts. I don’t understand that either but country music seems to make sense if I’m eating peanuts.

Jake : He’s definitely wearing IFA chic.

Weet : Do I need to look that up?

Jake : International Farmer’s. It’s kind of like Fleet Farm. I have a hard time taking him seriously.

Weet : He’s kind of lick a gimmick. He’s like that kid from the Little Rascals, Froggy?

Jake : This is probably the first time that people have stood up for a Travis Tritt song. J.Lo is not looking too happy about this. Oh, he DOES look like Alfred E. Newman.

Weet : He sure does! More than a John Denver serial killer! Can I just say again, J.Lo looks beautiful.

Jake : And she’s actually coherent, which is two things that Paula couldn’t do.

Weet : Do you think that Kara Dia Guarudio is watching these shows every week and seething?

Jake : I don’t care, that woman was horrible. I hope she’s in the ground.

Weet : Jake is a harsh critic.

Jake : I’ll bet you Scotty grows up and becomes an inspirational speaker. Or he may own a Nissan lot and he will sell you a Maxima.

Karen Rodriguez "Love Will Lead You Back" (1989?)

Jake : Whoa, that’s a bad hairpiece

Weet : She looks like an extra from Star Trek. Is this product placement?

Jake : Did he just say that Joe Jonas was tighter? This is another 1989 baby.

Weet : Jesus I want to die.

Jake : When she was still in her belly!?! She’s speaking English, why are they subtitling that? Oh, she has a history of horrible dressing!

Weet : I love that little girl dress though! Noooo not Taylor Dayne!

Jake : And yet, she went there.

(Karen said she wanted to be more than the spanish singer)

Jake : It’s true, she can grow up and clean hotel rooms.

Karen’s mom says that she loves her

Jake : They didn’t subtitle that! And then she spoke in Spanish without subtitles. That was just weird. She’s not bad. She’s not very strong.

Weet : She’d have to be good if she made it despite being an online audition.

Jake : Hey Wendy, want to couple’s skate?

Weet : My boyfriend’s at the snack bar, getting a slushie, so when he gets back, I have to pretend I don’t know you.

Jake : She’s loosing her boot tape. And she didn’t nail that note.

Weet : I like her. I like little Karen Rodriguez and her little Star Trek uniform. She does look like a little J.Lo.

Jake : Oooh, J.Lo is threatened by her. She’s all “there’s only room for one chica!” Everyone knows it but not J.Lo.

Casey Abrams "Smells like teen spirit" (1991)

Weet : he’s the one that said he can’t sing

Jake : Oh, more NPR parents. See, this is what happens when NPR parents breed. Ugh, they still have the Volvo station wagen in the garage.

Weet : That’s the kind of shit that scares me, I’m going to get knocked up at like 48 and then turn into those people.

Jake : He IS very pale, like you! You’ll have a baby that’s the color of skim milk who can’t articulate.

(Casey starts singing Nirvana)

Weet : Oh, really?! I don’t think the “oh really” can properly convey my derision

Jake : (to his mom) it’s Nirvana!

Weet : This is like if Eben got on American Idol.

Jake : I have a hard time taking this seriously. Although I have to say that he’s dressed more appropriately. He probably kills that song on Rock Band and all his friends tell him that it’s awesome.

Weet : I have no words.

Jake : That was like Fozzy Bear sings Nirvana

(J.Lo says “it still has to sound pleasant”)

Jake : J.Lo underSTATESI don’t htink he was doing it risky, I think he was doing it ironically.

Weet : Yeah, I think he was making fun of it. I fucking hate hipsters. He’s wearing an ASCOT!

Jake : It’s not tied correctly, which makes it worse. You have to commit, which makes it worse! Commit to the ascot.

Lauren Alaina “I’m the Only One” (1994)

Weet : She’s got tragic hair.

Jake : She’s like a beat up Carrie Underwood.

Weet : She’s like a merged Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood

Jake : And their stylists! Whoa, that’s a lot of fringe on those boots. Oh my god! Her mom shops at the Limited II!

Weet : Oh. My. Hell. That’s what happens when teenage parents keep their baby!

Jake : Stop! The government is going to take away Weetapidol funding! Again, I don’t think Lauren doesn’t understand a word that man is saying. I hope that’s a wig. It looks like a bad wig.

Weet : No, I think that’s just the damage that Sun-In does to your hair.

Jake : She’s not bad.

Weet : She’s better than some of the other girls, definitely. But then there’s the fringe on her boots that I can’t forgive.

Jake : I think many Bothans died to fringe those boots.

Weet : Again, Weetapidol readers will not get that reference.

Jake : Look it UP! It’s called Wookiepedia!

Weet : She’s cute. I want to like her.

Jake : That mom is terrifying.

Weet : Bet you a dollar that the mom says her daughter is her best friend. And also, Steven Tyler wants to fuck her. With her mom.

Jake : Also, the mom has a house full of rent to own furniture.

Jacob Lusk "Alone" (1987)

Jake : I think this is the oldest!

Weet : I have some radar with him.

Jake : It’s true, he will melt chocolate in your pocket when he walks by. No wait, that’s microwaves.

(Jacob announces that he’s going to sing Alone by Heart)

Weet & Jake: (Gasp and make excited noises)
Weet : And radar confirmed!

Jake : That’s not an easy song!

Weet : As we both know! In fact, you sang it at Weetacon!

Jake : Ech, he’s doing the Luther Vandross Heart. Oh, he’s going to cry. Although I have to say they definitely kept it in his range.

Weet : It’s impressive.

Jake : It IS impressive.

Weet : I don’t like it. But it’s impressive.

Jake : J.Lo is unhappy. I bet you a dollar he does drag. Evelyn won’t take that bet!

Weet : Are you kidding? That’s why his hair is shaved close, so that he can fit the wigs!

Jake : I think he tried out for the wrong show, aren’t they casting RuPaul’s Drag Race?!

(Randy talks about caressing the song)

Jake : It IS a hard song to caress. I think Steven Tyler just called him gay.

Weet : And JLo just called him a drag queen.

Jake : I would like him to lip sync for his life.

Weet : And don’t fuck it up.

Predictions

Jake : The first two are my votes. Or Thia! She could go home.

Weet : You’re just naming people in the montage now!

Jake : I think James Durban will be safe. I think Lipstick is safe too.

Weet : I agree that she’s safe. People will feel bad about the lipstick.

Jake : Stefano is safe.

Weet : What about Pantsuit?

Jake : She was too bland to go home. I think peopel will be mesmerized by her pantsuit, plus she she was just all right. I didn’t like McCreepy, but I think he’s safe too. I’m on the fence with Karen Rodriguez.

Weet : What about Fozzy Bear?

Jake : I’m pretty sure the NPR baby is safe.

Weet : I think Lauren’s fine too. Despite having horrible hair.

Jake : Ugh, there’s feathers in it. And Jacob Lutz will live on to drag on. That is seriously the worst group of Idol contestants that I have ever seen. They should be ASHAMED of themselves, Steven. Their song choices were terrible, Steven.

Weet : You have to be fair, though, 1986-1992 was kind of a sparse year for music.

Jake : I concede nothing.

Weet : So who is your vote for the ousting?

Jake : Alecia Keys.

Weet : I will say James Durbin.

Jake : And his jeggings.

Weet : The jeggings can stay actually.

Weetapidol Out

Weetapidol Pool Picks

2011-03-04T13:49:00.000-08:00

I can't speak for Weetabix, but I haven't watched any Idol this season--not because I don't want to, but because I've been busy working, moving into a new house, and being pregnant. However, whether or not we manage to liveblog any episodes this season, it wouldn't be a season without the Weetapidol Pool!

Word on the street is that we have a Top 13, so rank them in the comments, in the order in which you think they will be eliminated. The winner this season will receive the American Idol-related merchandise of their choice! (You're going for Lee DeWyze's CD, I just know it, right?)

Here are the contestants if, like me, you have no idea who these people are.

Weetapidol Pool Final Results

2010-06-01T07:16:00.000-07:00

Woo, what a tight race this was but in the end, no one could unseat Carly's lock on first place, maintained since Top 5 week. Congratulations to Carly! Also congratulations to Shmuel who did manage to do better than Anti-Shmuel! Here are the final results!

Carly   118
Hive Mind   116
Shari   114
Wendi   114
TeKay   112
Gila   112
Jeremy   112
Mopie   111
Martha   106
Kelly S   106
Shmuel   104
Kim   104
Weet   102
Anti Shmuel   89

It should be also mentioned that many pool participants correctly prognosticated the ousting order of 3 Idol contestants (Mopie, Weet, Shari, TeKay, Wendi, Martha and the Hive Mind), which is pretty impressive considering how fickle the American voter is. With only a 16 point spread between the real live human players, it truly was a game of inches this year. If you find yourself at the bottom of pool scores, don't blame yourself--Blame Didi Benami and Siobhan Magnus.

Also, if you like to look at how we keep score, you're welcome to view the dirty details.

Carly, please send us an email with your address and also your selection of an American Idol-related prize!

Thank you for a fantastic season! Weetapidol out!

It's Kristy Lee Cook's Fault: Finale Performance and Results!

2010-05-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

Weetabix: So, I'm spoiled, I assume you are too?
Mo Pie: Oh yeah. I didn't even bother trying not to be spoiled. I don't even care.
Weetabix: I got spoiled on Facebook.
Mo Pie: Well, my demographic theory has died a painful death.
Weetabix: I enjoyed that story you linked to on NPR about Lee DeWyze, and how he supposedly has a "compelling story" because he's a paint salesman? That is ridiculous because EVERYONE had a shit job before being on this show. Except Jordin Sparks who had famous parents. And way to detract from Crystal being a single mom, bringing her child to the auditions?
Mo Pie: No kidding.
Weetabix: This whole show is going to be filler, isn't it?
Mo Pie: Yes.
Weetabix: [Sigh]
Mo Pie: I read... that Kristy Lee Cook is to blame for this. Remember her? Because the last three winners have been Kris and Lee and Cook.
Weetabix: That's ridiculous. That's like numerology bullshit.
Mo Pie: No, it's real! It's Kristy's fault!
Weetabix: I just think they're so pissed at themselves for eliminating Chris Daughtry that they're just shoving boring white guys down our throats. They don't want to miss another Chris.
Mo Pie: Good point?
Weetabix: Remember the old American Idol, when all the black contestants were awesome and all the white contestants sucked? I miss that American Idol.

Lee, "The Boxer"

Mo Pie: What song is this?
Weetabix: It's Simon and Garfunkel, Lite Radio. I think it was on a week we missed.
Mo Pie: Surprisingly, I don't know it.
Weetabix: I think Lee is a nice person. He's marginally more interesting than Kris Allen, which is not hard.
Mo Pie: I agree that I have nothing against Lee. Which is why I don't really care.
Weetabix: He seems like a nice guy. Like a guy you'd call before a party and he'd stop and get ice. Which I can respect. Like, he'd help you move. Unlike Chris Daughtry.
Mo Pie: I think Daughtry would help you move!
Weetabix: I think Daughtry would have a thing. And then he'd sleep with your mom.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: I don't think we'll remember Lee in three years. He's a younger Taylor Hicks, but without a claw.
Mo Pie: I think it depends 100% on what kind of songs he writes. If he has good songs, he'll be fine.
Weetabix: I agree, he can totally pull off the John Mayer/Jack Johnson thing.
Mo Pie: So this is Simon's last thingy.
Weetabix: Yeah, his last time judging.
Mo Pie: What a way to go out. On two kind of boring people.
Weetabix: Crystal's marginally interesting. She's not boring!
Mo Pie: That's why I said "kind of" boring. She's no Lamberrr.
Weetabix: No.

Crystal, "Me and Bobby McGee"

Mo Pie: I have this on my iPod.
Weetabix: It's very good.
Mo Pie: I think Crystal will be fine. I think they both got signed to the same label, so who cares?
Weetabix: Oh, is it a "who cares?" American Idol finale?
Mo Pie: As opposed to what?
Weetabix: True.
Mo Pie: I mean, I would have liked to break the streak of white guys with guitars... it's the law of diminishing returns.
Weetabix: I bet Jason Castro's just so pissed.
Mo Pie: Hee! Really though, David Cook was the best.
Weetabix: If for nothing else than he did Phantom of the Opera, and it made me pregnant.
Mo Pie: Right.
Weetabix: That was good. Wow, Randy has actually put on your granfather's sport coat.
Mo Pie: And it's too short for him.
Weetabix: It's something. He's going to usher me to my seat at the theater.
Mo Pie: Oh, Kara. Die in a fire.
Weetabix: Maybe the vaccuum left by Simon Cowell leaving will suck her in, kind of into a black hole situation.
Mo Pie: That is now my new dream!
Weetabix: Manifest that.

Lee Dwyze "Everybody Hurts"

Mo Pie: I don't like his hair. There's too much of it. And when did people start loving Lee Dewyze? He's been all over Twitter for the last two weeks.
Weetabix: STILL! He's still trending!
Mo Pie: Was it just that Simon Cowell said "here, America, here is a gospel choir and a fog machine. Love him."
Weetabix: Apparently. People are sheep.
Mo Pie: I don't think that love is going to last, the love based on a fog machine.
Weetabix: That is very wise.
Mo Pie: Is there a teleprompter back there? Wasn't that a big deal, that they have to learn all the words?
Weetabix: Maybe when you're in the finale, it doesn't matter anymore?
Mo Pie: There's another gospel choir! I guess it's working. They have made Lee the Idol, for better or worse.
Weetabix: True.
Mo Pie: What is that shirt that Randy is wearing under my grandfather's sport coat? It's like pink and red paisley... oh Randy. He's taking up the mantle of the wacky outfits left by Paula.
Weetabix: Yeah.
Mo Pie: Oh Kara. I hate her pokey out ears. Her stupid smug little face. It's really the only thing I care about this season: my hatred of Kara.
.

Crystal "Black Velvet"

Mo Pie: Oh I love this song! I am interested! Don't let me down, Crystal.
Weetabix: Maybe if you wish enough, she'll win.
Mo Pie: I just want a performance I would enjoy, but maybe I could turn back time. She looks uncomfortable in that dress. She looks kind of super uncomfortable.
Weetabix: You know what she looks like? She walks just like Jake in drag.
Mo Pie: So we know what Jake's Halloween costume is going to be this year! Oh, I don't know, I'm back to not caring so much again. She doesn't sound as good as Alannah Miles. I'm sorry, she doesn't.
Weetabix: Well, she has to sound as good as Crystal Bowersox and I don't think she even did that.
Mo Pie: No, I think she could do much better than that and I'll bet that the studio version sounds much better.
Weetabix: I would like to point out that Simon's shirt is unbuttoned to the fourth button.
Mo Pie: Do you have a Simon Cowell thing now?
Weetabix: I've always had a Simon thing. I enjoy his chest.
Mo Pie: He's got a hairy dad chest.
Weetabix: A dad chest?
Mo Pie: Yeah, he looks like your dad or something.
Weetabix: Not MY dad, but maybe my Daddy.
Mo Pie: Oh god.

Lee, "Beautiful Day"

Mo Pie: So this is the single? I'm curious about this.
Weetabix: Did that horrible writer write it? I mean not Kara, but the other one. Trenyce?
Mo Pie: No, it's U2. This was the single on World Idol. Where Kelly lost to that Norwegian guy.
Weetabix: The one that looked like a hobbit? You told me about this.
Mo Pie: I loved him!
Weetabix: Kurt Nillsen? I know this because I have the contents of your iPod on my computer. Every so often it will come on randomly. Like "Rent" in Dutch.
I'm not compelled by Lee's voice.
Mo Pie: Me either. He's no Norwegian hobbit.
Weetabix: Not many people are. He is better at emoting now, though. At least now his emotion is reaching his face.
Mo Pie: Too bad that emotion is often "I pooped my pants."
Weetabix: It disturbs me that you know what that emotion looks like.
Mo Pie: Heh.
Weetabix: I don't think Lee DeWyze is very tall. He looks kinda stubby up there.
Mo Pie: Are there 72 violinists behind him? It's like "The Music Man" up there.
Weetabix: Well they used up the gospel choir. Crystal got to stand awkwardly by herself in heels that don't fit. Lee has the entire show up there and the lights are going crazy. It's just unfair.
Mo Pie: How could Lee be the Chosen One though? It makes no sense?
Weetabix: Maybe because it became evident early on tht Crystal wasn't going to let herself be led. While Lee was like "go ahead, mold me."
Mo Pie: That's a good theory. I just think his voice is very generic.
Weetabix: I agree. But Kara felt it was commercial. Which to me seems like on Top Model where they say you're good for catalog.
Mo Pie: I think that's probably an exact analogy. And here comes Simon and his "Lee worked at a paint shop!" thing.
Weetabix: They've mentioned it like four times so far.
Mo Pie: Mabe it's the idea that Crystal doesn't need to win to succeed?
Weetabix: This isn't Amercia's charity. Kristy Lee Cook apparently needed to win, because she's haunting the show.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: That doesn't even make sense. It's not Kristy Lee David.... there have been hundreds of contsestants on this show. It's just totally random.
Mo Pie: Well, if a "Ty" wins next year to complete the "Kristy"...
Weetabix: Fine. Then I will be contrite.

Crystal, "Up to the Mountain"

Mo Pie: What song is this?
Weetabix: It's "Up to the Moutain".. the single she'll release.
Mo Pie: No, I mean where did it come from?
Weetabix: The ether?
Mo Pie: I hope they release it anyway. Oh, she's got pretty lighting!
Weetabix: She does! And a gospel choir. But the choir singers are not lit.
Mo Pie: What radio station would this song be on?
Weetabix: Christian FM maybe?
Mo Pie: No wonder she didn't win. They don't know what station to put her on.
Weetabix: And you don't go on Christian FM with that hair and that tattoo on your back.
Mo Pie: Well she sounds terrific.
Weetabix: Yeah, better than "Black Velvet." I'm just distracted by the fact that she hasn't changed her earrings, despite having three totally different outfits. And the earrings don't go with that necklace at all, but that necklace is awesome.
Mo Pie: I agree with you. And that performance was very good!
Weetabix: It's very heartbreaking. I think this whole time she hasn't let herself want this. And this is the first time she actually seemed like she wanted this--she seemed nervous during the second performance.
Mo Pie: Yeah, I agree. And Randy's all suffused with emotion! And Ellen was just like "you're not derivative of the last two winners! yay!" Hahaha Ellen. "If you make a salad, I'll eat it!"
Weetabix: Ellen's just going to be her groupie.
Mo Pie: Oh goodie. Kara's going to tell us how it is. I think she just said the same thing you did, though.
Weetabix: Yeah, except I didn't say it so douchey.
Mo Pie: Oh, a little tribute to Simon from Crystal!
Weetabix: He looks touched. And Kara tried to jump in on that there.
Mo Pie: Simon's final critique!
Weetabix: Awww. Aw Simon. Unbutton your shirt more.
Mo Pie: I'm glad I didn't know this about Simon being your daddy like five seasons ago.

PREDICTIONS

Mo Pie: Predictions?
Weetabix: I predict America does not have enough boring bland white guys on their radio stations.
Mo Pie: Good guess!
Weetabix: They want another Chris Daughtry.

FINALE

Mo Pie: They gave Taylor a ticket! They didn't make Old Man Hicks sit in the balcony! I'm excited to see the old Idols.
Weetabix: What are the old Idols? Explain.
Mo Pie: The previous winners from past seasons.
Weetabix: Do they get to sing?
Mo Pie: I hope so! Oooh, who is that blonde girl. Is she on this show?
Weetabix: I don't know, but she's kind of hot.
Mo Pie: I have no idea who that is! Oh my gosh, there's Tim Urban, I had forgotten he existed.
Weetabix: Why is Lacey on there. Because she's Top 12? But she's not on the tour.
Mo Pie: That blonde girl isn't in the Top 12. What's with the creepy zombie choir? That's just creepy.
Weetabix: Well, it's an Alice Cooper song.
Mo Pie: Oh my gosh, that's Alice Cooper for real! I loved him before Wayne's World!
Weetabix: When I was a little kid, my stepdad had that album and I'd look at it and be fascinated because it was the creepiest album ever. There was a spider on it!
Mo Pie: I just downloaded "Poison" for Rock Band. That's my favorite Alice Cooper song. Oh my gosh, Alice Cooper is kind of old.
Weetabix: Did you not just listen to my little story of looking at his album when I was like five?
Mo Pie: I know but I prefer to think of us as being younger people.
Weetabix: Oh, right. Well, maybe he was forty when he put out that album.

Kris Allen

Mo Pie: I really do actually enjoy Kris Allen. I love that "Live Like You're Dying" song and I still have residual Kradam love from all the Kradam fanfic I've read since last year.
Weetabix: How much is that?
Mo Pie: Um. A lot.
Weetabix: This isn't terrible. He's still white. And a man.
Mo Pie: But I do enjoy little Kris Allen.
Weetabix: He seems to have gained quite a bit more confidence. He's got more presence.
Mo Pie: The thing is, Lee Dewyze really was a Kris Allen this season. He wasn't a front runner and then all of a sudden, it was like whoa, he won? Where did he come from? I don't know if I like this song though.
Weetabix: I think I'll like it after I've heard it on the radio 20 times.
Mo Pie: That is how Kris Allen works.
Weetabix: He gets under your skin.
Mo Pie: LIVE LIKE YOU'RE DYING! [singing] There's eighty six four hundred seconds in a day... la la la la.... sorry. The thing with Chris Daughtry is that when I hear his songs for the first time, I instantly know I will like them. It does not take 20 listens for me.
Weetabix: Right.
Mo Pie: I really wish Adam would come out and sing with Kris. But that's because I'm creepy. Was that Bo Bice? Bo Bice in the audience?
Weetabix: Here comes the Simon thing!
Mo Pie: Is this going to be boring or exciting? Let's watch. This show will not be the same without Simon. Ok, that was mildly entertaining. I want more Simon Cowell montages. And I want Kara's sparkly bracelet.

Siobhan and Hoo Haa

Mo Pie: [Laughing at the fact that Weetabix has just typed "Siobhan and Hoo Haa" as a subhead.]
Weetabix: Well I didn't know who it was!
Mo Pie: Hoo Haa is Aaron Kelly. And THIS is a Lite Radio song.
Weetabix: Oh, big time.
Mo Pie: This is the most incongruous love duet ever. Hoo Haa is much smaller than Siobhan.
Weetabix: He's going to swallow her whole... IT'S THE GIBBS!
Mo Pie: [singing] It's the Barry Gibb Talk Show....
Weetabix: This makes me happy. These people in the audience don't know who the Gibbs are. I bet Hoo Haa doesn't know who they are.
Mo Pie: I'm very sad. We could have been calling him Hoo Haa all season.
Weetabix: Why does Robin have transition lenses from Lens Crafters on?
Mo Pie: Where are Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake?
Weetabix: That would actually be much more fun, although I love the Gibbs.
Mo Pie: No I mean, replace Siobhan and Hoo Haa with them.
Weetabix: Oh, that would be a perfect storm! Jordin Sparks is singing along in the audience, annoyed she wasn't allowed to sing.
Mo Pie: Does Old Man Hicks still look pissed off?
Weetabix: He kinda looks like George Clooney.
Mo Pie: Well that's appropriate, since George Clooney is like 60.
Weetabix: He is not! He can't be sixty! I'm looking it up. [Looks it up] He's not even 50! He just turned 49.
Mo Pie: Oops. Sorry, George! My point is, Taylor Hicks still looks old.
Weetabix: And I just found possibly the only non-sexy picture of George Clooney ever.

Michael Lynche

Weetabix: I'm paused on Michael Lynche, who I thought for a second was Ruben.
Mo Pie: I hope Ruben actually comes out.
Weetabix: Oh my god, I hop they bring out Michael McDonald now! I love him!
Mo Pie: I have no idea who that is.
Weetabix: He's Lite FM.
Mo Pie: Well I'm not a student of Lite FM, just a listener.
Weetabix: He's allways like "fooohhhhhhhhh fhhhooooooooo" like that.
[Laughter]
Mo Pie: I have just done my best to type that sound effect.
Weetabix: I called it. There he is!
Mo Pie: "Fnnrrrr fuuuh...." Do the sound again!
Weetabix: I can't do it now, I'm laughing too hard. But am I right? That's what he sounds like?
Mo Pie: Sure! Michael has a giant wallet chain. It seems to be made of aluminum foil.
Weetabix: It sure is huge. Well... we've all heard that.
Mo Pie: Fnnnnrrrrr! Fuuhhrrrnrrrrrr!
[Laughter]

Dane Cook

Mo Pie: Yay, more Simon montage! And Dane Cook? Not David Cook?
Weetabix: Oh shut, up really?
Mo Pie: I thought you were in love with Dane Cook.
Weetabix: I have an unfortunate attraction to douchebags. He is on my list of shame, of people I would sleep with.
Mo Pie: I would rather see a montage than Dane Cook.
Weetabix: I'm just enjoying the view.
Mo Pie: You have issues.
Weetabix: Yes.
Mo Pie: I did admit the fanfiction thing, so...
Weetabix: That's really what Weetapidol is all about. Us admitting our fatal flaws.
Weetabix: Oh my god, they brought back the people they've mocked in the past.
Mo Pie: Is Pants on the Ground man there?
W I don't know Pants on the Ground man. And they just cut that off because it was dumb. This is a lot of filler.

Christina Aguilera Medley

Mo Pie: This reminds me of Glee. Mercedes sang this in concert and it was good.
Weetabix: See, and that's the thing: I would be very excited if instead of Christina Aguilera coming out, Mercedes comes out.
Mo Pie: I would enjoy it if someone with talent came out.
Weetabix: Who is that?
Mo Pie: That's that Didi chick?
Weetabix: She's showing a ton of tit.
Mo Pie: Boy there's a lot of bum notes in this group. Except Crystal, of course. I do enjoy Siobhan's ripped tights, though.
Weetabix: I honestly do not remember half of these girls.
Mo Pie: Well, Paige was awful, Lacey was awful, Katie was kind of awful and Didi and Siobhan were kind of cool.
Weetabix: Aw yeah, I totally called that!
Mo Pie: Yay Christina!!
Weetabix: She didn't really do anything. All she did was stand and point.
Mo Pie: Yeah, that was very anticlimatic. Wait, maybe she's going to sing now, right? You don't have Christina Aguilera on and don't let her sing. Ok, she's going to sing.
Weetabix: Phew. I like HER tights.
Mo Pie: Yeah!
Weetabix: This must be her new single.
Mo Pie: One of the suggestions I heard for the show now that Simon is gone is because he's anti-Broadway, is to bring in some Broadway! Do some show tunes! I would watch the hell out of that.
Weetabix: Would you watch the hell out of that even if Jamie Foxx was the judge?
Mo Pie: Uh, no, I would not watch the Jamie Foxx parts. But I did love the Legally Blonde reality show. Even though the musical kind of sucked, the reality show was so much fun! Yeah, this is a boring song.
Weetabix: They need a lot of filler.
Mo Pie: Can we ff?
Weetabix: Yes.
Mo Pie: Oh my god, have Ricky Gervais be the new judge! Oh my god, I would watch that for sure. FOR SURE!
Weetabix: If we're picking dream judges, then I'm just going to say it right now. Eddie Izzard.
Mo Pie: Oh my god, that would be good.
Weetabix: I feel like it needs to be someone British. They like to put us in our place.
Mo Pie: I love Ricky Gervais. He should be the judge. He knows nothing about music but who cares?
Weetabix: Yeah, Jamie Foxx. He knows nothing about music either!
Mo Pie: I refuse to believe Jamie Foxx is going to be it. It would be the worst choice ever. Ever. EVERRRRR.

Hall and Oates Medley

Weetabix: Oh no, not Hall and Oates. Apparently it's "haul out every performer from the 80s and Christina Aguilera" night.
Mo Pie: Does that mean we're going to get Duran Duran? Because that would be exciting.
Weetabix: No, they're too good for this show. Wow, Andrew Garcia, you're kind of lousy. You don't realize how lousy some of them are until they come back for the finale and open their mouths.
Mo Pie: I wonder if people are actually going to go to this tour.
Weetabix: Well the Glee tour is out there. If I'm going to get my girly fix of the summer it's going to be Glee, and not this bullshit.
Mo Pie: But Glee is only going to four cities. There's not that many tickets.
Weetabix: Yeah I know. It was in Chicago last weekend and I should have bought tickets, but I didn't.
Mo Pie: It was so gooooooood.
Weetabix: I think I'm just getting crowdphobic.
Mo Pie: Is that Hall and/or Oates?
Weetabix: Yes, that's Hall. And John Oates there has got the Jewfro.
Mo Pie: I thought he had like a mustache?
Weetabix: He used to. Now apparently he's gone soul patch.
Mo Pie: Oh Lee. Oh Hall and/or Oates. Bored now.
Weetabix: I have to say I do enjoy "Sarah Smiles." I think that's the only good Hall and Oates song. Are you secretly fuffing?
Mo Pie: No, I'm not, but let's ff.

Alanis Morrisette

Mo Pie: We've now moved into the 90s with Alanis.
Weetabix: Who, by the way, I'm related to. I've told you that before, haven't I? My mother's maiden name is Morrisette.
Mo Pie: Well maybe your cousin or aunt or whatever will show up in a second.
Weetabix: Perhaps. She did not call and alert me.
Mo Pie: Yes, of course, there she is.
Weetabix: You know what the queer thing is though? She actually does look like my mother in some ways. Her nose. Even though I don't think that's her nose. But she kind of has the same bone structure and the same body structure.
Mo Pie: "Would she go down with you to the theater"????
Weetabix: Hahahaha! That's awesome. No, I will not go down with you to the theater!
Mo Pie: That's funny. That's like "I am tired of these these mother-flower snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane."
Weetabix: Did you ever see the cover that Alanis did of "My Humps"? I enjoy that.
Mo Pie: Yes. That was good. And so is this!
Weetabix: That was delightful. That's the first performance that I didn't want to ff.

Carrie Underwood

Mo Pie: I'm excited to see Carrie. That's a little weird, but I like her songs.
Weetabix: I swear that's the same intro as her "right now" song.
Mo Pie: I want Kristin Chenoweth to come sing it with her, like on Glee!
Weetabix: That would be awesome! No, there won't be any Glee crossovers, damnit. There should be though. They should have that as a reality show, trying out for Glee.
Mo Pie: They're having that show! They're casting Kurt's boyfriend, a love interest for Mercedes, and a Carrie Underwood type. I actually cannot wait for that show!
Weetabix: Ooh. Yeah, it will be good.
Mo Pie: I don't know at what point I stared enjoying Carrie, even though I've heard she's a total bitch. I also enjoy her outfit.
Weetabix: I was gonna say. It's like a country dominatrix thing.
Mo Pie: I enjoy this song. I would probably listen to this. Wow, her teeth are super white! And wow, Kara co-wrote that song?
Weetabix: Really?
Mo Pie: And yet I didn't hate it.

Casey James "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"

Mo Pie: Yeah, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"! This is a good song for Casey! Plus, he's going to get to meet fresh-out-of-a-coma Bret Michaels!
Weetabix: Ha!
Mo Pie: Yay Bret Michaels! You're alive! Unlike Gary Coleman!
Weetabix: What makes you say that? I mean I know he died today and all, but....
Mo Pie: Well, Bret Michaels was hanging on by a thread due to a head injury and then Gary Coleman had a head injury apparently and he just died, so... logic!
Weetabix: Oh yeah, you're right!
Mo Pie: I actually hadn't thought about the head injury connection, though, I was really thinking celebrity deaths and almost deaths. But I'm glad that Bret Michaels made it.
Weetabix: Go Bret Michaels!
Mo Pie: Go you and your living!

Lee Dewyze and Chicago!

Weetabix: Again, the 80s. Christina's got to be feeling kind of bad right now.
Mo Pie: Well, Alanis was the 90s, right? So they can hang out outside this little time warp that the show is on. Wait, was Poison the 80s?
Weetabix: Yeah, 1988ish.
Mo Pie: Oh, go little Chicago man!
Weetabix: That's Peter Cetera!
Mo Pie: Really?
Weetabix: Yeah, that's what Peter Cetera did before he had a solo career. He was in Chicago.
Mo Pie: It's so weird that they have all of these bands that the audience has no idea who they are.
Weetabix: I know, it's like Guy Lombardo would be to us. We'd be like "Huh?"
Mo Pie: Think of how awesome it was last time when they had Adam and Kris singing with Queen.
Weetabix: Another band that the audience didn't know.
Mo Pie: Well, they had Queen week, so the audience knew that they did Bohemian Rhapsody. Or maybe I'm just projecting.

Pants on the Ground

Mo Pie: I love how the memorable moments Ryan just listed were Kelly, Fantasia, and Adam. Winner, winner, and runner up.
Weetabix: Winner, winner, and chicken dinner.
Mo Pie: Ha! And it is the Pants on the Ground man!
Weetabix: I don't even know who this guy is.
Mo Pie: He's the Pants on the Ground man!
Weetabix: I've gathered.
Mo Pie: He's vaguely confused so this is a little unfortunate. Oh god, William Hung. We don't need William Hung again, show.
Weetabix: He's got to be what, now, forty?
Mo Pie: William Hung was like, five seasons ago?
Weetabix: Wasn't he first season?
Mo Pie: I thought it was like third season? Hmm.

Paula Montage

Mo Pie: Do you think they're going to bring Paula back net season?
Weetabix: No.
Mo Pie: I've heard rumors.
Weetabix: They need a mean person. A mean, preferably British person.
Mo Pie: I heard they might replace Kara with Paula.
Weetabix: That is in your dreams. You are daydreaming.
Mo Pie: Don't make fun of Randy's man-boobs, Paula. Randy's not mean, he doesn't deserve that.
Weetabix: True. Aw, Paula's tribute was very sweet. AND THERE'S PAULA! Or as Simon would say [British acccent] "POULA." Why is she getting a standing ovation? All she did was walk on the stage?
Mo Pie: Everyone misses her!
Weetabix: She looks so cute there in her red dress! I hope she goes and face plants on Kara.
Mo Pie: Ellen and Paula! Have they even met?
Weetabix: Maybe not.
Mo Pie: This is kind of filler, though.
Weetabix: Yeah, this is kind of awkward.
Mo Pie: We don't need... this. She's gonna give a speech?
Weetabix: You know what this reminds me of? Weddings where the drunken bridesmaid goes up to give a toast and you can't get the microphone away from her.
Mo Pie: She's even wearing kind of a bridesmaid's dress.
Weetabix: And all the of the jewelry from all the other bridesmaids.
Mo Pie: And she's still talking.
Weetabix: It's like no time has passed, because she's just rambling, except she doesn't have Simon to cut her off.
Mo Pie: And she's not saying, like, magic fluffy kitty unicorn. But just give her a second.
Weetabix: They musicked her off. Aw, little flashback Kelly! And Dunkleman! For just a second.
Mo Pie: They didn't bring him out to give a speech?
Weetabix: He's too busy valeting Paula's car.
Mo Pie: Ha!

Previous Idols

Weetabix: KELLY!!
Mo Pie: KELLY!!! Aw, it's the very first Idol! And there's Ruben!
Weetabix: Wow, Ruben has loist a significant amount of weight. Fantasia!
Mo Pie: I love Fantasia!
Weetabix: And Carrie was already there.
Mo Pie: They're not gonna let Taylor sing. There's Jordin! They really did just skip him.
Weetabix: They did! Oh... there he is.
Mo Pie: Go, Old Man Hicks! And there's Kris.... I wonder where David Cook is?
Weetabix: Maybe he's just not coming out. Aren't we missing someone else?
Mo Pie: Lee?
Weetabix: Oh well. Yeah, where is David Cook?
Mo Pie: There must be a good reason. People who are way more famous than him are there.
Weetabix: Did you see that? Kelly just had to usher Paula off Simon's lap. There was drama.
Weetabix: There's Castro! Ace Young and Justin Guarini! And douchey penis-nosed whats his face?
Mo Pie: Constantine is there?
Weetabix: They're all wearing white like the've died. Oh, Elliot! Elliot Yamin! I'm surprised they didn't get J. Hud.
Mo Pie: There's Archuleta!
Weetabix: Jordin didn't get the memo that she wasn't supposed to wear white like the also rans.
Mo Pie: There's no Lamberrrr.
Weetabix: Because he's too good for this show.
Mo Pie: Ruben looks fancy.
Weetabix: Oh my god, so now Simon's unbuttoned to the fifth button.
Mo Pie: Paula did that.
Weetabix: Why is Paula going up? Now they have the smoke of the dead.
Mo Pie: I don't know who some of those people are up there.
Weetabix: No. I see Archuleta. The guy with the fro is Justin Guarini.
Mo Pie: But who's the blonde next to Guarini?
Weetabix: Katherine McPhee? She's blonde now, right?
Mo Pie: No... that's not Katherine, I don't think... I just want them to show all the people.
Weetabix: They're just going to rob us of that. They just showed quick clips.
Mo Pie: They kept Taylor out of all those shots.
[We rewind and try to spot more people]
Mo Pie: I'm sad they didn't make more of this... like, people like Diana Digarmo should have been able to sing.
Weetabix: Fuck yeah.
Mo Pie: I mean, Diana and Bo came in second place, they weren't like total also-rans.
Weetabix: Most of the second place finishers were there... Guarini, Archuleta... and I think McPhee was there somewhere.
Mo Pie: I still don't see McPhee, but I wanted more singing from the old Idols!

TOP 12, Janet Jackson

Mo Pie: I would much rather see the people from previous seasns like this boring-ass top 12.
Weetabix: Well, the argument could be made that the boring-ass top 12, this is their time. The other people had their time. But you're right. I would actually like to see all of them sing at some point. Oh, Janet Jackson! Another person from the 80s. Although she was actually 90s too.
Mo Pie: She's kind of like the same as Paula Abdul.
Weetabix: Maybe she could replace Kara. Why is she wearing the evil queen from Snow White clothes?
Mo Pie: Why isn't Diana DiGarmo singing? I like her!
Weetabix: It really does unnerve me how much Janet's voice sounds like Michael's.
Mo Pie: Especially right now, in this song. Like, it could be the same person if you close your eyes.
Weetabix: That's what I'm saying.
Mo Pie: This is unfortunately boring though.
Weetabix: If this were Constantine, I'd be listening.
Mo Pie: There are weird dancers but it's more lively!
Weetabix: Ooh, she's going to dance! She's changing behind a screen!
Mo Pie: She's dancing kind of weirdly.
Weetabix: She's old.
Mo Pie: She's not that old.
Weetabix: She's sixty, like George Clooney.
Mo Pie: Hahahaha! You're so mean.

Lee and Crystal

Mo Pie: Isn't Joe Cocker kind of the same as Taylor Hicks?
Weetabix: Pretty much.
Mo Pie: Who cares!
Weetabix: Oh god, he forgot the words. Quite honestly, I thought he was dead. Like, of a drug overdose years ago.
Mo Pie: Apparently not.
Weetabix: I think I confused him with John Belushi.
Mo Pie: Last chance to say... "Predictions?"
Both: Hahahahahah!
Mo Pie: Oh, Lee is crying! Oh, little Lee.
Weetabix: I think they tell them before they go out.
Mo Pie: They are both certainly acting like it's about to be Lee.
Weetabix: I think they both know.
Mo Pie: Oh he didn't even hug Crystal!
Weetabix: So much for getting by with a little help from their friends.
Mo Pie: I really don't understand how this happened but... you go, Lee Dewyze. Now he's going to sing his song. I just don't think he's got a very interesting voice--I don't know. I think I've made my point. And also, I'm still disappointed Diana DiGarmo didn't get to sing.
Weetabix: Any closing words for the season?
Mo Pie: The season was really boring. And... I don't know, they're going to have to do something to get me back next season. What do you think?
Weetabix: Where Mopie goes, so goes my nation.
Mo Pie: I also heard the idea that they could do an All Star season with all the people who didn't win. Like Daughtry! and Adam Lamberrr and Clay Aiken. Can you imagine? The dueling fan bases?
Weetabix: Oh my god, you would be so conflicted!
Mo Pie: I know, I would probably go Adam Lamberr. I love him! But oh my god, Daughtry would be there too! I don't know! So that's my prediction, I want them to do that and also have Ricky Gervais be the judge. Oh, and do Broadway songs.

Weetapidol out!

P.S. Congratulations Carly for winning the Weetapidol pool! Email us your address and your American Idol-related prize of choice! And see you next season! ...Maybe.

Top 3 Night: We Can't Just Sugar Free Kool-Aid This Bitch.

