Thursday, February 28, 2008

Top 10 Girls: "I Just Want This To Be A Lesbian Anthem"

Weetabix: hellooo!
Pie: helloooo! I am paused on the beginning of Carly's montage
Weetabix: are you drinking of the wine?
Pie: no, I am eating grapes... I went straight to the source.
Weetabix: go!
Pie: we are jumping right in!

Carly Smithson
Weetabix: she works at an Irish bar
Pie: CARLY! I love Carly and her little accent
Weetabix: she is pretty awesome
Pie: I want to go to Ireland so, so much
Weetabix: we should go! it might be a big booze fest, but we should totally go!
Weetabix: ooh HEART! awesome!
Pie: is that who this is? I am so music ignorant
Weetabix: I'm pro her outfit!
Pie: her outfit is fantastic. I love the belt... and the Pat Benatar vibe
Pie: or the... whoever-is-in-Heart vibe
Weetabix: you know, my Halloween outfit two years ago?
Weetabix: Ann and Nancy Wilson. I was Ann Wilson…. who sings this, I think.
Pie: I am familiar with Heart because Carrie Underwood sang "Alone"
Pie: continuing to love Carly... I don't know this song but she's great.
Weetabix: I love that she's doing a hard rock kind of vibe
Pie: I am calling Carly and David Archuleta in the finals, and David winning
Weetabix: in the finals? WOW
Pie: I am making my pool pick right now
Weetabix: you are all in! interesting! think you're underestimating Ferocia and A'siah
Pie: I haven't seen them in a week. I have a short attention span.
Weetabix: Simon wants her to pant on his crotch
Pie: Dumbo ear! he wants to spank Carly
Weetabix: yes! oooh, Simon agrees with you!
Pie: Simon is saying she hasn't picked the right song, which is a good thing... she will peak later, when it matters more
Weetabix: that is true
Pie: remember LaKisha, who peaked early… around this time, in fact, with the J. Hudson song
Weetabix: that she did. you have to time the peak, apparently… Kelly Clarkson did that. she was a Team Who until 40's week.
Pie: so did Carrie "Robot" Underwood. The peak has to come in the middle.
Pie: if you peak at the right time, it will carry you into the finals

Syesha Mercado
Weetabix: aw, she's in commercials!
Pie: this looks like the worst commercial ever
Weetabix: oh, I always find that really creepy, when people do baby cries
Pie: as an actress, she's a great singer
Weetabix: yes
Weetabix: mmm, my wine is yummo
Pie: okay, Rachel Ray--what's the wine?
Weetabix: it's Moscato d'Asti, but in a blue bottle. not the One True Wine.
Pie: I would love this song so much if she had kept "Me and Mrs. Jones," ala Jack White and his cover of "Jolene" where he sings about someone stealing his man
Weetabix: I'm not loving this version of the song… and also, totally agreed
Weetabix: I mean, the "thing going on with Mr. Jones" doesn't even make sense, the point of Mrs Jones is that obviously she's cheating with the singer
Pie: well, Mr. Jones could be cheating
Weetabix: yeah, but the adultery is right there IN THE TITLE, that's why it's a brilliant song
Pie: I just want this to be a lesbian anthem
Weetabix: meh
Pie: she's got a good voice, she just didn't "connect" with me. I didn't feel it, dawg.
Weetabix: agreed… the version of that song in Bridget Jones' Diary is much much better
Pie: I'm surprised that master Randall agrees with me
Weetabix: I'm not. Randall tends to cosign
Pie: he does, but I figured I was underrating her
Weetabix: I think if anything, we're usually pretty sympathetic to the contestants. I should gather data, but I think we err on the side of optimistic compared to the trio
Weetabix: I think we fall somewhere between Randall and Paula
Pie: Syesha just said she "made it her own" and I don't think the contestants are allowed to declare that
Weetabix: agreed, they are not allowed to say that