2010-05-20T14:58:00.000-07:00

Weetabix: I'm embarrassed when Ryan tries to bring any legitimacy to the intros.
Mo Pie: Me too. This isn’t the Oscars, Ryan.
Weetabix: Oh, he let the Idols say "This is American Idol"! This might be a first.
Mo Pie: It might just be!
Weetabix: Judging by the Twitter feed, and the fact that Lee DeWyze is singing one of my favorite songs tonight, I had to drink the wines. I can't just Sugar Free Kool-Aid this bitch.
Mo Pie: Hee!
Weetabix: I have this theory that Lee is doing do well because America is sad they didn't vote for Danny Gokey. Either that or they really think he's BJ Novak.
Mo Pie: I still think Crystal's going to win.
Weetabix: Really?
Mo Pie: I'm calling it. Crystal.
Weetabix: Randy is wearing a repeat sweater!
Mo Pie: So he is!

Casey, "Okay, It's Alright With Me"

Mo Pie: I don't know this song.
Weetabix: Me either. It must be country.
Mo Pie: There's no suspense here. Casey is going home.
Weetabix: We’ll find out by the time we're done blogging this, because the results will be in.
Mo Pie: I stopped expecting any upsets this season. I guess Siobhan leaving was an upset.
Weetabix: Siobhan was a big shocker! Either her or Michael Lynche.
Mo Pie: The first time or the second time?
Weetabix: The first time. The second time was more like, “Are you gone yet?"
Mo Pie: This is just boring me. Which is my standard reaction this season.
Weetabix: Yeah. This song, it's been now done, and I already don't remember it anymore. Also, the light seemed to be making bowling pins on the stage. Casey lights seem to be a fail.
Mo Pie: I love how Randy got to give a shout out to his favorite word, "Alright."
Weetabix: It's the little things, for Randy.
Mo Pie: I do enjoy Ellen's sweater.
Weetabix: I'm pretty sure I had a sweater like that in 1992, that I wore with LL Bean Duck Shoes.
Mo Pie: I don't know what that means, but I would buy the hell out of that sweater. I think Emma Pillsbury has a similar sweater on Glee.
Weetabix: Ah, but there it was paired with a necklace or a bow-like scarf.
Mo Pie: "Casey sounds like a busker" is pretty good criticism from Simon!
Weetabix: That was fairly astute. Casey is a busker.
Mo Pie: Oh, Blonde Ace. I will... sort of miss you.
Weetabix: In your pants.

Crystal Bowersox, “Come to My Window”

Weetabix: Crystal has got some kind of creepy necklace, it's coming right out of her throat.
Mo Pie: I think that's called a harmonica.
Weetabix: No, also that, but a necklace! Coming out of her throat!
Mo Pie: Oh yeah! It's like a tree or something.
Weetabix: Maybe it's the physical representation of her voice?
Mo Pie: I'm excited that she's doing Melissa Etheridge. She's had her guitar signed and everything by Melissa Etheridge. But it's awkward to have that harmonica just sticking out there. I think she should have lost the harmonica.
Weetabix: It does make her hold her head strangely, singing around it.
Mo Pie: I feel that there's no surprises about this. It's totally Crystal. It's great, but what else have you got? And also, I didn't get an Adam Lamberrr ticket this morning. They sold out. I thought I was going to get one!
Weetabix: I'm sorry to hear that.
Mo Pie: I can get them from craigslist or something, but my point was, I cannot imagine trying this hard to get a Crystal Bowersox ticket. I'm imagining myself a year from today and I can't see myself wanting to go see a Crystal Bowersox concert.
Weetabix: Oh sure, Ellen, of course you love this song, it's about a lesbian.
Mo Pie: Kara's just going to call the singer “Melissa.” You're not a lesbian, Kara, you don’t get to use her first name. You're not in the lesbian club so you just shut it.
Weetabix: Hee.
Mo Pie: I agree with Simon. She's no Adam Lamberrr.
Weetabix: It's not about your son being healthy. It's about standing outside some woman's window that you want to have sex with!
Mo Pie: Yes, she's missed that point completely. It's about eating pussy, Crystal!

Lee DeWyze, "Simple Man"

Weetabix: I keep getting him confused with Danny Gokey. I keep thinking, is he from Milwaukee?
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: So how many boring white guys will have won in a row if Lee wins?
Mo Pie: Three?
Weetabix: I think it's a shoutout to “Dear Mo Pie, Your Demographic Theory? Forget It.” Because if it comes down to Casey and Lee...
Mo Pie: Ugh, I know.
Weetabix: What a sucktastic song to pick for yourself.
Mo Pie: I don't know this song.
Weetabix: It's on the Classic Rock station, that’s why. You're listening to Lite FM, and I'm listening to stations people our age actually listen to. So we totally missed this.
Mo Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: I bet all the 50-year-old men in the audience are loving this. “SKYNAARRDD!” This guy's gonna open for Dave Matthews Band, that's all I'm saying.
Mo Pie: Again, and still, I'm bored.
Weetabix: I'm less bored than with Casey James, maybe because a decade ago I would be swooning over this. He doesn't have the—yes I will say it—RAW SEXUALITY of Danny Gokey.
Mo Pie: WHAT!??!?!
Weetabix: Yes. I'll give you five reasons.
Mo Pie: [Incredulous laughter]
Weetabix: 1. Wallet chain.
Mo Pie: Obviously.
Weetabix: 2. Glasses.
Mo Pie: Again, yes, I will cosign that.
Weetabix: 3. Not 5'2"
Mo Pie: I also like tall guys, I'm with you.
Weetabix: 4. From the land of Wisconsin.
Mo Pie: Sure.
Weetabix: 5. Tragic backstory that makes you feel like you have to fix him.
Mo Pie: Well played. Well played.
Weetabix: Thank you. I probably shouldn't have front-loaded with the accessories. But still. It's a valid list.
Mo Pie: Indeed.
Weetabix: I do like what Ellen brings to the table here. Even when she's talking crazy, it makes sense.
Mo Pie: I agree, I am pro-Ellen. And I love how Kara thinks she can determine who the winner of round one is. NO, KARA, ONLY SIMON CAN DO THAT.
Weetabix: She's just making a power play. As soon as Simon is gone, she's going to get all alpha on that panel. God help whoever the fourth judge is. Jamie Foxx or Sharon Osborne or whoever. I hope it's the guy from Celebrity Weight Loss Camp.
Mo Pie: I've never seen it, but I'll take your word for it.
Weetabix: Willie Aames was on it. And Jay from Project Runway was also on it.
Mo Pie: Lee, you're not gonna win. I'm calling it still: Crystal.
Weetabix: I think Lee has a chance. I think he's gonna Kris Allen his way in. We never would have picked Kris Allen.
Mo Pie: That's true. I'm still going Crystal. It'll make the finale more interesting, because we both have an idea.
Weetabix: Well, I'll be very happy if Crystal wins.

Casey James, “Daughters”

Weetabix: Kara's skirt is CUTE!
Mo Pie: That might be a dress, but it's SUPER CUTE! It's sparkly. Oh no, we get to see the boring hometown visits. I'll sum it up: people are excited to see famous people. That's a quote from David Brent.
Weetabix: Heh.
Mo Pie: He's going to do “Daughters” by John Mayer. I also like John Mayer in spite of myself.
Weetabix: Why, because you like douchey men?
Mo Pie: Yes. It's interesting that they made Randy and Kara share a song choice but Ellen gets her own. Maybe Kara isn't the alpha, and I'll bet she's pissed! She only gets half a song!
Weetabix: Oooh.
Mo Pie: Why does Casey need someone else on the stage with a guitar when he has a guitar?
Weetabix: Maybe because he can't really play?
Mo Pie: I feel like he's more consistent than Lee, but I also think Lee hits higher highs and lower lows. I don't think Casey is pitchy, he's just boring.
Weetabix: I think this sounds really good.
Mo Pie: I wonder if Casey is playing fake guitar. I'm very obsessed with this whole two-guitars thing. I think it's good though. I would actually download this. I mean, for free.
Weetabix: Heee! That's the tell.
Mo Pie: That was very pleasant. My boredom-o-meter kicked a little toward slight interest.
Weetabix: Too bad this isn't called Pleasant Idol.
Mo Pie: Again, reminding us that there are gay people in the world. Thank you Ellen. Aaaagh, I hate Kara! I haven't said that in a while, but I still hate Kara! She just presents herself like "I'm Simon," like she's the authority that people are waiting to hear. You get half a vote, Kara! HALF A VOTE!
Weetabix: Yes.
Mo Pie: I think Simon just made fun of John Mayer.
Weetabix: And his penis.
Mo Pie: This song is flaccid. Oh, Kara's going to tell us how the song is. Kara's getting defensive about her John Mayer choice.
Weetabix: She wants to have sex with John Mayer. She fancies herself the Jennifer Aniston of the judges panel.
Mo Pie: My spectrum for watching this show is like, Asleep, Bored, Mild Interest, Interest, Would Actually Vote. I don't think I have ever gotten over to Would Actually Vote this season. Certainly not this episode.

Crystal Bowersox, "Maybe I'm Amazed"

Weetabix: They've got the worst intros. She's in front of a strip mall! Like, Danny Gokey was in Miller Park. She's in front of an England Furniture Gallery.
Mo Pie: Again, I must point out, Ellen gets a full song choice!
Weetabix: I'm waiting for Kara to jump in on the intro. Half of Kara's face is falling, like she can't hold a fake smile for very long. Hey, Crystal's not hiding behind her guitar!
Mo Pie: Go Crystal! She doesn't have an awkward harmonica either.
Weetabix: Thank god.
Mo Pie: I feel like this is another kinda sleepy song. You would think I'd like it then, because it's very Lite FM.
Weetabix: It is. In fact, when I worked at JC Penney when I was 19, this was on the Muzak. Every day at 10:47 AM.
Mo Pie: So, not a fan, then?
Weetabix: I actually am very.... like, back in the day, I was very Team Paul. I was very into Paul McCartney when I was 8.
Mo Pie: I always liked Ringo. I liked him as the Mock Turtle in the Alice in Wonderland miniseries.
Weetabix: He definitely had the most charisma out of all the Beatles, I think. And Paul McCartney now looks a little like Dorothy Zbornak.
Mo Pie: I think she did well, it was good. KAAAARRAA.
Weetabix: Wow, that sounded like an actual zombie groan.
Mo Pie: I want to eat her brains.
Weetabix: Kara gives her grudging acceptance to a song she didn't pick. Or write.
Mo Pie: Aw, a little wink from Simon.
Weetabix: Benediction of Ellen's choice from Simon, and castigation of Kara and Randy's song choice. And a pan up and down on Crystal. They don't do a full body scan of the boys, by the way,
Mo Pie: Ooh, interesting.
Weetabix: And they just did another one.
Mo Pie: Fuck the patriarchy!
Weetabix: Fuck the motherfuckin' man!

Lee Dewyze, “Hallelujah”

Weetabix: Lee is from Chicago!
Mo Pie: It is adjacent to Wisconsin! It is driving distance from Milwaukee! And I know that because you and I went to Milwaukee and also Chicago. So, usually whoever gets the Simon song is the pimped contestant. So they want Lee to win? My demographic theory is really taking a lot of hits.
Weetabix: Hmm.
Mo Pie: I kinda wish that Danny... wait, that’s is not his name... I kind of wish that this guy was not playing guitar… Lee. I know he's not Danny Gokey. I blame you for this!
Weetabix: Heee!
Mo Pie: And I sure wish that they didn't have the Idolettes behind him... and a fucking smoke machine?
Weetabix: The Chris lights aren't working anymore, so we're throwing EVERYTHING AT YOU!
Mo Pie: I'm not sure he deserves all of this. I mean, this is a fine song, I just don't know that it deserves a gospel choir and a fog machine. That was such a manufactured moment.
Weetabix: You're right. It was totally false emotion on the stage.
Mo Pie: And the judges all look like they're happy.
Weetabix: Lee's like "I don't know, they just came out singing behind me." It's not like Lee gets to request a choir and a smoke machine.
Mo Pie: “You know what would really fit here? Some smoke!” He's not going to win! Maybe I'm living in an alternate universe where Lee just isn't very good.
Weetabix: No, that's our universe.
Mo Pie: That's our actual universe? Oh, ok. Well, I’m ready to make my predictions.
Weetabix: And they are?
Mo Pie: I think obviously it will be Lee and Crystal in the finale and I think Casey is gone. I would genuinely be shocked if Casey wasn't gone. Oh hush up, Danny Fauxkey! He just doesn't do it for me.
Weetabix: You were a Danny Gokey hater.
Mo Pie: I wasn't a Danny Gokey hater. I just Adam Lamberrr lover.
Weetabix: To be clear, I wasn't an Adam Lamberrr hater, I just had unexplainable Danny Gokey longings.

[And here, our transcript ends. Weetapidol out.]

Top 3 Pool Results

2010-05-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

Poor Casey, not even John Mayer could save him in the face of Lee Dewyze's gospel choir and fog machine. TeKay, Shmuel and Weet correctly predicted that Casey would get third place, giving them all a collective surge forward in the rankings. Carly is still holding her lead, but expect big things next week for Jeremy, who was the only person in the pool to correctly predict the final two and in fact, the only person who knew that Lee was going to make it this far.

Also, would you look at the Hive Mind? Seriously, that's just creepy.

Carly    97
Hive Mind    96
Gila    94
Mopie    93
Shari    93
TeKay    92
Wendi    92
Weet    90
Jeremy    90
Kelly S    89
Shmuel    89
Martha    88
Kim    87
Anti Shmuel    76

Top 4 Pool Results

2010-05-19T04:48:00.000-07:00

Michael Lynche earned the ire of America the second time this season and got voted off for realsies, leaving the state of our spreadsheet in total chaos, as he was originally voted off in 9th place but then in 4th place means that the average of the two is 6.5. Seems simple, right? Not when it came to our scoring spreadsheet. We did a bunch of calculating and then it worked but we realized that now everyone had a .5 on their score and Weet's OCD drove her to complain about things not looking "tidy" and since everyone was affected equally we rounded that .5 up to a full point. As Mo said, math is funny.

Now, ready for the rub? With the exception of Anti-Shmuel, all of us thought Michael would be America's Sweetheart for much longer than he was. In fact, over 90% of the pool put him in their Top 4. Ouch. Wendi and Jeremy actually predicted that Michael would go home this week, but because he only stuck around because of the stupid judge's choice rule, they ended up only getting 9 points instead of the full 12 for that prognostication. Mopie was closest to the modified ranking with her prediction of 7th place, which gave her a push to second place in the pool results.

It would seem like Carly has a lock on first and with two of her top three still on the show, she's due for some major pointage in the coming weeks, but the rest of us can take heart, as 75% of the pool ranked Crystal in their Top 3 and 25% ranked Lee or Casey in their Top 3. It's still anyone's game!

Carly 88
Hive Mind 85
Mopie 84
Shari 84
Gila 83
Wendi 82
Jeremy 82
TeKay 80
Kim 79
Martha 78
Weet 78
Kelly 78
Shmuel 77
Anti Shmuel 71

Top 4: Michael Jackson in a Tree

2010-05-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

Mo Pie: I have to tell you the bad news: Jamie Foxx is the mentor this week. They say that they’re considering having him as the fourth judge of American Idol and if that happens, I think I’ll stop watching American Idol.
Weetabix: I cosign that.
Mo Pie: You know my opening credits “spot Taylor” game? If the game was “spot David Cook,” I would totally be winning, because I've seen him like five times.
Weetabix: Who are they going to get rid of if they are having Jamie Foxx?
Mo Pie: Well, Simon is leaving.
Weetabix: Oh. Yeah.
Mo Pie: Yeah, can you imagine trading Simon, who's not perfect, but he's Simon... for Jamie Foxx. Eeeeh.
Weetabix: I think I will have lost all enthusiasm for this show, which arguably isn't a lot.
Mo Pie: I'm trying to think, like, what if they had a contestant as good as Adam Lamberr but with Jamie Foxx as a judge? Then I think I'd have to watch but fast forward through most of it. But I think some of the magic would be gone.
Weetabix: Oh my god, they're justifying having Jamie Foxx as the mentor with this montage.
Mo Pie: He's a multi-platinum R&B artist?
Weetabix: Who is buying that record?
Mo Pie: I have no idea. Oh god, Jamie Foxx. He has like zero credibility.
Weetabix: Bring back Miley Cyrus!
Mo Pie: Ha! Yes. Oh my god, Jamie Foxx, you're so annoying!
Weetabix: He's so self-righteous!
Mo Pie: He is! He's so smug! What's with the T-shirts?
Weetabix: Jamie Foxx, you should have a t-shirt that says DUMB ASS

Lee DeWyze, “Kiss from a Rose”

Mo Pie: Jamie Foxx is going to make out with Lee… that will liven up the show! I think this is Jamie Foxx's only mentoring technique, to try to kiss the dudes. I hear he's on the downlow, so that would make sense.
Weetabix: This song got Heidi Klum in bed, so it's potent.
Mo Pie: I used to love this song.
Weetabix: Really?
Mo Pie: Oh yeah. But Lee doesn't have Seal's falsetto.
Weetabix: What movie was this from, Batman?
Mo Pie: Yeah, not the first one, but one of the subsequent ones. Not Michael Keaton, but one of the other ones.
Weetabix: Kilmer, maybe?
Mo Pie: He sounds awful. Am I crazy? Does this sound good?
Weetabix: You are not crazy.
Mo Pie: I'm actually getting tense, waiting for his voice to crack again. Acapella Randy now has an alligator on his shirt. Now he's basically dressed as Andy Bernard from The Office.
Weetabix: Who is also in an acapella group.
Mo Pie: Exactly. Oh, Ellen's little scarf thing? I love it!
Weetabix: It's an ascot week! It's going to be a good week.
Mo Pie: And Kara is dressed like a motivational speaker.
Weetabix: Oh my god, she's totally a middle manager. Or a second-tier Mary Kay sales leader.
Mo Pie: Can you imagine how terrifying that would be, to have her pull up in her pink car and assault you with blusher?
[Mo refills wine and then sings in falsetto, relaying a "Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" anecdote which is adorable and too difficult to relay.]

Michael Lynche, “I Will Be There”

Weetabix: Jamie Foxx has got a skull tattoo?
Mo Pie: Is this "I Will Be There"? I like this song. What movie is it from?
Weetabix: I don't even know what song it is yet.
Mo Pie: The River Jordan song.
Weetabix: Rupert Jordan?
Mo Pie: River Jordan.
Weetabix: No idea.
Mo Pie: I think it's Michael Jackson?
Weetabix: I think it's The Lion King or something.
Mo Pie: Same thing.
Weetabix: This sounds familiar. I'm not joking, I think this is a Disney movie.
Mo Pie: I still think it's Michael Jackson. I'm going with Michael Jackson. Maybe for a Disney movie!
Weetabix: Googling "hold me" and "lift me up" brings up a song from Zach and Miri Make a Porno. And I don't think that's it!
Mo Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: I don't know. It was Michael Lynche.
Mo Pie: Yeah. I'm really very bored.
Weetabix: You were right about Michael Jackson! Yay! You're so smart. Was it really Free Willy?
Mo Pie: I really hope so. I want to rewind the performance and listen again, this time while visualizing a killer whale swimming around.
Weetabix: Yes.
Mo Pie: Kara's outfit is still killing me. "Let me call your attention to this org chart..."
Weetabix: "I've prepared a few PowerPoint slides... I have a value stream map..." this is so close to my actual daily work that it's sad.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: By the way, a bit of trivia, Michael Jackson wrote this song while sitting in a tree at his Neverland Ranch. Is this really happening?
Mo Pie: I was about to ask you the same thing.
Weetabix: I don't love Big Mike, because he's totally fucked up my whole spreadsheet scoring shit, by the way.
Mo Pie: You just need to do a decimal. It'll be okay. You're very smart.

Lee and Crystal, "Falling Slowly"

Mo Pie: I love this song!
Weetabix: It reminds me of our painful attempt to sing this at karaoke.
Mo Pie: Let's not think of that. Let's just enjoy. Does Crystal Bowersox have a dream catcher in her hair?
Weetabix: Oh I love this!!!!
Mo Pie: ME TOOO!!!!!!
[It should be noted that both of our voices went up two octaves by complete accident.]
[Silence.]
Mo Pie: I'm not saying anything because I'm possibly for the first time in weeks enjoying a performance on this show. Although it's different because Crystal’s voice is in a totally different octave than Martina Irglova...Martika Irglova... something... woman.
Weetabix: The Polish woman.
Mo Pie: I believe she's Czech.
Weetabix: Right. Some middle European country.
Mo Pie: There’s Kara! She's going to give me a performance review and then we'll do a salary negotiation. Will you tell me about my 401 contribution, Kara?
Weetabix: I love it when Simon gets a little chub.
Mo Pie: Ooooh, Lee and Crystal are adorable. TOP TWO! Oooh, sexual tension! We'll have to call them Boweryze. Leestal? I'll work on it.

Casey James, "Mrs. Robinson"

Mo Pie: So, Casey's dressed like one of the Four Tops. This should be interesting. I'm paused on Jamie Foxx clapping and doing the White Man's Overbite. Which is ironic!
Weetabix: Ha! I'm not there yet.
Mo Pie: Jamie Foxx wants Casey to seduce him??
Weetabix: You were onto this! He is on the downlow. And on the lowdown. I got an update on the Vegas odds, and Casey is favored to win.
Mo Pie: No he's not! That cannot be right.
Weetabix: It did! didn't I forward it to you? Casey’s dreamy, he's got God lighting, he's got Ted Nugent, Frampton-Comes-Alive lighting.
Mo Pie: He's got a ukulele! He's not going to win.
Weetabix: That's not a ukulele, that's a guitar! He's dreamy, he's Blonde Ace!
Mo Pie: Hm.
Weetabix: Jamie's a little bit right, because Mrs. Robinson is about seduction, and he's singing it like that Hawaiian dude singing Over The Rainbow.
Mo Pie: WITH A UKELELE. This is terrible. This is really terrible.
Weetabix: He should have done… anything else. This is not a good song, with a ukulele.
Mo Pie: And then his Four Tops jacket? He's.... not going to win. He did not sound "cool," Randy.
Weetabix: Oooh oooh! I did forward it to you. Let the record show! "Casey James will leave the show this....” oh.
Mo Pie: [Laughter.]
Weetabix: Alright, I rescind my Ooh. My “Oooh oooh” privileges have been taken away.
Mo Pie: [Still laughing.]
Weetabix: Kara would like you to know that this quarter's earnings have reached a year-end low.
Mo Pie: So has this show.
Weetabix: It's true.
Mo Pie: I continue to enjoy how miniaturized Ryan Seacrest looks next to Casey.
Weetabix: He is a little oompa loompa there.

Crystal, "A Song From Caddyshack"

Weetabix: Who picks a song from Caddyshack?
Mo Pie: Apparently Crystal Bowersox.
Weetabix: I think Jamie Foxx has a chub. No lie.
Mo Pie: Oh god. Oh god, Jamie Foxx.
Weetabix: He's got to shut up with these shirts!
Mo Pie: Can you imagine if he has a gimmick like this every week as a judge? "This week, I have these dueling beer cozies to give out…"
Weetabix: Ha! Oh, this is so good.
Mo Pie: I don't know this song and I think it's good.
Weetabix: How do you not know this song? It's Caddyshack?!
Mo Pie: You didn't know the River Jordan Michael Jackson in a Tree song!
Weetabix: I've never seen Free Willy!
Mo Pie: I've never seen Caddyshack!
Weetabix: How is that possible? I even own this DVD!
Mo Pie: I don't know! Ian is also looking at me crazy.
Weetabix: Thank you Ian.
Mo Pie: [to Ian] Wendy appreciates your support.
Weetabix: I appreciate and share in his incredulity.
Mo Pie: How does it compare to the original?
Weetabix: It stands on its own!
Mo Pie: Ian says no.
Weetabix: I disagree. It was good!
Mo Pie: Simon says that Crystal's back in the game. When was she ever out of the game?
Weetabix: We missed a week.
Mo Pie: Oh, that's right, we probably missed a few weeks. Casey and Michael are going to do a Bryan Adams song? Oh my god.
Weetabix: I hope it's that song from Robin Hood.
Mo Pie: Oh, please let it be the song from Robin Hood.

Casey and Mike, "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman”

Mo Pie: Have you ever really loved a woman? Perhaps the answer, in this song, will be “no, but we have really loved each other.”
Weetabix: In Jamie Foxx's head...
Mo Pie: I hate this song. I really hate this song. And Mike can't play the guitar.
Weetabix: I think he's faking it. There's no sound coordinating to his strumming.
Mo Pie: They might as well just have given him a Rock Band guitar. Yellow yellow red green...
Weetabix: I wish they'd given him a tambourine. In fact, I wish there was one for Rock Band. I would have rocked the hell out of that. All my favorite artists are tambourinists. Davy Jones... I'm just going to name every tambourine artist so I don't have to listen to this song. I fucking hate this song.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: Linda McCartney, a tambourinist... Tracey Partridge...
Mo Pie: I think they do have a tambourine in Rock Band, where you're supposed to hit the microphone?
Weetabix: I would like an actual tambourine, none of this faux verisimillitude.
Mo Pie: "The guitar playing was excellent, CASEY."
Weetabix: Ha!
Mo Pie: And that song fucking sucks. And yay, Ellen, lesbian humor!
Weetabix: Yay, Ellen! Remind America that lesbians exist! That's what I want Ellen to do. Constantly remind America that it does not let people like Ellen and Portia di Rossi get married.
Mo Pie: Well America did let them get married, but now they want to take it back.
Weetabix: I wouldn't have called this duet a million times better than the solos. Don Juan de Marco will never be better than anything.
Mo Pie: It's better than Prop 8, that's all I'll say for it.
Weetabix: Well, a pile of shit is better than Prop 8.

Final Thoughts

Mo Pie: So, superfluous predictions, or final thoughts?
Weetabix: I predict a fucked up Excel spreadsheet.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: I have to agree with the actual Vegas odds, that Casey is stuck in third place. What does the Hive Mind think? Oh, the Hive Mind thinks Siobhan is going.
Mo Pie: Oh, I remember Siobhan!
Weetabix: The Hive Mind... the top 4 were in the Hive Mind's top 5. Not too fucking bad.
Mo Pie: Yeah, the Hive Mind is doing well this year.
Weetabix: I'm going to base all my predictions off of the Hive Mind from now on.
Mo Pie: But you can't, because you're part of the Hive Mind. So it's a Catch-22.
Weetabix: Hmm. I’ll work on it.

Weetapidol out!

Pool Update: And Your Top 4....

2010-05-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

Weetabix is out of town on business for like two weeks, so it'll take us a while before we watch the Sinatra episode. (But I need to see it since I love Sinatra, and I also love Harry Connick Jr., have you seen Memphis Belle? How cute is he!?) In the meantime...

Who would have predicted Aaron would go home this week!? I guess the answer to that is Carly, who had him going in 5th place and now zooms into first place. Weirdly, Anti-Shmuel was next with 6th place, then real Shmuel with 7th place. Math is funny.

The rest of us all had 9, 10, 11, or 12. So the new standings are!

81 points, Carly
79 points, Hive Mind
76 points, Shari, Gila
74 points, TeKay
73 points, Mo Pie, Jeremy, Wendi
72 points, Martha, Kelly S., Weet
71 points, Shmuel, Kim
65 points, Anti-Shmuel

Should be an interesting few weeks!

Top 6: It's Centrifugal Motion

2010-05-01T19:43:00.001-07:00

Mo Pie: I know we skipped a couple of weeks, but looking at these six people, I have no recollection of anyone who went home.
Weetabix: Flowers in the Attic, and Mr. Toad, and... I don't know, after that. Didi, maybe? No, Tim Urban!
Mo Pie: Tim! That's who I was forgetting.
Weetabix: Surprising, that he went home. I blame bad lighting for that week. Bad lighting sent Tim Urban home.
Mo Pie: I see.
Weetabix: Can I just say right now? I loathe country. This crossover shit? This Shania Twain crap? I don't like Shania at all. I have extreme bias. Someone's gotta make me love their shit because it's a huge uphill battle.
Mo Pie: So how do you feel about Carrie Underwood?
Weetabix: Loathe.
Mo Pie: Even "Before He Cheats"?!?
Weetabix: It's all "Twang Twang Twaaang!" I literally get a headache from steel guitar.
Mo Pie: Noted.
Weetabix: Does Ellen even try to get dressed anymore? Did you see what she's wearing? It's like she just came in from the car, shaking the rain off her hair.
Mo Pie: I didn't see her, I was typing. And it's annoying that they're only doing Shania Twain songs. Doesn't she only have three songs?
Weetabix: I think she has like eight. She's got that one that they're playing right now, and a couple that they play at this restaurant I go to all the time. You know when I hear Shania is at karaoke. I don't even know what her real self sounds like.
Mo Pie: I like the song about kissing. That's the only one I remember.
Weetabix: Sixpence None The Richer? That's not Shania Twain.
Mo Pie: No, not that one... I think she has a different one about kissing.
Weetabix: Kissing a cowboy? I'm just guessing,. I'm using Mad Libs country songs to guess.
Mo Pie: "It'll be a great week for everyone," Casey? I have a feeling it won't be a great week for Siobhan.
Weetabix: Hee. Shania's very sparkly. She has aged very well, considering she obviously tans.

Lee DeWyze, "?You're Still The One"

Weetabix: This is one of the eight songs.
Mo Pie: I just remembered, the “centrifugal motion” song is the one I was thinking of! Is that Shania Twain?
Weetabix: That's Trisha Yearwood or Faith Evans or someone. It's the blonde chick who said "motherfucker" when Carrie Underwood won the country Grammy.
Mo Pie: Lee DeWyze makes me bored. I actually like this song in a Lite Radio kind of way.
Weetabix: You and your Lite Radio. He actually reminds me when he's singing of Bruce Willis, early Moonlighting Bruce Willis.
Mo Pie: This was a friend's wedding song, so I have happy associations. But that was just aigt for me, dawg.
Weetabix: I didn't think it was bad. I think it was better than he's done.
Mo Pie: I like Randy's acapella sweater this week. And there's Ellen in her hoodie! I think she looks cute.
Weetabix: She's wearing a Members Only jacket! And Kara's already jumping on Ellen's critique.
Mo Pie: Kara just leans into whatever shot is happening. Soon she's going to poke her head in when Ryan Seacrest is introducing people.
Weetabix: She's also got bad hair tonight. Shania Twain does not approve.
ML Well Simon liked it.
Weetabix: I still think he's lulling the crowd so they vote him off.
Mo Pie: So he doesn't beat Crystal?
Weetabix: Perhaps. I don't necessarily think she's the golden child this time. I feel like they're loading us with...someone else.
Mo Pie: So who's the chosen one, then?
Weetabix: I think Siobhan was! Which threw my whole theory off. I kind of feel like it needed to be a girl.
Mo Pie: Well according to What Not To Sing, nobody has ever been voted off from the pimp spot before, unless it's like the top two or three. For 53 consecutive episodes.
Weetabix: Wow.

Michael Lynche, "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing"

Mo Pie: I bet they're upset that they wasted the save on Mike when they could have used it for Siobhan.
Weetabix: If they really wanted to save her, the grassy knoll would have saved her.
Mo Pie: They could not have anticipated that she'd get voted off in the pimp spot. It thwarted their plans.
Weetabix: Perhaps. I don't really believe anything about the voting veracity bullshit anyway.
Mo Pie: I think they don't manipulate the voting counting. I think they manipulate it through lighting, pimp spot, judges comments, that kind of thing.
Weetabix: Hmm.
Mo Pie: This is no “In The Ghetto,” Michael Lynche. But next week is Sinatra week and I'm excited because I love Sinatra songs.
Weetabix: I love Sinatra but I predict that I'm going to be upset.
Mo Pie: Because they're going to butcher it?
Weetabix: Yes, someone will do something to a song I love.
Mo Pie: I think Mike is wearing a wallet chain around his neck. Randy, how was that a great song? I don't even remember it anymore and he just sang it 30 seconds ago.
Weetabix: Yeah, it was boring..
Mo Pie: I love how Kara is just kissing Shania Twain's ass. “Let's write a song together!” Is Kara wearing tinfoil around her neck?
Weetabix: It seems to be some kind of breast place.
Mo Pie: It's a situation. A breast plate situation.
Weetabix: Did they really just talk about the wet dry thing? Did that just happen?
Mo Pie: Yes, the wet dry thing happened. Did he mean moist eyed? I don't know, someone come and sing something that makes me less bored.
Weetabix: Please.
Mo Pie: Oh Shania Twain. "I'm so emotional. Someone fix my makeup!" That was not as charming as she thought it was. "I can't be bothered to do my own makeup" does not come across well.

Casey James, "Don't"

Mo Pie: Now I can't get "Blonde Ace" out of my mind when I look at him.
Weetabix: He's totally Blonde Ace! Speaking of which, what has Brunette Ace been up to?
Mo Pie: No idea.
Weetabix: Manning the Enterprise Rent A Car counter?
Mo Pie: Hee. This song is called "Don't"? Why would someone use a contraction as a song title?
Weetabix: Because it sounds better than "Ain't"? Let's see if Blonde Ace has bad lighting like Tim Urban did last week.
Mo Pie: That wasn't last week, it was... some previous week.
Weetabix: Some other time, yes.
Mo Pie: He has pretty blue lights in his hair!
Weetabix: He has good lighting. He has the Jesus lighting, that makes him look like an angel. So is James really his last name, or is that just his middle name because his last name is unpronounceable?
Mo Pie: I have no idea. He could also be pretentious, like Megan Joy Whatsherface.
Weetabix: Oh god, I hated her. We know Aaron Kelly's last name is Kelly because his mom's name is Kelly Kelly.
Mo Pie: This is an adequate performance from Casey.
Weetabix: I'm kinda feelin' it. I don't know this song, but I'm kinda feelin' it.
Mo Pie: Maybe you're just feeling the effects of the lighting.
Weetabix: Maybe I'm feeling the effects of him in my pants. I have to agree with Randy, it really was the best Casey James performance!
Mo Pie: I wish Randy would ditch the friendship beads and let his acapella sweater speak for itself.
Weetabix: With those beads, he's trying to say "I am the father of Sandra Bullock's baby."

Crystal Bowersox

Weetabix: you know what would suck
Mo Pie: If Cyrstal Bowersox doesn't win?
Weetabix: That. And being the guest mentor and having these Idol contestants saying things like "I've been a fan of yours since I was a little girl."
Mo Pie: Oooh, Crystal has a boyfriend.
Weetabix: Well, she does have a baby.
Mo Pie: She's got a whole ensemble there.
Weetabix: And the lighting matches her dress.
Mo Pie: And there's her rug. NPR had a good article that said if Crystal Bowersox doesn't win, then American Idol is screwed. I don't know, Adam Lamberrr didn't win last year and Kris Allen has that single. It's not embarrassing that Adam didn't win, it's just sad.
Weetabix: Justin Guarini. That's all I have to say.
Mo Pie: Imagine a world where Justin Guarini won. If all the runners up won! Clay Aiken, who basically did win. Diana DiGuarmo, Bo Bice, Blake Lewis, Adam Lamberr... who am I missing?
Weetabix: The little Mormon kid.
Mo Pie: Oh yeah, Archuleta. So, I don't know what my point was, just that Crystal Bowersox should win. Oh, I think it was The Soup that pointed out that Kara is always saying "I agree with the guys." but she's talking about Ellen and Randy.
Weetabix: I said that! I brought that up!
Mo Pie: Oh, maybe that's where I got it from. And also, Joel McHale, who stole it from you.
Weetabix: We didn't talk about Crystal's singing at all.
Mo Pie: Well, it was fine, I think all of these performances are fine. I'm not excited about any of them, although I do have Crystal's "Me and Bobby McGee" on my iPod and I listened to it today at the gym. It was my cool down song and it ruled. What do you think about her singing?
Weetabix: It was good. It was a B side.
Mo Pie: Yep, there it is. You nailed it. It was a B side.

Aaron Kelly

Weetabix: This Shania/Aaron Kelly relationship is creepy. Also, I never realized this, but Shania's got an annoying speaking voice.
Mo Pie: Yeah she does.
Weetabix: This is a karaoke song, and there's steel guitar. And... Aaron Kelly has the claw! He has the claw!
Mo Pie: Wait, that sounds familiar... who had the claw?
Weetabix: Taylor!
Mo Pie: Oh my god! We haven't seen the Claw since Season 5!
Weetabix: That just made me happy.
Mo Pie: Wait, did we call Aaron “Castrochuleta”? Who was that?
Weetabix: No, that was someone else. Aaron is like Kevin Covais with Kris Allen's voice. He's Covallen.
Mo Pie: Right, Kevin Covais!
Weetabix: Look at this--we're both watching this in HD. Do you see any follicles capable of creating beard hair? I do not.
Mo Pie: No.
Weetabix: Sometimes when the camera catches Ellen at the wrong angle, she looks like Mr. Burns.
Mo Pie: I'm not going to type that! That's mean!
Weetabix: It's like the shadow catches her nose and makes it really long and pointy.
Mo Pie: I love Ellen. I'm an Ellen apologist.
Weetabix: I love her too! I think Ellen herself would say she has a pointy nose.
Mo Pie: Oh little Aaron Kelly and your mom, Kelly Kelly. That's so cute!
Weetabix: That is funny! Still funny. Not as funny as the "Black Family" on Amazing Race, but still funny.
Mo Pie: I still can't see Aaron doing anything but fading into obscurity after this.
Weetabix: He doesn't have the Jonas Brothers cuteness. This is the cutest he will ever be. If he got a nose job, he might have a chance.

Siobhan Magnus

Mo Pie: Poor doomed Siobhan. We have to watch her knowing where this goes. She's so cute! Who would vote her off?
Weetabix: I think we were potentially all bucking against having Siobhan shoved down our throats.
Mo Pie: She's got the pimp spot. She's got a gospel choir.
Weetabix: She's singing this kind of low energy, it's weird.
Mo Pie: She's wearing a strange outfit, but strange in a good way. I kind of like it.
Weetabix: This is probably the fastest Shania Twain song.
Mo Pie: I never realized that she had an Edward Gorey tattoo.
Weetabix: I've said it every week! It's in your kitchen!
Mo Pie: I knew it intellectually, but I had never seen it. Like I didn't see that it was the one that's in my kitchen. Oooh, that wasn't a great note, actually.
Weetabix: I think that was her death knell.
Mo Pie: I still think I like Siobhan's performance more than anyone. Even at the end there, it had some personality, which I liked.
Weetabix: I do like her boots.
Kara: Guess who's back!?”
Mo Pie: Guess who's going back home? Oh, they loved her!
Weetabix: Death knell.
Mo Pie: You're just saying that because hindsight is 20/20.
Weetabix: Yeah, I am.

Final Words

Mo Pie: Of all the contestants, I would have said she was the last person I would predict to go home. My prediction would have been Casey, maybe? Maybe Mike.
Weetabix: Mine would have been Mike.
Mo Pie: Definitely not Siobhan. My final words are that I will miss Siobhan because I think she could have done a good Sinatra song and it's going to be boring with just a bunch of guys and Crystal.
Weetabix: It would have been interesting seeing her incorporate a scream into Sinatra.
Mo Pie: But alas, we will never know.
Weetabix: Alas.

Weetapidol out!

Top 6 Pool Results: BuhBye Siobhan!

2010-04-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

We're a little behind on liveblogging but the cadence of American Idol waits for no man! And it certainly doesn't wait for Siobhan. Already there's a bit of consternation, as apparently a technical snafu on Fox's website listed Aaron's call in number for Siobhan, and her fans are demanding a revote. Until we hear from Ryan Seacrest, the Weetapidol pool scores are as follows (and it's still anyone's game):

Hive Mind 73
Shari 70
Gila 69
Carli 69
TeKay 69
Wendi 67
Kelly S 67
Mopie 66
Weet 65
Jeremy 65
Kim 65
Martha 62
Shmuel 61
Anti Shmuel 54

Can Shari hold onto her lead, especially with Gila, Carli and TeKay close on her heels? It's still anyone's game. What have you done, America? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Top 9 Again: 'Shipping Adam Lamberrr

2010-04-22T17:36:00.000-07:00

Mo Pie: Can I say I'm so excited for Adam Lamberrr?!? I'm so excited!!
Weetabix: I am... not as excited as you.
Mo Pie: Nobody is.
Weetabix: Credits. Let’s play “Where's Taylor?” I actually saw Taylor twice.
Mo Pie: Where's Adam Lamberrr?
Weetabix: They don't have him, because he's too good for the show.

Weetabix: Randy is, again, wearing some kind of cardigan. And Kara is wearing some boots that come over her knees, which is kind of strippery.
Mo Pie: Didn't she strip on last season's finale?
Weetabix: Yes she did. Why is Ryan vamping so heartily?
Mo Pie: I think that's the essence of Ryan.
Weetabix: He's the hardest working man in show business. He's the Kelly Ripa of the short blonde highlighted man set.