Brooke White
Weetabix:see, now she doesn't have the perm tonight, so now I'm flustered
Pie: who, Brooke?
Weetabix: I had to watch for the crazy eyes to remember who she was
Pie: I don't remember anything about her
Weetabix: this is Mia Farrow Crying Nanny, right?
Pie:oh yes, that's right! I should have gone back to study my notes
Weetabix: guitars are the new black this season
Pie: I'm glad one of the girls has one, though. it would suck if it was just the guys who could play guitar.
Pie: oh, awesome song! I love "You're So Vain"
Weetabix: all the girls serenaded you with this at your wedding! Emily and Shawn and Shannon! I sang backup!
Pie: aw, shoutout!
Pie: this sounds like karaoke, speaking of my wedding
Weetabix: it sort of does
Pie: she is oddly perky while singing this, too… it's like she doesn't understand it exactly
Weetabix: and you're right, there's supposed to be some bitterness. it was the "You Oughtta Know" of the 70's.
Weetabix: I don't hate it
Pie: I don't hate it but... I don't like it. Come on Simon, vindicate me, say "karaoke"!
Weetabix: I redact my thought that we are nicer than the judges. come ON! he just loved it because she was making googly eyes at him!
Pie: he just likes hot blonde girls!
Weetabix: maybe? she's not that hot. I mean, she's pretty, but I wouldn't call her "hot"… she's approachable pretty
Pie: she is. I definitely like her as a person... no issues with her. but the song seemed like karaoke.
Pie: I mean it wasn't bad.... maybe I'm just wrong.
Weetabix: no, I agree, it was meh
Weetabix: and apparently thanking the band is the new black too

Ramiele "Ferocia" Malubay
Weetabix: Ryan Raps
Weetabix: and oh my god, nurse Ratched looking like someone's mom
Pie: oh man, she looks like MY mom
Weetabix: Go Ferocia! I want to hula! she's so adorable!
Weetabix: oooh, good song. I was waiting for the Disco… the BeeGees didn't count
Pie: I don't know this song either
Weetabix: you'll know it in a second
Pie: of course I do! I had to wait for the disco to kick in
[We listen]
Pie: I stand by my original assertion that she is no competition to Carly
Weetabix: oh my god! I just got SCREWED by my snack
Pie: did you slip and fall on it?
Weetabix: I just ate an entire little tub of hummus with pretzel chips
thinking, oh, hummus, it's beans and healthy! to the tune of 600 calories!
Pie: well those are 600 healthy calories!
Weetabix: I know, but jesus, I thought it was like a nothing snack
Pie: I agree with Randall that this was boring
Weetabix: I agree with Randall, even though I love her
Pie: I am sorry the snack thwarted you--I hate that
Weetabix: I haven't even looked at the chips! that's just the hummus!
Pie: I have hummus in my fridge and now kind of want some
Weetabix: Poor Ferocia… I hope she's ok this week
Pie: oh, Simon said she's in the top three vocalists, though
Weetabix: I know, but the voters don't care what Simon says
Pie: she, like, says, like, the word, like, like a lot.
Weetabix: yes, well, I don't care. I still enjoy her!
Pie: she'll be safe... the Hawaiians will vote for her since she did the hula

Kristy Lee Cook
Weetabix: did he say that Kristy McNichol was going to be up next?
Pie: Kristy Lee Cook, but Kristy McNichol would be cooler
Pie: oh she is the one with the cute little personal story
Weetabix: she's very pretty… she looks a bit like Keri Russell
Pie: she is... and I don't think she's lying about being a tomboy... unlike Pick Pickler who was all like "country girl" with her own hairdresser. and she does! Felicity!
Weetabix: isn't this another Carly Simon song?
Pie: I know the song, but have no idea. I think she's "pitchy." (I am trying again to say something the judges might agree with)
Weetabix: I've never really been able to figure out what "pitchy" means
Pie: to me it means some of the notes are good and some are not on pitch
Weetabix: I don't know, in my house, we call that "you can't sing"
Pie: hee
Weetabix: also, her rocker girl stance looks like she has to poop
Pie: maybe she can sing on the toilet
Weetabix: oof, that last note was definitely NO GOOD
Pie: I like her shiny shirt!
Weetabix: Paula just did a shout out: "Get in the pocket"
Pie: Thank you, Paula!
Weetabix: no Simon, no country route
Pie: I am feeling a total disconnect from the judges right now
Weetabix: Linda Rondstadt not Carly Simon
Pie: they seem to like people who bore me
Weetabix: Simon judges with his cock, so that explains that. Our lack of cock.