Mo Pie: There they are. And Siobhan is wearing... something.
Weetabix: Little Kevin Covais guy looks even more prepubescent. I bet they purposely don't have him standing next to Blonde Ace and Michael Lynche.
Mo Pie: Hee. "Blonde Ace."
Weetabix: I think it's telling that Glee has a Madonna episode and a Lady Gaga episode, while Idol is made by old guys and is pulling out an Elvis episode and a Beatles episode.
Mo Pie: Good point Thank you for the history on Elvis, like we don't know how that is.
Weetabix: Little Tweens, Elvis is important. He's like Adam Lamberrrr, only less fabulous. And less gay.
Mo Pie: Yay, there's Adam!!
Weetabix: He's even better looking than I remember. I think he got some kind of facial work done on his complexion. Like micro-dermabrasion.
Mo Pie: He could facial work on my complexion.
Weetabix: Nice. Way to bring it there. Oh my god, there's the Glee kids! And there's Jane Lynch!
Mo Pie: And there's Adam Lamberrr! He's so tall and Adamy.
Weetabix: He could eat Ryan Seacrest. And Mr. Schu is back there like "hey, I'm important too. and I'm going to do Adam Lamberrr after the show.” Look how he's looking at him!
Mo Pie: No kidding.
Weetabix: When did he get his ear gauged? I think it's kinda gross. Like, wear a big giant diamond. But then again, I am old.
Mo Pie: Yeah, that's almost too big for me... (that's what she said).
Weetabix: That's the thing. A little one is fine, but that's too big.
[Ryan tells Adam his tongue is not nearly as talented as Adam's.]
Mo Pie: Homoerotic subtext between Ryan and Adam!
Weetabix: Ooooh.

Crystal Bowersox, "Saved"

Weetabix: She's great.
Mo Pie: Adam's little pompadour is so cute! Okay, I'll stop in a second. He's so cute!
Weetabix: Please write this down: Mo Pie just squeed.
Mo Pie: Done. Yeah, this should be Lady Gaga/Madonna night.
Weetabix: This is making me hungry for biscuits. Doesn't a biscuit sound really good right now? With butter and honey?
Mo Pie: Well I got a homemade apricot scone warm out of the oven today from my friend Brad. So I'm still thinking about that.
Weetabix: Mmm, I want that. I want Brad's scone.
Mo Pie: Don't we all.
Weetabix: I know I say this every week, but she's really too good for the show.
Mo Pie: The guitar is sparkly. I approve of that. It's the Lamberrr influence.
Weetabix: It seems to have some Chris lights of its own.
Mo Pie: Does Randy have happy faces on his cardigan?
Weetabix: I thought it was mold, at first. He's got some signature there. Frank Morocco. Oh... yeah, that's a happy face.
Mo Pie: Kara's like "I still don't have anything to say, but I'm going to talk for two minutes."
Weetabix: "I'm going to talk about the lyrics to remind everyone I'm a songwriter."
Mo Pie: There's not a lot to say about Crystal. She's perfect and awesome and she should win.
Weetabix: She's not going to. She's going to be a shocking oust.
Mo Pie: Maybe she'll be the Taylor Hicks/Carrie Underwood, and steamroll over everyone.
Weetabix: Except she has talent. I mean, Carrie has talent now, but she seemed very bland on the show. [pause] Crystal's got a lot of macrame shit in her hair.

Andrew Garcia, “Something by Elvis, Who Cares, He Got Eliminated”

Mo Pie: Does Andrew's pocket look like... an ice cream cone?
Weetabix: He's got his wallet chain on Dunkleman.
Mo Pie: That's a new one. Does it make you want to have sex with Dunkleman?
Weetabix: No.
Mo Pie: Goodbye Andrew. I don't even care what you say in this intro because I know you’re gone.
Weetabix: Nice! Adam said he was bored.
Mo Pie: Yeah, Adam, I'm also bored! I just love that Adam is back on this show. It's been about five minutes since last season, but Adam Lamberrr is now a big star and a mentor and everything. He didn't even win! I know that I'm talking about Adam Lamberrr again, but you've got to give this to me. The alternative is to talk about Andrew Garcia.
Weetabix: Point. Pointy. This is boring. He's right, this is boring, even Post-Adam Lamberrr.
Mo Pie: He's not offending me. It's not bad. I just don't really need to see him anymore. Have a delightful career, Andrew.
Weetabix: He's the Nikki McKibbon. He's got a double wallet chain.
Mo Pie: Is that doin’ it for ya?
Weetabix: No. Why does Randy start with "Yo check it out, check it out, check it out, yo.... stomp."
Mo Pie: I thought the judges were going to like it, actually.
Weetabix: Well, Ellen does.
Mo Pie: Oh god, Kara. I hate her. Ok, I made it through two singers, almost, without saying that.
Weetabix: This would be the second singer.
Mo Pie: Oh yeah. Oh my god, that was a great analogy. The boring song in a musical.
Weetabix: What's the boring song in Rent?
Mo Pie: There's lots of boring songs in Rent. It's that snow snow, follow the man, his pockets are full of jam crap. I love that you can see the Glee people and also, I'm very sorry that Jane Lynch and Ellen can't get married because they're married to other people.

Tim Urban, "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You"

Weetabix: The lady in blue is Ryan's mom! They look alike! Don't make your mom work for you, Ryan Seacrest. Don't make her hump America's leg like you do. Oh, I love this song. I always wanted a cute boy to sing me this song!
Mo Pie: I'm warming up to Tim Urban.
Weetabix: Well I like him better than prepubescent boy.
Mo Pie: "I think I pushed him out of his comfort zone." Yeah you did, Adam.
Weetabix: "Turban"? Okay.
Mo Pie: He's got Chris lights!
Weetabix: But they are very dim. He's not well lit at all, in fact.
Mo Pie: The lights are shining on the Glee people.
Weetabix: Mm hmm. In fact, I would even say he is poorly lit there.
Mo Pie: But he sounds pretty and he's playing the guitar.
Weetabix: Maybe they're trying to challenge my supposition that if you close your eyes he wouldn't sound good.
Mo Pie: Split screen! My god, I think they've embraced the Tim.
Weetabix: Oh, I like this little verse. This refrain.
Mo Pie: Oh, he's gonna be a star, this little Tim Urban boy.
Weetabix: He's very cute. Very Kelso from That 70s Show. He's very pretty.
Mo Pie: That was actually pretty good, I think.
Weetabix: Yeah, I liked that a lot. And Randy acts so shocked!
Mo Pie: A tequila analogy! I like Ellen.
Weetabix: Aww, that's how she gets the ladies. Don't flirt, Ellen, he's a boy! You know what I just realized is wrong this year? The judges are all sober.
Mo Pie: There's no happy kitty cake pony unicorn.
Weetabix: I know. It's taken away a lot of my joy. "Zero to hero"? Oh please don't rhyme, Simon. Don't ever do that. [pause] Do you think Simon Cowell is Satan? Sometimes I look at him and he looks Satan-y.
Mo Pie: I don't know how to answer that.

Lee Dewyze, “Another Elvis Song”

Mo Pie: Ah, Adam Lamberrr, that was good advice, that Lee should stop acting like he’s in the recording studio.
Weetabix: Spot on. Pretend there's a guy with bagpipes behind you, Lee!
Mo Pie: There was a lot of homoerotic subtext there, but perhaps I am just projecting, as five minutes ago, I was 'shipping Adam and Tim Urban.
Weetabix: I'm not getting a sense that Lee actually followed that advice.
Mo Pie: He does seem to be actually turning his head from side to side, but that's not actually enough, Lee Dewyze. The guy in the band is emoting more than Lee is.
Weetabix: I'm bored.
Mo Pie: I find Lee kind of innocuous. I just want to watch all of the Glee people behind the judges. There's Finn!
Weetabix: The principal's there!
Mo Pie: Principal Figgins! Jane Lynch is nodding! Jane Lynch agrees with Kara. Mr Schu is wearing a fedora.
Weetabix: Mr. Schu looks like someone just got in trouble. Mr. Schu is a little bored.
Mo Pie: Isn't it crazy that you can watch his little face between Simon and Kara? Jane Lynch is mega into it! Mr. Schu is now gazing longingly at Simon.
Weetabix: The gossip is that Mr. Schu is definitely bi-coastal. So he really might have been looking at Adam longingly.
Mo Pie: Aren’t we all?

Aaron Kelly "Blue Suede Shoes"

Weetabix: I just want Adam to sing it all.
Mo Pie: YES! Oh my god! Can we have that night? Can we have the night where Adam Lamberrr just sings all the songs that exist? Adam has much less hand contact with Aaron Kelly. I'm going to stick with my previous 'ships. This one would just be creepy.
Weetabix: Yep.
Mo Pie: Aaron just needs to hit puberty. I can't assess this.
Weetabix: I'm feeling like I’m watching Star Search.
Mo Pie: Vocally he's not bad but...
Weetabix: But yeah.
Mo Pie: He's really doing as well as he possible could. He's doing a good job, he's just six years old.
Weetabix: It reminds me of an episode of Kids Incorporated.
Mo Pie: Thank you. I think that's the reference I was looking for. I think that's the reference that all of America has been searching for.
Weetabix: Kara is so smarmy. Come on Simon! Pull out the rug!
Mo Pie: All of these people bore me to death. I want Adam and all the people from Glee to start singing, because that would be a show that I want to watch. Hand the microphone to Jane Lynch!

Siobhan, "Suspicious Minds"

Weetabix: That little outro with Siobhan and Adam made me not like Siobhan so much.
Mo Pie: She's looking really smug. I love this song, though.
Weetabix: She's wearing the tights I bought my niece for Christmas. With purple tights underneath that peek through.
Mo Pie: Oh, Siobhan's an Adam fan! That's cute.
Weetabix: It is cute. But I don't think that she wants to be different all that much. I think she wants to be famous.
Mo Pie: Have you totally soured on Siobhan?
Weetabix: I've always been mildly curdled on Siobhan. Even though her last name is Magnus. She's got a great voice, though. I admit. But I feel that I'm being too forced. Also, I think her outfit is made of bandages, ala the Fifth Element.
Mo Pie: I don't like what she's doing with the chorus here.
Weetabix: This is way too friendly. It's actually a very angsty song.
Mo Pie: This episode is depressing me, because of how much I loved Adam last season,.
Weetabix: Why?
Mo Pie: Because I don't like any of these people even a tenth as much. Not even Crystal.
Weetabix: This arrangement is really uneven.
Mo Pie: So is her crazy hair. I love this song. I did not, at all, love that.
Weetabix: It's the arrangement. It's totally the arrangement.
Mo Pie: Which I think Randy is now critiquing. Wow, what's with Siobhan’s bandage shoes?
Weetabix: I know; the whole thing is just a nightmare.
Mo Pie: Kara's like, "now I'm going to tell you other judges what you all really mean by what you just said."
Weetabix: I wish Simon would stop saying "to me," because you're talking. We know that you're giving an opinion. Stop saying "for me..."
Mo Pie: I tell my students not to write that in their papers. "In my opinion..."
Weetabix: Yeah.
Mo Pie: That was actually not one of her best performances.
Weetabix: No, it's making me not like her. She's like cheesy buttered popcorn. And don't talk back, Siobhan.
Mo Pie: I know, I'm turning on Siobhan. TEAM CRYSTAL!
Weetabix: She made voting fingers. She's done. She's dead to me.

Michael Lynche, “In the Ghetto”

Mo Pie: Siobhan's like "This song has ghetto in the title and you are black! So you should pick this one!"
Weetabix: Ha! I love this one.
Mo Pie: I don't know this song.
Weetabix: WHAT?!?!
Mo Pie: I'm not an Elvis girl! I'm a Beatles girl!
Weetabix: You can be more than one kind of girl!
Mo Pie: Well I’m not an Elvis girl. Oh, this is really pretty.
Weetabix: It's a pretty song.
Mo Pie: Oh my god, this is my favorite performance so far. From MICHAEL!? See, he's got all the emotion in his face that Lee did not have. Yeah, this is good! This is definitely the most I've ever liked Michael Lynche.
Weetabix: This is different enough from the original that it's interesting.
Mo Pie: It's appropriate to slow down that song too, because it's kind of an emotional song.
Weetabix: Aw, that was nice, Ellen, to be glad that they saved him.

Katie Stevens, "Baby, What You Want Me To Do?"

Mo Pie: Adam Lamberrr and his pretty blue eyes.
Weetabix: He is pretty. Oh, Katie's shoes are nice.
Mo Pie: Maybe she just has the necklace quota, by herself.
Weetabix: Well Didi's gone. So there's only two chicks left, aside from Katie. And Crystal isn't gonna put up with a necklace quota.
Mo Pie: God bless her. This isn't bad, I'm kinda sorry Katie got voted off.
Weetabix: This isn't terrible. She's just wooden, though. She makes all the right moves, but her performance never meets her eyes. She's like a wind-up doll.
Mo Pie: I can see that. But I still would have sent Aaron Kelly home.
Weetabix: She reminds me of a JonBenet Ramsey grown up. A little kid who used to be in pageants.
Mo Pie: Now you've got me thinking of depressing things.
Weetabix: I'm sorry. Think about puppies and bacon.
Mo Pie: And Adam Lamberrr.
Weetabix: And Adam Lamberrr having a threesome with Tim Urban and Lee Dewyze.
Mo Pie: Yes!
Weetabix: While Mr. Schu watches creepily.
Mo Pie: Oh Kara. You're annoying. Now Katie's doing votey fingers. Votey begging! Even worse than voting fingers.

Casey “Blonde Ace” James, “Lawdy Miss Claudy”

Ryan: Here's what went down with Adam and Casey in Las Vegas!
Weetabix: Aw yeah, what went down?
Mo Pie: I see you've found your 'ship. See, for me, the tension just isn't there. They don't have that spark. Adam’s handshake says, “good bye, Blond Ace, I don't want to have sex with you.”
Weetabix: Ryan just called Casey sexy!
Mo Pie: Maybe that's what's going on there. "Lawdy Miss Claudy"? Is this a song?
Weetabix: It is a song.
Mo Pie: If it weren't, that would be weird. Can you imagine, "I'm going to sing this Elvis song" and then just going up and saying some words.
Weetabix: It doesn't sound like an Elvis song, which is why it's going to be successful. It sounds like a Blond Ace song.
Mo Pie: You're right, that's smart.
Weetabix: I wish I had a nickname like Claudy.
Mo Pie: Does Kara have gyroscope earrings?
Weetabix: I believe so.

Weetabix: So, uh, predictions?
Mo Pie: Hee. I like predictions when we already know who went. I don't think I would have picked Katie to go. I would have said Aaron and Andrew.
Weetabix: I don't know. I can cosign that. But I'm glad that Katie went.
Mo Pie: I will vaguely miss her. Or maybe not. I will definitely miss Adam Lamberrr.

Weetapidol out!

Top 9 (again) Weetapidol Pool Results: Buh Bye Flowers in the Attic and Mr Toad!

2010-04-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

This week, two contestants were aufed, Ms Katie "Flowers In The Attic" Stevens and "Mr Toad" Andrew Garcia, one of whom was taking a bullet for Michael Lynche, who was saved by the judges last week. Oh America, what have you done?

The pool standings still remain volatile every week, with a spread of only 12 points among the real players! It's still anyone's game! The Hive Mind has taken the lead (thanks entirely to the fact that Michael is still in the game), with Shari a close second. I accidentally omitted Martha's name from the pool standings last week, but here she is in all of her glory. We've also added the Anti-Shmuel, based upon Shmuel's comment that he would have done better if he would have reversed the order of his picks. No, not better, Shmuel, but um, not that bad either.

Hive Mind    54
Shari    53
Mopie    51
Wendi    51
Gila    51
Carly    50
TeKay    50
Kim    47
Jeremy    47
Kelly S    47
Weet    45
Martha    43
Shmuel    41
Anti Shmuel    36

Placeholder for Top 9 (again)

2010-04-15T08:18:00.001-07:00

This is where our post will go when we are able to Weetapidol it. Feel free to leave your comments about this week's episodes right away!

Top 9: Phooooooohaaannntthoooo on the Ground

2010-04-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

[The curtain rises, and Wendy and Mo are TOGETHER in the SAME ROOM on the SAME COUCH watching the SAME TELEVISION for the first time in a RATHER LONG TIME. Unfortunately, we've also spent a lot of time on this vacation drinking, playing Rock Band, visiting friends, shopping, socializing, driving around wine country, more drinking, more Rock Band, and not sleeping. So, here goes nothing. ]

Weet: That boy you like looks just like Maurice Gibb.
Mo Pie: I don't know who that is?
Weet: The one Justin Timberlake plays on the Barry Gibb talk show.
Mo Pie: Robin?
Weet: Yes, Robin. One of the Gibbs! He looks Gibbon.
[Randy walks out in his most acapella sweater yet.]
Weet: I'm sorry, but Randy is reading our blog. He is totally reading our blog!
Mo Pie: Hahaha!
Weet: Why did they just show Didi Benami on a big screen?
Mo Pie: It's the In Memoriam segment?

Weet: I actually like Kara's outfit.
Mo Pie: Whereas Ellen is dressed like a farmer on a picnic.
Weet: That is something special right there. She's got long johns peeking out from under her tablecloth.
Mo Pie: I usually like Ellen's look, but... no. Go back to cravats, Ellen.
Weet: Now Ellen's just naming Beatles songs. This is called filler, kids.
Mo Pie: Now Simon is babbling nonsense. This is called filler.
Weet: “Some songs are songs. Some songs have a lot of notes, and that's good. Sometimes there are too many notes in the songs.” And now, commercial. Jesus Christ! I can't believe I'm in charge of the remote and I didn't fast forward any of that.

Aaron Kelly, “The Long and Winding Road”

Mo Pie: Okay, this Yoda thing is charming.
Weet: I sorta love them now.
Mo Pie: Except now this is just going on and on because they have to fill two hours.
[Wendy fast-forwards]
Weet: Aaron's got some kind of peacoat situation.
Mo Pie: He looks like he's in the musical Oliver.
Weet: [Oliver accent] Please sir, may I have some... pubes?
[Both collapse into hysterical laughter.]
Weet: This is really sad, we're not even drinking.
Mo Pie: Well, you've got some water.
Weet: [Different fake accent] It should be noted that tonight we are drinking Municipal... and nothing.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weet: I did not like the vamping there.
Mo Pie: I wasn't listening. Aaron isn't making any impression on me.
Weet: No. Besides, if anything, he doesn't look like Yoda, he looks like Gollum. He's kind of lanky like that.
Mo Pie: But Gollum is hunched over.
Weet: You're right, Andrew Garcia looks like Gollum. Actually, Andrew looks like Mr. Toad.
Mo Pie: Did Randy just say, “you've got a beautiful tongue”?
Weet: It might have been “tone.” But it did sound like “tongue.”
Mo Pie: I really hope it was “tone.”
Weet: I hope it was “tongue”!
[We rewind and verify it was “tone.”]
Weet: And Kara just cut Ellen off.
Mo Pie: She just wants to start talking as soon as possible.
Weet: Simon just called him “sweetie.”
Mo Pie: He was making fun of Kara.
Weet: Oh... I just desperately wanted Simon to not be a prick.
Mo Pie: With as much money as that man has, could someone buy him a shirt?
Weet: I enjoy Simon's nipples, I've told you that a million times. Look, there's one now, that's giving me hope. Leave me something, woman!

Katie Stevens, “Let It Be”

Mo Pie: Why is she dressed like Madonna circa 1986?
Weet: Madonna had better taste than that. And, it’s because they have a quota of necklaces that cannot possibly be met.
Mo Pie: There's no excuse for the earrings, though.
Weet: She should have done the Chanel spin. Oh my god... what if she already did the Chanel spin?
Mo Pie: She was originally wearing a rhinestone beret.
Weet: A tiny top hat cocked to the side, tied with string.
Mo Pie: And then she's like, “Mmm, a little too much?.”
Weet: Hee.
Mo Pie: I guess that was good.
Weet: I was bored.
Mo Pie: Aw, Randy's friendship bracelets!
Weet: How come we don't have friendship bracelets, Mo Pie? I'll make you one and tie it to your wrist while I'm singing a song. And you can't take it off, or I'll die.
Mo Pie: That's hardcore.
Weet: If you cut it off, you cut the strings of my life.
Mo Pie: That really was her best performance, because she usually sucks.
Weet: Well, she sucks.
Mo Pie: Is that Kara singing? JESUS CHRIST.
Weet: And so our prediction begins to unfold.
Mo Pie: Now she's making duck faces while Simon talks. I hate you, Kara! How many seconds was that, before I expressed my hatred?
Weet: Not many.

Andrew Garcia, “Can't Buy Me Love”

Mo Pie: I think I'm officially over him.
Weet: I don't know if I was ever under him.
Mo Pie: What is he doing behind the judges?
Weet: I don't know. Simon's the only one watching it though. The other judges don't care. Which is kind of the opposite of what they want you to believe.
Mo Pie: Maybe they have monitors. Or they're looking at the reflections in their Coke glasses.
Weet: I do see squares on the table. Maybe those are just pieces of paper.
Mo Pie: This song just has four words. That's it.
Weet: There's “everybody tells me so.”
Mo Pie: You’re right. And “no.”
Weet: I'm not a fan of early, early Beatles.
Mo Pie: My favorite song is “Help!” and I think that's early.
Weet: Yes... you know, I take it back, because “Help!” is great, and I also like “Long Day's Night.”
Mo Pie: Mmm.
Weet: He's wearing a button-up polo shirt, and for that I am disdainful.
Mo Pie: He looks like the Big Bopper or one of those guys.
Weet: He looks like Richie Valens and the Big Bopper had a baby that didn't die in the plane crash.
[Laughter]
Weet: Actually it looks like Richie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper's DNA combined in the plane crash, and they made a baby.
[More laughter]
Weet: I'm going to hell.

Michael Lynche, “Eleanor Rigby”

Mo Pie: I don't think I actually know this song.
Weet: It's Eleanor Rigby! Yes you do. It's early Beatles.
Mo Pie: It doesn't sound familiar. I mean, the title does.
Weet: Well he's changed it a lot...
Mo Pie: Oh, the chorus! I recognize it.
Weet: He has got the biggest wallet chain I have ever seen. It's so long, and the girth of it.. you could pull a tractor with that chain. You know what this means. I don't have to say it!
Mo Pie: You don’t have to say it.
Weet: But LOOK AT IT. He is the Incredible Hulk.
Mo Pie: This is really good. I bet there's no way he'll get voted off for this!
[Laughter]
Weet: I know. It's the best performance so far, of the show. Easily. It's the most memorable, mostly because of the big giant chain....
Mo Pie: Yeah, he's doomed, if this basically got him voted off.
Weet: Yeah.
Mo Pie: Blah blah blah.
Weet: Now they're doing cross-promoting with Glee. They should now pan over to Jane Lynch.

Crystal Bowersox, “Come Together”

Weet: Crystal is getting Ryan Raps! She's getting so pimped.
[They show the Crystal Bowersox sign in her town, and we squee.]
Mo Pie: Oh, that's so cute!
Weet: Oh, I didn't realize she had a baby.
Mo Pie: Didn't you see the audition shows? She's doing this for her baby.
Weet: No, I went in cold. Now I really think she's too good for this show!
Mo Pie: I do enjoy Crystal Bowersox.
Weet: It's got a digeridoo! This might be a first ever for Idiol.
Mo Pie: I would subtract the digeridoo from this.
Weet: See, if I were on American Idol. I would use it all the time. I would use every crazy instrument I could find.
Mo Pie: Bring out the... triangle!
Weet: No, they have triangles. The accordion! The concertina! Mandolins! A steel fucking guitar.
Mo Pie: A pan flute! A zither!
Weet: A Jew's harp. Somebody should be spitting into a jug!
Mo Pie: Taylor Hicks, in the corner of the stage, with a jug.
Weet: It's true.
Mo Pie: She's fabulous.
Weet: Once again, she is too good for this show. Crystal is so getting set up to be the shocker elimination in Top 5.
Mo Pie: Then the show is going to get really boring.
Weet: Oh, Randy agreed with you on the digeridoo!
Mo Pie: Of course Ellen loves digeridoos. Lesbians love digeridoos. Hahahahhahaa! Lesbians love digeridoos!
Weet: We're really tired.
[Ian walks out and sees the digieridoo player.]
Ian: “He looks like Pants on the Ground Man!”
[Ian presents a digieridoo version of “Pants on the Ground” that defies description.]
Weet: [to Mo Pie] You will never be able to translate that to weetapidol.blogspot.com.

Tim Urban, “All My Lovin”

Mo Pie: I like this song!
Weet: I do like this song.
Mo Pie: He's Efronning it up.
Weet: It's the only way he'll win. If you close your eyes, though, he hasn’t got a great voice,
Mo Pie: I don't think anyone's ever thought he has a good voice.
Ian: He doesn't have great looks either. So what does he have?
Weet: He's got the looks that 13 year old girls like.
Ian: Like Justin Bieber.
Weet: He's got the seeds that grow up into people like Josh Groban.
Mo Pie: But Josh Groban can actually sing.
Weet: This is true.
Mo Pie: I love how Randy's just going to judge Tim in relation to himself.
Weet: I wonder what Ellen's thinking right now.
Ian: She's writing her quip.
Weet: No, she's already written that.
Ian: What's that on Kara's hand? Is that a ring? It's as big as an iPhone.
Mo Pie: She's going to drink poison out of that ring if she doesn't get to talk.
Weet: She's going to poison Ellen is what she's going to do. How do you think she gave Paula the hallucinogenics?

Casey James, “Jealous Guy”

Ian: Who's that guy who looks like Peter Frampton?
Weet: He looks like Robin Gibb.
Ian: He looks like Andy Gibb.
Weet: He looks Gibbous.
Ian: That's Frampton Comes Alive right there.
Mo Pie: I've never even heard of this song. It is a bold choice.
Weet: So it could be Lennon or McCartney, not just Lennon/McCartney.
Ian: Well usually they just wrote their own songs anyway, but put both of their names on it. And Lennon wrote this when he was in the Beatles, when he was in India.
[Weet and Ian discuss the Beatles music history, and Mo Pie is lost. She gazes at Casey’s hair for the duration.]
Mo Pie: I enjoyed that song.
Ian: He picked a song that wasn't that well known, and he made it...
Weet: ..his own! He looks kind of like Blonde Jesus.
Ian: Is Ellen dressed like a farmer?
Mo Pie: [delighted] That's exactly what I said! I can scroll back and show you!
Ian: She should have a little stalk of wheat hanging out of the corner of her mouth.

Siobhan Magnus, “Across the Universe”

Ian: I can't listen to this. It's my favorite Beatles song.
[Ian flees the room.]
Weet: He actually fled. I never believe it when you say things like that happen. Ooh, she's got a not good lip gloss situation.
Mo Pie: I love her little outfit.
Weet: But look at the lipgloss. Wow. There's some stuff going on there. I bet that's Dior's Addict lip lacquer. Her outfit's cute.
Mo Pie: I like... the word... “lacquer.”
Weet: We're very tired.
Mo Pie: This is pretty. Ian didn't have to run away. Wait, maybe he did.
Weet: This is not.. happymaking.
Mo Pie: Yeah, I guess that note wasn't so good.
Weet: Her lips are just freaking me out with the closeup.
Mo Pie: It's the perils of HD.
Weet: Nobody is an “artist” like Siobhan!?!? Randy, what?
Mo Pie: Um, what about Crystal, Randy?!
Weet: Fuck you, fucker!
Mo Pie: I like Siobhan, but bleh.
Weet: Oh, she's crying.
Mo Pie: Oh, it's very cute. That was a very sweet moment.
Weet: And she's dating the Dr. Pepper dude?
Mo Pie: She's my pick for shock elimination this week.
Weet: You mean this week, not the Michael Lynche week?
Mo Pie: Yeah, the week where they lose two people and cannot save anyone. I hope not, though.

Lee DeWyze, “Hey Jude”

Mo Pie: They're trying to replicate the Kradam magic with this Andrew/Lee thing.
Weet: Desperately.
Mo Pie: I mean it's cute, but it's no Kradam.
Weet: Oh, not “Hey Jude”! I would have to do “Band on the Run” for Lennon/McCartney week.
Mo Pie: Yeah, I'm not getting the pimp spot vibe from this. This is a weird emotional note here.
Weet: He looks like he's either drunk or about to cry.
Mo Pie: He's smirking weirdly.
Weet: Wait, there's bagpipes. Inexplicable bagpipes! They're taking my suggestion to heart! We've had a digeridoo and now bagpipes!
Mo Pie: I think we might actually just be so tired that we're hallucinating.
Weet: The Chris Lights are in a tartan pattern.
Mo Pie: Why did he have to have the hat? The giant fuzzy hat?
Weet: What the fuck?
Mo Pie: Nice parade joke from Ellen! I enjoy Ellen's quips.
Weet: Do you note that when she pulls back, it's like a body language of power. It's like she's saying, “Suck on that, Dioguardi.”
Mo Pie: Ha!
Weet: Maybe that's why Lee was making those weird faces. He knew that a motherfucking bagpipe was going to walk down the stairs.
Mo Pie: I love how Lee's just embracing his power to get strange musicians.
Weet: I love that his answer to “why a bagpipe?” was, “Why not?”
Mo Pie: Yeah, good on ya, Lee! Wait, “good on ya”? Is that what they say in Scotland?
Weet: I have no idea.

Weet: So, predictions?
[Hysterical laughter.]
Weet: I predict that next week there will be someone with a concertina and a steel drum.
Mo Pie: And an abacus! Wait, that's not an instrument. I might mean a xylophone.
Weet: Also I would enjoy it if it opened up with somebody blowing a conch horn. [Makes conch sound.]
Mo Pie: We're very tired.

[During the recaps, we keep rewinding to catch glimpses of the obviously fake stand-ins for the judges. “They have the wrong head shape! They have the wrong hair!” We laugh hysterically.]

[Weetapidol out!]

Weetapidol This Week!

2010-04-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

So, Wendy is on her way to my house as we speak, so we're hoping to be able to Weetapidol live and in person, just like the old days... hence the delay this week.

As for the pool results, we hear Mike was eliminated and then saved. We'll do the same thing we did with Matt Giraud, which is split the difference. For instance, since Mike was supposed to go 9th, if he actually goes 7th, we will calculate him as going 8th. If he ends up in 5th place, we'll put him as leaving 7th. And so on.

Since the Hive Mind had Mike going all the way to #1, however, we can't help feeling this is bad news for some of you!

Betting on Idol: Tim and Andrew are this year's Kris Allen

2010-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

We all know that the Hive Mind is predicting Michael Lynche will be top dawg in May, but Vegas has a slightly different spin. If you're planning on betting, you can clean up by putting your money where your mouth is if you're betting Michael or Lee, but Vegas agrees that Siobhan is in it for the long haul. Last year, Vegas was predicting Adam with Kris sitting in the "Not Likely" category. If I were Crystal, I wouldn't be relaxing quite yet (despite the fact that Simon accused her of doing it already). From the folks at Bookmaker.com

Aaron 16%
Andrew 15%
Casey 18%
Crystal 55%
Katie 11%
Lee 14%
Michael 14%
Paige 11%
Tim 13%
Siobhan 40%

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 10

2010-04-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

Whoa, Didi's aufing shows just how volatile and ruthless the Weetapidol pool scoring is and just how quickly the tables can turn! Many of us thought that Didi would go the distance (and the Hive Mind thought she would last another four weeks)! Only Kim correctly predicted she would walk last night, giving her a huge surge forward and taking the lead. But can she hold first place with Shari, Carly, Kelly and the Hive Mind close on her tail? It's still anyone's game. What have you done, America?!?!

Kim    33
Shari    32
Carly    31
Kelly S    31
Hive Mind    31
Gila    29
Gila    29
Mopie    28
Wendi    28
Jeremy    28
TeKay    27
Weet    24
Shmuel    24
Martha    20

Also, the behind the scenes intro to this week's performance night has inspired us to give you a look behind the scenes at Weetapidol! Here's our scoring spreadsheet, updated weekly, so you can watch the drama unfold live! Now is the part where Ryan makes Simon and Ellen kiss, the most uncomfortable onscreen kiss since Jodie Foster and Richard Gere made out in Sommersby.

This Would Be Better If They Were On Roller Skates: Top 10 Week

2010-04-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Mo Pie: I was going to try to find the "THIS..." part, but then stopped at this weird scene of Ryan making Simon kiss Ellen.
Weetabix: I haven't gotten there yet. I have them in a line, like at a wedding march. And they all look like they're praying, or at least the blonde one does.
Mo Pie: That was kind of an exciting shot, Ryan coming out from backstage!
Weetabix: It was! The studio looks smaller than it does when they're panning around.
Mo Pie: Opening credits game… spot Taylor!
Weetabix: He's there! He actually is there.
Mo Pie: Way off to the side.
Weetabix: He's the one that looks old.

Weetabix: Where does Simon find all of the partially see-through shirts? That's what I want to know.
Mo Pie: From my Dad, I think.
Weetabix: Ha! I've never seen your dad in a partially see through shirt.
Mo Pie: He also has partially see-through underwear.
Weetabix: Is that where you get your aversion to tighty-whities?
Mo Pie: Yes.
Weetabix: Randy has "California Dreamin'" on the back of his shirt.
Mo Pie: This is going to be a lot of filler. This is two hours and ten people. We should do some judicious fast forwarding.
Weetabix: Are there going to be montages? I'm sick of the montages. And by the way, what's Randy wearing? He's got a tiny little elephant appliquéd on his breast.
Mo Pie: Oh, Randy.
Weetabix: Ryan has a watch on and it looks giant, but I think it's a normal sized watch, and it just looks giant on Ryan.
Mo Pie: I heard Usher is good this week.
Weetabix: I don't care much about Usher, just so you know. I hear he's super short, so I'd be interested to see what he looks like next to Ryan.
Mo Pie: I would like to see Tom Cruise next to Ryan.
Weetabix: I would like to see them all in the chair Ian sat in. That's my favorite metric of how tall people are.
Mo Pie: Yes! (Go to the one-minute mark here to see Ian. Seriously. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKEPb3G4kz8)
Weetabix: Do you think Usher's wearing lifts?
Mo Pie: So this is a montage of "I love Usher." I don't think I could name a single Usher song.
Weetabix: That “yeah” song. where people go “yeah!"
Mo Pie: Yeah.
Weetabix: He looks like what Emmanuel Lewis should have looked like, if he had been a regular boy.
Mo Pie: Hee! Maybe he is Emmanuel Lewis. I've never seen them in the same place at the same time.
Weetabix: I wonder if Emmanuel Lewis is on Facebook.

Siobhan Magnus, Through The Fire"

Weetabix: Siobhan, with a bird in her hair.
Mo Pie: I love her giant glasses. I love them.
Weetabix: Look at her, she's dressed too cool. She's not as nerdy as she's fronting.
Mo Pie: [gasps] Is she a HIPSTER?
Weetabix: I think she's a hipster. She's the Generation Y version of what a hipster is. She's got amazing legs. She's kind of got an amazing body, I kind of like that she doesn't flaunt it.
Mo Pie: What advice did Usher give her?
Weetabix: Dress better.
Mo Pie: I wish she would do her nerdy-chic-hipster look for the stage.
Weetabix: I know. I think she's doing her Cinderella transition too early.
Mo Pie: Oh I know this song!
Weetabix: Really? I love Chaka Khan. But not enough that I know what this song is.
Mo Pie: I listen to a lot of lite radio. Don't judge me!
Weetabix: If it wasn't Siobhan, they'd nail her for those off notes.
Mo Pie: That shirt is cool. But not with sneakers.
Weetabix: I think it's a whole dress, she's got something on over it.
Mo Pie: Yeah this is not wowing me. And the dress from a distance looks like a Jesus loincloth.
Weetabix: She looks like she's in Xanadu. Maybe she's Kiera's sister, one of the nine muses of Greek mythology! If she had roller skates on, I would like this more.
Mo Pie: Randy's like, "that sucked but I love you." Oh my god, I like Randy's acapella sweater this week!
Weetabix: It's got a whale.
Mo Pie: I thought it was an elephant.
Weetabix: Well it is some fat symbolic animal. I think I would actually wear Randy's sweater if it didn't have CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' in big appliqué letters on the back.
Mo Pie: Kara's like, "you sucked but it was okay!" Siobhan's totally the chosen one.
Weetabix: Mm hmm.
Mo Pie: Kara looks like she's in Xanadu. That flowy, one-shoulder thing?
Weetabix: Go Simon! And Siobhan is wearing a Bumpit this week. I can actually see through it.
Mo Pie: Yay Bumpits! I don't care what Ryan has to say, at all. Stay in your box, Ryan.
Weetabix: This is called "we have time to fill."
Mo Pie: I love how all the other judges are nodding at Ellen.
Weetabix: Kara looks pissed off that Ellen got to talk. She quickly had to jump in.
Mo Pie: I don't think Kara likes it whenever anyone else talks, or sings. If it were up to Kara she would sing, be the judge, and be the host.
Weetabix: And she would write all the songs.
Mo Pie: "No Boundaries" week! AGAIN!

Casey James, “Hold On, I’m Comin’”

Mo Pie: Oh it's Casey!
Weetabix: Your boyfriend.
Mo Pie: Provisional. What is the theme this week by the way?
Weetabix: Uh... songs by black people? Well, at least Usher isn't just complimenting Casey on his wardrobe.
Mo Pie: You mean his unbuttoned shirt? And his little embroidered jeans? Oh he's got a red guitar! And it matches his shirt! Oh that is so cute! Sorry, I squeaked a little bit.
Weetabix: This is good.
Mo Pie: YEAH! I don't know this song at all but..
Weetabix: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS SONG?
Mo Pie: I don't know! It's not on lite radio? This is a song for him. He looks a tiny bit nervous to me, but he sounds great.
Weetabix: I think he sounds fantastic. It's really well suited for his voice. Now I think he's feeling more relaxed now.
Mo Pie: I think so too. He knows it's going well. Oh he's doing a little guitar solo! You're so cute, Casey!
Weetabix: Your boyfriend.
Mo Pie: It doesn't have a lot of lyrics in it. But that was good. Even Usher approves.
Weetabix: Kara looks actually pissed!
Mo Pie: Kara does have that "stop talking so I can talk" look on her face. Kara is actually tapping her fingers! Ha! “Show me everything you got.” That's her code for "take off your pants"
Weetabix: You're projecting.
Mo Pie: Simon's leading up to something... He’s going to tell Casey he was good.
[Simon says Casey was good.]
Mo Pie:I could tell the little gleam in Simon's eye that he was going to do a psyche. Wow, Kara looks pissed again that Simon's talking. Jeez, Kara. Kara is annoying. Is that like fifteen minutes that I waited before I said that?
Weetabix: At least.
Mo Pie: I am growing as a person. Ryan's so wee!
Weetabix: He's miniature.
Mo Pie: He's like a dollhouse person.

Mike Lynche, "Ready for Love"

Mo Pie: This is also a song I don't know. I don't think.
Weetabix: Usher looks pissed in Mike's montage.
Mo Pie: Usher just gave some good advice about projecting to the back of the room. Now he's gazing at the camera.
Weetabix: Oh my god that's the CREEPIEST THING EVER!
Mo Pie: Then he put his sunglasses back on.
Weetabix: I like India Arie but I don't think I know this song either. I would have liked him to do "I'm a Queen."
Mo Pie: Hee. This is pretty. And I think he's wearing a wallet chain, by the way.
Weetabix: I like him for many reasons. That is not the only reason I like him.
[Silence]
Mo Pie: Are you just quiet because you're immersed in the performance?
Weetabix: I'm just enjoying it. It's not that "wow" of a performance, but I'm lulled. Maybe it's the swaying hands. Do you think they pay people to sway their hands like that?
Mo Pie: I think they have a SWAY HANDS sign, like an APPLAUSE sign.
Weetabix: I don't think it was all that, dawg, but I enjoyed it. And I don't know the song, either.
Mo Pie: I think Randy just called it a "beautiful ballot."
Weetabix: I like Mike's smile. I think that's it.
Mo Pie: I'm enjoying Ellen's judgery, I have to say.
Weetabix: So I think that your hate of Kara is starting to become infectious, because now I just want to smack her. And I think I liked her insecurity last year, when Paula was there.
Mo Pie: She's moved up, she's the Alpha female.
Weetabix: Well she thinks she is. But really... I mean, come on. In a vote-off? Kara vs. Ellen? America has chosen.
Mo Pie: Very true. And Simon liked it.
Weetabix: Well, he had a great performance, but it was subdued kudos. Like, we know you're cannon fodder, we know you're not the chosen, but we’re not gonna stomp on you either.