Amanda "Nurse Ratched" Overmeyher
Pie: Nurse Rached… are we spelling that right? NOTE TO SELF LOOK THAT UP
[Editor's note: We were not spelling that right.]
Weetabix: she's wearing a bandana
Pie: yes she is!
Weetabix: and rides a harley. Color me fucking shocked.
Pie: she likes to read biographies of rock icons... how many can there possibly be?
Weetabix: 14
Weetabix: there are 14 rock icons
Pie: hee
Weetabix: oh, already it isn't good
Pie: "reading is just, like, a really good form of entertainment"
Weetabix: I seriously am not feeling the hair
Pie: no, the hair, the pants.... oh god, this is a trainwreck
Weetabix: it's so not good
Pie: I hope people vote for her, though... because at least I'm not bored right now.
Weetabix: that's true
Pie: I have never liked her voice, but she is sucking with a capital S.
Weetabix: she could have picked a million other songs…Jefferson Airplane, something
Pie: oh man, Jefferson Airplane... I don't think she can pull off Grace Slick though.
Weetabix: yeah, maybe not
Weetabix: Heart, actually, she could have done Barracuda… Fleetwood Mac, she totally could have done Stevie Nicks
Pie: even the audience looks bored
Weetabix: they do
Pie: I can see the crowd-o-meter down in the yellow
Weetabix: some girls in the background were just chatting to themselves
Pie: the drummer is very committed to his drumming... she looks like she knows it sucked
Weetabix: it's so weird, because obviously they get teeth whitening for the show, but they have like, no orthodontia. so crooked but blindingly white teeth. her nose casts some kind of shadow on her upper lip that makes it look like she's got a Snidley Whiplash mustache…
Pie: I can't get past her Mrs. Frankenstein wig hair
Weetabix: agreed. the pants are also really awful. and I agree with Simon. Everything feels contrived… she's trying to make an image
Pie: yes, he totally nailed it with that comment
Weetabix: I do like her jacket though. That's nice.

Alaina Whitaker
Pie: oh, this is Schuyler Fisk
Weetabix: I don't like my food to touch either! ok, she's OCD! How adorable!
Pie: oh, this song...
Weetabix: Grease! Hopelessly Devoted To You!
Pie: yikes
Weetabix: Actually, that's what Nurse Ratched could have done. "There Are Worse Things I Could Do"
Pie: ka-ra-o-ke
Weetabix: which song would you do for 70's week? Did we figure that out last night?
Pie: no, we didn't. and actually I have no idea.
Weetabix: you can't do Happy Together, because that's 60's. I would probably do Dreams, by Fleetwood Mac. or maybe Gypsy
Pie: she is not pulling this off, I don't think
Weetabix: no, she's failing. SONG FAILED.
Pie: and she is trying to look sexy and it's not working for me. her lips are distracting… they make a little "o" when she leers into the camera
Weetabix: how do you become "relevant" on American Fucking Idol?
Weetabix: man, now she's mooching for compliments?
Pie: I would like to fast-forward this season until it's Carly and Asia'h vs. David and Michael Johns, and everyone else is gone
Weetabix: I'm sorry to tell you, Michael Johns is not going to last that long, as much as we enjoy him
Weetabix: I am sorry

Alexandrea Lushington
Pie: hey Lushington! I forgot you existed!
Weetabix: another Brother Gibb!
Weetabix: ooh, maybe I would sing Dan Fogelberg
Pie: I don't know who half the people are that you're mentioning. I'm very sorry.
Weetabix: Dan Fogelberg?! he's a genius!
Pie: I was going to mock her rendion of the Star Spangled Banner and then she started talking about 9/11 and I couldn't
Weetabix: I pretty much just rolled my eyes and glossed over that
Weetabix: what the hell is she wearing?
Pie: cargo shorts? and stilletto ankle boots? and a hoodie?
Weetabix: she's dressed like a skater chick?
Weetabix: the whole outfit is just so misguided
it's like she accidentally got Baby Xander's wardrobe
Pie: Baby Xander wears stilletto ankle boots?
Weetabix: there's a lot we don't know about Baby Xander

Kady Malloy
Pie: it's KADY
Weetabix: ok, whatevs
Pie: and I know this because I know someone named... oh shit, Kady O'Mally
Weetabix: you're shitting me
Pie: it's the same fucking name! one letter is moved around!
Weetabix: it is!
[Editor's note: It's spelled Kady O'Malley. Still pretty close.]
Pie: I enjoyed her Simon impersonation
Weetabix: OOOH! Heart!
Pie: and I love her wacky dress with rocks glued to it!
Weetabix: it is very strange, that dress
Pie: I am enjoying the black dresses over leggings this evening
Weetabix: she's not so much impressing me so far
Pie: Ian just came home and he says, "What are they doing to this song? She's not a man."
Weetabix: I think she forgot the words, or doesn't understand the song
Pie: I find many of these girls interchangeable, quite frankly. the three blondies and Lushington especially.
Weetabix: her faux Simon is right. She does sing opera better than she sings up there…. fully concurring with Randall. she's just not that great, she couldn't find the note.
Pie: and many of the contestants are being a little snotty to the judges, which I always find off-putting
Weetabix: yes, these are the people who put you on the stage, so you should be respectful
Pie: Ian just walked out of the kitchen with hummus. it's like he CAN READ MINDS.

Asia'h Epperson
Weetabix: I think Asia'h is adorable
Pie: I think I might have spelled her name wrong
Weetabix: just throw some apostrophes around in the're
Pie: ok'ay. she is very c'ute.
Weetabix: she flat ironed her hair!
Pie: I hate the look
Pie: you love it because of Bridget Jones!
Weetabix: yes, I do
Pie: the makeup and hair are failing as far as I'm concerened
Weetabix: agreed, she looks like that Scientologist chick who plays Carrie on King of Queens
Pie: here it comes....
Weetabix: I'm going to sing along
Weetabix: she fucked up!
Pie: did the mike just cut out?
Weetabix: I think her throat cut out… she's still awesome
Pie: she was singing apostrophes
Weetabix: H'A!!!
Pie: she "worked it out," but man that was a big fuckup!
Weetabix: she is dressed like a secretary though, and Randall is calling it out
Weetabix: ha! did you see that graphic? "Asai'h's friend." that made me laugh
Pie: hee. punctuation.
Weetabix: word nerd! Simon is harsh

Pie: Carly is head and shoulders above the rest of these bitches
Weetabix: yes, Carly had a great performance. I think she was the best of the night, actually. Syesha, not so much.
Pie: who's going home?
Weetabix: Nurse Ratched and maybe a generic blonde. Schuyler Fisk. I hope Ferocia is ok… she had a poor week. Felicty could go home and I wouldn't be upset.
Pie: yeah, ditto. I was going to say Nurse Ratched wouldn't go, but it was really so bad… I agree that Schuyler is going home. Lushington could go.
Weetabix: that's true… it would have been her skater outfit that would have sent her home
Pie: Kady could go
Weetabix: I would not be upset about Kady. I kind of hope Nurse Ratched doesn't go home, though. She's interesting
Pie: I would be unsurprised by... wait, don't we already know who went home? Wasn't that tonight?
Weetabix: yes, hold on
Pie: oh, the suspense!
[We ask the internet.]
Pie: Schuyler, Lushington, Robbie, and...
Weetabix: Lushington!
Pie: someone named Chasen Yager
Weetabix: ooooh, Carl! no, wait, that's not Carl… it's not the dreadlocked Jason …. I think it's skunk hair Chasen. and thank GOD that Robbie's gone.
Pie: yeah, no kidding. no issues with any of those boots, really
Pie: okay, we should find something clever to say here at the signoff
Weetabix: um, Weetapidol out?
Pie: Weet'apidol o'ut?
Weetabix: HA! hey, does this mean that next week is 80's week?
Pie: one can only pray
Weetabix: I definitely pr'ay
Pie: oh, apparently Nurse Ratched is the choice on VFTW, not that they ever make a difference
Weetabix: no, it hasn't
Pie: okay, gotta go!
Weetabix: ok! enjoy dinner!
Pie: b'ye!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Top 10 Guys: Freshly Showered In '70s Awesome

Pie: ok, I am paused on some chick with dreadlocks waving… I think it might be one of the contestants. And also, maybe a guy.
Weetabix: I'm still getting there
Pie: I don't even remember Guy With Dreads
Pie: there are too many of these little contestant things!
Weetabix: there are a lot of Jason and Davids… two of each
Weetabix: if we were playing Old Maid, this would be significant