Didi Benami, “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

Weetabix: Who is this girl again?
Mo Pie: Who? Didi? She kind of looks like Anna Kendrick.
Weetabix: Hmmm... no. You're wrong.
Mo Pie: Oh, she's crying in front of Usher. Why is she weeping in front of Usher? This is embarrassing. Usher is taking American Idol very seriously.
Weetabix: Well, it's better than the Jamie Foxx episode.
Mo Pie: You're just comparing them because they're both black people. It’s racist joke week!
Weetabix: No, they both have big ears though. Actually I think they both have about the same amount of talent.
Mo Pie: Oh you bite your tongue. Usher has way more talent than Jamie Foxx even though I can't name a single song he sings.
Weetabix: Actually, have you seen Ray? Jamie Foxx is great in Ray.
Mo Pie: No, I haven't yet, even though we own it. Is Didi wearing like a torchsong dress?
Weetabix: Seems like.
Mo Pie: She's got kind of buff arms.
Weetabix: Her voice is still awful though.
Mo Pie: This is not the right song for her at all. This is just the wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong song, dawg. I like her voice and the song, but not together at all.
Weetabix: Randy thinks it wasn't the song.
Mo Pie: Well I think it was the song.
Weetabix: She's very pretty though.
Mo Pie: Kara or Didi?
Weetabix: Didi.
Mo Pie: Well, Kara is pretty too. I enjoy her eyeshadow. It matches her outfit.
Weetabix: You're never supposed to match your eyeshadow to your outfit!
Mo Pie: Well, I enjoyed it. I will match my eyeshadow to my outfit and then walk around with my designer knockoff purse and then I'll say, "Wendy bought me this purse and told me to wear this eyeshadow and said it looked good on me!"
Weetabix: Why do you hate me?
Mo Pie: They're playing Kara off. Ha! Good!
Weetabix: Yay!
Mo Pie: One of Didi's friends is wearing a shirt that says "Didi is my American Idol" but when he raised his arms to clap, it just said "Eric Idol" and I was like, what does Monty Python have to do with this?

Tim Urban, "Sweet Love"

Weetabix: I'm paused with Ryan with his hands between his legs, hiding his erection from Tim Urban.
Mo Pie: That's disturbing. And... go. And Ryan just said, "It's going down." I blame you for my dirty mind.
Weetabix: Hee.
Mo Pie: Tim kinda does look like Zac Efron.
Weetabix: He does. And also, the guy from Virgin Suicides.
Mo Pie: As you say.
Weetabix: "Sweet Love!" You'll know this because it's on lite radio!
Mo Pie: Yeah I do!
Weetabix: Is Usher touching an imaginary woman's boobs?
Mo Pie: Yes. This would be awkward if Tim were gay.
Weetabix: It would. Is Usher gay?
Mo Pie: Not that I know of. Jamie Foxx is, though.
Weetabix: Really?
Mo Pie: He's on the downlow.
Weetabix: With Eddie Murphy?
Mo Pie: Yes. Tim's got these kind of glazed, weird eyes.
Weetabix: He's scared or something. I'm a little embarrassed right now for him.
Mo Pie: He'll be fine. Little Michael J. Fox will be fine.
Weetabix: This reminds me of that unlicensed music that plays over, like, Lifetime movies.
Mo Pie: This is just because you hate lite radio.
Weetabix: It is. It is true.
Mo Pie: This is... neutral.
Weetabix: It is neutral.
Mo Pie: [Sings doo doo doo]
Weetabix: This kind of blows chunks. Sorry, Tim Urban. You're really good looking. This is a bad song choice though, for you.
Mo Pie: He's been way worse, though.
Weetabix: Okay, but that's not really a compliment. That's a Kara Dioguardi comment.
Mo Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: By the way, "at least you were in tune though, mostly" is also not constructive criticism.
Mo Pie: My phone keeps vibrating. Why is it vibrating?
Weetabix: Put it between your legs!
Mo Pie: Ellen makes me laugh. Kara makes me stabby.
Weetabix: I think Simon wants to punch Kara. That's why he's putting his fist on the back of her chair.
Mo Pie: Now you're projecting.
Weetabix: Maybe.
Mo Pie: It's true that Tim and his little dimples are going to get through no matter what.
Weetabix: Yeah.
Mo Pie: Simon is funny. And Tim has a cool tie.
Weetabix: He does. I have never had bad things to say about his overall look.
Mo Pie: It's true. and he's a good sport. Like I don't think he's faking his amusement. I don't think he's calculated.
Weetabix: I don't think so either. I think he's earnest.

Andrew Garcia, “Forever”

Weetabix: Oh stop it, Ryan.
Mo Pie: Fillllllllllller.
Weetabix: Andrew?
Mo Pie: That's Andrew.
Weetabix: That's his name?
Mo Pie: Yeah! Andrew!
Weetabix: Ok, I have forgotten.
Mo Pie: Andrew is even shorter than Usher. From the relative heights of Andrew and Usher and Andrew and Ryan Seacrest, we should be able to determine the heights of Usher and Ryan Seacrest!
Weetabix: Oh I LOVE THIS SONG!
Mo Pie: Yeah, I do too. Isn't this the song with the wedding video?
Weetabix: Yes.
Mo Pie: That's a smart choice, because everyone's seen this song on YouTube.
Weetabix: He's making it his own, y'all.
Mo Pie: He IS!
Weetabix: This is lovely!!!
Mo Pie: What a brilliant song choice, really. This is fun!
Weetabix: I think this is a Chris Brown song? Aw, I like this!
Mo Pie: Me too! Yay Andrew! I'm so glad he's doing well! I'm swaying.
Weetabix: I'm just enjoying it and trying to figure out who Andrew reminds me of.
Mo Pie: I want to go watch Jim and Pam's wedding again!
Weetabix: That had charm and charisma!
Mo Pie: That's right! Andrew IS back! The outfit IS mad dope! I think they're just happy to say something good about Andrew.
Kara: Nothing makes me happier to say that this was miles beyond last week.
Mo Pie: Nothing makes Kara happier than to be on camera talking, actually.
Weetabix: That was pertinent constructive criticism from Simon.
Mo Pie: You're right, and also, Ryan is about the same height as Andrew, which means that he's shorter than Usher. Wait, Mrs. Garcia is wearing a zebra vest. Oh my god, this is embarrassing, I can't watch them bringing Andrew's little fashion-backwards mother up on the stage! I'm not watching. I'm looking at something else. I'm looking at the wall.

Katie Stevens, "Chain of Fools"

Mo Pie: Who's next?
Weetabix: Edie?
Mo Pie: There’s nobody named Edie.
Weetabix: I'm hoping it’s Edie from Grey Gardenns
Mo Pie: It's Katie!
Weetabix: Flowers in the Attic! And with Usher she was totally playing the "I’ve stalked you before" card.
Mo Pie: Is that a card?
Weetabix: She doesn't have many cards.
Mo Pie: This is another song Fantasia has done. Didn't Katie fail on a Fantasia song last week?
Weetabix: Those are pretty big footsteps to fill.
Mo Pie: Aretha and Fantasia? Yes.
Weetabix: This is gonna end in tears. She's dressed cute, though!
Mo Pie: She’s got a bumpit too though!
Weetabix: Yes, but also adorable shoes and cute leggings. And earrings that could be worn as bracelets.
Mo Pie: And too many accessories. She should do the Coco Chanel thing.
Weetabix: I feel like she's got a really good voice, but her stage presence is lacking.
Mo Pie: It feels contrived. Like, "I'm gonna be R&B now."
Weetabix: She's a tiny girl, but that jumpsuit is just not a good look for her. Or many people.
Mo Pie: Yeah, her shoes are awesome, though. Now that I've seen them.
Weetabix: She's also about two accessories away from acceptability.
Mo Pie: I think the song is too big for her.
Weetabix: It is.
Mo Pie: Randy loved it. Okay, Randy.
Weetabix: I'm sorry, but especially not after Andrew, this was not the best vocal performance of the night.
Mo Pie: Or Casey!
Weetabix: Oh blah blah blah.
Mo Pie: "Snookie-pouf"! Awesome. She's kind of glaring at Ellen, though. Don't glare, Katie.
Weetabix: They are setting her up for a fail! This is not where she belongs.
Mo Pie: Thank you Simon, voice of reason yet again.
Weetabix: He is really the only one who's not crazy.
Mo Pie: What is this show going to be without him?
Weetabix: Just Kara Dioguardi, sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weetabix: Star Search... good comparison.
Mo Pie: I don't think Katie's an artist. She's not an artist at all. She's a singer.
Weetabix: This is the talent part of her pageant performance.
Mo Pie: I guess she could win me over. I like Diana DiGarmo now. But I don't like Katie’s glaring.
Weetabix: She's been locked up in an attic with her twin siblings and her brother. You can't blame her.

Lee Dewyze, “Treat Her Like A Lady”

Mo Pie: Who is this Lee?
Weetabix: BJ Novak!
Mo Pie: So you keep saying. I don't believe you.
Weetabix: I don't even know who the Cornelious Brothers are!
Mo Pie: I don't know either.
Weetabix: Usher's creepy.
Mo Pie: Usher has very straight across shaved hair! Like he has Betty Page bangs, only the shaved head version! Poor little insecure Lee. Aw, Usher's so supportive. Look at him!
Weetabix: Mmm.
Mo Pie: Can I just say that I think Lee Dewyze has a Danny Gokey vibe going on?
Weetabix: Yeah, that's what we said like three weeks ago.
Mo Pie: Well, I'm going to agree with...with us. He's got a Danny Gokey thing going on. Maybe he'll come in third. He continues to make no impression on me at all. That was good, but I know that I'm going to forget it in like ten minutes.
Weetabix: I fully agree. He's actually got a good voice. Much better than Tim. But no one remembers.
Mo Pie: I think Randy might just be on ecstasy.
Weetabix: Awwww Simon.
Mo Pie: Oh my god! Simon telling him his life just changed! That was sweet. That might be the nicest thing Simon has ever said to anyone.
Weetabix: Look Lee is crying! Oh no, not votey fingers.
Mo Pie: I would be crying too! Of course, I will still forget him in ten minutes but for now, I'm having a moment.

Crystal, "Midnight Train To Georgia."

Weetabix: Crystal has promised us we'll be surprised and amazed this week.
Mo Pie: She sure did!
[They announce her song choice]
Both: I love this song!!!
Mo Pie: I think Usher’s kind of feeling Crystal, if you know what I mean.
Weetabix: Yes, feeling her with his penis. He's leading with his penis, if you'll notice.
Mo Pie: I love this already. She hasn't even sung anything.
Weetabix: I love her outfit. It's actually all open in the back.
Mo Pie: I already know I'm going to download this,
Weetabix: She hasn't even gotten to the first stanza yet! You shoot your wad so fast.
Mo Pie: I'm very popular.
[Both laugh]
Mo Pie: I don't actually know what that means.
Weetabix: She's so cute! Look at her! I always feel sad that someone like Crystal has to be on this show to become famous. She's really too good to be on this show.
Mo Pie: Oh she's SO GOOD. I love her. I love this. The judges are going to blow their wads over this.
Weetabix: Kara will look stingy and unimpressed.
Mo Pie: Is Jane Lynch there?!?? With her girlfriend?
Weetabix: It's a Glee tie-in!
Mo Pie: SUE SYLVESTER! And yes, Crystal was great. I agree with thee judges.
Weetabix: Interesting critique about the backing vocals. Now that he says it, he's absolutely right.
Mo Pie: That's true. But I think she's consistently great no matter what.
Weetabix: Did he just point out she's wearing heels?
Mo Pie: Simon is being so sweet tonight.
Weetabix: Maybe he's having his period. This is how Simon has his period.
Mo Pie: He's not been needlessly nice. He's just being nice when people deserve it.
Weetabix: He's being accurate.

Aaron Kelly, “Ain’t No Sunshine”

Mo Pie: I think Ryan likes being dominated by Simon.
Weetabix: Uh, yeah.
Mo Pie: didn't Kris Allen do "Ain’t No Sunshine" last season and it was really good?
Weetabix: That was very good feedback. The "iknowIKnowIKNOW" feedback.
Mo Pie: Ian just walked in and is doing a little dance. An Usher dance.
Weetabix: I'm sorry I'm missing that.
Mo Pie: Look at his little fauxhawk! Little Aaron Kelly! I think I may have underestimated this kid.
Weetabix: I think he's got more legs than Tim Urban.
Mo Pie: If his voice was in Tim Urban's body, he would be unstoppable. But instead, it's like Kris Allen's voice inside of Kevin Covais's body. Ooh, that note wasn't great though. I don't think his voice was as great as Kris Allen's.
Weetabix: I think you're being flagrant with the use of the word "great.”
Mo Pie: That's true. Can you replace it with some word that's not that word?
Weetabix: No.
Mo Pie: Replace it with splendid, magnificient, splendiforous, magical. Let's just call it prepubescent. That's great, Ellen. No, David Archuleta. That's who he looks like.
Weetabix: He's got beady eyes. He looks like something, not Archuleta. Something.
Mo Pie: He's Hermie the dentist.
Weetabix: THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!

Predictions

Mo Pie: Predictions!
Weetabix: I hate these predictions! Because then we immediately go online and I find out I’m wrong?
Mo Pie: Maybe flowers in the attic girl? Maybe that forgettable guy? No, he was good.
Weetabix: I'm going to go with a shocker. Maybe Michael Lynche.
Mo Pie: Maybe Didi?
Weetabix: Oh right! I forgot her! Yes, Didi!
Mo Pie: Should I look!?
Weetabix: Yes! I'm cringing!
Mo Pie: Bottom three: Katie, Didi and... they don't know!
Weetabix: It's still going on!
Mo Pie: Well text me when you find out! I have to go to my writing group.
Weetabix: I will!
Mo Pie: And Weetapidol… out!

Weetapidol pool results - Top 11 Week

2010-03-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

With the ousting of Paige, we can see a few breaking away from the group! Mopie takes the lead with her elaborate and confusing handicapping strategy!

Mopie    24
Shari    23
Gila    22
Kim    21
Weet    20
Carly    20
Kelly S    20
Shmuel    20
Wendi    19
Jeremy    18
TeKay    18

Top 11: The Night of a Thousand Necklaces

2010-03-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

Mo Pie: I'm paused after Ryan says "This…"
Weetabix: Would the next words he's about to say be "…is American Idol"?
Mo Pie: Yes it would be! Oh, that worked well.
Weetabix: It did. That should always be our queue up point.

Mo Pie: There's Kara already flirting with Simon. It's been like three seconds since the show started.
Weetabix: I like her boots though.
Mo Pie: They are good boots. I noticed them as well. Dunkleman is here tonight.
Weetabix: Dunkleman! He's PINK. DUNKLEMAN IS PINK!
Mo Pie: Wow, your HDTV must be H-er than my HDTV because it looks white to me.
Weetabix: Maybe it means I need a new HDTV.
Mo Pie: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not pink.
Weetabix: Ellen seems to be wearing um, gauze around her neck?
Mo Pie: it's not a jaunty cravat like last week.
Weetabix: Kara yet again takes an opportunity to touch Simon.
Mo Pie: And she says "He likes to give me a hard time" and then looks at him. Like, he's not going to say "That's what she said" back. It's family hour!
Weetabix: Simon’s telling Ryan to stay where he is, but he's really transference. He means to say it to Kara.
Mo Pie: Why do they have both Randy and Simon explaining about the tour? Why?
Weetabix: America has a short attention span?
Mo Pie: Someone start singing soon, please, good fucking lord. I like how everyone is smiling except for that one dude at the end.

Mo Pie: Is Crystal Bowersox just going to slap Miley Cyrus?
Weetabix: Is Miley Cyrus like twelve?
Mo Pie: Fourteen?
Weetabix: I think she's fifteen.
Mo Pie: They just said that she was seventeen, but in interviews, she sounds like she's fifteen. See, that was just some fifteen-year-old babble. You'd swear Dakota Fanning was like ten years older than her, the way she talks.
Weetabix: She's got a giant jaw. She's all jaw, I never noticed that before.
Mo Pie: [after Miley's "pitchy" tirade] Ok, I have to give Miley points for that. “Randy only says pitchy when he doesn't have anything else to say.”

Lee DeWyze (aka BJ Novak), "The Letter"

Mo Pie: BJ Novak has made absolutely no impression on me so far.
Weetabix: Who was that guy last year that I had the whole total hard on for?
Mo Pie: Oh god, was it the guy with the wallet chain?
Weetabix: It's always the guy with the wallet chain.
Mo Pie: Was it Danny Gokey? I've blocked that out of my brain.
Weetabix: It was Danny. Yes.
Mo Pie: See and he starts singing and I'm asleep. I guess he's kind of Danny Gokey-esque.
Weetabix: Yes, he's got that sort of bland appeal that America likes, kind of a tater tot casserole appeal.
Mo Pie: He's got like the Idolettes in the background and a brass band. He's got a lot going on right now. He seems like he should be a Muppet or something. Like he's got a hand up his back.
Weetabix: He could really be made from blue flannel, yes.
Mo Pie: Yes, I guess it's ok. I don't know. I didn’t have any hardcore feelings about that performance.
Weetabix: I was meh. Except for the Gokey.
Mo Pie: People are cheering. He did not make it sound old timey stale, Randy's right, so that's true.
Weetabix: That was sweet "My favorite pen is back." That was sweet. She could totally get in my pants.
Mo Pie: [creepy whisper]
Weetabix: WHAT?
Mo Pie: I was just sighing, except the sound “Kara DioGuardi” came out. Simon said it was corny.
Weetabix: Once again, I reiterate: Meh.
Mo Pie: I will have completely forgotten about this by the end.
Weetabix: How much wine have you had?
Mo Pie: About half a glass. I'll need some more soon.

Paige Miles, "Against All Odds"

Weetabix: What's her name again? She has some kind of pen on her necklace?
Mo Pie: That's Paige Miles.
Weetabix: I like Paige, but I don't approve of her Joan-on-Mad-Men pen-on-a-necklace.
Mo Pie: Is that a pen or a USB jump drive?
Weetabix: You know it might be a very blinged out jump drive! By the way, when did leggings come back?
Mo Pie: They've been back for a while.
Weetabix: But leggings-as-pants.... I mean, you have to remember, I'm from Green Bay.
Mo Pie: I think it's Lindsay Lohan's fault.
Weetabix: Miley seemed to have forgotten to put on pants that morning she was mentoring people.
Mo Pie: Paige is singing Phil Collins!?!
Weetabix: Yes, but thankfully not “Sussudio.” Or else I would have to stick something in my ear.
Mo Pie: Ha!
Weetabix: I'm sorry, this is horrible. I love Paige Miles, but this is awful. If this were karaoke right now, we would stand in unison and walk out.
Mo Pie: Yeah.
Weetabix: This is a bad song choice. This is a really hard song to sing. Didn't the blind guy sing this one time? Scott Crawford?
Mo Pie: Scott McIntyre. Ooh, ouch, that note.
Weetabix: This is not good. And I really like Paige a lot. I'm very sad right now.
[Page attempts to hit another note]
Weetabix: Oh god, no. Honey! Did they force her to do this? Was there a gun held to the head of her mother?
Mo Pie: Oh my god, this is a trainwreck.
Weetabix: I think she should have gone with “Sussudio.”
Mo Pie: Poor Paige.
Weetabix: She's very pretty. I'll fill in for Paula. "You're very pretty! I like the top you're wearing! I like your USB drive necklace!"
Mo Pie: Oh my god, if the best Ellen can say is "you didn't fall down..." And Ellen can't even do it, she’s passing.
Weetabix: This was really really bad. She's so much better than that.
Mo Pie: Poor Paige.
Weetabix: Wow. Yeah. Poor Paige.
Mo Pie: I don't know how she's not weeping right now.
Weetabix: Maybe she just doesn't care... maybe Kara's right. You know what she should have done? “Party in the USA,” y'all.
Mo Pie: That would've been kinda genius, actually. Isn't she the same age as Miley?
Weetabix: I think she's older. I think Paige can drink.
Mo Pie: Is she gonna get the sympathy backlash vote, or was it really that bad?
Weetabix: Seriously, it was like karaoke. Not even Mint-level karaoke.
Mo Pie: Ryan's trying to drum up the sympathy vote. Godspeed, Ryan.

Tim Urban, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love”

Mo Pie: Oh my god, I love this song!
Weetabix: Meh.
Mo Pie: Although there's no way he could do this song as well as Fantasia did it. And also, Tim can't really sing. Even Miley thinks he can't sing. “Oh hug me, cute boy!”
[Mo makes a disparaging comment about Miley's reputation.]
Mo Pie: You don't have to type that. It was kind of mean.
Weetabix: I don't think Miley reads Weetapidol.
Mo Pie: He's so sparkly. He's got this Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future vibe. He should be singing “Johnny B Goode.”
Weetabix: Kind of! Or Crispin Glover in Back to the Future! He's trying desperately to have some kind of charm.
Mo Pie: I think the little girls love him.
Weetabix: But...
Mo Pie: Yeah, but he's like on a budget cruise ship right now.
Weetabix: That's pretty good, actually. We've been ON that cruise ship.
Mo Pie: We have been, that's true.
Weetabix: And I seem to remember that you demanded to go watch that performance and I demanded to stay in the bar and drink.
Mo Pie: In hindsight, you did make the right choice there. I agree with Randy, Tim did not show off his voice at all. He was boring.
Weetabix: Did Ellen get a haircut? Her ears seem unusually large right now.
Mo Pie: I love her, I love everything about her.
Weetabix: Maybe Portia's just been pulling them. Wow, Kara just said that "little girls will love that.” You and Kara are mental twins!
Mo Pie: You bite your tongue! I mean, I agree with her, but… you bite your tongue!
Weetabix: HOW CLOSE IS SHE TO SIMON!?
Mo Pie: She's like "At least I can get my eye in this shot. My eye will be in this shot." She's the judge version of how desperate Tim is when he goes to the audience. She sees herself in him. That was very profound of me, I feel.
Weetabix: That was very drunky of you, I feel.

Aaron Kelly, "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"

Weetabix: He's the one with the family with 11 kids, right?
Mo Pie: That was Tim, I think. Aaron's the one dressed like a... farmer... hipster?
Weetabix: He looks like a Lost Boy.
Mo Pie: He has a crush on Miley... he's singing a Miley Cyrus song? No, Aerosmith. He's singing the Armageddon song!
Weetabix: Now he's got like... dandelions? Asteroids? In the background.
Mo Pie: Asteroids, for Armageddon!
Weetabix: Everyone in the world is enamored of this song....
Mo Pie: This song is awful, and I cannot be the only one who hates it.
Weetabix: If you say that to 99% of our generation, they can't believe you say it's awful.
Mo Pie: This is because you're in Green Bay.
Weetabix: Probably. They play this on 10-cent buffalo wings night. Is Aaron trying to be a country crossover like Miley is?
Mo Pie: Maybe, but he REALLY should have done a Miley Cyrus song. It would have been way more interesting.
Weetabix: This isn't just your hatred of Aerosmith power ballads talking?
Mo Pie: Partially.
Weetabix: But you have to understand that Aerosmith's "Angel" is the best power ballad ever. Just putting that out there. In Marry, Fuck or Kill, I'm going to fuck "Angel" every single time and basically kill every other song of theirs.
Mo Pie: I will marry “Janie’s Got a Gun.”
Weetabix: I love how Randy just slammed the previous two contestants.
Mo Pie: Because they were bad!
Weetabix: I don't think Tim Urban was that bad!
Mo Pie: I love Zac Efron as much as the next person, but Tim was bad.
Weetabix: Did Kara write this? Because she's complimenting the song. They just played music to get Kara to stop talking.
Mo Pie: They played Kara off!
Weetabix: They did!
Mo Pie: Oh my god, Ryan just made a David Archuleta joke! I feel like he should be contributing to our blog.

Crystal Bowersox, "Me and Bobby McGee”

Mo Pie: I'm so excited that she's doing this song! This is your song!
Weetabix: Which song?
Mo Pie: “Me and Bobby McGee”!
Weetabix: Oh, nice!
Mo Pie: Crystal Bowersox is desperately trying not to spit in Miley Cyrus's face. It's so ridiculous to hear her say to Miley, "I'm not sure if I can do it?"
Weetabix: Oh my god, she's pandering to Miley Cyrus! Oh, she's lovely.
Mo Pie: Oh my god, she's fantastic.
Weetabix: She was born to sing this song. It's probably not her first time. It's kind of like when you're like "aw yeah, I'm in my wheelhouse now"
Mo Pie: She's squarely in her wheelhouse.
Weetabix: She's just got so much confidence.
Mo Pie: It's like she's from a totally different show. Like maybe a show of people who are already famous singers. That show.
Weetabix: Yeah.
Mo Pie: That was cool. That was my first download of the season. I'm going to download that.
Weetabix: Absolutely. It was REALLY good.
Mo Pie: I still love when you sing it too.
Weetabix: You can love other versions! It's ok!
Mo Pie: I want your MP3 too. If it were on iTunes, I would download the fuck out of it. Ellen's advice to give more energy back to the audience is probably, actually, really good.
Weetabix: That is really good advice, from a relating to people in the public point of view, which these kids don't have a lot of experience in. Oooh, Crystal's like "Yeah, back off, bitch" to Kara. And now I have to download the Pink version, on Simon's recommendation.
Mo Pie: They're showing Crystal's feet? Is Tarantino directing this?
Weetabix: Well, Ryan does like feet.
Mo Pie: She was terrific.
[Ian walks in and Mo brings him up to speed.]
Mo Pie [to Weetabix]: Tonight’s show so far has been like "sucks sucks sucks sucks awesome." That's my recap of tonight's show. Our liveblog could have been really short.

Mike Lynch, "When a Man Loves a Woman"

Weetabix: Yes! I love Michael Lynche. Even though he's wearing that hat.
Mo Pie: He's going to speak to the luvvahs out there! Oh my god.
Weetabix: You can only do that if you have really big testicles.
Mo Pie: Wearing the hat or singing the song?
Weetabix: Singing the song... big guys love hats.
Mo Pie: This sounds nice...
Weetabix: I could do with a little less unbuttoning.
Mo Pie: Now THAT is a pink pocket square. I could totally hear him on the "Delilah" radio show, talking to the luvvahs.
Weetabix: That's true.
Ian: He has to bring it at this part.
Weetabix: Tell Ian to wait! It will be broughten.
Mo Pie: I passed it on.
Weetabix: Now what has he got around his neck? A dog tag and a pen?
Mo Pie: Did I mention Crystal's leaf? I liked her leaf.
Weetabix: No you did not.
Mo Pie: I just assume they're all USB flash drives now. And I want one in the shape of a leaf.
Weetabix: I love the soft and gentle flourish at the end. I think Michael might actually be a superhero.
Mo Pie: How so?
Weetabix: I think this is his secret identity: American Idol contestant. I don't think anyone would ever suspect. Plus, I would love to see him in latex.
Mo Pie: Um….
Weetabix: “Sorry you had to come after Crystal, y'all.”
Mo Pie: I actually hate this song. And Michael Bolton.
Weetabix: And wasn't Percy Sledge a wife beater?
Ian: Percy Sledge! Not Michael Bolton!
Weetabix: You've been chastised from both ends now.
Mo Pie: That's what she said!

Andrew Garcia, “I Heard It Through the Grapevine”

Mo Pie: It actually looks like Ryan's in a spaceship, not a pulpit. A spaceshippy pulpit.
Weetabix: His pocket square is definitely a white Dunkleman.
Mo Pie: Oh, this guy. I forgot about this guy last week. I really hope he's good this week, because he really really needs to be good.
Weetabix: I don't know that he has it in him.
Mo Pie: To do it with the guitar down or do a good performance?
Weetabix: Either. Plus it's this song.
Mo Pie: I can't get over the California Raisins doing it.
Weetabix: Exactly.
Mo Pie: I had this tape, “The California Raisins Sing The Greatest Hits.” It's how I learned the words to “La Bamba” in Spanish. This is like the worst possible choice of songs.
[Unintelligible conversation between Mo and Ian.]
Weetabix: I love how you're totally not paying attention to this song and having side conversations with your husband.
Mo Pie: I don't really have anything more to say about this, other than “California Raisins” and “bad song choice.” Oh, and he's dressed like an Australian crocodile hunter.
Weetabix: Miley looks a little embarrassed.
Mo Pie: Because he looks like Crocodile Dundee.
Weetabix: Ellen and Randy didn't like it. "You suck but you're nice"… how bad must your life suck if Kara feels bad for you?
Mo Pie: "you're chasing the moment! you're confused!" well no wonder, he gets nothing but pressure and mixed messages. "Stop chasing the moment! “You need a MOMENT!"
Weetabix: they tell him to do different things all the time!
Mo Pie: Poor Andrew. I don't think it was that bad, but it wasn't that good. Simon says he sucked the soul out of the song.
Weetabix: No, Simon, animated clay raisins sucked the soul out of that song.
Mo Pie: Hahaha! Animated clay raisins!
Weetabix: I do enjoy Mr. Garcia's "cheap rack at Lenscrafters" glasses, however
Mo Pie: Oh my god we have FIVE MORE OF THESE PEOPLE TO GO? Who the hell are they??
Weetabix: I KNOW! I don’t even recall… a bunch of whiteys at this point. I'm more excited about the return of Glee.
Mo Pie: Hee. Aren't we all?

Katie Stevens, “Big Girls Don’t Cry”

Weetabix: Oh no, not Fergie
Mo Pie: Wow, Katie picked a non-old-timey song!
Weetabix: She sings out of her nose! I never realized that before, but she's totally singing out of her nose.
Mo Pie: And is Katie wearing crazy shoulder pads? And also a USB necklace?
Weetabix: Yes, she is
Mo Pie: Fergie was AWESOME in Nine. She was the best thing about that movie by a mile.
Weetabix: I haven't seen it yet. I just don't like her as a ballad singer.
Mo Pie: Also, Katie is doing something contemporary and that's awesome.
Weetabix: She has shiny hair
Mo Pie: And seriously, every single contestant is wearing at least three necklaces. I think that's a thing now.
Weetabix: The show has stock in Claire's Jewelry Boutique
Mo Pie: Katie is not hitting these notes, in the traditional sense of "hitting" the "notes."
Weetabix: I don't like Katie's voice. I would like to voice that right now… if you close your eyes, you want to punch someone.
Mo Pie: The suspenders and peace sign shirt are adding to my desire to punch someone. She looks like Donnie Wahlberg, circa 1990.
Weetabix: Seriously, I wouldn't even get excited about this at karaoke. I wouldn't leave, but I would give my usual sarcastic three claps and then continue to look through the book.
Mo Pie: Sarcastic claps? That’s cold, man!
Weetabix: You know me. I'm a bitch.
Mo Pie: If Katie went home, it would not bother me.
Weetabix: I probably would be "who's that?" during the reunion show. America, get rid of her before the tour!!!!
Mo Pie: I liked the song choice though.
Weetabix: Yeah, it was ok, dawg.
Mo Pie: Miley is making wiggle fingers at her. DON'T LET MILEY EAT YOUR SOUL, KATIE!
Weetabix: I endeavor to use the term "chalk and cheese" at least once this week.
Mo Pie: That's so Britishy! I endeavor to say, " 'ello Guv'nah!" in the same time period.
Weetabix: Vote fingers! HATE! This is why I would have sarcastic clapping, because she's a votey fingers girl.

Casey, “The Power of Love”

Weetabix: Gordon Ramsey is in the audience, which is weird.
Mo Pie: That is... bizzaaahh, as Heidi Klum would say. Oh Casey, you should do an ad for conditioner.
Weetabix: Here's your boyfriend
Mo Pie: He has nice shoulders and hair. That's as far as I'll go.
Casey: "I'm a big fan of your dad's."
Mo Pie: HAHAHA!
Weetabix: that was AWESOME
Mo Pie: I would vote for him RIGHT NOW ON THAT BASIS ALONE.
Weetabix: I kind of like him more now too, despite his Vidal Sassoon locks.
Mo Pie: Miley making stupid cat eye fingers. Miley, YOU KNOW NOTHING. And speaking of Back to the Future, here’s “The Power of Love”…
Weetabix: This is as though it's been filtered through a hair band or something. He's good though.
Mo Pie: I like his lightning bolt guitar strap, but this song is, again, kind of old-timey. Can we just hear Crystal sing "Me and Bobby McGee" again?
Weetabix: The Captain just said he sounds like Huey Lewis.
Mo Pie: that's a bad sign. That = karaoke.
Weetabix: I think he is, as they say on the panel, making it his own.
Mo Pie: He has not won me over with this song. I'm unwilling to commit to him as my boyfriend. We're just hooking up at this point.
Weetabix: He's got very pretty eyes though.
Mo Pie: I agree with Ellen and Randy that the song choice was boring, but it was so NOT the best vocal of the night. Hello, CRYSTAL BOWERSOX?
Weetabix: blah blah blah Kara… they are just jealous of Crystal. Simon isn't drinking the Kool Aid…
Mo Pie: Simon says it was identical to Huey Lewis. Yep. Team Simon!

Didi Benami, “You’re No Good”

Mo Pie: Nice song choice, Didi! And again with the three necklaces.
Weetabix: Maybe they've been given a thousand necklaces and have to wear every single one of them on camera.
Mo Pie: Hahaha! Is that hilarious or am I tispy?
Weetabix: One of those two things, definitely.
Mo Pie: Since I just typed "tispy" we might have our answer…
Weetabix: Perhaps.
Mo Pie: Didi looks great, although she seems to be wearing an Olympic gold medal
Weetabix: I'm bored by Didi's stage presence, but I do find her voice interesting. She does look awesome.
Mo Pie: I completely cosign that… her voice is definitely interesting and I hope she sticks around. She's one of the very few people that I actually care about hearing more from.
Weetabix: There's a level of desperation to her performance that I sense.
Mo Pie: Yes. YES. It’s like you're voicing the feelings of my inmost soul.
Weetabix: I don't think we have to worry about her leaving this week.
Mo Pie: No, not with people like Paige and those other randos. There’s Miley chomping on gum and looking bored…again. And the Olympic medal is a necklace! I thought it was a belt for a while.
Weetabix: I enjoy Didi's boots.
Mo Pie: Wow, Simon is being mean to her! I didn't think it was bad.
Weetabix: He is, but I'm ok with it. His job is to be mean.
Mo Pie: There were so many more worse performances tonight, seriously.
Weetabix: True story.
Mo Pie: Maybe they're trying to get the sympathy vote.

Siobhan MAGNUS, “Superstition”

Weetabix: Woo!
Mo Pie: Siobhan and her mohawk mullet! “Superstition”! a good song!
Weetabix: Siobhan is wearing acid washed jeans. And I do like this song! A lot!
Mo Pie: Siobhan is such a little nerd, it's so cute.
Weetabix: I hope she screams again this week. I feel like I'm being manipulated with her nerddom, though
Mo Pie: She's totally the girl who takes off her glasses and puts on some lipgloss and gets the guy at the end of "She's All That.”
Weetabix: The nerdiness is like it's part of the narrative
Mo Pie: Yeah, well, there's not a whole lot else going on this season, so I'll get on board.
Weetabix: This is absolutely true. We're grabbing at crumbs, though. COMPELLING STORY? No? Oh, then, this fakey fake out with the nerd glasses will be cool.
Mo Pie: At least she's comfortable onstage, and doesn't suck as a singer. Sadly, this season, that makes her top three material. I also do hate the hair very much.
Weetabix: She's got an Edward Gorey tattoo, I think the nerd thing is just a put on. The hair is something else.
Mo Pie: Whatever that hair's narrative is, I want nothing to do with it.
Weetabix: Oooh, a scream! I like the scream! Girls don't do unpretty screams very often. I approve.
Mo Pie: True, it's an unpretty scream. Good call.

Predictions and Results

Mo Pie: Okay, I have nothing more to say about Siobhan, I like her! Predictions?
Weetabix: Sadly, Paige or one of the Wonder Bread boys… or maybe Mr. Garcia.
Mo Pie: Yeah, I mean, probably Paige. Or Mr. Garcia, that's my runner up choice. Should we go look?
Weetabix: Do the honors.
Mo Pie: Katie, Tim. and Paige in the bottom…
Weetabix: and?!?!
Mo Pie: Paige is gone.
Weetabix: Yeah, well, not surprised.
Mo Pie: Nope. I think I had her at 11th, so I'm doing well in the pool!
Weetabix: Bummer because I liked her, but so goes the fickle hand of America.
Mo Pie: Well, also, the fickle hand of she really sucked.
Weetabix: I'll update the pool scores in the morning!
Mo Pie: Excellent! I'll upload this entry tonight if I can.
Weetabix: Ok, I'm going to bed!
Mo Pie: Have a good trip! Love you!
Weetabix: Love you too!
Mo Pie: Weetapidol out!

Weetapidol Pool Results: Top 12

2010-03-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Whoa, Lacey Brown, what a shocker. Except really not, because you guys had her number all along. We're currently at a 6 place tie for 1st.

Mopie 12
Shari 12
Wendi 12
Kim 12
Jeremy 12
Weet 12
Weetapidol Hive Mind 12
Gila 11
Carly 11
TeKay 11
Kelly S 10
Shmuel 9
Martha (Late Entry, no points this week)

Also, because this is oddly predictive as the season goes on, here's everyone's scores, averaged out and put in order. We call this the Weetapidol Hive Mind. If this thing continues to be accurate, Aaron Kelly should start thinking about packing his bags next Tuesday night.

12. Lacey Brown
11. Aaron Kelly
10. Paige Mills
9. Tim Urban
8. Katie Stevens
7. Andrew Garcia
6. Didi Benami
5. Lee Dewyze
4. Casey James
3. Siobhan Magnus
2. Crystal Bowersox
1. Michael Lynche

Good luck to everyone in the pool!

Weetapidol Weetapidol: The Top 12

2010-03-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

Weet: hi! are you home and settled? (I know you're home)
Mo Pie: just about… I have no phone, by the way. my cell phone is gone, my laptop is dead…
god knows what will happen next
Weet: we type, and your roof will cave in, and your tv will explode, etc etc
Mo Pie: actually my garbage disposal just broke! so I think that's three… so I should be okay!

And So It Begins…

Mo Pie: Ryan in a corridor of orange-lit Idols
Weet: so, you cheated on this performance show… I am going in cold, let it be known
Mo Pie: I did cheat
Weet: cheater cheaty pants
Mo Pie: how do you know I cheated? HOW DID YOU KNOW? I meant to hide my cheating.
Weet: you mentioned it on Twitter or something
Mo Pie: aw hell.
Weet: the significant other ALWAYS KNOWS
Mo Pie: I had to watch, I had to mine data in order to make my pool picks!
Weet: I did not mine data. I'm hoping that makes me fresher and more accurate! And not full of fail, as I have been traditionally
Mo Pie: probably... I think I overthought it.
Weet: I tend to pick as I think they SHOULD be, which is always wrong, because last year, I put Kris Allen off, like, 10th
Mo Pie: poor Kris. I don't think anyone saw that one coming last year.
Weet: No.
Mo Pie: I think I may have gone the other way and really overrated Tim. he feels like the "person who will be around for what seems like fucking forever" this season, so watch, he gets eliminated tonight.
Weet: Ellen always looks like she just wandered in from the back lot by accident
Mo Pie: Shmuel is the one who keeps coming in last. I'm hoping this'll be his year!
Weet: screw Shmuel! BIX FOR THE WIN!

Weet: who is the girl with the Doc Martens?
Mo Pie: um... Lady McRando
Weet: she's going for the quirky vote, against weird hair vintage girl? I think it was Siobhan Magnus, but it went by very fast.
Mo Pie: that might be Siobhan Magnus who I have decided to root for as her name is cool.
Weet: they are talking blah blah Rolling Stones. Mo Pie: I feel so meh about the Rolling Stones. I care almost not at all about them.
Weet: so: a bit of a Weetabix secret: I actually don't like the Stones very much, but more than I like The Who
Mo Pie: I feel equally meh about The Who.
Weet: I loathe The Who… I make Esteban fast forward through all CSI intros because I hate those songs so much
Mo Pie: classic rock isn't really my thing I guess.. though I do love the Doors. I aDoor them!

Michael Lynche, “Miss You”

Weet: I fear I may have overrated Michael, but I like him… Reuben Lite
Mo Pie: I probably underrated him, I think I put him like eighth or something. I just am not feeling the fanbase for him, despite his adorable wife and new baby.
Weet: his adorable wife is adorable! Oh, his baby is adorable too! is that why Kara was annoyingly crying last week? because she's not his adorable mother of his adorable child?
Mo Pie: you're trying to bait me into talking about Kara. this will not work!
Weet: Ok, I really do like Michael… he's only started singing the first two lines and I'm swayed. I love his falsetto.
Mo Pie: I like him too! Ian, who knows these songs somewhat, said "this song has no personality, but he's giving it personality."
Weet: I am always such a sucker for the linebacker types.
Mo Pie: hee. I want to make a Blind Side joke right here, but that seems wrong.
Weet: it does seem wrong.
Mo Pie: especially since I almost made an Obama joke about his half-white baby.
Weet: DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed by the Weetapidolers do not reflect those of Weetapidol as a whole
Mo Pie: I think race based jokes should be saved for the Top 11 show. they seem wrong in the Top 12.
Weet: yes, but this Top 12? Is the whitey whitiest Top 12 ever
Mo Pie: especially since Paige is toast, I think.
Weet: yes, I'm worried about her. I like her a lot. and of course, you have inside information BECAUSE YOU CHEATED.
Mo Pie: I do not have inside information about Paige! I don't think she's going home this week. I just don't see her sticking around… I'm starting to think Elton John had a point.
Weet: what was his point?
Mo Pie: he was the one who said the show was racist when J. Hud got eliminated. which was ridiculous. Weet: Well, it was racist. That week, only the three black girls were in the bottom.
Mo Pie: that's not racist though. it's because they all had similar styles and split the vote! and J. Hud was shouty and crazy-eyed when she was on the show.
Weet: Simon thinks Mike was corny! Ok, yeah, whatever, but I still liked it. woo, a bit of sexual tension between Simon and Ryan!
Mo Pie: gay jokes are in Top 10 week. TOO SOON.
Weet: I'm sorry, I clearly lost the pre-printed agenda!!! Which week is the short Ryan week?
Mo Pie: that's every week.