Michael Johns
Weetabix: Aussie in my pants is first
Pie: there is a picture of his guitar
Weetabix: are we watching the same show?
Pie: I have no idea
Weetabix: Michael Johns is wearing shorts! playing tennis!
Weetabix: doing FLEETWOOD MAC!!!!
Weetabix: OH MY GOD!
Pie: oh good lord
Pie: what is the theme?
Weetabix: 70's
Pie: do you have a towel?
Weetabix: sorry, he's still not great… but seriously!
Pie: no, this isn't great at all
Weetabix: I was just watching vintage Lindsay Buckingham videos on youtube last night… ok confession
Weetabix: I would totally do Lindsay Buckingham
Weetabix: that's better than Dane Cook, right?
Pie: it is, because I'm not quite sure what he looks like
Weetabix: he looks actually a little like Michael Johns… imagine Michael Johns, but older, and maybe mixed with a little Andrew McCarthy
Pie: hot! this is a great song
Weetabix: I love this song
Pie: is he working it out a little bit?
Pie: or am I just loving the song?
Weetabix: I don't know, it's a great song.
Weetabix: and it's about a breakup
Pie: aw, and you just broke up with Dane Cook for Lindsay Buckingham, so it's totally apropos
Weetabix: Paula wants the Aussie in her pants. "I think you're already there" (in my pants)." And I think Randy is losing weight again
Pie: I think Randy is just dressed more flatteringly--once he busts out the referee stripes, he'll be back to normal
Weetabix: Paula just admitted she wants to fuck Michael Johns
Pie: she sure did… and knowing her, she may just do it before the season's done
Weetabix: there are some times to use your power for orgasmic good
Weetabix: wow, I sound just like a man about six decades ago
Pie: Ryan Seacrest is wee next to this guy
Weetabix: did you see Ryan surreptitiously touch his bicep?

Jason Castro
Weetabix: Jason Castro being freaky
Pie: in a montage? I have a freaky montage
Weetabix: yes. oh god, his eyebrows are compelling
Weetabix: like I don't even know what he looks like because I'm just watching his eyebrows
Pie: he looks like a lady
Weetabix: BeeGees?
Pie: wow, you aren't kidding about the eyebrows… they move up and down
Weetabix: talking it up, on the Barry Gibb talk show!
Pie: talkin' bout, crazy cool medallions!
Weetabix: heee! I was just thinking about that skit on my commute and it was making me smile
Pie: I am against this song, the hair, the eyebrows, everything
Pie: if Jimmy Fallon gets on stage I will forgive everything
Weetabix: I'd trade three dick in a boxes for JT and JF to do another BG talk show
Pie: that's an interesting exchange rate for dicks in boxes
Weetabix: yes, well, the dollar is weak
Pie: hee
Weetabix: I think he's one of those douchy guys who learned how to play guitar so that he could get laid
Pie: I think he's very earnest, actually… and yet it does nothing for me whatsoever
Weetabix: eyebrows! they are like little caterpillars on his face
Pie: hello little caterpillar face! I agree with Randy--"really just ok"
Weetabix: me too
Pie: I love how Paula gets cheers for saying "not that bad"
Pie: and once again she's like "well I'd fuck him, so.."
Weetabix: and Paula's hair doesn't make me feel stabby tonight… she's still having Aussie afterglow. and Simon is making Dumbo ear hands.
Pie: and again with the Dumbo-- is that some kind of secret signal?
Weetabix: I think so. it's "Tonight, Ryan, you will swallow and you will like it"
Pie: and here I thought it was a signal to America for how to vote!

Luke Menard
Weetabix: oh god, Luke, who is sort of gorgeous? Does acapella
Pie: I love acapella
Weetabix: really!?
Weetabix: I've only liked it, like, twice in my life
Pie: maybe I just love Andy on the Office
Pie: who can say?
Weetabix: it's a hard decision
Weetabix: Omg! Andy Bernard/Luke Menard!
Pie: OMG!!! we can call him Luke Bernard!
Weetabix: BEST SONG!
LOVE Queen!
Weetabix: I love 70's week!
Pie: he's got some cheekbones. yes, this is a great theme!
Weetabix: he is very good looking. I'm feeling it, even though he's only marginally talented
Pie: the background singers are kind of weird
Weetabix: he's actually better looking than the Aussie
Pie: is he? my nipples would beg to differ
Weetabix: would your nipples like to debate this issue?
Hmmm.... I would have to see him without his shirt
Pie: note to Luke Bernard: take off your shirt
Weetabix: he reminds me of Carl in Love Actually
Pie: the pop cult references are flying fast and thick! he is not swarthy enough to be Carl, however
Weetabix: speaking of which, the guy who played Carl? Played the main villian in 300… which was really strange, because he was mostly naked, 15 feet tall, bald and painted gold
Weetabix: it was hard to get my Carl on, is what I'm saying
Pie: hahaha
Pie: oh man, Ryan is gay for him… he just called him "Dawson's Creek"
Weetabix: yes, Luke is very Van der Beek… it was an apt comparison

Robbie Carrico
Weetabix: he needs to wash his hair, it's stringy
Weetabix: oh my god, he's such a redneck. big surprise.
Pie: I don't think rednecks go on American Idol
Weetabix: BUCKY?!
Pie: he was a cornpone
Weetabix: PICK PICKLER?!
Pie: she was a... oh okay… you win.
Pie cut your hair, dude. (is long hair coming back? I do not approve.)
Weetabix: such a predictable song, jesus
Pie: who sings this?
Weetabix: Loverboy? That isn't 70's, that's 80's
Pie: I just asked Ian "who sings this song?" and he said "not this guy!"
Weetabix: hee
Pie: then he said "Foreigner"
Weetabix: it's NOT 70's though. make Ian say when it was
Pie: 1978
Weetabix: what?! really? I am astonished
Pie: Ian tends to be correct about these things. Also, that was kind of ass.
Weetabix: yes, it was ass. Agreed on the ass component.
Weetabix: Also, yes, Randall, cut him off at the knees, dawg!
Pie: I concur with Randall
Weetabix: is Paula wearing a cat o nine tails necklace?
Pie: it... kind of looks like it
Weetabix: some kind of bondage jewelry? wtf?
Pie: maybe that's where the Dumbo ears come into play
Pie: it means "Paula, later I will spank you"
Weetabix: is that the safe word?
Pie: I think the safe word is yet to be revealed
Pie: I love how Simon called him on being defensive… that attitude is not going to win him a lot of fans
Pie: be humble, dude
Weetabix: the safe word is "marigold jumper"
Weetabix: "peanut butter captain crunch" is Randall's
Pie: did you just find a safe word generator online?

Danny Noriega
Pie: oh it's that kid, that snotty kid
Weetabix: he was in a rock band and is gay. he didn't say that, but there's just more building evidence to same.
Pie: he is singing something earnest and terrible, and wearing an earnest and terrible sweater
Weetabix: yes, it's awful. and the hair, it's still bad… his nose is strange
Pie: wow, these are... not the right notes
Weetabix: "don't you remember you told me you loved me baby"… what a bad song. out of an entire decade, why would you pick this one. there were SO many good songs in the 70's!
Pie: I bet this song was pretty when Karen Carpenter sang it… everything was pretty when she sang it
Weetabix: she really did have an incredible voice. she is one of my top list of all time incredible voices
Pie: this kid is soooo emo. if there's an emo themed night, we're in trouble
Weetabix: OH MY GOD that might be the best night ever! but I have a weakness for Dashboard Confessional
Pie: Snow Patrol! bring it on!
Weetabix: yes! All American Rejects! to some extent!
Pie: Randall dispatches sound advice
Pie: (whenever I call Randy "Randall," I feel the need to use fancy old-timey vocabulary)
Weetabix: heee!
Weetabix: do you think Simon is all huffy and imperious at home? I find myself imaging Simon's home life sometimes
Weetabix: like, in the morning, over toast, does he take you to task for not using a clean spoon in the jam?
Pie: with, like, his serving people? or his mailman? or his dog?
Weetabix: no, with his fuck toy. it's the classy thing is to eat breakfast with them, you know
Pie: I love how he and his fuck toy are eating jam. Your brain is such a magical place.
Weetabix: sometimes. And I do enjoy toast, in every context.