Didi Benami, “Play With Fire”

Mo Pie: paused on Ryan Raps And Is Short… Didi is sitting on a stool, but Ryan is standing up.
Weet: I don't know what is going on with Didi Benami's hair, I'm not sure I cosign yet
Mo Pie: it is floaty and shiny! I enjoy it.
Weet: it's lopsided.
Mo Pie: I vote yes.
Weet: She was a cute child, but this is what I think I don't like about her. She's always in a rictus grin, even when she's talking. It's unnatural.
Mo Pie: see, and I think she's way more natural than that Lacey person. who is fakey fake fake
Weet: I think we're debating degrees of fakey fake. I do enjoy her boots though.
Mo Pie: I kind of like the tone of her voice... did we already talk about her being Sara Bareilles-like? and you said she was like Maria Something?
Weet: Maria Taylor, but you're right about Sara Bareilles. I do not care for this performance.
Mo Pie: I find this performance hard to judge because I don't know the song, but she hit a bum note in there and is making a strange face.
Weet: imagine it screeched by Mick Jaggar. and it doesn't really matter, it can't stand on its own legs
Mo Pie: true
Weet: Please note this: I do not object to Randy's sweater tonight! in fact, I kind of want it.
Mo Pie: well it would look way better on you!
Weet: aw, you're schmoopie
Mo Pie: on him it looks kind of like he's a host at a themed restaurant
Weet: poor Randy. Always attributed to a variety of uniforms
Mo Pie: maybe Randy just has the aura of being in the customer service industry.
Weet: while being active in various group extracurriculars, such as acappella groups
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weet: Kara is wearing some kind of aboriginal breast plate situation
Mo Pie: that is a situation. I heartily agree that is a situation.

Casey James, “It’s All Over Now”

Weet: your boyfriend! He's such a goober. I'm sorry, I don't see it
Mo Pie: well, provisional. provisional boyfriend.
Weet: . Also, his mom was totally a bar fly… or an Ozzy Osbourne groupie
Mo Pie: he's not even in the same arena as Daughtry or Lambert. he needs to sing a good song for that. but one good performance and I could be pushed over the edge.
Mo Pie: will this be the one!?!?!
Mo Pie: (spoiler: no)
Weet: I like his shirt.
Mo Pie: he has fluffy hair also.
Weet: so, his thing is that he's kind of country? or kountry?
Mo Pie: well, kountry is very popular!
Weet: we haven't had a country boy yet… DEMOGRAPHIC THEORY
Mo Pie: apparently 7 out of 8 of the Idols have been southern, did you know that?
Weet: whoa, that's crazy
Mo Pie: I threw my demographic theory out the window after two years of white guy/white guy finales.
Weet: which means we're due for a non-white non-boy (COME ON PAIGE)
Mo Pie: I love Ellen's lesbian joke! I thought they would make her pretend not to be a lesbian.
Weet: uh, not even Simon Cowell has that much power
Mo Pie: hahaha
Weet: everyone knows and accepts that Ellen likes the ladies… I love that she's on AI, actually.
Mo Pie: no but I mean "it's a family show!"... they could have been uptight about it. But I am glad too. I find her delightful.
Weet: well, she was just tongue in cheek (vagina)(sorry) about it and said "people like me....blondes"
Mo Pie: [silence]
Weet: are you busily voting for Casey right now?
Mo Pie: I'm voting for Casey with my vagina
Weet: I had no idea that your vagina could dial or text

Lacey Brown, “Ruby Tuesday”

Mo Pie: oh no, Lacey is southern…from Texas.
Weet: we should probably worry
Mo Pie: AAAH. I am worried.
Weet: SHE JUST PICKED HER NOSE ON THE VIDEO FLASHBACK
did you see that?
Mo Pie: thank god, no I did not.
Weet: they pulled her hand away quickly but the kid was going to pick her nose
how many tattoos do you think Lacey has?
Mo Pie: ugh, she annoys me. she has a tattoo of a hummingbird on her ankle, I bet. or some STUPID CRAP LIKE THAT.
Weet: and a tramp stamp… a dolphin.
Mo Pie: obvs, a dolphin!
Weet: two dolphins forming a yin-yang symbol!
Mo Pie: my sister has a yin-yang tramp stamp, so I try not to judge.
Weet: but is Caroline's tramp stamp made of DOLPHINS? therein lies the difference.
Mo Pie: it is not.
Weet: I really don't like Lacey’s voice. this is totally about the potential for the package deal… she's got a look, but totally no talent
Mo Pie: I just think she's so calculating... she comes across so, so contrived.
Weet: she's got an AWFUL voice
Mo Pie: and her voice is annoying. I don't know, she's similar enough to Didi that I feel like I'm being inconsistent in liking Didi okay but hating Lacey. and yet there it is.
Weet: Didi actually has a better voice, more control…. that end bit? yucky
Mo Pie: "you kinda held it together," says Randy.
Weet: "you didn't shit the bed, so ok dawg"
Mo Pie: hee.
Weet: "sleepy"... good word, Ellen!I think Kara likes being third because she can see how the panel is swaying
Mo Pie: SIMON! YES! Simon says she's like an actress and everything seems "very thought through"!! I AGREE, SIMON.
Weet: nicely done

Andrew Garcia, “Gimme Shelter”

Weet: Oh, I love Andy's father and mother! She's actually wearing leopard! That just happened!
Mo Pie: I do enjoy the leopard!
Weet: His father has tattoos on his knuckles! Oh awesome, his wife's hair is GINORMOUS
Mo Pie: I like Andrew... when I was placing him in the pool it was tough. I can see him going really soon, but I can also see him having a Moment and lasting more!
Weet: I want him to persevere! But I feel that America will see the neck tattoo and say "Uh uh."
Mo Pie: I know this song? I think it's on Rock Band?
Weet: It's old. Everyone knows this song.
Mo Pie: does he have a nose ring? so do like half the girls I think.
Weet: Yes, he has a stud
Mo Pie: it is the Year of the Nose Ring! and I don't often know some of these classic songs.
Weet: you had a sheltered childhood
Mo Pie: we listened to Julio Iglesias and Dolly Parton. and Dutch things. and that performance was boring, I feel.
Weet: yeah, I want to like him but meh. When Randy tells you that he loves you, he's about to piss in your Cheerios.
Mo Pie: I want to like him too! I've been liking him. I love how Ellen's like, fuck it, I liked it!
Weet: yes, she's awesome. She's like "Hey, it doesn't matter what we say, so screw y'all, I'm going for fan favorite!"
Mo Pie: now Kara's making... a good.... point? I have to go find a cold compress and recline on my fainting couch. I have to say I agree with Kara on this, that connecting with the song is good.
Weet: Wait, "you weren't in Vietnam so you shouldn't have chosen that"? What if it's the gang wars, Kara? WHAT ABOUT THAT?
Mo Pie: hahah
Weet: Kara makes a face at the end of her critiques that is like something you'd see on SNL, paired with a "wah waaaa" noise… it's a Kristin Wiig face
Mo Pie: Kara IS a "wah waaaa" noise.

Katie Stevens, “Wild Horses”

Weet: Katie is bluh bluh
Mo Pie: I like Katie's little summery dress
Weet: yes, that is cute. Have the Stones even had a hit since Katie has been alive?
Mo Pie: you say Rolling Stones and my mind just goes blank. I just am emptied of the ability to care about the question.
Weet: Well, that's because the Rolling Stones is irrelevant to our generation… but to old people, they're like U2. (buh bye all Weetapidol readers over the age of 45)
Mo Pie: U2! I now understand. WHERE IS U2 NIGHT??
Weet: Hopefully it's during Gay Joke week
Mo Pie: hahaha. well played.

Mo Pie: oh, Katie is singing. and is lit angelically. are they trying to save her?
Weet: she really is… maybe she died
Weet: also, Wild Horses is a great song, but I actually like the Sundays cover better than the original… I'm serious, go download the Sundays' version of this song, it's awesome.
Mo Pie: I will. this version isn't doing anything for me.
Weet: I think this song was also featured in a Buffy episode, early on
but again, not the Stones' version
Mo Pie: Ian has a disturbing breadth of knowledge about songs featured on Buffy, so I will find out.
Weet: Katie’s angelically lit because she's sucking the life out of the room. Also, her tongue is weirdly colored, like maybe she's getting sick, or needs a tongue scraper when she brushes. Good oral hygiene is underrated on American Idol.
Mo Pie: I don't want to think that hard about her tongue. or Randy's friendship beads, which he's broken out again. I will, however, spend some time thinking about Ellen's cravat.
Weet: is it really a cravat? It seems long. Isn't there a length requirement for cravat-age?
Mo Pie: I have no idea... I guess I just didn't know what else to call it!
Weet: Speaking of oral hygiene, have you ever noticed that Kara has got pretty giant bunny teeth?
Mo Pie: bunny teeth! that oddly makes me like her more.

Tim Urban, “Under My Thumb”

Mo Pie: this kid looks like one of my students, except I can't figure out which one
Weet: wait, he bitches because he had ten kids in his family but it's five sisters and one shower? What about his four brothers? STEREOTYPING BULLSHIT
Mo Pie: his brothers all shower at once, because it's manlier! (perhaps I should save that joke for Flowers in the Attic week)
Weet: that's going to be the BEST WEEK
Mo Pie: it sure is! color all weeks blue but save one for AWESOME.
Weet: He's got strangely outsized features… It works on TV, but I think in person he may be offputting
Mo Pie: I think this kid is going to stick around, in spite of the fact that he can't really sing.
Weet: Agreed, he's the Jason Castro, He's very likable
Mo Pie: he is the Castro. absolutely. you just want to squeeze his little face.
Weet: he's also got very pretty eyes and amazing eyelashes… that hair plays up his Josh Hartnett In Virgin Suicides good looks
Mo Pie: Ian says he head all about Idol on the radio and nobody liked this performance.
Weet: what station is Ian listening to?!
Mo Pie: I love Ellen's "felt like I was at a resort drinking a pina colada." that's basically Jason Castro's entire raison d'etre, to make you feel that way.
Weet: very much, although Castro got by on the skin of his testicles by having two really good performances when he needed them
Mo Pie: also, did Kara just call Ellen and Randy "the guys"?
Weet: she did that earlier too… I'm sure that she would say it's non-gendered, but she never called Randy and Paula "the guys"
Mo Pie: no, I don't recall that she did.

Siobhan Magnus, “Paint It Black”

Weet: I do enjoy Siobhan's little quirky geek girl glasses… holy crap, she really does have a huge family. was she homeschooled?!?!
Mo Pie: oh deara god, I hope not.
Weet: this kid screams homeschooling to me
Mo Pie: she's very cute, though. I do enjoy her.
Weet: wow, that flashback to Aretha week was impressive… maybe I underrated Siobhan. she's legitmately quirky
Mo Pie: she seems so much more geniune than Lacey even though they're basically the same! it freaks me out.
Weet: aw, I liked her glasses, and she is too "pretty pretty" right now. She's got an Edward Gorey tattoo... how old is she?
Mo Pie: she does? okay, that's super cute.
Weet: Wow, I am now solidly in the Siobhan camp… that last note
Mo Pie: I think that note was not so great.
Weet: I liked the whole thing… it was a wow thing for me (I'm using my words!)
Mo Pie: but I do like Siobhan and also her name is Magnus. MAGNUS!!!
[Note to Weetapidol readers: our dear friend Jen’s new and very cute baby is named Magnus.]
Mo Pie: I ranked her first! so I think you should vote for her.
Weet: She's got a bit of a snaggle tooth going on and it makes me like her more! the camera was like "oh, look at her quirky footwear!"
Mo Pie: they are comparing her to Adam Lamberrrrrr.
Weet: Kara compared her to Adam Lamberrrr… jinx!
Mo Pie: hee! total jinx.
Weet: if she was thinking ahead, she would have saved the Cinderella thing for a few weeks from now

Lee DeWyze, “B east of Burden”

Mo Pie: who the hell is this guy?
Weet: BJ NOVAK
Mo Pie: oh yeah.
Weet: Oh my god, I've been to Mount Prospect! That's right by my Shermer office
Mo Pie: so he's not southern. FORGET IT. NEXT.
Weet: he's a pseudo Chicago boy… but really, it's not Chicago. and Ryan playing the sympathy card…
Mo Pie: yeah… "he's so nervous, y'all!"
Weet: Hmm... Beast of Burden not a good choice, this one has been SO overdone
Mo Pie: I don't know this song… I knew Paint It Black, and that one from Rock Band
Weet: I believe Bette Midler sang this one with Mick Jaggar in the 70's
Mo Pie: YAWN
Weet: yeah
Mo Pie: bored now, Lee DeWyze
Weet: the song itself is lame… wait, I was wrong: Bette Midler COVERED it, better than Mick Jaggar, in my opinion
Mo Pie: I'll have to go listen to that
Weet: Oh my god, Ellen just basically said he was exposing his seam… and seriously, is Bowersox in the pimp spot again?
Mo Pie: is she? are we almost done, finally? because that would be awesome. 12 people is a lot of people.
Weet: Indeed
Mo Pie: oh, we need Paige too
Weet: oh right, Paige
even I've forgotten about her and I like her!
Mo Pie: yeah, that's a bad sign… then again, we did first mention her about seven hours ago

Paige Miles, “Honky Tonk Woman”

Weet: Paige is from the south!
Mo Pie: you're trying to make Paige happen. I don't think Paige is going to happen.
Weet: Mo Pie: she's cute as a button. I hope she sticks around.
Weet: Nice blonde lady sticking Ryan's face in her armpit
Mo Pie: what song is this?
Weet: Honky Tonk Woman, maybe?
Mo Pie: I want to hear her sing in church. I love church singing!
Weet: I do too. is the leather arm band the new wallet chain? Her outfit is cute but curious… she's also wearing some kind of weird leather tourniquet around her neck
Mo Pie: I like her jumpsuit shorts and leather bracelet.
Weet: I do enjoy the jumpsuit and boots combo! she's delightful. vote, America! don't be RACIST
Mo Pie: go Paige go!
Weet: Randy doesn't call Ellen "Ellen" but rather "E"… like she's Elvis
Mo Pie: I adore Randy's use of "E"
Weet: wow, total backhanded compliments from Kara... "from someone who was struggling? For someone who has kind of a sucky voice? I have to applaud you for this. Since you sucked so bad before and stuff."
Mo Pie: hahaha. Kara sucks.
Weet: Aw, Paige is just ADORABLE
Mo Pie: she really is
Weet: How can America not love her!?
Mo Pie: cute as a button. LOVE HER, AMERICA.

Aaron Kelly, “Angie”

Weet: his mom's name is KELLY KELLY! that? Is awesome.
Mo Pie: are you sure? it is? srsly??
Weet: yes, do you want to stop and go back? because it is KELLY KELLY
Mo Pie: no, I believe you.
Weet: I did a double take
Mo Pie: that just makes me think of the Cheers episode. Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly…
Weet: it would be a dream for his mom, Kelly Kelly
Mo Pie: now what is this song?
Weet: “Angie”… was that a joke? Because this really is like the Kelly Kelly Kelly song, only with Angie
Mo Pie: no... I thought he was singing "MJ"!
Weet: bwahaha!
Mo Pie: but now that you point it out, yes, it is basically the Kelly Kelly Kelly song! also I am pretending he is singing it to Michael Jackson
Weet: When Mick Jagger sang it, he did give it extra syllables. Maybe he really was singing it to himself, MJ! OH M J.
Mo Pie: sorry, Aaron Kelly, but Tim Urban has the adorable bland kid vote all sewn up.
Weet: this is true. America needs someone who has gone through puberty, I'm sorry to say
Mo Pie: David Archuleta notwithstanding?
Weet: he doesn't have the Osmond factor that Archuleta had… also, Archuleta didn't have a mom named Archuleta Archuleta
Mo Pie: hahah. if only!!
Weet: Also, he just did votey hands, which means he is dead to me.

Crystal Bowersox, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

Weet: Crystal is in the pimp spot again… SHENANIGANS
Mo Pie: I do like her. also she's a songwriter like DAUGHTRY! but I fear she's destined to be the peaks-early, shocking boot.
Weet: maybe
Mo Pie: hence me putting her fourth.
Weet: aw, her dad teared up! that's adorable
Mo Pie: that is super cute.
Weet: she has a good look
Mo Pie: and I like this song! I know this song! oh, it was on Glee. hee. no wonder.
Weet: I'm vaguely disturbed that you know two songs, and only because they're featured on various pop culture references… you've never heard them in the wild
Mo Pie: no, I think I'd heard this song... but actually I think because it was on the Forrest Gump soundtrack?
Weet: not in the wild
Mo Pie: no. okay, nevermind.
Weet: that's like a zoo for music…a soundtrack=a zoo
Mo Pie: ?? okay!
Weet: I like Crystal, but I now worry that I like her because they WANT me to like her
She reminds me a bit of Kirstin Dunst, if Kirstin Dunst had dreds
Mo Pie: I do think she's incredibly authentic, and talented, and I like her.
Weet: I bet that she and Lacey don't get along in the AI house
Mo Pie: she's like the anti-Lacey… I hope she and Paige have a club
Weet: Lacey wants to be the quirky one and is trying to figure out how to Nancy Kerrigan Crystal and Siobhan
Mo Pie: heh. aw, she just said "Siobhan was amazing" and is being very humble.
Weet: yes, it makes me like her even more!
Mo Pie: GRASSY KNOLL: the judges keep saying "well you think you've got it all sewn up" and stuff… I love Crystal because she'll come out and say "uh, no, I don't think that." thereby unmasking the machinations of the judges!
Weet: which... is that supposed to be the AI PTB making us dislike her? and like Siobhan who has a more compelling Cinderella story?
Mo Pie: maybe so!!! we'll have to be vigilant about this.
Weet: We will cry shenanigans! Just like when we uncovered the Chris Lights phenomenon
Mo Pie: VIGILANCE.

Predictions and Results

Mo Pie: I put Lacey last, I fear it could also be Andrew, and maybe Aaron.
Weet: predictions: Not!Archuleta and god I hope Lacey Brown. Wait are there two or one tonight?
Mo Pie: no, it's only one… we're in the real show now.
Weet: then I hope Lacey. .. I predicted Lacey in my pool picks, which probably means that she stays
Mo Pie: I predicted her too though. let's go find out! you should go find out. since I cheated on the show you can discover the results.
Weet: I'm going to find out
[Weetabix searches]
Weet: it is a happy day in America… according to Twitter… Lacey Brown got walked
Mo Pie: YES!
Weet: Woo!
Mo Pie: I love how Twitter is now the go-to source.
Weet: talk about a Hive Mind
Mo Pie: no kidding
Weet: I'm happy about this turn of events… now Siobhan and Bowersox can sleep soundly tonight
Mo Pie: a lot of our pool players nailed it... I'm curious to see what the Weetapidol Hive Mind picks are, and how the points shake out! Speaking of a hive mind.
do you want to do the points post after you do the spreadsheet?
Weet: I will get it posted at some point tomorrow
Mo Pie: lovely… I will format this chat and make it go!
Weet: Weetapidol out!
Mo Pie: goodnight!

'Pidol Pool Picks!

2010-03-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

Want to play along at home? Now's your chance! Rank the contestants from 1 to 12 (or from 12 to 1) in the order you think they'll be voted off. The closer you are to each contestant's correct ranking, the more points you'll receive. Plus, we'll average all our picks to come up with the picks of the Weetapidol Hive Mind, which has done pretty well in the pool the last two seasons!

You can wait to post your picks until after the top 12 perform next week, but they have to be in before the results show (obvs), so the deadline is Wednesday 9:00 PM Eastern Daylight Time.

Once again there will be a prize for the winner (the Idol-related merchandise of your choice). I believe last season the new Daughtry CD went out to the winner!

Previous winners have included Martha, Kelly S., Wendi (and I can't find who won Season 6, was it you, Kim?) This season, will one of these fine entrants repeat her victory? Will the Weetapidol Hive Mind triumph at last? Does Shmuel stand a chance? Find out, this season on.... AaaaaaammmmmmmERICAN Idol!

For your convenience, and in no particular order except the one posted on Wikipedia (which is, um, alphabetical, so I guess it is a particular order at that) here are the names of the top 12:

Didi Benami
Crystal Bowersox
Lacey Brown
Lee Dewyze
Andrew Garcia
Casey James
Aaron Kelly
Michael Lynche
Siobhan Magnus
Paige Miles
Katie Stevens
Tim Urban

Good luck!

Top 8 Guys: "For A Good Time, Call..."

2010-03-11T21:55:00.000-08:00

Weet: ready? skype-y or phone?
Mo Pie: yes! I don’t have skype, so phone or chat for me... por moi... je ne sais quoi... je drunky!
Weet: what's your phone number again?
Mo Pie: 1-800-DRUNKY

Weet: Where are you? I've got Ryan standing next to a very handsome urban gentleman.
Mo Pie: Ryan is making eyes at a boy in a white shirt, next to the urban gentleman with a pocket square.
Weet: Got it.
Mo Pie: I don't really understand why Ryan Seacrest is having this weird moment with everybody. It's like he's a drill sergeant or something. And he hasn't made out with anyone yet, so I don't really see the point. He looks very pleased with himself, though.
Weet: Bbbrrrrrrrthththoooooo.
Mo Pie: Are you doing little sound effects?
Weet: It doesn't translate well to text.
Mo Pie: Why is Randy dressed like he's in a prep school acapella group? I'm going to try to wait a little bit before I say how much I hate Kara. I'll see how far I can get into the show.
(a second passes)
Uh. I hate Kara. She's just bumping Simon like, "Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!"
Weet: Why is tonight any different?

Lee DeWize, “Fireflies”

Mo Pie: Who is this guy?
Weet: I think it's BJ Novak, from the side.
Mo Pie: I thought that earlier!
Weet: I hate the Fireflies song. It was written by someone with a developmental disability. I think. Probably not.
Mo Pie: This is awful. He can't get through three words without taking a breath. If there's any justice in the world, this guy is getting voted off.
Weet: He really does look like BJ Novak though.
Mo Pie: He really does. It's kind of creepy.
Weet: Randy is bluh bluh bluh.
Mo Pie: Ellen! “You had pitch problems but WHO CARES! You're adorable!” They're just trying to be nice to him. They're the judges; they should be mean.
Weet: There's a star BUBBLING?!
Mo Pie: I hate Kara. “A star bubbling”! Oh good, now she's like fondling Simon.
Weet: She's literally touching him. She's as far over as she can be.
Mo Pie: She's elbowing him! Well, Simon liked this performance. Maybe I'm crazy.
Weet: You're not crazy. Mister Flavor Saver.

Alex Lambert, "Trouble"

Weet: This screws me up, because it's not Adam Lambert.
Mo Pie: I accidentally typed "Adam Lambert" a few lines ago.
Weet: That's funny. Has he gone through puberty yet?
Mo Pie: Hs face would suggest no, because he looks like Macaulay Culkin.
Weet: He looks like Mikey from the Goonies. I don't like his weird voice. Everything's like nyaauwww nyauuuwww.
Mo Pie: I can't type that!
Weet: Sure you can. You want me to repeat it?
Mo Pie: Actually, I think I've got it.
Weet: It was just awright for me, dawg.
Mo Pie: Randy's outfit makes me laugh. He's got friendship beads, too! He went to acapella camp!
Weet: Yes. Ellen's got a pocket square as well, and needs some lotion for her neck.
Mo Pie: Ellen has a pocket square?
Weet: Yes. Dunkelman is in her pocket.
Mo Pie: It's nice that Dunkelman is supporting the new person.
Weet: Kara is ON TOP OF SIMON. She's so close to him, she's actually behind him.
Mo Pie: I'm trying not to say "I hate Kara," but...
Weet: She is IN HIS CHAIR.
Mo Pie: Now the judges are just being annoying, this Randy-in-a-bikini business.
Weet: I'm bored by this. I'm more concentrating on Simon's chest hair.

Tim Irving, “ Hallellujah”

Weet: I love this song!
Mo Pie: People love this kid. He's another person who's going to go very high in my Weetapidol pool pick.
Weet: He looks like the Josh Hartnett character from Virgin Suicides.
Mo Pie: I don't understand any of those words. This is a good performance. This is going to get him into the Top 12 for sure. And he was like, shitty a few weeks ago.
Weet: He has an eyebrow situation that I'm not cosigning.
Mo Pie: He's got the grandma vote, which is the David Archuleta vote and the Kris Allen vote. So....
Weet: Point. Pointy. Lesbian approaching! Shocked him!
Mo Pie: That is the first time any of the judges have gotten out of their chair.
Weet: Paula has gotten up out of her chair, but no one could ever tell.
Mo Pie: Oh my god, I agree with Kara! I don't hate Kara right now.
Weet: You have to persevere with your hate.
Mo Pie: It will come back in a matter of moments.
Weet: Kara just checked out Simon's package. She just did! No shit!
Mo Pie: If she thought it would get her some more attention , she would unzip his fly and start giving him head right now. Oh Ellen is so funny. She's a breath of fresh air, that Ellen. Love her.
Weet: Oooooh, pimp hands. What's the anti-pimp hand vote? MY VOTE!

Andrew Garcia, “Genie in a Bottle”

Weet: Is that Bobby Trendy? No. Apparently not. He does look kind of like the Bobby Trendy character from “Ugly Betty.
Mo Pie: I think his name is Andrew Garcia, or Anthony Garcia or something.
Weet: I kind of love this already.
Mo Pie: Genie in a Bottle? Me too,
Weet: He did Adele already, which I love. I'm not biased because he has a wallet chain.
Mo Pie: He does have a wallet chain, though.
Weet: But he does have a neck tattoo, and I'm pretty against that since Jeffrey Sebilia on “Project Runway.”
Mo Pie: He's not really changing this song up that much.
Weet: I would buy his version on iTunes, I think.
Mo Pie: He's awesome, I love that. I liked the ending a lot.
Weet: The quality of his voice was not a wow. It was interesting, but his voice was anything you'd hear at an open mic.
Mo Pie: Yeah, it was all about the arrangement.
Weet: He's from the rival acapella group at camp.
Mo Pie: I agree, like, 100% with Ellen. That the end was the best. But I also agree with you that his voice isn't that exciting.
Weet: Yeah, what Ellen said is exactly what you said.
[Simon says he's “with Kara.”]
Weet: He's with her because she's in his lap.
Mo Pie: See, I'm not saying anything right now.

Casey James, “You'll Think of Me”

Mo Pie: I think he's cute!
Weet: His shirt is unbuttoned three buttons too low.
Mo Pie: I can't decide if me liking him is going to be like Ace Young embarrassing or Chris Daughtry prescient. I like his shirt. I like that embroidering.
Weet: I like the shirt too. It's just unbuttoned too low.
Mo Pie: I can tell you right now that I'm going to have no objectivity about this cute boy. He brings out my inner cougar. He's got a hummingbird on his guitar! How cute is that!?!
Weet: It's something that they had at the guitar store?
Mo Pie: The Guitar Center was having a sale.
Weet: We have said nothing about his voice.
Mo Pie: I don't CARE about his voice. I don't know that song, I don't have an opinion about it.
Weet: I don't know it either, but I was nonplussed. Apparently I don't find him as cute as you do.
Mo Pie: Apparently not.
Weet: Do you know how bummed I'm going to be if we don't have a cute boy to fawn over this year? It's going to be like that Archuleta season.
Mo Pie: I liked David Cook. I liked his arrangements.
Weet: Yeah, I know, but it's not like we wanted to have his penis in our mouths or anything.
Mo Pie: No, that was Chris Daughtry's season.
Weet: This is what I'm saying.

Aaron Kelly, “I'm Already There”

Mo Pie: I enjoy this song. This kid can't sing, though.
Weet: He looks dorky. He's got all the stage presence of Archuleta, which is to say nothing, and no voice.
Mo Pie: Yeah, this is...
Weet: Painful?
Mo Pie: We'll see what happens when the chorus hits.
Weet: He's not Osmondy, like Archuleta.
Mo Pie: Is that a compliment, or an insult?
Weet: I actually like the Osmonds.
Mo Pie: He's making creepy sex eyes at me! It's gross!
Weet: He heard you talking about being a cougar earlier.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weet: His eyes are spaced too far apart for his nose.
Mo Pie: His eyes are too small. I mean none of this is his fault, but they're too small.
[Randy starts talking.]
Weet: "You have a voice for radio, kid."
Mo Pie: I don't know, it was so... it was just a'it to me. This kid made no impression on me at all.
Weet: I have nothing. It's no Josh Groban, arm extended situation here.
Mo Pie: I'm just gonna go with "little eyes." That's my one takeaway.
Weet: Don't boo Ellen! She's on your side, people.
[Kara is talking.]
Weet: Thanks for explaining it to us, Kara.
Mo Pie: I actually agree with Kara over Simon at this moment.
Weet: You love her. You want to marry her.
Mo Pie: We're in one of those movies, where they hate each other at first and then have sex.
Weet: And then meet up in a crowded courtyard and wildly kiss while mussing each other's hair.

Todrick Hall, "Someone to Love"

Weet: TODRICK!?
Mo Pie: Yes. Todrick Hall
Weet: I love this song.
Mo Pie: I do too! I'm voting for Todrick. This is awesome.
Weet: And he did the falsetto!
Mo Pie: This guy strikes me that he could be in the cast of Rent with those fingerless gloves. He could be Tom Collins right now.
Weet: He's about to be knocked over for his jacket!
Mo Pie: He's only putting about 70% in right now.
Weet: He put it all into the beginning?
Mo Pie: I would vote for that, though. It was good. Not a 100 percent effort but it was good.
Weet: Well, Randy, you're right, it was the best male vocal we've heard tonight. Has Ellen ever heard Queen? Because the song IS supposed to sound like it's gospel.
Mo Pie: It's not Godspell, Kara. It's RENT!
Weet: She needs a drag queen to come out wearing a Santa costume.
Mo Pie: I would be so happy if that happened right now. I love that Simon called out the fingerless gloves as being Broadway! I'm so smart!

Big Mike, "This Woman's Work"

Weet: He's doing “This Woman's Work”! Oh my god!
Mo Pie: I don't think I know this song.
Weet: It's from 9 1/2 Months. It's old. It's from the 80s. A Kevin Bacon movie. Kate Bush?
Mo Pie: Oh my god, Kate Bush! I wish someone would do "Wuthering Heights"!
Weet: He's owning this.
Mo Pie: Ian says it's an interesting choice.
Weet: I knew Ian would know it.
Mo Pie: It's because of him that I even know who Kate Bush is.
Weet: I would never in a million years figure out what song this was if I just heard it.
Mo Pie: Mmm.
Weet: I liked that, but it was no Rent queen.
Mo Pie: Well I guess it was good? It's hard for me to judge since I don't know the song.
Weet: It's a great song, you should go listen to it.
Mo Pie: Well man, these judges love it. I trust Ellen. If she says it's good, then it's good!
Weet: Wow. You are America.
Mo Pie: Hee.
Weet: Kara's faking crying.
Mo Pie: What the hell, Kara?
Weet: (laughs hysterically at Kara's comments)
Mo Pie: Well I'm sorry I didn’t know the song, because apparently that was the key.

Mo Pie: Predictions?
Weet: Not Michael. Not Todrick.
Mo Pie: This Lee guy, maybe?
Weet: I say Adam Lamberrrrr. I mean Alex Lamberrrr.
Mo Pie: Yeah, he goes. That's the one spoiler I have.
Weet: Rock on me. Tim Urban was pretty good... he's no Todrick or Michael Lynche. I would also maybe say Garcia.
Mo Pie: There was Casey James.
Weet: Oh, "I'm Already There"... I'll vote for "Already There" kid. Aaron Kelly.
Mo Pie: Good call.

Weet: So Todrick Hall was eliminated.
Mo Pie: You're kidding!!
Weet: Well, he's always got a part in Rent. Also, Jumper Girl.
Mo Pie: Well, we saw that coming.
Weet: And Lily Scott.
Mo Pie: Wasn't she in the pimp spot? Wow, I liked her!
Weet: She was! So there it is.
Mo Pie: There it is…

Weetapidol out!

Top 9 Girls: Something Shy of Amizing

2010-03-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

We're going to Skype, and one of us is going to type what we're saying. This hearkens back to the old-timey days when we used to be in the same room! So we'll see how it goes.

Weet : I have to tell you I don't know any of these people. I haven't watched it at all. I know there's something about Pants on the Ground? I know nothing.
MoPie : Just for the record, Pants on the Ground is awesome.
Weet : I have to go and YouTube it.
MoPie : Okay, where are you in your video?
Weet : It starts with a girl who looks like she might be from Flowers in the Attic, staring with dead eyes into the camera, and there's lights behind her.
MoPie : THIS! Is A.... merican Idol! Wait, I love playing this game with the opening credits, where you see how little of Taylor there is in it.
Weet : They have Ruben in it, though. I still think they would pimp J. Hud a little more.
MoPie : It's only the winners, though.
Weet : This is my first experience with Ellen, but right now she's kind of turning me on. Kara's trying too hard.
MoPie : You say that about the woman who's NOT sitting on Simon's lap.
Weet : Simon is now engaged to a waitress.
MoPie : I think she's a makeup artist?
Weet : Whatever. That's the same thing.

Katie Stevens, "Breakaway"

Weet : Ooh, she's doing Kelly Clarkson!
MoPie : It's the eyelashes that kind of make her Flowers in the Attic.
Weet : It is the eyelashes! I'm not feeling it, dawg.
MoPie : You never want to set yourself up for a comparison to Kelly Clarkson.
Weet : Also, her pants are tragic. She has very pretty hair though.
MoPie : No... to that note, I say no.
Weet : It's like my karaoke fail this weekend.
MoPie : We failed together this weekend.
Weet : I'm sorry Katie, no. I like the Idolette in the background, though. I wanted to like Miss Katie.
MoPie : Judges! Randy's saying, "You're no Kelly Clarkson."
Weet : It was like karaoke!
MoPie : Yeah, Randy is much more useful this season. And was not the right song, Ellen. And now.. Kara
Weet : Saying you have a radio voice on this show is kind of like saying you have a radio face.
MoPie : Kara is useless.
Weet : God I forgot how much I hate the way Kara talks.
MoPie : We don't know how Katie looked two weeks ago.
Weet : I'll take Simon's word that she looks better.
MoPie : I've seen some episodes and I still don't remember her. I don't remember her at all. That doesn't bode well.

COMMERCIALS

Siobhan Magnus, "House of the Rising Sun"

Weet : We know a Magnus!
MoPie : We're rooting for her.
Weet : We shall see.
MoPie : Look at Ryan's little hair! It's all [makes a church steeple sign with her hands on her head]. Dude, acapella!
Weet : It's not my favorite song.
MoPie : She's got great lips, with the little lip gloss, and that was awesome.
Weet : She does look cute. And also, apparently has seven feet long legs.
MoPie : She'll be in the top twelve for sure. Even over skype, over the Captain's office phone ringing, this still sounds great.
Weet : It is. It's am--izing.
MoPie : Amizing?
Weet : Yes, amizing!
MoPie : I'm going to put her up high in my Weetapidol pool picks.
Weet : When do we have to have Weetapidol pool picks in?
MoPie : Top 12! Oh, shut up, Kara. Shut. Up. Kara.
Weet : She's so smarmy.
MoPie : That performance was not weird! It was the first time I've seen her and it wasn't weird to me.
Weet : I thought it was a bit dark, I could agree with that.
MoPie : Really?
Weet : I do like her little top, though.
MoPie : She's adorable. I hate how Ryan is going to start arguing with the judges every time. There's already eight million judges, Ryan, we don't need another one. Gasp! She did the vote-pimping fingers!
Weet : I hate the fingers.

Lacey Brown, "Some Brandi Carlysle Song"

Weet : I hate Brandi Carlysle
MoPie : Is it the hair? You hate the hair?
Weet : No, I hate Brandi Carlysle. She sings that horrible I Hope You Dance Song.
MoPie : This girl is trying way too hard to be quirky. Leopard print, red hair, green finger nails, pearls. "I'm so quirky! So vintage! So cool!"
Weet : I'm with you. She's inventing her personality through accessories.
MoPie : I just don't like her voice, the tone of her voice. I just don't like her.
Weet : That was forgettable.
MoPie : It wasn't a happy song, was it? She kept smiling. And she was whining at the end.
Weet : (Listening to Randy) That's the best performance!?!?
MoPie : She's got to go home.
Weet : Ellen wants to sleep with her.
MoPie : Ellen has better taste than that. Have you seen Ellen's wife?
Weet : True.
MoPie : "You're back on your path" is the musical expertise of Kara. She just doesn't mean anything. This girl tries too hard!
Weet : I said it was forgettable! So did Simon!
MoPie : There's nothing about her that seems sincere to me. I just don't like her.

Katelyn Epperly, "I Feel the Earth Move"

Weet : Ooh, she's playing it!
MoPie : And she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Weet : Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
MoPie : I don't know...
Weet : This is very similar to what I wore to my high school graduation, only longer.
MoPie : Wow, I really missepelled "Katelyn" on my first try. That's like an 80s little jumper, isn't it?
Weet : Well, I graduated from high school in the 80s, so yeah. Thank you for pointing that out.
MoPie : Hee.
Weet : Is that a giant zit on her forehead or a mole?
MoPie : I think it is a zit?
Weet : Otherwise it's like a bullseye.
MoPie : If Randy says "I like your hair," that's a bad sign.
Weet : Yeah.
MoPie : Ellen says she's forgettable. And I literally can't remember what she sang ten seconds ago.
Weet : Do you just want to smack Kara so fucking bad?
MoPie : Yes.
Weet : She just has that look on her face...
MoPie : It's the whole gestalt of Kara.
Weet : She's basically sitting on Simon's lap.
MoPie : Because she doesn't want to be out of the shot.
Weet : Or she's trying to get the fuck away from Ellen. Homophobe! She really is in his shot, though. And there's like four feet betwene her and Ellen.
MoPie : Neither of us said anything about the singing.
Weet : It was there. I can see you coveting her necklace, though.
MoPie : No kidding, right?
Weet : That's a total Mo Pie necklace.

Commercials

Didi Benamy, "Rhiannon"

MoPie : Fleetwood Mac!
Weet : WOO! I got a little excited there. OOH! I love this song.
MoPie : I love Fleetwood Mac.
Weet : Who does she sound like? Not Stevie Nicks.
MoPie : No idea.
Weet : It's kind of really weird and stilted.
MoPie : Her smile is weird to me.
Weet : She herself is weird but I kind of like her voice.
MoPie : Do you just like the song?
Weet : I really do, yeah. You know who she sounds like? Maria Taylor.
MoPie : I don't know who that is.
Weet : She's kind of an indie jangly chick singer.
MoPie : I tend to enjoy those.
Weet : How do we feel about the strange outfit.
MoPie : I have to see it.
Weet : It's one-sleeved.
MoPie : Then no. I'm over one sleeves.
Weet : Yeah. I thought this performance was a little bit more memorable.
MoPie : Than what?
Weet : Than the Carole King... and whatever the Flowers in the Attic girl did. She kind of has a bitchface, though.
MoPie : All these girls seem to be really the same to me.
Weet : I've heard that about this season too.
MoPie : Pretty white girls with shiny lip gloss
Weet : Well, that's the makeup artist's fault.
MoPie : I'm fixated.

Paige Miles "Smile"

Weet : Ok, she just won.
MoPie : Who is this?
Weet : Paige Miles.
MoPie : She does have a pretty voice. I've never even heard of this girl, though.
Weet : I didn't remember Kelly Clarkson until Big Band Week, which was like Top 6 or something.
MoPie : That was one of the best Idol performances of all time.
Weet : She's a little warbly, but I think she has potential.
MoPie : Let's see what the judges think.
(Randy thinks it didn't work, despite it being his favorite song of all time)
Randy is actually so much more useful this season, it's weird.
MoPie : Did Ellen just say that the song is supposed to be happy? Because the words are "smile though your heart is breaking." It's not a happy song. I like Ellen, but she doesn't know what she's talking about. Well, the judges hated her even though you loved her.
Weet : Well, what do they know?
MoPie : She's got really pretty eyes. They're like grey. They're beautiful.
Weet : They ARE gorgeous, and now she's crying. SMILE PAIGE though your heart is breaking!
MoPie : Well, I hope she doesn't get eliminated!
Weet : Me too!
MoPie : I would like to see more from her, not those other randos! She's so sparkly and shiny! She's cute! Don't vote her off, America!

Crystal Bowersox, "Gimme One Reason"

Weet : Look, Kara is like humping America's leg right now!
MoPie : I'm just stunned that she's doing Tracy Chapman. I like her because she's different. She's actually said things like "I'm in it for the money" and she refuses to bleach her teeth.
Weet : That's cool! She kind of rocks.
MoPie : She does kind of rock. She's going to go up high in my pool picks. This is a cool song for her, and that Tracy Chapman vibe, she's got that going on.
(The judges start talking.)
Oh Kara. I really would like them to fire Kara. I don't think I've expressed at all my true dislike of Kara, have I?
Weet : Mmm.
MoPie : I don't think Crystal's going to win, though. She's too Jason Castro-y. That's probably a random association because of the dreadlocks.
Weet : She's too divisive.
MoPie : I think she peaked too early. I don't think she's going to win.
Weet : Are you going to reassess where you're putting her in the pool because of that?
MoPie : I think she's one of the fake out front runners. But did anyone think Kris Allen was going to win last year? Not even the Weetapidol Hive Mind predicted that one.

Lily Scott, "I Fall To Pieces"

Weet : Oh Patsy. Oh Patsy you would hate this.
MoPie : Has she sung a Cyndi Lauper song yet? Because she should.
Weet : She reminds me of the girl from Squirrel Nut Zippers.
MoPie : Oh yeah! Totally! They put her last and they want her in the Top 12, because they put those people in the pimp spot. Her and Crystal, they are pretty much the stand out people.
Weet : She's got an interesting voice, distinctive, but it wasn't hot, Randy. Wasn't hot.
MoPie : Right, originality, but not hot. Even Ellen looks unamused by Kara.

Weet : Who's going home?
MoPie : I hope it's Flowers in the Attic girl and jumpsuit girl.
Weet : I hope it's not Paige. She's the only ethnic girl!
MoPie : I know! I don't want it to be some kind of Aryan nation top 12. Oh my god, now Siobhan did the two fingers thing behind Ryan! That makes me like her even less! Pimping! I disapprove.
Weet : Agreed, you should be able to stand on the merit of your own voice.

Weetapidol Out!

This Casey Guy Is Hot...

2010-03-03T19:50:00.000-08:00

...but I'm pretty sure that if you hook up Karaoke Revolution, I can sing this Gavin DeGraw song better than he does. And have.

(Yes, we will be back! After Weetacon this weekend...)

Random Thought From Mo Pie

2010-02-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching the girls' show, and oh my god, I've never heard so much song torture in one episode before. So many of these girls were awful, awful, awful. "Landslide" and "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" were even worse than awful. And I hated what Didi did to that poor Ingrid Michaelson song even though she at least hit the notes. Blech. (I'm rooting for that hot dude with the guitar I saw in the semifinals. And the dude who did "Straight Up.")

Season 8 Finale: SWEAOMSME!

2009-05-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

Pie : I spoiled myself for Idol…could not take the tension!
Weet : shit
Pie : I won't give it away
Weet : I'm worried that I may have on Facebook, but don't spoil me! I made the mistake of looking at Facebook at some point, but I don't think that it had been revealed at that moment
Pie : well avoid Twitter at all costs
Weet : will do
Pie : I went to seek it out but I didn't even have to search
Weet : that's pretty sad, actually. I mean, I like living in the future, but I'd be pissed if I lived in CA or something
Pie : I could easily have avoided it
Weet : I get everything, first dose and am a little jaded because of it.
Pie : also, Ian is setting up our new flat screen gigantic HDTV. you have 17 minutes, Ian!
Weet : oooh! gigantic flat screen HDTV!
Pie : I want to see HDAM
Weet : fanciness!
Pie : hee. Hdam Lambert. I am already drinking and making puns.
Weet : I'm sorry to tell you that Adam is improved by not having HD
Pie : is it the pancake makeup? I hear he has a history of bad skin. and an eating disorder.
Weet : the pancake and the general corpse-ish nature of his skin. yes, he's got some cystic acne scars. I can't help notice that stuff. I wish I could not, but I just do. Allison had bad skin too, but she's 17, which goes with the territory
Pie : well, I would still fully make out with Adam Lambert
Weet : oh, bad skin has never stopped me from lusting after anyone. I'm just saying that he benefits from not being in HD. it smoothes out his complexion quite a bit. ok, I'm going to switch to the living room and go get some wines and also, Oreos
Pie : I may need to replenish my wine before we even begin! I am drinking Spy Valley 2007 Sauvignon Blanc and it is fantastic. we had it at a wine bar and then went hunting for it because it was $9 per glass at the wine bar.
Weet : perhaps. wow, you started early
Pie : I still have no Oreos. I have angel food cake and strawberries, though. okay! The HDam TV is still not working yet but we are getting closer
Weet : 7 minutes!
Pie : our new TV is sooooooo prettttyyyyyy
Weet : I've chosen a bottle of Alpha Omega 2007 Unoaked Chardonnay, mostly because I had multiples
Pie : oh god, that is a damn fine Chardonnay
Weet : I’m poised with excitement, and also, string cheese as I decided that the Oreos wouldn't go well with the Chard, so string cheese was in order
Pie : it is on! wow, Randy's outfit in HD.
Weet : did you have a seizure? also, I've noticed that Ryan looks extra short in HD
Pie : a small one, yes, I believe so. ADAM LAMBERRRRRR!
Weet : we're having no buffer tonight! It's bareback!
Pie : the opening credits are all... in HD. I'm sorry, the novelty of HD is coinciding with this broadcast. I am devirginizing... devirginating? my TV with Idol. also am already drunk.
Weet : how sweet, it's like you've just now entered the new millennium
Pie : what's the word? devirginizing?
Weet : deflowering?
Pie : we'll go with that. also, that's what Adam did to Kris backstage. 100 million votes! and one of them was mine, as it was the only one I could get in in three hours.
Weet : Adam paints one of his fingers every time Kris calls him "Daddy"
Pie : Randy's glasses and tie! and they are making fun of his "for me for you for me"! they make fun of that on TWoP all the time!
Weet : that was pretty awesome
Pie : I do love the glasses and bow tie and how they match. Kara, the shitty songwriter. Kara in this montage sounds like Edina Monsoon. "sweetie, darling"
Weet : I'm sorry, sweetie, but I'm really glad that I didn't watch the auditions, as I would seriously hate Kara at this point
Pie : "squish squish, sweetie, squish squish"
Weet : I really do think that Paula has someone writing her lines for her. They critique the rehearsal and then give her notes, that she can barely read.
Pie : you're not wrong. we missed Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise on the teevee last night.. they were at last night's show. ADAM LAMBERRRRRRRRRRRR! walking down the STAIRRRRRR!!!
Weet : damn, that's an A List audience and they gave Kris a broken mic!
Pie : man, they are mean to poor Kris and Adam has a broken mic too…Adam's hair is so pointy and cute!
Weet : sound problems abound... this does not bode well What is wrong with this woman in Conway, AR? She looks like a blow up doll.
Pie : who, Mikalah? she was a contestant! do you not remember her shitty singing?
Weet : no, I totally don't remember it. But there's Carly!
Pie : why does Carly have a weird.. floof on her head?
Weet : She's a San Diego native! Whom I'm absolutely positive was my waitress when I was there for the last Journalcon!
Pie : Adam's eyes sparkle so much in HD! I love you, little sparkly-eyed man.
the top 13 do "So What"
Pie : who are these people?
Weet : I don't even remember half of these people
Pie : god, it's been a long season. I don't remember them either!
Weet : Poor Scott... no one wants to stand next to him when there's a lot of flailing
Pie : and they are all dressed in gospel singer white again. Adam is so cute! he IS a rock star. so is Allison.
Weet : apparently that's a finale motife, representing the heaven of fame, perhaps
Pie : I always feel sorry for the few who don't get to go on the tour.
Weet : only the top ten, right?
Pie : like most of them get to go on the tour and perform together... but not, like... Jasmine and Jorge, or whoever those people are. Jasmine sounds like shit... Jorge doesn't know the words... and Gokey has color-coordinated his glasses.
Weet : the Also Rans are kind of acting pathetic about the camera
Pie : CAMERA! I HAVE MISSED YOU!
Weet : I kind of love that about Gokey. I love his glasses fetish.
Pie : commercials! that is cute. I am warmer towards Gokey since he is not in the finale. it makes me less stressed out about the results.
Weet : I don't understand this Coke commercial. There are slug-like creatures giving us Coca-Cola?
Pie : Ian wants to know how many inches is your TV? he is a size queen.
Weet : I worry that I would be too ungodly for Gokey. Aside from the fact that I'm a happily married woman, of course, I do enjoy the sexing and the swearing a great deal. 52 inches.
Pie : that's why we got married, we have that in common. HA HA HA HA! ours is 49, and so pretty.
Weet : Does it bother Ian that our screen is 3 inches larger? FOR HER PLEASURE?
Pie : oh, ours is 46. never mind. ours is wee.
at the next commercial I am going to get angel food cake!
Weet : it's not the size that matters, little Een. Don't feel sad.
Pie : he wants to know if yours is 1080 P. I do not know what that means.
Weet : hell yes
Pie : then yes, he feels bad. heh.
DAVID COOK, "Permanent"
Pie : I heard this song was written for his brother, who recently passed away.
Weet : interesting. I'm over David Cook. were we ever, um, under him? because he still has zero sex appeal although I did really like his kind of dorky quality, and the fact that he sang Phantom
Pie : I enjoyed him, and I like "Time of My Life" so I hope he has some more hit singles…however, the vest. Ian is rolling his eyes at David Cook, although he is sorry his brother died.
Weet : there's a new song that I've been hearing on the top 40 station (which is what I turn to when the alternative station is playing Nickleback). It's not bad (but it's not this one).
Pie : interesting, I will have to check it out.
Weet : I see that he still hasn't figured out his hair situation
Pie : no, he has not. but he paved the way for Adam. it was watching Cookie that made Adam want to be on the show!
Weet : awww.... he hugged Ryan! Ryan feels for him.
Pie : so I have a warm spot in my heart for him, for bringing me Mr. Lamberrrrr.
Weet : Really? I didn't know that! Oooh, the story behind the song, perhaps? Yes! It was about his brother.
Pie : oh, that was touching.
Weet : aw, he made me choke up! I cannot deal with it when people have earnest voice breaks. It makes me tear up every damned time.
Pie : he is "giving up" the title tonight? is he going to come out and put a tiara on the head of Adam or Kris? "here is my tiara and sash..."
Weet : Only in the Best American Idol That Ever Was
Pie : AWARDS PORTION, WTF? also known as the Filler Awards
Weet : remember that finale where they brought out the Claymate guy to sing like Clay and then Clay came out? I still think of that moment and smile sometimes.
Pie : that was completely awesome. I was just about to mention it.
this stuff is all new to me, since I did not watch any of these audition episodes.
Weet : I don't care for this awards thing. It's the part of AI that I dislike quite a bit, where they are mocking people who are clearly not thinking it's funny.
Pie : yeah, that's why I don't watch these episodes.... it's funny I guess, but I feel too bad for the earnest people. I mean that one lady KILLED HERSELF IN FRONT OF PAULA'S HOUSE.
Weet : I mean, this guy in the plaid coat is obviously mocking the process, as is Norman Gentle, whom I kind of love.
Pie : these are not stable people.
Weet : exactly
Pie : Norman Gentle should come back, because I think he has a sense of irony... that is enjoyable.
Weet : and the show is riding on that and taking advantage of people who are either mentally ill or developmentally disabled. I find that extremely irresponsible. At least they gave it to the Normal Gentle guy who is in on the joke.
Pie : I truly do love Randy's ensemble with all my heart. now Norman Gentle is going to sing! hee. see, this is cute. like the Clay guy.
Weet : this is hilarious! This was apparently the prime comedy that we missed by not watching auditions. Norman Gentle, I lift my Shoddy Treatment glass to you, good sir.
Pie : I know, I missed 99% of the Norman Gentle phenomenon... this was the guy Shmuel loved.
Weet : oooh, Queen Latifah and LIl Rounds!!!
Pie : Ian thought he just saw Steve Martin in the audience. IS THAT TRUE?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Weet : He might have! I don't know, I was typing. But Lil Rounds ensemble? Is FANTASTIC
Pie : I love Queen Latifah. Lil has some HEELS, girl.
Weet : Oooh, Queen Latifah's ensemble is EVEN BETTER
Pie : IT IS.
I love these duets, where the Idols get to sing with fucking awesome people that they love.
Weet : Damn, I need a one-sleeved corset festooned with zippers. Where do I get myself one of those?!
yes, like Elliott Yasmin singing with mofo Mary J. Blige
Pie : I love Queen Latifah. I know I just said that. But I feel the need to reiterate. QUEEN FUCKING LATIFAH. this song is not that exciting, I realize belatedly.
Weet : no, but the dazzlement that is the Queen makes up for it
Pie : I can't make out the words. "you are driving me insane, in a barbeque in the rain."
Weet : they should sing something else, but this is probably Queen's single or something "You got a heart in chain, something beautiful in the brain?"
Pie : like, Lil Rounds might as well be a backup singer with this arrangement.
"you the rain, you deranged"? commercials!
Weet : Oh, the AT&T people have totally co-opted the Langdon Pigg song that I love ("Falling In Love In a Coffee Shop") that was previously used for a DeBeers commercial. Weird.
Pie : what is this song?
Weet : is Jason Mraz going to come out? It's a Jason Mraz song…except that's not Jason Mraz, it's Alexis. oh, there's Jason Mraz, the guy I kept accusing Kris of being
Pie : where is Kris, then, if this is Jason Mraz?
Weet : they would be indistinguishable
Pie : okay, edit the header. ANOOP, ALEXIS, AND JASON MRAZ. I like this song
Weet : in fact, this might very well be Kris, wearing a hat…he reminds me of Jake's roommate Jared
Pie : Alexis's voice did not sound that great... I kept thinking her ouster was too soon, but she did not impress me just now.
Weet : No, Alexis was all flair, no substance. Ryan just acknowledged that the Kris Allen fans probably like Jason Mraz and now we have a montage
Pie : Kris Allen fans, woo! not as wild a woo as the Adam cheer will no doubt be…KRIS MONTAGE
Weet : and also, Kris wasn't as cute before the Idol stylists got to him
Pie : KRIS AND KEITH URBAN, "Kiss A Girl"…too bad it isn't Adam and Katy Perry, "I Kissed A Girl"
Weet : who... whatever. I wonder if Keith Urban is playing, maybe Nicole Kidman is in the audience
Pie : I actually think this is a really catchy little song!
Weet : it's not terrible, but a little too country for me
Pie : I enjoy the occasional country tune. I would download this, I think. I like it.
Weet : you have the most eclectic musical tastes, Mopie. Seriously, there's no predicting what you will latch onto. It's so intriguing.
Pie : it's true. I like "The River" by Garth Brooks, and "Before He Cheats" by La Underwood, and Dolly Parton singing anything, and "Who I Am" by some lady.
Weet : well, Dolly Parton is Dolly Fucking Parton. No explanation needed.
Pie : still, no matter how country she gets, I am on board.
Weet : I like a few Garth Brooks songs. I enjoy "Friends in Low Places"
Pie : I like that in a karaoke bar when I am extremely drunk.
Weet : I do like her more with the dark hair, actually.
Pie : she has a weird Botox looking face, though.
she's a butter face, for me, for you, dawg.
Weet : wow, we get full blown BEPs! Oh Megan Joy get the fuck off of my television
Pie : and Megan Joy being annoying! I hear she and Anoop are a couple. that is a rumor.
Weet : Seriously? Anoop could do better. whoa, my AI just blew out. I think there was a censoring.
Pie : I would like to see Adam Lambert now. BRING ME LAMBERT.
Weet : "CUE THE LAMBERRRR" I'm going to take advantage of this boring performance to get my dog some fresh water
Pie : this song does not charm me and there is no Lambert. so whatevs.
Weet : not even the Cirque du Soleil dancers could save that
Pie : "also we have a new album... please buy it!" Randy Redenbacher is into it, anyway,.
Weet : Randy looks like Orville Redenbacher
Pie : more DUMB AWARDS
Weet : ha! jinx!
Pie : also, jinx! here is where Kara pathetically starts singing. Kara can sing, but it's still sad when she gets defensive.
Weet : and it's sad when Paula has to teach you to have some self-respect
10:54 PM Pie : and yet the guys were all drooling over here like GIRL IN BIKINI YES. I was completely on team Kara/Paula. and this girl just makes me sad. this blonde in polka dots. of course bikini girl is going to come back.
Weet : this is one of those situations where I feel bad for people! She's clearly deluded. Oh god, they're bringing out the bikini girl of course. duh.
Pie : of course. there she is. in her bikini. Randy has an erection. nice. and she's got a spray tan and fake tits. this is just demeaning.
Weet : totally, although I enjoyed Ryan's little dig
Pie : also, it is not Adam Lambert. it is in fact the opposite of Adam Lambert. oh god, she cannot sing.
Weet : this is so bad
Pie : but I don't mind if she embarrasses herself because she deserves it and will probably have a sitcom called Shot At Love soon.
Weet : oh, that's sweet! HA!
Pie : and there is Kara! WHO CAN ACTUALLY SING, THANK YOU.
Weet : Kara has just totally redeemed herself for me for ALL SEASON
Pie : I'm glad they didn't Make Kara wear a bikini.
me too.
KARA! I love you all of a sudden!!!!!!
and they turned down bikini girl's mic! ha! oh god
Weet : aw, I totally do too! I hope she keeps her job!
Pie : they did put Kara in a bikini! GROSS.
although she has a hot body.
Weet : wait, she DOES have a bikini! I need a shower
Pie : but that is gross.
Weet : oh, apparently it was for charity … but still. Christ.
Pie : STILL. that was just a blow to feminism. I feel like feminism just died a tiny bit.
Weet : Again, I need a shower.
Pie : Gloria Steinem just rolled over in her grave, and she's not even dead.
Weet : it can be argued that Gloria Steinem was proud of her own body and showed it off, but yes, you're right
Pie : OH MY GOD SO COOL ALLISON AND CYNDI LAUPER!!! Time After Time!!!!!!!! this is so cool
Weet : whoa, Cyndi Lauper, who rocks my fucking world, is playing a goddamned DULCIMER. I love Cyndi Lauper so fucking much. You have no idea.
Pie : and looking awesome. Christ, this is cool.
again, HOW COOL FOR ALLISON?
Weet : this makes up for the Black Eyed Peas and the bikini debacle. also, Allison looks super cute in the vintage prom dress thingy
Pie : I bet it's too much to hope that these duets will be on iTunes
Weet : One would hope, anyway. I would totally buy this.
Pie : Allison seems so comfortable... this is so great. that was straight from Ruley McRulerson of Ruleonia.
Weet : wow, Adam's mom is wearing some kind of cruise ensemble!
Pie : there are Kris's cute parents
Weet : is that Kris' parents?
Pie : Kris's mom, you mean. and yes, that is straight from the Lido deck.
Weet : oh, my bad. aw, I just had a flashback to your booze cruise…that was so awesome
Pie : now they are moving to the Lamberts!
Weet : They split the Lamberrr parents away from the Kris Allen parents! Like maybe they'd rumble during the commercial breaks or something
My boyfriend Danny is singing now!
Pie : and yes. I am trying to talk Ian into going on a cruise this winter through Italy and Greece.
Weet : OH MY GOD, IT's HELLO!!!
Pie : DANNY GOKEY, HELLO, WHICH IS AN AWESOME SONG
Weet : Get out of my wet dreams, Gokey.
Pie : do not fuck this up, Danny
(Ian: "Do you know who he is singing this to?" Weet : "his dead wife." Ian: "always.")
Weet : He's doing a weird denture thing with his mouth
Also, he's wearing a wallet chain
Pie : Danny sounds good. he is not fucking it up. I am okay.
please let Lionel Ritchie come out now.
Weet : it's like a FUCKING SHOUTOUT to Weetabix
Oh, that would be perfection
Pie : with a sculpture in the shape of Danny Gokey's head.
Weet : here it comes.... maybe? FUCK YES
Pie : YEEEEEAHHHH!!!! Carrie Underwood looked put out at having to stand up for Lionel Ritchie. "I am entertainer of the year. I should not be required to rise from my seat."
Weet : I do not know this song, but I don't care. Carrie Underwood wears bitchface like it's couture
Pie : I am happy for you. this is cool. even if I think the wallet chain looks douchey on Gokey. also, LOL. I am in fact still LOL'ing.
Weet : The wallet chain does not deflect the fact that Gokey is wearing a Member's Only jacket
Pie : and enjoying the stars in the background as they sing "One More Night" (I think)
Weet : by the way, has Lionel Ritchie had extensive plastic surgery? He's kind of got Jocelyn Wilderstern cheeks
Pie : hee. Gokey looks so dumb and happy.
Weet : that's how I like my men.
dumb and happy
Pie : oh, this is "All Night Long"
Weet : and wearing a Wallet Chain and Weezer Glasses, please.
Pie : I love Lionel Ritchie. yes yes, you can have Gokey. I bequeath him to you. there is Ruben!
Weet : thank you. I will keep him next to my bed and feed him gummy bears.
Pie : hee! comericals! more wine! or maybe I don't need more wine, given how I just spelled "commercials"
Weet : they are American Commercials? Comericals?
Pie : yes. we owe it all to wine. I have learned something recently: drink the expensive wine. life is short. I am going to implement this new life philosophy, and I have started with the Spy Valley Sav Blanc tonight.
Weet : that's a good slogan. If I don't have heartburn now that I've finished the unoaked Chard, I'm moving onto the Alpha Omega Late Harvest something or other
Pie : mmmmm
Weet : which is, like, crazy expensive for just a little bit of wine
Pie : I love their dessert wine
way bigger scream for Adam!
Weet : me too. I've drunk all of it except for the one really expensive bottle. That is currently calling me. Adam auditioned in San Francisco!!! Why weren't you there!?!?!
Pie : I should have been there... it would have been way easier to nibble his ears back then.
Weet : yes, now there will be an ear nibbling line. You'll have to deal with velvet ropes and shit.
oooh, Kiss
he's singing Beth!
Pie : why is Adam wearing a cage?
Weet : I love this song. It's the only Kiss song that I really like.
Pie : this is a gorgeous song.
but why is Adam wearing a cage? but his voice is so pretty. and he is so pretty.
Weet : Oh I hadn't even looked at what he was wearing. I was typing. He's all Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Maybe that means Gene simmons is coming out?
Full blown KISS? Is it too much to hope for?
Pie : he's gotta be coming out
bring on Ace Frehly!
bring on Peter Criss!
YEEEEESSSSSS
Weet : he's got sequins around his eyes. Do you see that in HD?
YES! KISS ME ADAM!
Pie : I did see the sequins!
this. is. awesome.
Weet : Ok, I'm going to have to make one of those revelations that make you despair for me and lose a little respect. I would totally do Gene Simmons. Even though he's old now, and kind of a tool, according to last season's Celebrity Apprentice.
Pie : yeah, you are completely correct about my reaction.
Weet : but! but! But! the tongue
Pie : no.
Weet : the TONGUE
Pie : NO.
Weet : I'm transfixed. Intrigued, even.
I can't help myself.
Pie : Adam looks awesome in the platform shoes! and Adam has a tongue too.
Weet : Adam's tongue is not freakishly long and also, Adam does not apply his tongue to women.
Pie : Adam is a ROCK STAR.
Weet : GENE SIMMONS
that's the definition of Rock Star, in Websters I believe
Pie : ADAM LAMBERRRR. that fucking ruled.
Weet : He's totally holding his own against KISS, though. He's even wearing the shoes
it's pretty awesome
Pie : and that also ruled. it is continuing to rule.
Weet : even with my freakish Gene Simmons attraction clouding my vision
Adam was like "How high are Simmon's platforms going to be? I want an inch HIGHER."
Pie : I loved that. please let that be on iTunes.
Weet : I'm sure that it will be, along with Cookie's charity performance
Pie : oh, you're funny.
commerrrrrrricals.
Weet : Ooooooh! Harry Potter commercial!
I'm a little scared.
That commercial was slightly freaky.
11:25 PM Pie : this Walmart commercial that was just on? I don't know if you saw it. Ian calls it "the white people commercial."
Weet : that's what I'm viewing. With the girl in the tragic yellow striped button down and weirdly flouncy jean skirt. Also, did I mention? I forgot to record Glee. and now this commercial is mocking me for not having recorded it. ooh, you can watch the episode on Fox.com! thank you for answering my prayers, Fox! Now please show me Danny Gokey's penis. Thank you.
Pie : oh dear god…. now!......SANTANA
Weet : CARLOS SANTANA! who is apparently going to be playing in Vegas for the next two years.
Pie : well that seems like a good way to make some cash
Weet : he's played a wedding before. At least one.
My friend Joel went to a wedding in SF, actually, and Santana was the reception band.
11:28 PM one of those Dot Com millionaire types.
Pie : and there is "Matt"
Weet : oh, that's right. I had forgotten about him and his Timberfake.
Pie : I would say I hate those dot com millionaires, but I know one, and he is great. so I do not hate them. ADAM LAMBERR IS BACK!
Weet : Oh Kris, you've never looked so white as when you try to dance
I mean, you know it's bad when Danny Gokey out-souls you
Pie : this is a great song for a medley
there are Adam and Allison! cute.
Weet : they mad Megan Joy be the Scott-wrangler for this song
I wonder if they cut out her mic for most of the medleys
Pie : who is that chubby dude next to Adam? I seriously have no idea who that is.
Weet : Heather Locklear in the audience!
I think that was Michael from Texas or whatever
Pie : who?
heh
Weet : also, Camryn Manheim was in the audience!
along with Mandisa!
Pie : he is one of the white guys... too many of them. so confusing.
wow, FORD VIDEO
Weet : maybe they're dating now! Ha! jinx
Pie : hee. Camryn is at many of the shows, I understand. she's a huge fan. what jinx?
Weet : no, not a jinx. I jinxed my own self. too much wine.
Pie : oh dear
Weet : I will not be opening my expensive dessert wine, since I clearly have no concept of anything anymore… aw, they get a car! Fusions!
Pie : OMG they won cars! go, Kris and Adam!
Weet : Adam's "Quite the vehicle" was so cheesy
Pie : this is embarrassing. "thank you Ford. this is beautiful. what a car."
Weet : It WAS Steve Martin!!!
Pie : STEVE MARTIN!!!!
Weet : with Megan FUCKING JOY!
Pie : with Megan and Michael? THEY DO NOT DESERVE HIM.
Weet : Maybe Steve Martin wants to fuck her.
Pie : Megan looks stunning though
Weet : I hear he's quite the dog.
Pie : oh really? he is married to a New Yorker editor
Weet : at the moment, perhaps
Pie : Ian re: Megan: "does she have a fake arm?"
Weet : ha! I just literally LOL'd!
Pie : hee.
Weet : If I didn't know better I'd think that she were a ventriloquist dummy for Steve Martin
Pie : I literally LOLd earlier when I said LOL. I do not use LOL anything other than literally.
Weet : he's not moving his lips!
Pie : hee!
Steve Martin has an album of banjo music.
Weet : I actually never use LOL except on weetapidol. I use "hee"
Pie : I liked that song.
Weet : Seriously? I had no idea.
Pie : it's true!
Weet : Steve Martin is so multi-faceted!
that's just crazy
Pie : I love him.
Weet : I do too. I've actually been in love with him since I was seven. True story.
Pie : I love him a lot, but my from-the-age-of-seven love was John Ritter. so I cannot compete.
Weet : Now, either I'm drunk, or there's some kind of hamster-based action movie trailer on.
Pie : no, it is. they might be guinea pigs though.
Weet : I'm glad to hear that I'm not actually hallucinating.
Pie : no. I kind of wish we were, but no.
Weet : it's like a trailer as conceived by The Onion
Tracey Morgan isn't making enough money on 30 Rock, apparently, that now it seems like a good idea to voice a hamster.
Oh my god, "do you think I'm sexy"?!
Pie : is that what this is?
Weet : oh, no, "If you think I'm sexy"
does that mean Rod Stewart is going to haul his decrepit body onto the stage?
does he have an album that he's pimping right now?
Pie : ugh
Text from Annie: "how does the blind guy dance?"
mmm.. not with his eyes?
Weet : I loathe Rod Stewart. I don't mind the old stuff, like this, but man, anything past 1984 is just gutwrenching"
damn, I was sadly right
Pie : Rod Stewart and Randy probably have the same backet
Weet : here he comes, in a suit coat selected by Randy Jackson
ha!
Pie : jacket
Weet : jinx!
it wasn't just the wine!
Pie : OMG JINX AGAIN!
is this almost over? christ. rod stewart?
Weet : I'm surfing craigslist for undervalued mid-century antiques
Pie : I don't understand that sentence, but I just went to get more angel food cake.
there is Bo Bice in the audience, singing along.
Weet : which sentence? That I'm surfing Craiglist for mid-century stuff?
Pie : yes
Weet : Poor Bo Bice. He's become irrelevant in four short years.
this is SOOOO LONG
of course, he has a new album
and then, more filler with the Golden Idol thing
Pie : ugh
STUPID AWARD
this just hurts me on the inside.
these poor people.
Weet : every time they do this, it sucks all the joy of the finale, the Cyndi Lauper stuff, the Steve Martin stuff, it undoes all of that
Pie : Tatiana, I've heard of her... I am sure she will be the "winner"
yes, exactly. this could be so positive and awesome without this.
Weet : you called it, it's Tatiana
Pie : again, it seems like she's in on the joke, doing this bit
Weet : I'm sure that she is, but it's still painful
Pie : yeah. I like to pretend this entire aspect of the show does not exist. because Adam Lambert is a force for good and happiness.
Weet : I will pretend
Pie : I like to believe he is the point of the show.
Weet : is it just me or does this finale seem, like, four million hours long?
all of this stupid filler?
like, I'd rather hear Adam and Kris (yes KRIS) sing another song than have these stupid award things
Pie : yeah, it's definitely four million hours long.
Ian is asleep, in fact, I think.
Weet : Ian is smart.
Pie : wait, there are Adam and Kris! are they going to sing!?!?
Weet : Oooh, they're singing Queen!
Pie : YES. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!
Weet : I LOVE QUEEN!
Pie : I am happy!!!!!
Weet : So very much! As has been well documented on Weetapidol
I am officially so tipsy that I'm making effusive typos at this point.
"tipsy" was "typsy"
Pie : THIS IS VERY SWEAOMSME.
um.
more dry ice!
Weet : I no longer feel the need to apologize for "typsy"
there is a lot of things happening. On the stage.
Pie : yeah, "sweamosme" kind of wins.
Weet : Also, I think that's Queen. Actual Queen.
Pie : yeah I think you are right.
ADAM!!!!!
Weet : oh look, there it is on the drum.
Pie : ADAM LAMBERRRRRR IS AWESOME AND THIS IS AWESOME OKAY.
and there was just a little Kradam moment.
Weet : You know what would be cool now? Is if a rising platform lifted Adam out of the dry ice smoke, straight into the heavens!
Pie : hee!!!!
like in Cats!
also, I LOL'd.
Weet : Kara and Paula are having a moment
yes, like in Cats!
and then a trapdoor opened on the stage (like in Phantom) and sucked Kris in
Pie : fuck, I am having a moment!!!
Weet : whoosh!
there are a lot of sparklies
it's like we're in Vegas right now!
and then a fucking commercial
also, Ford? What the fuck kind of slogan is "Drive one."
Pie : Ian wants to see Queen because he slept through it
he claims it is my fault he slept through it, and I should rewind
Weet : It's like Coca-Cola: Drink it. Citicard Visa: Get one.
Pie : hee!
you should work in advertising.
Weet : I totes should
Weetapidol: Read us.
Pie : hee!
Weet : ok, I do kind of want to see Funny People, but mostly because I've got a weakness for Seth Rogen
even though he lost weight to play the Green Lantern.
Again with my types.
Pie : yeah
Weet : Do you think Tom Collichio dies for having to shill Diet Coke?
Pie : heh. he probably dries his tears with fifty dollar bills.
RESULTS, finally
Weet : FINALLY
Pie : Simon is saying nice things that I think are very deserved
Weet : who cares what Simon thinks? his opinion is irrelevant at this point!
America has decided!
Oooh, he's British, so naturally we should trust him.
Pie : OMG what will happen!
hee. I am spoiled so I already know.
Weet : Like you aren't totally spoiled by fucking Twitter
If Kris wins...
fuck
Pie : KRIS WINS!
and they hug
MAKE OUT! MAKE OUt!
Weet : I was about to say, "If Kris wins, I will completely lose my respect for the charade that is American Idol"
seriously. KRIS FUCKING ALLEN?
CHAGRIN!
Anger!
Hating America!
Pie : yeah, I do like Kris a lot, but I think this is going to ultimately make America look stupid
Kris: "Adam deserves this." Aw, Kris.
Weet : Kris says that Adam deserved it!
Pie : bromance!
Weet : Kris is being sweet. Aw, Kris. You won because America isn't ready for weirdness.
And also, Danny's voters went Kris rather than Adam.
poor Adam. He deserved the win.
man.
that sucks.
Pie : Ian made me rewind to look at Simon's face. Simon = not happy.
at least Adam isn't forced to sing this awful song again.
Weet : I'll bet that if you looked at iTunes sales, Adam kicks Kris' ass.
that's true.
Aw, he's being consoled by Allison.
Pie : I think both of these guys will be mega successess.
Weet : I think that about at least one of them~
that should have been an exclamation point!
Pie : okay, Kris will be a middling success... but Adam is a superstar already.
Weet : so much for the demographic theory. Two white guys in a row!
Pie : I will buy 87 copies of his album. and maybe he will have more creative freedom than Kris.
Weet : 87? Why not 88?
Pie : here are Alan's thoughts: http://www.nj.com/entertainment/tv/index.ssf/2009/05/kris_allen_wins_american_idol.html
Weet : Actually, I'm sure that he will. That's a definite plus.
Pie : okay Kris and Adam, MAKE OUT! I saw an Entertainment Tonight video with Adam randomly kissing Kris on the forehead. It was incredibly cute.
Weet : oooh! and a million Kradam fanfics were launched. Interesting commentary from Alan
Pie : yeah, worth checking out. well, I hope it wasn't a homophobia thing.. I'm inclined to think it was more a backlash because Adam was so overpimped
Weet : perhaps. Like "Oh, you want us to vote for Adam? Well, we won't be bullied, AI!"
Pie : and Kris made a good underdog
Weet : and also, tween America thinks Kris is cuuuuute
Pie : I have rewound and am watching Queen again. Queen is one of Ian's favorite bands so he is identifying all the original members, etc.
now that he is awake.
Weet : I know that the religious right really were offended by Adam. I actually got into it on Twitter with someone who called Adam a freak.
Pie : good for you!
this is so great, even the second time. what a great idea for a Kradam duet.
Weet : well, it was bullshit. This guy fronts like he's all into tolerance and whatnot, but he's a big fundie Republican and incidentally, didn't respond to my calling him out for his "Co-Exist" bumper sticker.
Pie : anyway, final thoughts: I love Adam Lambert, and he will be awesome and take over the world. but I am happy for Kris.
Weet : I am not happy for Kris, because he will always feel like he got Adam's title and will Ruben and Taylor his way into mediocrity, but Adam will perservere, I hope. It's been a very provocative season. I'm kind of amazed that it managed to be provocative until the end. Well played, American Idol, well played. and with that, I must go to bed
Pie : and congrats to Wendi, who I believe just won our pool!
Weet : Weetpidol out! Indeed! Wendi wins!
Pie : Thanks for joining us for season eight, everyone!
WEETAPIDITUL! OUT!
Weet : Congratulations to everyone! Final pool totals to be posted tomorrow!
Pie : you say that as if this is going up tonight. I am going to bed too.
Weet : what the hell is Weetapiditul?
ok, good night Mopie and Ian!
Pie : whatever we are right now is Weetapiditul.
Weet : Weetapiditul outitul.

Top 2: The Cock and the Schlock

2009-05-19T19:28:00.001-07:00

Pie: I am here!
Weetabix: hi schmoopie
Pie: hi hi hi
Weetabix: ok! we are t-minus a minute!
Pie: I am paused on excited looking girl crowd, by the way... some girl in pink pointing to herself
Weetabix: woo girls?
Pie: they did say woo... they did indeed "woo"
Weetabix: Adam looks cuter without make up I have to say
Pie: THERE IS ADAM LAMBERRRR!
Weetabix: I like Adam a little gritty
Pie: THERE IS KRIS! I also enjoy Kris.
Weetabix: I am not so much with Kris... mostly because he's causing me to tank the pool
Pie: their little friendship is so cute
Weetabix: their bromance?
Pie: their AWESOME BROMANCE
Weetabix: I sneer at their bromance! I think Kris is riding Adam's coattails!
Pie: no, they are so cute!!! Kradam 4eva!
I have to say Adam says "I am the next American Idol" with way more conviction than Kris
Weetabix: I love how Ryan is trying to pretend like this is a demographic opposite pairing
"the guy next door versus the guyliner"
Pie: "Conway vs. California" as if "Conway" is a state
Weetabix: the white guy versus the WHITE GUY!
Pie: hee! one of the many white guys vs. ANOTHER ONE OF THEM!
Weetabix: Simon looks very chest-hair-licious... which is not a word, but still
Pie: Ian keeps rolling his eyes at everything Ryan says
Weetabix: Adam's wearing some kind of metallic chain fall?
Pie: I love you, Adam Lamberrrrrr!
Weetabix: I love that I can fit this entire bottle of wine into my wine glass
I'm drinking Bonny Doon's Viognier Doux tonight, which pairs well with my Double Stuff'd Oreos
Pie: I love that I can fit Adam's entire.... um... into my... I mean....
Weetabix: and you were chastising me for my PG-13 texts regarding Mr. Gokey?
Pie: I want Oreos a lot! but I am drinking Sauvignon Blanc that was in my fridge.
Weetabix: and also, I think he's a grower, not a shower
Pie: um, "I want to sit on his face" is not exactly PG-13
Weetabix: I don't remember saying that!
I remember talking about his peen. That was about it.
Pie: oh you said that. I will go to the tape if I have to.
Weetabix: GO TO THE TAPE! I demand veracity
Pie: which one is a grower? because Adam is a shower, I have proof of that too.
Weetabix: I want the proof! PROOF! is he on full frontal friday?
Pie: http://idolforums.com/index.php?showtopic=594603&st=3840&p=19909002&#entry19909002
Weetabix: Um, that is SO stuffed. but still, nice ass.
Pie: whatever, I love him.
Weetabix: I don't think your love should be predicated on the size of his organ. You should love the man, not the unit.
Pie: oh, shit. I got married for the completely wrong reasons, didn't I?
Weetabix: that happens to the best of us, honey

Weetabix: anyway, back to the supposed Gokey tapes, I found out just last night from Mr. Jake that apparently Gokey is a WIDOWER!
So now I kind of doubly want to have PG-13 time with him
Pie: how did you JUST NOW discover this?!?
Weetabix: I don't know, I live in a box, apparently

ADAM LAMBERT, “Mad World”
Weetabix: onto mr lamberrrr
he is repeating Mad World!
Pie: Mad World reprise!
Weetabix: yay!
Pie: I love the dry ice!
Weetabix: I really loved this performance the first time... I downloaded that shit off of the iTunes, doncha know
Pie: and the turned up collar is hot.
DRY ICE. fake moon in the background! this is smart because it got cut off the first time, and maybe some people did not see it
he looks so BROODY AND INTENSE.... also, DRY ICE
Weetabix: Yes, he's broody and sensitive. It's my crack. Also, dry ice is the new Chris Lights.
Pie: Ian is impressed that "he knows when to physically not emote"
Pie: I wish they weren't doing reprises for the finale, but if they had to, that was perfect
Weetabix: agreed. But again, I really just love the song. A lot. And his version is amazing.
Pie: Anthony Hopkins? looking all teary eyed for Adam? um, surreal.
Weetabix: Awwwww... there was my Gokey, in the audience, wearing his glasses and a white t-shirt. It's like he's CALLING to me.
I think I'd do Gokey over Daughtry, actually.
Pie: I don't even know you, man.
Weetabix: I'm sorry, I have a TYPE ok? I can't help myself.
MFK: Lamberr, Ace Young or Daughtry.
Pie: easy! K Ace, F Daughtry, M Lamberrr, no contest
Weetabix: Really? Kill Ace? It's like you've grown as a person since we started Weetapidoling!
Pie: Daughtry seems hot but kind of like an asshole.... but hot! and Lamberr is gay, so.... would be my gay best friend husband.
Ian wants to know if we can call and vote for Adam yet. I think I know who he's picking for his MFK.

KRIS ALLEN, “AIN'T NO SUNSHINE”
Pie: I love this peformance of Kris's also
Weetabix: I'm sorry, Kris, even with the Dan Humphrey outfit, you're still doing NOTHING for me.
Pie: he sounds great though. I love both of these guys... little Castrochuleta. who would have thought we would be here today?
Weetabix: Certainly not me. I predicted that he would get 11th place in the pool!
Pie: what did the Hive Mind predict?
Weetabix: that blonde chick and Adam as a finale
that blonde chick with the pink in her hair? I can't remember her name. How sad is that.
Pie: Alexis!
Weetabix: Alexis, yes. Comparing the two reprises, Kris' version pales against Adam's.

Pie: but I meant where did the Hive Mind predict Kris would land?
Weetabix: huh, let me check
Weetapidol Hive Mind agreed with me: 11th place
Which proves it: Kris Allen signed a pact with the devil to win our hearts.
Pie: Paula looks so weird and tan... and weird... like Lindsay Lohan's crazy drunk tan aunt
Weetabix: I think it's so cute that the judges are pretending as though Kris has a shot with this competition.
Pie: he does, you know.... he is ahead on Dial Idol
Weetabix: really?! that's insanity
Simon just called it for Kris! eeek
Pie: Simon just called round one for Kris? that's crazy. it was totally a tie.
Ian says "I don't even know that guy's name, and it was good."
Weetabix: Not even a chance: Lamberr for the win

Weetabix: commercials... Oreo
Pie: GIVE ME AN OREO
Weetabix: paused with Ryan in audience, Live and PG/DL logos
Pie: I am paused with no Oreo. technology, you have failed me.
Weetabix: by the way, I think my Finale invitation was lost in the mail. I'm very upset about that, Idol producers.
Pie: mine was also misplaced... probably because we moved. I bet they sent the finale helicopter to our old apartment.
Weetabix: there are various handsome people in the audience
but no one I recognize

ADAM LAMBERT, “CHANGE IS GONNA COME”
Weetabix: Adam, wearing a suit with a poorly chosen tie
Pie: not as poorly chosen as Randy's (she says, without even looking)
this is such a cool song choice
Weetabix: it's a push for him, I think
I don't know that I like it
Pie: this is by Sam Cooke. I definitely like it. it's all mellow and cool.
he's building to a loud part! go Adam go!
Weetabix: by the way, Jake is calling Adam my "gay Vampire Lestat boyfriend"
Pie: he is my sparklepire. you can have Danny Gokey.
Weetabix: I will happily make that trade, madam.
Pie: I love this song because of the secret hidden meaning of GAY POWER.
Weetabix: one only hopes
Pie: oh, I wish that tie did not have a pattern on it.
Weetabix: if I take that meaning, then I enjoy it more. OVERTURN PROP 8, PEOPLE!
oh my god, Randy's tie is going to give people seizures.
Pie: but seriously, look at Randy's whole fucking outfit. stripes AND dots AND plaid.
they loved him! I loved him. that ruled.
Weetabix: Scott MacIntyre is in the audience. He doesn't realize how lucky he is to not see Randy's tie.
Pie: hahahaha
Weetabix: Paula had a mini spaz out. It was like a Bring it On moment for a second.
Pie: and Adam is Sparkle Motion. oh wait, wrong movie.
Weetabix: which movie is that? I want to watch THAT movie!
Pie: ADAM LAMBERRR! YOU WERE AWE TO THE SOME.
Weetabix: Seriously, Simon's button down is unbuttoned TO HIS NAVEL
I always thought that was a guido joke, but it is seriously unbuttoned FIVE TIMES
Pie: Ian wants to know why I did not get a phone with an east coast number so we could vote for Adam. Ian has a mancrush.
Weetabix: you need certain numbers to vote? that's just crazy talk.
Pie: Ian only approves of Kris Allen if he is going to become Adam's gay lover
I just told him there was Kradam fanfic
Weetabix: there is? You MUST LINK THE KRADAM FANFIC!!!
You can't show me a picture of his stuffed spandex and NOT link the Kradam fanfic
Pie: he just said... I swear this is a direct quote... "is the fanfic like, 'hey, get your dick out of my mouth so I can sing!'"
Weetabix: HA! Reader, I lol'd
Pie: I have not read the Kradam fanfic. I have not sought it out. Just the cute pictures of Adam and Kris and their bromantic nail polish.
Weetabix: Kara looks pissy tonight. Like she knows it's her second to last day of work.
Pie: hee!
Adam "came back strong" as if he was not awesome in "Mad World"

KRIS ALLEN, “What's Going On”
Pie: this is a great song
Weetabix: did he just forget the words?
Pie: I didn't notice Ian says "F! he's out! wrong tone!" I'm sorry your man-lover is not singing, Ian.
Weetabix: he's totally off key
Pie: yeah, this is not terrible, but nowhere in Adam's league
Weetabix: No, it's Top 13 league, not Top 2... not even bongos on the stage can save this
Pie: here is a whole Kradam livejournal: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/
which I went and looked up instead of listening to Kris
Weetabix: I kind of love that Simon Fuller gave them the same genre of music, so it was a stretch for both of them
Pie: that is an excellent point
and here is a porn Kradam fic: http://dark-orion.livejournal.com/31289.html#cutid1
Weetabix: excellent... something for apres-finale

ADAM AND KRIS, “Kara's Shitty Coronation Song”

Weetabix: paused with Adam sitting with the Also Rans (and also Gokey)
ha! Scott isn't looking into the camera, but rather, 50 degrees to the left
Pie: well how does he know! it's not as if the camera chirps.
Weetabix: Someone points his head in the right direction, maybe?
Pie: Hmm.
Weetabix: Kara wrote this. I hope it doesn't suck.
What else has Kara written? Anything of note?
Pie: She wrote "Pieces of Me"!!! by Ashlee Simpson!!!
Weetabix: really? I like that song on Karaoke Revolution! When you sing it!
Pie: Adam in a sexy black outfit.
Weetabix: it's got a beaded situation
Pie: it does have a beaded situation... there is no other way to describe that situation
Weetabix: Also, are those snakeskin jeans? With a double wallet chain?
The song doesn't fit Adam's voice at all.
Pie: Ian says this is the worst song he's ever heard. but he has not heard "Inside Your Heaven"
no, this song does not suit Adam's voice, and in fact kind of sucks. it's no "Pieces of Me"
Weetabix: nothing is, Mopie. Nothing is
it's too inspirational. It needs to be angsty and full of weltschmerz
Pie: weltschmertz! check out the German!
Weetabix: I iz bilingual!
ich bin! ich bin!
ich hast keine wine. Ach.
Pie: hee!
I am trying to figure out how to write a sentence that uses both "schadenfreude" and "zeitgeist" but it isn't happening
Weetabix: you can do it, Mopie!
Pie: how are the judges going to avoid saying that song sucks?
"so that performance... was good... but the song..."
ha! Randy went for: "you can sing anything"
Weetabix: Randy is all "you're a good singer! The song... you were pitchy!"
Pie: Kara is namedropping the people who wrote that terrible song!
Weetabix: Kara's making it all about her!!! Wow. That was classy with a K, as Jake would say.
Pie: Paula and her adjectives. I love you, Paula. Paula is also breaking out "you can sing whatever! even that piece of poo!"
Weetabix: The piece of poo right there! With the fly on it! You're wearing a shirt!
Pie: And now Simon is mocking the song! god bless you, Simon. Simon is just like, fuck it, I will talk about Adam the Phenomenon, not Kara's Crappy Song.
Weetabix: Does Adam have his ears pegged? Or is that just a really big earring?
Pie: I don't know about Adam's ears. one day, in a bar in West Hollywood, I will nibble on them. and I will let you know.
Weetabix: I'm sure they will taste like candied apricots... sexy apricots, of course
Pie: aww yeeeah
Simon believes in Adam with all his heart. I didn't even know Simon had a heart!
Weetabix: Maybe he's saving the crappy song commentary for Kris.
I have to say, having seen Adam's three songs, there was nothing amazing here for a finale.
Pie: but.. ADAM LAMBERRR!!!
I thought the first two songs were amazing.
Weetabix: It's not his fault. He only picked one of the three songs, but still.
I thought the second song was forgettable.
Pie: Kitsch! Wanderlust! Volkswagen!
(I am still working on the Deutch.)
Weetabix: Sucks to be Kris, though, to have to basically resing the crappy song that Adam probably just sang better. Gesundheit!
Pie: hee!

Pie: I feel that during this show we have really seen Kris and Adam coming of age as artists. AI season 8 was a bildungsroman, as it were.
I DID IT! GERMAN!
Weetabix: NICE! Well played!
Pie: except that's the wrong word. kunstlerroman, I meant!
Weetabix: We'll edit it in post.
Pie: heh. Now Kris Allen, singing the shitty song! this song is more suited to Kris's voice, I think
Weetabix: the song is a cliché... it fits Kris' non-exceptional voice better
jinx... although my comment was meaner
Pie: Ian says "his schlock fits the schlock of the song"
we all said it at the same time
Kris is all into it. aw, Kris, you are so sweet.
Weetabix: whereas there wasn't enough room for Adam's cock in the schlock
Pie: well played!
Weetabix: I try
Pie: The Cock and the Schlock is the name of my forthcoming Kradam fanfic
Weetabix: Actually, I think Kris may have a chance based on this performance... it was written for his voice
it's kind of like when Kelly won in the first season. A Moment Like This just sounded better when she sang it.
Pie: yeah, whatever song they foisted on Blake and Jordin sounded better when Jordin sang it
has Kris always had that sad little proto-mustache?
Weetabix: It's probably taken 13 weeks to appear, slowly. or maybe that's the ring left by Adam's eyeliner?
Pie: Is there Kradam fic about Kris sucking on Adam's eye?
Weetabix: Kara's pretty. I think I'm drunky. A little bit.

PREDICTIONS
Pie: well Kris and Adam were both great but.. GO ADAM LAMBERRR!
Weetabix: agreed! so, prediction?
Dial Idol is UNAVAILABLE!!!!
Pie: aw, Kris and Adam are not competing, they are just going to give a good show!
Weetabix: oh, there it is
Pie: Ian: "I know how they can give a good show."
Weetabix: a donkey show! sorry, I always go too far
Pie: my husband is gay for Adam.
Weetabix: well, who ISN'T gay for Adam?
Pie: an excellent point
Weetabix: If he vamped up, I'd strap one on for that shit.
I think we should be worried about our boy, though.
Pie: I think the finale was great. if I had to put money on it... I would bet.... on....mmm.. I don't know
we are going to vote over here
Weetabix: The Kara song was better when Kris sang it, and the middle song of Kris' was bashed, so his tween voters may be rushing to his defense.
Pie: we are going to vote it up
Weetabix: Also, Dial Idol has Kris at a 1.5 pt lead. Ouch.
Also, you couldn't squeeze a prayer between Adam and his jeans. DAYAM!
awwww... they both told people to vote for each other
and now we're subjected to Carrie Underwood
Pie: busy phone lines
Weetabix: blegh
Pie: we are hoping they will tongue kiss on stage after one of them wins
Weetabix: they will, Mopie. In Ian's dreams.
Pie: wait, where did Carrie Underwood come from? with her glittery microphone?
Weetabix: I am without answers for that one. Maybe they have a giant glittery microphone spotlight that they shine into the nightskies of LA and then Carrie Underwood races to them, to answer their need of a sign out performance.
Pie: hee!!!
oh, my prediction is, I really have no idea
Weetabix: I am predicting... Danny Gokey!
Pie: Adam seems inevitable, but intellectually I think Kris has a shot, and I think they both were great tonight.
Weetabix: Because obviously, whatever I predict will be wrong, and I don't want to predict Adam for that reason. I believe we did this when Lakisha was in danger as well.
Pie: Carrie Underwood sounds kind of bad, I have to say. her voice sounds a little thrashed.
vote Adam! you are voting, right? vote!
Weetabix: Carrie Underwood would have been screwed if Adam had been in her season!
I've never voted! I can't break the streak now! That's my impartiality for the live blog!
Pie: but... but... but....! I had no idea you were striving for impartiality!
Weetabix: I'm the mean one! I can't pick sides (except that yeah, I probably should punish Kris for fucking me in the pool)
I am always trying to toe the moral line, Mopie.
and live a just life, whether it be in my day to day or in my live blogging.
Or maybe I should just go vote for Adam and watch reruns of Kung Fu.
Weetapidol out!!
Pie: hee. WEETAPIDOL OUT! also Fed Ex me an Oreo, please.
Weetabix: done

Top 3 Pool Results

2009-05-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

No Weetapidol update last week, due to various difficulties, both scheduling, technical and otherwise. We're very sorry, but we're also promising to save up all the funny for the finale. Until then, let's get an update on the Pool Standings. Amazingly, the Hive Mind is tied for first place with Wendi, Kim and Aine with Mopie and Kelly S just three points away in second! It's anyone's game, people!

Weetapidol 124
Wendi 124
Kim 124
Aine 124
Mopie 121
Kelly S 121
Shari H 119
Gila 118
Eden 117
Jeremy 116
TeKay 116
Martha 115
Shmuel 113
Julie 90
Weet 86

PS. I think the real reason I dislike Castrochuleta is because I had him going 11th and the bastard lasted until the finale. CURSE YOU KRIS ALLEN!

Top 4: "if any of the above happens, take a sip of penis"

2009-05-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

Pie : have you heard the latest Idol news this week? Constantine got nominated for an effing Tony Award... and sadly, David Cook's brother passed away.
Weet : I hadn't heard either of those things. Constantine got a Tony nomination from WHAT exactly? his sad little stint on Rent?
Pie : for starring in a musical called Rock of Ages, apparently
Weet : interesting and also, he has a penis face
Pie : read and weep... he sure does. if there was a Best Penis Face Tony, he would completely win. Also the Idol stage collapsed or something during dress rehearsal.
Weet : OOH! and also, the Captain is popping my wine for me (not a euphamism)
Pie : David Cook is a class act. so, that's sad. and Debbie the stage manager was injured tonight. which is also sad. but life, and wine, must go on.
also, that's what she said.
Weet : he popped the wrong one for me, so then I made him go back and pop a better one. Now I officially have ALL THE WINE
Pie : I am doing shots of Yager and Goldschlager, as always!
Weet : as ever
Pie : or, alternatively, I am drinking tea. pick whichever one sounds more fun.
SHOT! I'm not sure what the drinking game is here. I think there should be more complicated rules than me typing SHOT!
Weet : um, whenever the stage collapses, do a shot!
Pie : whenever Adam Lambert is awesome or Gokey looks smug, do a shot!
Weet : whenever you see Dunkleman the kerchief, take a drink. If you see Dunkleman the Person, drink entire bottle.
Pie : if Paula makes sense, two shots!
Weet : If Simon has erect nipples, take a drink.
Pie : if Randy says "for you" or "for me" or "Dawg," take a shot.
Weet : What's with this shot thing? Whole shots? People won't make it beyond the first singer.
Pie : if you can see Slash's eyes, chug. "shot" is a metaphor.
Weet : for penis?
Pie : yes. if any of the above happens, take a sip of penis.
Weet : reader, I lol'd
Pie : hee! so tonight's theme is allegedly Classic Rock and the mentor is Slash.
Weet : For the record, aside from Journey, I fucking loathe classic rock. it is because from the years of 1990 until 1999, I listened to classic rock almost exclusively because it was the only thing I could bear to listen to on the local radio
Pie : I like individual songs... we'll see how this goes.
Weet : and the radio only played the same 200 songs. I pretty much listened to my lifetime's allotment of Boston over the course of two years
Pie : I still don't know the difference between Boston and Chicago. those are both bands, right?
Weet : they are, and also, cities
Pie : I also used to get them confused with Foreigner and Journey.
you could make a sentence out of those band names.
Weet : Boston talks about Amanda, Chicago is... well, awful
Pie : a Foreigner took a Journey from Chicago to Boston...
no wonder I was confused.
Weet : The 70s were a confusing time for all of us
Pie : What Not To Sing (an awesome Idol statistics site) says this is the best top four, statistically speaking, in Idol history
Weet : I'm going to preemptively pee before Weetapidoling
Pie : even though Danny Gokey is pulling down the average with his smugness
okay! show starts in two minutes! if you are not back, I will pause.
Pie : I am paused on the opening shot of three contestants, minus Kris, and I am hoping this isn't a subliminal message.
Weet : ok, I'm queuing it up
Pie : I would be sad to lose Kris or Allison. if we lost Adam... I would turn into one of the crazies.
Gokey is making a smug face immediately! DRINK.
Weet : who would... what exactly?
Pie : I don't know. I would... be angry!
but in a crazy way. oh, this is a recap of last week. they are showing the Adam Moment of Despair.
Weet : Poor Adam, but a little humility is a good thing, I think
Pie : Dunkelman in the pocket. drink!
Weet : lest he have the Daughtry! suprise
Pie : I can't believe I remember the drinking rules after all these shots.
Daughtry! is performing tomorrow night for sure.
this time I mean it.
Weet : I must be drunk, as I wanted to respond ala Princess Bride with "does anyone want a peanut?"
Pie : the judges' chairs look comfortable.
and now they are showing the stage collapse thing!
Weet : they look like bad office chairs
interesting!
maybe their dress-rehearsal-less performance will make them feel more shiny and new?
Pie : no runthrough will benefit the more seasoned performers. I'm not sure who qualifies, other than Adam.
Weet : and also, oooh, duets!
Pie : duets tonight!
Weet : why is it a big week for Paula?
Pie : this is because they can't fit in 8 songs like normal. they are incapable of fitting in songs this season. still, this could be cool.
Weet : Because she is in rehab?
Pie : I don't know, she talked about rehab...
rehab jinx!
Weet : I'm excited about the duets, though. They've never done that at this point in the game
Pie : Adam looks hot. H-O-T.
Weet : Allison looks cute
and yes, Adam looks like a super hero of rock
Pie : Adam. hot. sentences. no. forming them. hot.
Weet : I don't know about Slash. I probably couldn't pick out a Slash riff if my life depended upon it.
Pie : I have never heard Slash say anything, so this could be interesting.
Weet : I've heard him talking about what a foodie he is
which I love
Pie : I don't think I could pick out a Slash riff. either unless it was from one of the classic Appetite for Destruction songs.
Adam, please do "Sweet Child O' Mine"! I would die.
Weet : that's not classic rock, dear
Pie : I cannot see Slash's eyes. so cannot drink.
I heard they were defining "classic rock" as 70s and 80s.
in which case it would qualify!
Weet : Slash is like that one muppet. He's such a stereotype!
true dat, but I seriously am offended that they're calling 80's music "classic rock"
to me, mid-70's is the latest possible time that you could possibly be "classic"
anything that was fresh on MTV cannot be a "classic"
Pie : well at some point Death Cab for Cutie will qualify as "oldies"
Weet : noooooooooooooooooooooo

ADAM LAMBERT, "A Whole Lotta Love" (That's What She Said)

Weet : it's the squeeze my lemon song
Pie : ROCK IT OUT, ADAM! YOU ARE HOT!
I don't know this song. but it certainly is rock and roll, baby!
Weet : it's from probably before you were born
originally sung by Robert Plant, who is a rock god
Pie : Ian thinks he needs to be "more physically crazy" like Led Zeppelin
I think he is perfect and awesome
Weet : I think it would help if he were tripping out on acid. That's the thing about rock, you have to almost be a little imperfect vocally for it to work.
Pie : he totally just did the Elvis lip thing!
god, he is such a star. for serious.
Weet : for instance, at Weetacon, I sang "Me and Bobbie McGee" because my voice was destroyed, and it brought down the house. Because my voice was destroyed.
Pie : I literally can't remember an Idol contestant with more confidence. he's like what the Idols are when they leave and become famous and come back.
Weet : That's a good analysis. They should take more people off of Broadway, instead of acting like it's a stigma.
I liked Adam's performance, but it's not my favorite.
Also, Kara just spazzed out to the point that I felt uncomfortable for her.
Pie : heh. she sure did. but she was very specific, which I enjoyed.
Simon also loved it! YES.
hee. "the problem is, nobody can top that now."
DAMN SKIPPY.
Weet : I find it strange that Adam (or the AI makeup people) line the inside of Adam's eye. When I do that, the eyeliner just melts away. Maybe my eyes water way too much.
yes, that was pretty succinct. No, Adam will top it during his duet.
Pie : maybe he has special guyliner that does not run. or is applied by unicorns, because Adam is MAGICAL.
Weet : yes, it is applied by unicorn horn

ALLISON IRAHETA, "Cry Baby"

Pie : hee. five minutes later and I am stil laughing about Adam's eyeliner being applied by unicorn horn. I am just giddy. Adam makes me giddy.
wow, Allison looks cool!
Weet : She's very cute
Adam's got a hair girl!
Pie : love the hair
of course he has a hair girl.... and I do love Adam's and Allison's hair!
Weet : I love that she's excited about her big brother date with Adam
Pie : and they are dueting later! that is going to rule.
so this is "Crybaby"
Weet : wow, she just gave me chills, in the montage
Pie : yeah, that was kickass.
Weet : She's got an amazing voice, but her stage presence is still that of a 17 year old girl for me
Pie : I think she's got a lot of confidence... I don't know, I think she's pulling it off, for me, dawg.
Weet : she can't honestly be sexy, because she feels weird about it, and always breaks into a smile
Pie : her lipstick color is awesome. she just looks great.
and she sounds great. I am impressed with her and rooting for her in the final two!
Weet : I think it's a good imitation of a rock performance, but it doesn't feel like an authentic extension of a soul, ala exceptional rock concerts. That having been said, she's still amazing.
I think she's got a chance for final two, seriously.
Pie : we'll see what the judges say, I think she was fabulomenal. and scrumtrelescent.
Weet : Randy's got my back
Pie : he does.
Weet : ooh, Piece of My Heart would have been a much better choice. Thank you, Kara!
Pie : Kara is again going on and on. Kara, SUCCINCT. learn to be it.
I thought they were already doing a biopic on Janis Joplin and it was Zooey Deschanel or something.
Simon has MY back!
Allison is getting a little snotty. stop talking, Allison!
that is going to hurt her, I think.
Weet : Oh, Simon is being bitchy to her, but she's fighting back. Isn't that usually a bad strategy?
Pie : yeah, I think she got a little overly defensive... I think that's bad.
Weet : I think so too. America doesn't want to hear its gravely voiced princess get defensive.
Pie : after the break, a Kris and Danny duet!
Weet : oo oo! I hope it's a love song. To each other.
Pie : that is the dream. maybe if it were a Kris/Adam duet, we'd have a shot.
Weet : My wine is lacking. At what point can I justify ditching this bottle and switching to the sweet desserty one?
Pie : at any point.
Weet : well, I have to drain this glass first. I filled it all the way up, hoping to be able to gulp it quickly.

KRIS AND DANNY, "Renegade"

Pie : hey, Styx! I don't know if I know this song, but I do enjoy Styx.
I do know this song!
nice harmony!
Weet : I do like Styx. I do a fair imitation of Dennis De Young.
Pie : I am trying not to hate on Gokey too much, because I think I am stuck with him.
Weet : I just keep thinking "Aw, Milwaukee boy with glasses!"
Pie : they really do sound good, both of them, I admit.
I will be downloading this shizzle.
Weet : Kris is a little limp on some of the runs, but Danny's got some serious power
Pie : I think Kris has more originality, but Danny has a more powerful voice.
Weet : and also, looks remarkably like Ted Mosby in this set
Pie : that is an "in general" comment, not on this performance in particular.
Weet : agreed
Pie : I agree with Randy, that the harmonies were my favorite!
Weet : I think my proclivities between the two has come down to sex. I would do Danny. I would not do Kris. He's wee and might only have publings (this could be cross-over from his resemblance to Archuleta)...Oooh, Simon agrees with me that Danny was better than Kris
Pie : also Gokey keeps looking smug. drink!
Weet : I have drunk. Getrunken. Getrunket.
Pie : shut up, Simon! I wouldn't dislike Gokey so much if the judges weren't all up in his grille all the time, like Jamie Foxx.
Weet : the timing of this is weird. Solos are next? With Danny and Kris?
Pie : Gokey has done some kind of crappy boring karaoke performances and gotten this overblown praise, and it's just annoying. I think he's talented, though. maybe I will recalibrate.
Weet : Wouldn't Allison and Adam do their duet now?
Pie : one would think.... but I guess not!
Weet : I'm fully accepting that there is a high liklihood that I only like Danny because I kind of want to fuck him. There. I said it.
Pie : well apparently the judges all feel the same way.
Weet : That McDonald's commercial was just subtley racist.
Pie : I, of course, am into the gay one who looks like my hot ex-boyfriend. I missed the racist McDonald's commercial.
Weet : Maybe they can have a fivesome with me and I will be happy. Randy can wait outside.
It's a McCafe commercial, and the black girl is beleaguered and saddened by society, while the white people are smug in their McDonald's cafe items. Until finally a white girl hands the black girl a cheap HFCS laden McCafe and then she's happy. oooh a commercial for Glee! With Journey! Not racist, either!
Pie : well perhaps it is an ironic reversal of the "magical black man" stereotype, and it is the magical white lady. I am so into Glee. and we're back!
Weet : Seriously, they've been cockteasing me wiht that show for WEEKS.
it's very unfair

KRIS ALLEN, "Come Together"

Weet : Revolution is such a bleh Beatles song. There are so many awesome Beatles songs, why pick shitty ones like Revolution or "Come Together"
Pie : Kris is discussing his process. I think they're running long on timing as it is already 40 minutes into the show and they have only done half the performances.
Weet : if Kris pees his pants, do a shot!
Pie : heh. I know. I want to hear "Help!"
Weet : This song is sung in the key of "Douche"
Pie : wow, you know, Rock Night is kind of awesome.
Weet : I'm probably unfairly prejudiced against Kris.
Pie : I see we differ in our opinions at this time.
I have liked everything so far! and I think Kris is sweet.
Weet : It's not his fault that I don't like him.
Pie : I blame Danny Gokey for the fact that I don't like him.
Weet : Some of his performances, I enjoy a great deal. This one is too Jason Mraz, again. That's a common complaint of mine.
It's Danny Gokey's fault that you don't like Danny Gokey?!
Pie : I don't know much about Mraz except the "Remedy" song, which I like.
Weet : You just said it was the judges' fault!
Pie : yes, I blame Gokey for my Gokey-dislike.
and the judges too. there is enough guilt to go around!
Weet : that's true, there's a lot of blame
Also, Randy's t-shirt has more bling than a retiree on a cruise ship.
Pie : hee!
Weet : Kara didn't care for it, felt it could have used a little more Gokey.
Pie : Randy liked the guitar playing and his failed attempt at rock. Kara did not like it. and now she's elaborating, of course.
Weet : Paula comments that he was singing, and it was Kris.
And also, that he was singing the song. And he imprinted on it. And he was standing on the stage.
God, I love Paula.
Simon felt it was like eating ice for lunch. Ooh, see, that's much more harsh than I was, which was just that I didn't want to have anything to do with Kris' penis.
Pie : ha! and ha.
and I love how Simon is still hard for Adam. aren't we all, Simon? aren't we all.
Weet : yeah, get in line, Cowell
preferrably in a daisy chain
Oooh, I LOVE Dream On
Pie : oh dear.
Weet : I'm not sure how he's going to do with it, though. If he screams it, I will be upset.
Pie : Michael Johns did this song. Danny Gokey, you are no Michael Johns.
Weet : Which song would you sing during Classic rock week, Pie?
Pie : that is a fine question. I don't know a lot of classic rock. nor can I really sing. so... um... that Styx song about the winds of change.
TAKE ME! TO THE MAGIC OF THE MOMENT ON THAT GLORY NIGHT! WHERE THE CHILDREN OF TOMORROW DREAM AWAY! AND THE WINDS OF CHANGE!
(I have no idea if those are the words. I would learn the words.)
Weet : huh
I'm stymied
Come Sail Away?
Pie : we are basically picking what we would do for Styx week
Weet : I think the Winds of Change was Scorpion, wasn't it? I am lost. I would not do Styx. I would probably do The Pretenders
Pie : heh, oh yeah, that is an excellent point. I would also know the name of the band.
Weet : oooh, you could do Dust in the Wind! That one is always an easy platinum on Karaoke Revolution
Pie : oh, I love that song so very much.
there is a video of Adam Lambert performing that song. on YouTube. you're welcome, world!

DANNY GOKEY, "Dream On"

Pie : good god
Weet : I might do "Bohemian Rhapsody" though
Pie : what the hell is that last note
Weet : it was an orgasm. He came in his pants. That's the only time a man should make that kind of noise.
Pie : "Bohemian Rhapsody" is such a weird song to sing, though. it's impossible to arrange.
I love how Slash is like "well, that could go either way."
Weet : true dat
Pie : thank you, Slash, for clearly disliking smugface Gokey.
Weet : I enjoy Mr. Gokey's purple shirt of justice.
I did not enjoy Mr. Gokey's spontaneous spittle that was caught by the camera.
Pie : I do not want to see the words Gokey and orgasm in the same sentence anymore.
Weet : sometimes the HD is a curse.
noted.
Pie : oh dear god the screaming. STOP SCREAMING AT ME, GOKEY.
Weet : ooh, there's that note. Where bad things are happening. To Mr. Gokey. Which would be an orgasm.
Note the inclusion of periods so that it was not the same sentence.
Pie : was it just me or did he just embarrass himself with that?
a stickler for the law!
you are. I mean. with the two sentences.
Weet : It was actually a pretty fair rendering of the original, but that's not pretty either.
Pie : A+ for effort? this isn't FIRST GRADE, RANDY.
Weet : He colored outside of the lines!
Kara repeating herself. Repeatedly.
Pie : Kara goes on and on and on and on and on.
Weet : Oooh, I know what song I would sing! "Don't Fear the Reaper"!
Pie : oh my god, THE BEST CLASSIC ROCK SONG, BAR NONE.
Weet : sorry, I've clearly lost interest in the judges. They don't matter! Also, I've had some wine!
Pie : that might be my favorite song on earth. that and "One Night in Bangkok"
thank you Simon! "a horror movie"! yes!
Weet : oh my god, there's 6 minutes left and we haven't heard Adam and Allison het, and I'm sure there are commercials!
woe!
My stupid TiFaux is going to cut out!
Pie : that's right, keep talking, Gokey. dig yourself deeper.
that's because these people can no longer bring a show in on time because Kara NEVER SHUTS UP.
Weet : that's really what it is
she just keeps on repeating, trying desperately to be relvant
Pie : also, she told Danny he should do "early Aerosmith" but isn't "Dream On" early Aerosmith?
am I insane?
Weet : yes, it's early
maybe she's confusing it with Janey's Got a Gun
or that stupid song from Armaggedon
Pie : god, that fucking song.

ALLISON AND ADAM, "Slow Ride" by Foghat

Weet : whoa weird
Pie : I don't know this song
Weet : I would not have picked that song
Pie : Adam's pants make me happy. in my pants.
Weet : they are good pants
Pie : these two could totally go on tour tomorrow.
Weet : I also really like this new outfit for Allison. Better than her earlier outfit.
Allison, opening for Adam of course
Pie : yeah, I like it too. they look great.
I think this is good for Allison, to be paired up with Adam in the pimp spot.
Weet : agreed
Pie : it might counteract her backtalk to the judges.
Weet : and honestly, I think Allison is the only one who can hold her own with him.
perhaps. We shall see.
That was a great performance, though, despite the fact that I loathe the song.
Pie : yeah, I think that says a lot about Allison. she can definitely hold her own.
KARA JUST SAY FEWER WORDS.
Weet : considering her age. If she had hit AI in two years, she would have been unstoppable
are they yelling "Fuck you" at simon?
and my TiFaux just stopped
Pie : I have no idea what they were yelling.
Simon is saying that Adam may have given Allison a boost with that duet. hey, I just said that! we are in sync tonight, me and Simon.
Adam just said Allison was like his little sister.
Weet : I called that!
Pie : now they are doing RECAP!
predictions?
Weet : Kris is done
that's my prediction
Pie : as much as I think Danny sucks and would love to see him shock booted, I agree. Kris is gone.
Weet : Poor Kris. Buh bye.
let me check Dial Idol!
Adam is totally safe.
Allison is sucking hind tit, followed by Kris.
Pie : I want Gokey to at least be in the bottom two so he doesn't have the stupid perfect record.
sucking hind tit?
Weet : that's a Captainism
Pie : I see. okay then.
Weet : and also, I am drunk.
Pie : heh. then I say Allison and Kris for bottom two, with Kris getting the boot.
Weet : so his perfect record may well be intact. We shall see! What have you done America!!!
Pie : ugh, Danny Gokey. at least tomorrow night is Daughtry.

WEETAPIDOL OUT, BABY!!

Dream On "Extended Version"

2009-05-05T22:35:00.000-07:00

Oh my god, Rickey.org is just hilarious. I could not stop laughing.

Top 5 Pool Results

2009-05-04T19:13:00.000-07:00

What a shake up! Between the confusion of how to rank "MATT" and his staggered ousting and the fact that roughly half of the pool predicted that he would either be eliminated 6th or 7th, it was a very exciting week for our pool! In the end, we decided to treat "Matt"s elimination as 6th place.* Big props to Wendi, Eden, Gila and Shari who predicted Matt would get 6th place! Meanwhile, Aine, Kim and the Weetapidol Hive Mind will be giving baleful stares to the judge's panel, as they had predicted a 7th place trophy for our man "Matt".

Here are the current standings! Congratulations to Kim and Shari who are vying for first, and also, how eerie that the Hive Mind continues to reign supreme?

Shari H 101
Kim 101
Weetapidol Hive Mind 100
Kelly S 99
TeKay 99
Wendi 98
Aine 98
Mopie 97
Gila 95
Eden 94
Jeremy 92
Martha 91
Shmuel 91
Weet 68
Julie 66

[His original placement was at 7th, and his actual exit was at 5th. So people who placed him either 7th or 5th got 12 points each; the lucky people who guessed the average of the two, 6th place, got the full 13 points for this week. -Pie]

Top 5 Performances: With A Special Guest... From The Future

2009-05-01T16:09:00.001-07:00

Weetabix: hi!
Pie: I texted you from the road, but am now here in front of my computer… Idol begins in six minutes!
Weetabix: yes! early word is that Adam and Allison were amazing!
Pie: I am not surprised! I am also rooting for Kris… I am anti-rooting for Danny and "Matt"
Weetabix: I like everyone but "Matt" at this point
although on the scale, Kris is a neighbor of "Matt"
and Danny lives on the other side of the complex
Pie: ooh, so we have a Danny Divide. a Danny Disagreement. a Danny Dispute.
Weetabix: that we do… Danny is the Jordin Sparks's earrings of this season
I'm probably biased because he's a Milwaukee boy
Pie: well we'll see how we feel about his performance
Weetabix: I'm enjoying Adams outfit
Pie: Adam is wearing a white suit… "Matt" is wearing a "hat"
Weetabix: of course, "Matt" is desperately grasping at straws
Pie: rrooo rooooo!
Weetabix: I'm also enjoying the flaming redness of Allison's hair
Pie: well "Matt" has overstayed his welcome... or in other words, the judges' save is stupid.
or at least was stupid in this case.
I am so sad they are not doing two songs each
Weetabix: I am still stymied by that save
when do they do two songs each? top four?
Pie: this is normally the week of two songs each
but no, they are too attached to their filler
and by filler, I mean Kara DioGuardi
Weetabix: what's the theme tonight?
Pie: Rat Pack songs!
Allison looks pretty... I think they all look pretty snazzy, actually.
also I am in love with Adam.
ooh, a "mystery mentor"
it's the ghost of Frank Sinatra!
hee. Kris just pointed out that everyone in the Rat Pack is dead.
um, am I crazy or is Jamie Foxx an actor?
Is this thing on?

[We resolve our technical difficulties during which I apparently talked to myself for a while.]

Weetabix: I don't think Jamie Foxx is the perfect mentor for this week
Pie: he kind of has a Rat Pack vibe, I guess... I can almost see it

KRIS ALLEN
"The Way You Look Tonight"

Weetabix: you know who Kris is? He's the ghost of DUNKLEMAN!
Pie: yes! a song that I love!
Weetabix: me too! we're back to the montages
What the hell is Jamie Foxx going to add? I'm stymied by this.
Pie: Jamie Foxx "I am not trying to sing the throat Olympics." THAT MEANS NOTHING, JAMIE FOXX.
I guess Kris is not so confident! aww.
Weetabix: aw, that's somewhat sweet
Pie: oh this is so pretty!
this is why I enjoy Kris. well this, and “Falling Slowly”
Weetabix: I wish he would have shaved for this occasion
8:12 PM Falling Slowly was lovely
Pie: this song reminds me of my wedding. aw. romance!
and now it got all fast with weird falsetto
Weetabix: This is the difference between Castro and Castrochuleta, right here. If Castro had attempted this (and he would have), it would have been soaking in douchey.
I don't like the change up
Pie: that did not work that well, Kris. but no, definitely zero douchey. Kris seems sweet.
Weetabix: and, apparently short.
I'm not sure about that last note, though
Pie: I am sure that it was not great. I loved the first half. the second half, not so much.
Weetabix: I do enjoy him in a suit, however
Would it have killed Randy to keep the friendship beads for Woodstock night?
Pie: hee. wow, Randy and his Girl Scout necklace loved it!
Kara is over.en.un.ci.at.ing. some things.
Weetabix: She's really rando. What are her qualifications again?
Pie: she is a songwriter, I believe.
Weetabix: But writing a song, or several songs, does not give you any kind of ability to judge vocal ability or star quality, am I wrong?
Pie: I think she has expertise, it just doesn't translate to most of her comments.

Pie: Paula is wearing a red napkin! which I enjoy.
Paula looks like she's been starched and stuffed in a champagne glass.
Simon thinks it was… “wet”?
Pie: of course Kris is not going to win. his name is not Adam Lambert.
Weetabix: well, duh
it will be sad when all of these people who are not Adam Lambert have to go home
Pie: right now it's like, will Kris or Allison make it into the final two?
who will lose to Adam?
Weetabix: It's seeming like the set up to your demographic theory right now
I'm thinking Allison against Adam
Pie: yeah but she keeps hitting the seal... I don't know if she's got the votes
Weetabix: has she been in the bottom yet? I never watch the results show
I just find out when someone spills it on Twitter
Pie: she's been in the bottom repeatedly
Weetabix: I should probably watch so that I'm not totally crushed when Adam hits bottom, should he ever do so
Pie: last week, she was in the bottom three
Adam will never hit bottom [Oh, how innocent I was back then. –Future Pie]
actually at this point, Adam, Danny and Kris are all completely virginal... none of them has ever been bottom three.
(insert "Adam/ bottom” joke here.) ("Adam has never been on the bottom.... on this show.")
Weetabix: I fear that he will be felled by some shocker revelation that he's gay. I am worried that the American teens who are voting (by which, I mean 12 year olds) are fantasizing about marrying Adam. And unless they're, say, a boy, that's going to leave them stymied
Pie: I really think everyone knows... it's not some huge secret
Weetabix: I hope everyone knows, but I never underestimate naivete, especially in the Midwest
I didn't know Morrissey was gay until a long time!

ALLISON IRAHETA
"Somone To Watch Over Me"

Pie: Allison's hair is a FANTASTIC color.
Weetabix: one might say that it's Coke Can Red
Pie: one might say that! Allison is very cute.
Weetabix: she is, and that seems to be a very cute dress
I'll have to see her standing, but I like it right now
oh, I love this song
Pie: me too. LOVE this song.
oh yeah, Jamie Foxx. I forgot about him
Jamie Foxx wants her to think about her family. okay, Jamie Foxx.
Weetabix: Oh please shut up Jamie Foxx
Pie: he does not understand this song, I guess.
I love this torch song arrangement and her husky voice... so great.
Weetabix: it's really perfect for her. This is one of the few times where I don't feel like she's straining her voice against the song.
and also, she looks SO cute tonight… that dress is very flattering
Pie: I think Kat McPhee did this song.. I remember really liking it when Kat did it, too.
lovely, Allison!
Weetabix: that was super lovely
Pie: Randy loved her! woo!
Weetabix: Randy compared her voice to Pink's, which was something I hadn't considered. It IS like Pink's.
Pie: yeah, it is.... I've heard that comparison before.
I love how Kara actually basically comments twice. she just can't be succinct.
Weetabix: It really makes Paula seem well-spoken.
Pie: Simon: "do you think you can win?" Allison: "I don't know, is my name ADAM LAMBERT?"
Weetabix: You could almost see her think "Well, uh, Adam..." when he asked that
Pie: yeah no kidding. "Have you... noticed Adam is on this show?"
IF Name="AdamLambert" THEN yes

MATT "MATT" GIRAUD
"My Funny Valentine"

Pie: I love all these songs, by the way
Weetabix: damn it, I was kind of enjoying good performances, and now we have stupid "Matt" and his "hat"
Pie: hee. he's not even that bad, it's just I resent the judges saving him pointlessly.
Weetabix: I just resent him for no real special reason
I resent the judges for saving him. I don't hold that against "Matt"
Pie: yeah, that's what I'm saying… he's fine, just... shouldn't really be on the show anymore. on borrowed time!
Weetabix: The judges should have saved the save for the shocking Daughtry-esque dismissal of Adam
which we're due for, quite honestly
Pie: that will never happen [STOP BEING SO OVERCONFIDENT. YOU ARE JINXING HIM. -Future Pie]
Weetabix: the Daughtry ousting happened either Top 6 or Top 5, right?
Pie: I think Adam is way ahead... I think it's like Carrie levels. Carrie led every week of the voting for the last, like, eight weeks of the competition. I think that's where Adam is. [SHUT UP! -Future Pie]
he was apparently way, way ahead.
Weetabix: interesting! I did not watch the Carrie season
Pie: I think Daughtry was top five... and he's performing tomorrow night!!
Weetabix: oooh!
Pie: yes!
Weetabix: maybe I will have to watch that results show
[I lied; it was Taylor. Daughtry is next week. -Future Pie]

Weetabix: Ryan Raps!
Pie: Ryan Raps with Matt "Hat" Giraud
Weetabix: And I see a Dunkleman, by the way
Pie: yes!
Weetabix: a very small wee dunkleman
Pie: Matt is excited about jazz, in which he got a B.
Jamie Foxx looks bored.
Weetabix: Oh, let's find out what wisdom Jamie will impart
"Pretend like she's your Valentine"
"And pretend that the bitch is hilarious!"
Pie: hahahaha!
Weetabix: "that's real"!
Pie: Jamie Foxx does not like his runs… okay, Jamie Foxx. I respect you.
Weetabix: damn, I'm going to use that this week.
I really love this song.
More than just about any of them from the era.
Pie: Matt looks like he wants to get off the stool and kill someone with his microphone. Jesus, Matt.
Weetabix: He's a Buble-wannabe
Pie: when did he turn into a serial killer?
Weetabix: He's the Talented Mr. "Matt"
Pie: this is boring. I'm sorry. I am booooorredddd.
Weetabix: agreed, it just went all Buble
If you can't tell, I fucking loathe Michael Buble
Pie: heh. I do not mind Buble. I mind this performance of Matt's.
Weetabix: In fact, I had to stop watching Ugly Betty because they've been using a Michael Buble song as background music all season
Pie: wow, that is commitment.
Matt has a good voice but man, that had zero charisma, for me, dog.
Weetabix: yes, I gave up Mark St. James because of my hatred of Buble
yeah, I give that a meh
Pie: Randy found it pitchy. for him.
here comes Kara's interminable comments.
Weetabix: Randy's right, it's a VERY hard song to sing
For awhile, when I started doing karaoke, I only did big band stuff… and I LAMED OUT on that song, so hard core
Pie: Kara is SO RIGHT. the lack of emotional connection.
I agree with Kara. I take it back; she was useful.
Weetabix: Paula felt it, but unfortunately the rest of the audience was not on quaaludes
Pie: Simon enjoyed it. okay, Simon. maybe he's on Prozac.
hee. quaaludes was a better choice than Prozac.
Weetabix: or maybe Paula spent the entire performance massaging his nipples
Pie: Simon found it "brilliant"? um, okay.
also "LAMED OUT" is funny.
Weetabix: I have a grassy knoll theory: Simon wants him voted off and just tried to make voters think "Matt" was safe.
Pie: if Simon wants him voted off, why did he save him? I think Simon inexplicably has a hard on for him.
Weetabix: I think that they have agreed to an equal vote on the judges table, so if three against Simon, then it goes with the majority, but in the event of a tie, then Simon calls it
maybe? or does it have to be unanimous?
Pie: no, the save has to be unanimous
Weetabix: ah… I am without conjecture now
Pie: on the Grassy Knoll, they call it "Operation Make Matt Happen."
there is a lot of debate over whether they are trying to Make Matt Happen or if they've given up, or who is spearheading the effort, etc. etc.
Weetabix: oh, that's interesting
I'm a firm believer in the pushing of America's buttons. Witness: chris lights.
Pie: there is Danny Gokey and his smarmy smug face, coming up.

DANNY GOKEY
“Come Rain or Come Shine”

Pie: hey, Adam has the pimp spot again!
Weetabix: Oooh, "Come Rain or Come Shine"
Pie: what the FUCK IS JAMIE FOXX TALKING ABOUT
Weetabix: I do not know
Pie: "when I got right in his grille, that's when he was the purest"
Weetabix: "The purest and the truest"
HIS BREATH WAS FRESH!!!
reader, I lol'ed
Pie: I hope someone is standing up in his grille as he sings this song
Weetabix: Perhaps the guy with the big 'bone
I'm sorry, I'm completely charmed by Mr. Gokey
It's the glasses, the facial hair, now the suit and the torchsong... I want to jump him
He is SO MY TYPE
Pie: I love this song, but I do not enjoy his smug face
but I admit this is good
Weetabix: well, you won't see it when I am sitting on it
Oh, that was inappropriate
Pie: yes, we are usually so appropriate here.
Weetabix: his voice, admittedly, isn't amazing
I just like looking at him
he's like a singing Verizon guy
Pie: hee! he totally is.
now he's doucheing it up.
Weetabix: yeah, he should have laid off the douche factor. That's such a Ted Mosby move.
Pie: I don't know why they didn't give him the pimp spot, though... he's never had it, and that performance was good, I grudgingly admit.
Weetabix: Kara looks like she smelled a bad fart.
Because I'm sure that Danny has no place on the Grassy Knoll.
Pie: Kara enjoyed his "swag."
by the way, that color blue is lovely on Kara.
Weetabix: it really is
Paula looks lovely tonight too, actually. Her make up is at 11
Pie: now I am nervous for Adam, since they all creamed themselves over Danny.
Weetabix: Simon thought it was outstanding! See, maybe I'm not just charmed by his cute nerd boy glasses
Pie: I should not be nervous for Adam "Will Win" Lambert [Seriously, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?? –Future Pie]
Weetabix: Also, he doesn't make finger numbers!
Pie: no. and he has a nice tie. that is a lovely tie.
Weetabix: commercials

ADAM LAMBERT
"Feeling Good"
Pie: I do not know this song
Weetabix: I think I just felt a tingle in my naughty place when he did that burst of sexy sound
Pie: yeah, Jamie Foxx has nothing to say, because Adam is ten thousand times better than him.
hee. Jamie Foxx just said that exact thing!
Adam is bathed in heavenly white light!
Weetabix: he's like a sexy preacher! except the staircase is red with our sins! our sins of lust!
Pie: he can come to my revival anytime.
Weetabix: Ooooh, this is awesome
Pie: look at his pointy shoes!
PMWeetabix: he IS chuck bass
oooh, white pointyness
I kind of love his eyebrows. I think that's what it is.
I mean, beyond the amazing voice and x factor
Pie: Jesus, what a note
he needs to do an a capella song this season, for srs.
Weetabix: Wow, the camera guy was able to do a full swoop and then a 360
that note lasted forever
Pie: I think I just did a full swoop and a 360, if you know what I'm saying
Weetabix: and I think I do
Pie: it did not last as long as Diana DiGarmo's "Don't Cry Out Loud" note.
Weetabix: I don't remember that one
Pie: it's true that it was very theatrical and Broadway. and yet... Adam... is... AMAZING.
you should find the YouTube video, it's amazing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1jP1qor3ng
"Randy complaining about you being theatrical is like complaining that a cow moos." Hee. love you, Simon.
Simon likes that he wants to win! also, he will win. [I give up. –Future Pie]
hee! Ryan can't use the stairs anymore. hilarious.
Weetabix: Kara called him sleazy! But in a good way!
Pie: my prediction is that Allison and Matt are bottom two, and Matt goes home.
Weetabix: interesting prediction
Weetabix: I think I'm going with Kris and "Matt"
but who knows, maybe America really doesn't like Allison
shall we check Dial Idol?
Pie: yes, check it!
Weetabix: Matt and Kris
with Allison a close bottom 3
everyone's in the range of danger, however
Pie: I just popped by Shmuel's blog and he has an interesting observation
"There's been a very, very clear frontrunner for weeks, and nobody else is in his league. This one's pretty much unprecedented. (Kelly had Tamyra; Ruben had Clay; Fantasia had LaToya and Diana; Carrie had Bo; Taylor had Kat and Daughtry; Jordin had Blake; Cook had Archuleta. Adam has nobody.)"
Weetabix: I don't think Jordin was ever in danger from fucking Blake, though. I would argue that Jordin had... oh, someone else, but not Blake.
Pie: well Jordin sucked too, that season
Melinda was the best, and she was kind of dull
Weetabix: yes, and LaKisha was doomed from the start
I never felt Taylor was that much of a threat against Chris and Kat, but clearly, I was wrong
Pie: yeah, that was a weird season
Weetabix: ah well, we will have to see. I hope that this means that the road to the win is already Adam's for the taking, but we shall see.
Weetapidol Out!
Pie: I think it does. and... WEETAPIDOL OUT!

Pool Standings: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Matt Giraud?

2009-04-23T15:35:00.000-07:00

Do I have any idea what to do about Matt Giraud? I sure don't! But while I figure it out, let's figure out the scores for this week, when both Anoop and Lil left in 7th place.

Almost everyone thought Lil was ging to go all the way, at least to the top 4; the Weetapidol Hive Mind had her in 3rd place. Which means big points for Shari, who predicted her leaving in 8th place. Kim had her in 5th, which was not bad, all things considered; in fact, she moves into first place this week. But Shari was the big winner vis a vis Ley-ull--good enough to push her into second place from her previous 5th place position.

Anoop, on the other hand, was predicted by the Hive Mind to go out at 8th, and we had him a little bit all over the place. Shmuel and Mo Pie (yay! go me!) had him correctly placed at 7th, so were the big points winners there. Runners up were the Hive Mind, TeKay, and Kelly S. Overall standings are all shook up! And they are:

89 points: Kim
88 points: Weetapidol Hive Mind, Shari H.
87 points: Mo Pie, TeKay, Kelly S.
86 points: Aine
85 points: Wendi
82 points: Jeremy, Gila
81 points: Eden, Shmuel
80 points: Martha
59 points: Weetabix
56 points: Julie

According to the Hive Mind, our fifth place contestant is... Allison! Could we be on the money? We'll see!

Top 7 Part Two: Talkin' Bout Crazy Cool Medallions

2009-04-22T11:06:00.001-07:00

Pie: hi!
Weetabix: hola!
Pie: am home... eating Jello
Weetabix: yum!
Pie: Idol is on in 18!
Weetabix: whoo!
Pie: did you tape it?
Weetabix: yes, I taped it. Twice.
Pie: hee. excellent.
Ian is currently playing warmup disco tunes… "Shame" by Evelyn Champagne King
Weetabix: woo! I am not warming up… I am warmed
Pie: I just turned on the TV and there was some kind of intro montage… Ryan in front of flames
Weetabix: that was an excellent beginning. Ryan should stand in front of the earth's elements every week.
Very "Earth Wind and Fire"-ish, ala Disco week!
Pie: the light-up steps are crazy
Weetabix: Is Kid Rock in the audience tonight?
Pie: dear god, I hope so
Weetabix: I swear I saw him
Pie: the judges! they all look semi-normal.
Weetabix: yes! It's casual Friday on AI
Pie: not for Adam Lambert, he seems to be in black tie
Weetabix: Allison is all levels of sparkly tonight

LIL ROUNDS
"I'm Every Woman"

Weetabix: Interesting, we didn't get any intro videos about Lil, as per usual
Pie: maybe they decided to cut those, rather than the judges’ comments
Weetabix: Lil is not trying to fool anyone with the wigs, man. One week she's got a cropped bob, the next week, she's all Farrah Fawcett hair
Pie: Lil is not doing a whole lot of "singing" in this song
she is saying "come on" and the background singers are doing the heavy lifting thus far
Ian says, "She's not gonna win."
Weetabix: Vegas odds agree with Ian
Pie: she's got a hot body in that jumpsuit, though.
Weetabix: As they have Lil with the highest odds to win
or the lowest odds?
There are some odds.
Pie: I think lowest odds is how you would put that… maybe
Weetabix: Snowball's chance in hell odds
Pie: I agree with Randy that it did not show her artistry, even though it was fun
Weetabix: Randy didn't feel it, dawg, and I agree with him
Oooh, Kara doesn't think she was worth the wait. Ouch!
Pie: Wow, painful!
Kara's shirt is backless. I find that fascinating.
Paula is, as usual, grading on a curve
the judges have all picked up the "you need to define yourself as an artist" meme
Weetabix: how exactly does one do that? I mean, Adam has done it well.
Pie: it's the karaoke thing that is bothering the judges.
Weetabix: Meanwhile, I think Lil knows that she's done.
Pie: she's done tomorrow night, I think. ouch! and so does Simon.
Weetabix: Which song do you think Lil should have done? Aside from ABBA?
Pie: I think she's a disappointment in general... not necessarily that song choice was the issue.
“The Rose” is a great song and the arrangement was great. and she wasn't that good. that's where she lost me.
Weetabix: Yes, she's one of the classic Idol contestants that start so amazingly and then... pluh. That's the fizzle out sound. Pluh.
Pie: not fssssssssssss?
Weetabix: it's a little wetter
8:13 PMPie: that's kind of gross
Weetabix: failure is not pretty

KRIS ALLEN
"She Works Hard For The Money"

Weetabix: I love that he's doing Donna Summer
"I picked it because she works hard. She works hard for the money."
Pie: hee. Kris is kind of cute.
Weetabix: your weakness is showing again
Pie: guitar and bongos!
Weetabix: ooh, I kind of like this arrangement
Pie: me too! this is kind of awesome!
Weetabix: I think Castrochuleta is safe, quite honestly. Has he ever been bottom 3?
Pie: Ian says: "boring. BORING."
Weetabix: I'm still struck by the resemblance to Jason Mraz
Pie: he is the guy who chose "Falling Slowly." I cannot hate on him.
Weetabix: That's true. I did really like that song last week. Castrochuleta is growing on me.
Pie: this is groovy! I will be sad if he goes tomorrow night
Weetabix: Who knew?! Jason Castro is probably kicking himself right now, at his apartment in obscurity.
Pie: Jason Castro just got a record deal!
Weetabix: There isn't a god.
Pie: no! he is a friend of a friend. he is apparently a sweetheart. I have to be pro-Jason Castro
Weetabix: I do not, since a friend of a friend of a friend carries no such obligation.
Pie: Kara liked the arrangement, as did I!
Weetabix: Oh, the boy in Kris' friends and family should know better than to wear horizontal stripes.
Pie: "a classy Santana feel"! and he "shops in the women's department"! never change, Paula.
Weetabix: Wow, Paula totally is totally sane and awesome.
Pie: did you type that before she broke out the department store metaphor?
Weetabix: That was a decent analysis. Actually, I thought that was a clever turn of phrase, but then she ruined the guise of sanity by repeating it five times.
Pie: Simon is correct in saying it was original, not karaoke… and I agree the gender-bending song choice is great
I love how they're all "WE DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE WEARING A THONG"
Weetabix: Actually, I believe that I've said this before on here, but anytime a guy sings a woman's song and doesn't change the gender makes me happy.
Pie: I believe we've had this discussion about "Jolene" by the White Stripes
Weetabix: yes, that's exactly what I'm referring to

Weetabix: I am paused on Ryan leaning on a balcony railing, looking very much like a preacher, or maybe Kate Winslet in Titanic
Don't let go, Ryan!
Pie: Never let go! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

DANNY GOKEY
“September”

Weetabix: remember the guy at The Mint who sang this song and it was the most amazing performance ever?
Pie: vaguely!
Weetabix: Well, not as good as the guy who did Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast, but still, amazing
Pie: no, the Be Our Guest guy was the BEST
Weetabix: Well, right now, Danny's is not as good as the guy from The Mint
who I will now refer to as The Samoan, even though I don't know that he was from Samoa
Pie: Danny is not that original either, now that I think of it… he has the same karaoke problem as Ley-ull
Weetabix: I am still charmed by Mr. Gokey, but I will concede that it might be his glasses.
and the Ted Mosby-ness of Gokey
Pie: he's like the love child of Ted Mosby and the Captain
Weetabix: Oh, he kind of is!
I wonder if I could talk the Captain into those glasses
Pie: Danny is energetic and can sing, but he doesn't do it for me.
Weetabix: he just fucked up the lyrics
KID ROCK!
They just showed him in the audience!
Pie: Ian says he saw Pamela Anderson
Weetabix: That was more exciting than Danny's performance for me.
she was sitting next to Kid Rock, which was interesting, because I thought they had broken up.
Pie: well Randy was feelin' it, dawg
Weetabix: Kara called him an incredible vocalist and said his pitch is "right on"
Pie: Paula is talking about range.... Paula! so coherent!
and wants to jump him
Weetabix: well, who else does she have in the competition? Anoop?
certainly not "Matt" who is just skeevy for some reason, despite the comparisons to Timberlake
Pie: I agree with Simon that the performance was slightly awkward, but only slightly
I don't see him in the finals, though

ALLISON IRAHETA
"Hot Stuff"

Weetabix: Allison is on red stairs. Is that a metaphor?
By the way, her outfit?! FUCKING AWESOME
Pie: Ian would like to know what she is wearing. I think "awesomeness" is the correct answer.
she is swathed in awesomeness.
Weetabix: The shoes and the boots are amazing, but all the leather? It's like Stella from Project Runway's wet dream
Pie: the jacket I love. the sequins I love.
I see her in the finals. I have been seeing her in the finals for a couple of weeks.
Weetabix: also, I love the illusion. If you wanted to camouflage a soft tummy, it's hidden in the matte leather, and who is going to notice it with all that sequin action around the ass and boobs?
I feel weird referring to a 16 year old's boobs
Pie: that was a little weird, but I enjoyed it. like her outfit.
Weetabix: I agree, I thinks she's going to be in the top four
Pie: I agree that the arrangement wasn't so awesome, but the performance was good. completely agree with Kara and Randy.
Paula made another sentence! Paula! sentences!
Weetabix: This is a strange new world.
Pie: Adam is coming up... did they give "Matt" the pimp spot?
Weetabix: I kind of love that she just weirdly body checked Ryan
oh, that will be sad
Matt does not deserve pimping

ADAM LAMBERT
“If I Can’t Have You”

Weetabix: Adam's looking sharp!
Pie: he looks fancier than Ryan!
Weetabix: Ryan needs to have the bar raised
Pie: "If I Can't Have You"
Weetabix: Sweet
Pie: I enjoy this song!
Weetabix: although not your hoped "It's Raining Men"
Pie: that was a dream.
Weetabix: I want someone to do the theme song from the Talking It Up Barry Gibb Talk show
Pie: hee. "talkin' about.. crazy cool medallions! talkin' it up!"
Weetabix: Oh, he's awesome
Pie: he is smart... this is the exact opposite of what he did last week.
Weetabix: I'm getting a Wicked vibe right now
this was wicked clever! Seriously, turning this into a ballad? Brilliant.
Paula's all tingly.
Pie: Adam is so fucking fantastic.
Ian says it is not his favorite "Mister Lamberrr" performance.
Weetabix: that was the awesome… what was Ian's favorite?
Pie: the one he didn't see... "Mad World"
Weetabix: Well, it wasn't my favorite either, actually, but it was probably my second favorite.
yes, “Mad World” was my favorite.
Pie: Paula looks like she's just dissolving into a pile of emotion.
while Kara is telling Adam he is awesome
Paula likes his vulnerability and calls him fascinating and brilliant and awesome. MORE! SENTENCES!
Weetabix: Simon looked like he was going to puke during Paula's commentary
Pie: Simon loved the originality and memorability of it and the "immaculate" vocals
slam dunk again, Mister Lamberrrr!
Weetabix: Ryan just used "melting into a pool"! Shout out!
Pie: totes!

Matt "MATT" Giraud
"Staying Alive"

Pie: someday, we need to be in this audience
Weetabix: Someday, maybe that will happen, but how would we live blog?
Pie: okay, so I feel really guilty for calling him one of the generic white guys, because it turns out Matt is biracial! who knew!?
Weetabix: he is?! what are the races?
Pie: I gather he is half black
Weetabix: interesting. Well, he doesn't "read" black to America, despite whether he is or not
Pie: this is kind of tragic
Weetabix: this is seriously awkward… and stanks of "should have gone home last week"
Pie: Ian's comment on this is "oh god."
oh, they just showed his family! that black woman might be his mom… she looks super young though
Randy "that sucked, but you can sing."
Weetabix: Kara "You sang something different than Adam!"
Pie: the judges have to say good things otherwise they look really stupid for saving him.
Weetabix: that's a good point, they can't really say he sucks. Hopefully Simon will be the voice of reason. And he is.
Pie: yes. thank you, Simon.
Matt" should be out, but god knows what will happen

ANOOP DESAI
"Dim All The Lights"

Pie: and Anoop with the pimp spot!
Weetabix: oh, that's right, Anoop. Anoop has the pimp spot.
I had forgotten about Anoop. What does THAT say?
I even referenced him earlier.
Pie: it says you do not care for Anoop
Weetabix: I like the streamlined version without the montage before performance
Pie: this is quite an outfit
Ian says "do they know what 'disco' means??"
Weetabix: It's very 80's prom
Pie: now it is getting boogielicious
Weetabix: and yet... not
Anoop is quite handsome. I just don't like his voice that much.
Pie: milquetoastilicious
Weetabix: like that last note... it was not good
Pie: Randy concurs
Weetabix: as Randy mentioned
Pie: Kara also really liked it… Paula also wants to jump him
Weetabix: well, I agree that I enjoy his pink sweater. Real men DO wear pink! Boys, are you listening?
I don't know that we have any male readers. Wait, Shmuel reads. As does Joe in Las Vegas.
Pie: and they are both going to put on pink tomorrow, I bet
I kind of disagree with Simon for once... I don't think that was awful.

RECAP/PREDICTIONS
Pie: I think they were so mean to Lil that it means she's safe
Weetabix: perhaps
Pie: Kris was really good but went second, which might hurt him
I think he's safe too though
Weetabix: I think Lil is still going to pull some votes, and I think the Castrochuleta should be safe
Pie: I would like to think Danny is in danger, but probably not
I hope Allison is safe
Weetabix: In retrospect, I liked Danny's more than "Matt" and Anoop, Lil and Allison
Basically, everyone but Adam
Pie: Adam was fantastic and if he is out I will stop watching!
Matt is, I think, in danger, in spite of last week
and Anoop had the pimp spot so I doubt he will go! where does that leave me?!
Weetabix: I think Matt and Anoop are done
despite the power of the pimp
Two people are gone! That's just so amazing!
Pie: I think Matt and someone good, like Kris or Allison or Danny.
Weetabix: Oooh, that would sting.
Let's check the preliminaries at Dial Idol
Pie: wow, way too close to call, I think
Weetabix: everything's so close
Pie: although Allison is at the bottom
Weetabix: but you're right: Allison, Matt and Kris are bottom three right now
Pie: woo! I'm good. heh.
Weetabix: With Anoop a close four
Well, there's still time, too, as it just finished airing in CA
Pie: if Allison goes, that would really suck. one girl left, and it's Lil??
talk about the save backfiring.
Weetabix: yes, that would really suck, but as you mentioned, it's White Guy season, despite "Matt"'s "bi-racial"ness
Pie: sigh. well, I guess we'll see! it will be a surprising elimination if it isn't some combination of "Matt"/Anoop/Lil
Weetabix: We shall see!
Pie: I am worried for Allison!
Weetabix: America will have done something! I can't believe they wasted the save on "Matt" for that
Pie: okay, I have no further comments. the prosecution rests.
Weetabix: Weetapidol out?
Pie: Weetapidol... out!

Top 7: the plague of stupid Bryan Adams songs

2009-04-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

(Disclaimer: once again, Weet's Tifaux has given Weetapidol the shaft and chose not to record American Idol, so Weet is relying upon the grace of Rickey.org for the performance videos. The TiFaux has been double-checked for next week, and we are also using an 8-year-old but much more reliable actual Tivo as a failsafe. You probably don't care about that, but there it is.)

Pie : I was so excited about the "songs from the movies" theme tonight
but then I read song spoilers
Weetabix : yeah, I did too
Pie : I laughed my ass off when I saw the last one
TWO Bryan Adams songs? SNORE.
I mean if Quentin Tarantino's there, someone do Son of a Preacher Man, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Weetabix : I hadn't noticed the prevalence of the Bryan Adams. He must have been easy to give up licensing?
Pie : or Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down
Weetabix : Lil could have done Son of a Preacher Man up righteous
Pie : okay, I am watching the intro... I will report again... it is an intro with lighting, and Ryan just did "THIS is... Quentin Tarantino." and then QT said "this! is American Idol."
Weetabix : ha! I miss having the real show. Stupid TiFaux.
Pie : you should fix that, woman!
Weetabix : no kidding! It didn't record the Office either
but at least I can watch The Office online for free
AI, however, seems to be on lockdown
Pie : yeah, good point. The Office last week was good.
Weetabix : that seems downright unAmerrrrican
Pie : Randy is wearing stripes
Weetabix : and the sky is blue
Pie : Kara has flat hair
Weetabix : intriguing
Pie : paula is wearing sparkles
and Simon's hair is flat
Weetabix : flatter than normal?
Pie : but flat on top, not flat ironed like Kara's
no, he is nondescript
Simon is apologizing for the overrun last week
Weetabix : as well he should
Pie : and this week, only two judges will be talking for each contestant
Weetabix : did he explain the reason (RYAN RAPS)?
Pie : he claimed it was because Kara and Paula babbled too much
Weetabix : misogynist
Pie : totes
now they are doing a Quentin Tarantino montage
Weetabix : I enjoy Tarantino, even though he basically makes the same movie over and over
Pie : it is an amusing montage that I suspect QT did himself
Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece
Weetabix : true dat
Pie : and let me say for the ten thousandth time that it losing best picture to Forrest Gump WAS A TRAVESTY
Weetabix : I saw it three times while it was still in the movie theatre. I don't recall doing that with any other movie as an adult.
Pie : I love that QT is such a huge Idol fan... this is the second time he's been a judge, even
Weetabix : he's a judge too?
Pie : wait, no.. just a mentor

ALLISON IRAHETA
"I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" from Armageddon
sappy vballad #1

Weetabix : They've started a new site: vote for the first.com to offset the supposed death curse of going first
Pie : I have nothing to say about this performance thus far
Weetabix : I will say this: I don't think she chose the right song
Pie : yeah, I don't think so either. this song is boring and her performance is boring me, and there's something weird with her lower register... like the song is too low for her.
Weetabix : I don't really like much of anything involved with "Armageddon", aside from (speaking of Tarantino), Steve Buscemi
but this song is just not working with her voice at all
Pie : no
Weetabix : also, her outfit was not adorable
Pie : I have been rooting for Allison, but this week, not so much
Weetabix : last week, she was adorable, this week, it was boxy or something
Pie : okay, judges! let's see who gets to talk...
Weetabix : I still like her, as an individual, and I think she's cute and stuff, but the song was not so much
Pie : Paula said she has "special sauce" and is authentic
Weetabix : like a Big Mac?
Pie : Simon said it was "barbeque sauce" and hot and spicy.
Weetabix : interesting
Pie : "you are the girls' only hope left in this competition"
Weetabix : I thought he'd barbecue skewer her, but apparently not?
Pie : she is improving
Weetabix : wow, ouch to Lil Rounds
Pie : and "Ley-ull sucks" was the subtext there.
Simon thinks she has a chance to win
so there you go, they liked her
maybe I just don't like this song

ANOOP DESAI
"Everything I do" from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Pie : is next with some bullshit Bryan Adams song from "Robin Hood"
Weetabix : far away, blue stage, AI logo in the front
Pie : "Everything I Do I Do For You"
QT was "concerned" by the song choice
BECAUSE THIS SONG SUCKS
Weetabix : as is the world
Pie : this song sucks as badly as Kevin Costner's accent in that movie.
Weetabix : he didn't have one. I think he just gave up and was "American Rob Hood"
Pie : at least Anoop is changing it up a little
their cheesy ass song choices are VERY DISAPPOINING
Weetabix : I was hoping Anoop would be wearing some kind of peasant garb
Pie : that would be glorious
Weetabix : and tights
Pie : and holding a quiver of arrows
and tights, of course!
Weetabix : a quiver could be the new Wallet Chain!
Pie : this is a fine performance but what an awful song
Weetabix : but no, instead we got a Thomas Pink shirt and a bad tie, along with a weird sleeveless jacket situation
Pie : I didn't notice, because the song put me to sleep
Weetabix : yeah, Anoop may have shot his foot with his crossbow in this one
Pie : Randy thinks he's "found his zone" and is "rocking the house"
Kara says his place is "pop songs and adding your soul to it"
Weetabix : Are the judges messing with me? Or are these songwriters in the audience right now?
Pie : and it was one of his best vocals
it was a good vocal, I just loathe the song.
songwriters in the audience?
Weetabix : like, maybe they don't want to offend them by saying how much it sucked?

ADAM LAMBERT
"Born to be Wild" from Easy Rider

Weetabix : I suspect this will be an aural orgasm
Pie : QT thinks Adam is "the real deal"
Adam is up, the crowd goes wild! I have to say I enjoy Adam's gloves, and also his showmanship of doing that "touch the hands of the screaming girls" thing
Weetabix : I am interested in the fact that QT enjoyed the taste. Silhouette of adam in front of lightening bolts
Pie : the lightning bolts say to me, from a stage design perspective, "fuck it, we're going with Adam"
Weetabix : agreed... they are trying to mesmerize America.
Pie : "we will not pretend he isn't the most interesting thing about this show.... we are aware he is."
he's also got a wallet chain for you
hee. he is so awesome.
Weetabix : although we thought that with Daughtry too. I keep pointing out Daughtry as the outlier to the whole theories of AI mechanizations
but seriously, the quality of his performance is totally rock star caliber. Everyone else just looks awkward and meek.
Pie : yeah but Daughtry should have won! he was supposed to win! that was an aberration!
Weetabix : Adam takes his balls and puts them against the wall. Or whatever that saying is.
Pie : yeah, he does. he puts his balls all over the place.
Weetabix : and then the falsetto! It's all shades of awesome.
Adam Lambert just teabagged America.
Pie : ha!
Paula says "WOO!!!!"
Weetabix : that's some kind of necklace that she's wearing tonight
Pie : and the audience says "WOO!!!"
I believe that is part of her dress
Weetabix : like a dog collar? or part of her dress?
Pie : Adam "dares to dance in the path of greatness" and is brave. Amen, Paula.
Weetabix : "fortune rewards the brave" and I agree, he's crazy brave
Pie : ha! Simon's funny. "you've gotta learn to express yourself more."
too Rocky Horror... you knew someone was going to go there eventually.
Weetabix : well, yeah. I was thinking that it could be called a little throw-back to 80s hair band
Pie : although if he had sung Sweet Transvestite for movie week, that would have ruuuuled
Weetabix : oh my god, I would have stroked out...or off...something...one of those prepositions
Pie : and from this to more Bryan Adams
I am telling you right now, "Matt" is toast
also, I thought it was "fortune favors the bold"
but Paula was close!
Weetabix : oh, you're right, it is

Matt "Matt" Giraud
"Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman?" from Don Juan DeMarco

Pie : Ryan Raps with "Matt"
Weetabix : I can't believe we have to listen to "Matt" now....and it's the worst bryan adams song ever
Pie : what song?
Weetabix : "Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman"
Pie : oh god, vomit
Weetabix : from the worst Johnny Depp movie ever
Pie : Daughtry did this song. and even Daughtry put me to sleep.
Weetabix : that's right
I forgot about that
Pie : BECAUSE THIS SONG SUCKS.
QT also thinks this song sucks. Matt thinks it's a beautifully written song.
Weetabix : really? did he say that? I love QT
Pie : not in so many words...I was reading between the lines
Weetabix : I always believed that he and Margaret Cho really truly belong together
I don't know who QT is dating/married to now. I hope it's Uma Thurman's feet.
Pie : "Matt" is making dumb faces and enjoys this song more than anyone else on earth, including Bryan Adams and Michael Bolton.
and I bet he wishes he was married to Uma Thurman's feet.
Weetabix : I am trying to supress this song as it is unfolding, I loath is so much.
Also, his voice is shaky and weird.
Pie : me too. let's talk about something else! anything!
so, my toenail polish is navy blue.
Weetabix : The Captain has given up and gone to bed. I've stayed up too late for his taste.
Oooh! Fancy!
Pie : I have new dry erase markers.
Weetabix : Mine is a salmon, and in dire need of a polish.
Are they juicy?
Pie : I HATE YOU FOR PICKING THIS SONG, MATT.
it is over. I will vote him off with my time machine.
Weetabix : I see Paula is politely clapping.
Pie : Randy says it was "interesting"
that it started off cool, but then was "pitchy"
and he said you "can't do all of that stuff" with a simple song
and the audience isn't even booing
Weetabix : WHAT STUFF?!? SUCKING?
Pie : Kara didn't lke it either
but she is saying more words than necessary to get that across, as usual
and clearly he CAN suck with that song.
okay, I have no more buffer left
Weetabix : I would prefer "Matt" be gone over Anoop, quite honestly
Pie : so now I am watching the commercials
me too, Anoop is improving, and "Matt" is boring me
Weetabix : especially since while technically, "Matt" probably has a better voice or at least gives a better performance, at least Anoop doesn't bore the hell out of me

DANNY GOKEY
"Endless Love" from the movie Endless Love

Pie : Danny is dressed like Miami Vice
Weetabix : the entire show? Including the vice lords and the pimps?
Pie : QT mentoring Danny, who is singing another boring ass ballad, "Endless Love"
yes, and the speedboat and the palm trees
Weetabix : what's up with the ballads!!
Pie : he is dressed like all of it
Weetabix : so, I was really hoping Titanic would make an appearance in this show
and also, Mamma Mia
Pie : QT is saying if he doesn't move his fingers and toes, the power will come out of his eyes. oh, QT, you are kind of crazy.
Weetabix : just because I love me some Abba
Pie : Adam should have done My Heart Will Go On
Weetabix : ha! I love QT.
totes
Pie : there needs to be an Abba night, but I am not convinced Abba would co-sign that.
Weetabix : and "Matt" should have done a number out of "From Justin To Kelly"
Pie : I like the harp. I actually like this song, as far as ballads go.
but it's a duet... so.... um....
Weetabix : I'm not sure what to make of that prolonged arty shot of Danny through the harp strings? Are they saying that Danny is going to be put in jail?
This is a hard song to do in Karaoke Revolution
Pie : yeah because it's not clear which key you're supposed to be singing in
Weetabix : and the answer, as we have found, is c) neither. Sing somewhere in the middle.
Pie : Danny is singing this passionately! I think it's pretty good, and "Matt" is in trouble.
more symbolic harp strings.
Weetabix : it's definitely better than "Matt", whom I would like to see go if only so that I didn't have to keep typing quotation marks all the time.
Pie : Paula wasn't sure that the key should have been lowered, but midway through, she felt the magic.
sparkle sparkle
Weetabix : oh, I was feeling a little magic. Maybe some Lucky Charms-worth of magic
Pie : Simon said he can't fault him for the way he sang it, but was disappointed by the traditional version of the song, and the harp, as opposed to Cookie's "Hello" which was a Lionel Richie song that Cookie did something with and made it his own

KRIS ALLEN
"Falling Slowly" from Once

Weetabix : well, that's a good point. Cookie's "Hello" was for me the highlight of that season (although his song from Phantom of the Opera was also up there)
Pie : except I have commercials first
Weetabix : paused on disembodied hand playing a guitar
Pie : I loved his "Billie Jean" also, but yeah. "Hello" was great, and I love that song anyway.
Weetabix : right now, I'm thinking that Adam was the top, followed by Danny. I disliked "Matt" and I suspect Allison may also be in trouble
we have Lil and Kris to go, though
Pie : I am betting on Matt to be gone. but we'll see how Kris and Ley-ull do.
okay back from commercials
I am so happy about Kris's song choice!
"Falling Slowly" from Once which is A PHENOMENAL MOVIE.
Weetabix : I don't think I know this movie or song
what is Once about? When did it come out?
Pie : this song won an Oscar last year
it is A MAGNIFICENT FILM
Weetabix : I have apparently been living under a rock.
Pie : it's Irish. about Irish songwriters. and it's fantastic.
and the song won an Oscar! and I am now paused on a guitar.
Weetabix : lovely! I'll add it to my Netflix queue
go!
Pie : you definitely should. everyone should. it is lovely.
Weetabix : oh! I've heard this song before!
Pie : Ian declares "he should stop smiling"
well sure! it won an Oscar!
I enjoy how they have the background singer harmonizing
Weetabix : I didn't watch the Oscars... I never do, except for one year when Kymm's mom was going to be on it.
this song is LOVELY
I love it
Pie : watch the movie! watch the movie! it's so great as a duet.
Weetabix : It's actually swaying my opinion about Castrochuleta
Pie : I want to vote for him just for picking that song.
Weetabix : I think I downloaded the song, perhaps, but it might be on my Not!Mac
that was really lovely
Pie : Randy did not like it. fuck off, Randy.
Weetabix : I'm not sure if America will like it but I absolutely loved that.
his eyebrows didn't even bother me
Pie : Randy thought it was pitchy even though he lovs the song.
Kara called it an "obscure" song but a great moment.
IT WON AN OSCAR, DIGUARDIO.
just because it wasn't some shitty Bryan Adams song.
hey, this show is going fast! LEY-ULL ROUNDS is next.
I hope Kris is safe, just for the principle of the thin.
thing.

LIL ROUNDS
"The Rose" from The Rose

Pie : okay, Lil is being mentored as she sings "The Rose"
and she is going to "take it more gospel" for QT, who enjoys Ley-ull.
Weetabix : I wonder if the entire audience will just get up and leave?
Pie : QT says she "does not need a bait and switch"
hee.
Weetabix : we should probably explain that joke
Pie : we should explain that joke.
ha! jinx!
go ahead, explain!
Weetabix : heee!
ok, the first night that you, I, Fu and Jake hung out together in San Francisco (without a purpose, like Journalcon), we went to The Mint, which is still my favorite karaoke place in the world
and it was getting late and then two women got up to sing a song, and then on the screen "The Rose" popped up
Pie : Ian is laughing at the melissima. this is the best she's sounded in weeks, to me.
Weetabix : and without saying anything, we all just got up, as one unit, and walked out of the bar
Pie : hee. "The Rose"... that was funny.
Weetabix : so that moment, back at the Mint, we had a rare group telepathy situation. It was beautiful.
Pie : if I recall, we got to the sidewalk outside the karaoke bar and then cracked up. it really was.
Weetabix : That is my favorite sidewalk in the entire city. Magical things happen there. It was the moment that the menage a'quatre was born!
Pie : and now I am listening to this twice.
it's like the opposite of that moment.
Weetabix : This is very good
Pie : it is! I agree!
yay Ley-ull!
Weetabix : with the exception that the two ladies at The Mint were really truly awful and this was lovely
what do the judges have to say?
Pie : Paula loves the song, which is by "Amanda McBroom"
and "the road is long, but worthwhile taking"
Simon is confused by Paula but thinks Lil is getting it wrong, it was too "soft" and "middle of the road"
"you are not the artist I believe we met seven or eight weeks ago... I am getting frustrated."
Lil is now saying she put her gospel twist on the song and tried to make it her own
Weetabix : huh
Pie : she is defending herself eloquently
Weetabix : I totally got the gospel thing
Pie : I thought it was easily the best she's done in a long time, and I don't know what Simon wants from her if that wasn't it, you know?

RECAP!

and I am sticking with my "Matt" prediction, which I made before I even heard "Matt" sing.
Weetabix : I think that's a sound one, but I think Allison may be in trouble
Pie : I think if Allison gets voted off, they'll save her.
Weetabix : I'm checking Dial Idol and right now, it's too close to call
Castrochuleta and "Matt" are on the bottom, but everyone is within the margin of error
Allison is third
from the bottom
Danny and Lil are on top
Pie : Castrochuleta CANNOT GET VOTED OFF
Weetabix : not for that song. It was really lovely.
Pie : exactly. otherwise people will pick shitty songs for every movies night! and not be daring!
Weetabix : totally! They'll pick stupid Bryan Adams songs every time!
The world cannot handle that.
What have you done America?
Pie : do not do this, America! reward the lovely and awesome song from Once!
Weetabix : Please, America!

Weetapidol out!