Dave Hernandez
Weetabix: one of the Idolettes has paired brown plaid trousers with a black shirt. I do not approve.
Pie: why is he making orgasm faces? what is this guy's name?
Weetabix: Dave Hernandez!
Weetabix: sorry, I didn't CAPITALIZE IT
Weetabix: everyone's wearing dog tags
Pie: aren't there like nine Davids?
Weetabix: that is what I'm saying! so many D names!
Pie: also this guy is going for "sex appeal" and landing at "gas"
Weetabix: he's got interesting eyebrows. they make a fine arch. he's got a nice voice
Pie: your fixation on eyebrows is... new
Weetabix: no, I've always fixated on eyebrows. I am just expressing it now.
Weetabix: I'm getting a Bat Boy vibe
Pie: like Weekly World News Bat Boy?
Weetabix: no, like... who was the Bay Boy during Chris' season?
Weetabix: Not Kat or Taylor… Elliott? amin!
Pie: oh yes, Elliott!
Pie: Dave's voice is decent but his presentation is just... he looks like the face a guy makes right before he goes in for a kiss--that slack mouthed and kind of soft-eyed goofy cheesyness
Pie: Randall doth enjoyed it
Weetabix: notes right in the pocket! whatever that means! Ok Paula!
Pie: I think we all know what that means. "well I'd fuck him, so..."
Weetabix: it's not saying much that it's the best vocal of the night so far
Pie: rrooo rooooo! no. they have all sucked so far.
Weetabix: exactly
Pie: (sorry, Mr. Down Under)
Weetabix: although Aussie in my Pants? I'd suck... never mind
Weetabix: Oh my god, Ryan earns his money
Pie: he is very perky

Jason Yager
Pie: thank you for not being named David, Jason Yager
Weetabix: "Why were the 70's such an important decade, Paula?" "Because there were great songs" "I think what they're saying is... (blahety blah blah something that Paula totally didn't say)"
Weetabix: there are two Jasons too. skunk stripe!
Pie: montage: guitar piano guitar talking guitar talking and… go.
Weetabix: this song isn't bad
Pie: his skunk stripe is toned down
Weetabix: maybe the make up girls are hitting it with some mascara every performance
Pie: is he wearing a best friends heart necklace? that is kind of charming
Weetabix: I'm not hating this
Pie: no, it's not bad at all! he looks like he's having fun
Weetabix: even though I kind of don't like him that much
Pie: I love his half of a heart necklace
for some reason I find it endearing
Weetabix: I liked Jesus hands
at the end
Pie: okay he just bit his lip in kind of a goofy way
Weetabix: a supplicating Jesus
Pie: yes, supplicating Jesus hands--a new twist!
Weetabix: it is! He made Jesus hands his own!
Pie: I just realized at some point I am going to be too old to find any of these guys attractive
Weetabix: I wonder when that point will be?
Pie: It might be next week.
Weetabix: Simon harshed his mellow, man
Dumbo hand. has he always done this? the dumbo hand?
Pie: Paula's getting a spanking!
Weetabix: Paula? I was thinking Ryan!
Pie: our Weetapidollers will have to chime in
Weetabix: indeed
they are better at breaking the code than we are
I am sucking up right now
Weetabix: I have seen the Doobie Brothers in concert. they opened for someone, I don't remember. I think I spent most of the time in the beer tank
Weetabix: tent
Weetabix: Freudian!
Pie: I figured the "beer tank" was some kind of Wisconsin thing
Weetabix: we just go for a swim and drink our way out
Pie: ah, Wisconsin.

Weetabix: the explanation of his name!
Weetabix: Nigerian!
Pie: that is awesome. Ian wants to know "is that the guy from Love Actually?" he's thinking of Chiwetel Ejiofor, but he didn't know that movie had come up earlier! eerie.
finally, someone who can sing!
Weetabix: I don't really see the resemblance between Chikeze and Carl from Love Actually
Pie: Chiwetel Ejiofor
Weetabix: I have NO IDEA what you're talking about!
Pie: Chikeze, Chiwetel… nevermind
Weetabix: I enjoy chikeze1
Pie: does he have a 1 in his name?
Weetabix: that should have been a ! it should have been "I enjoy chickeze!"
Pie: I kind of like chickeze1, it's like his screen name
Weetabix: he's chickEzE1979!
Pie: well he rocked that, and it was refreshing
Weetabix: agreed. I feel freshly showered in 70's awesome
Weetabix: I don't know what that means
Pie: who cares? it's awesome
Weetabix: however, I would like to mention that I enjoy the resurrection of the double neon polo shirt. I've been waiting for that to happen
whoa, something else just happened
Weetabix: Chickeze pissed in Simon's cheerios
Pie: I missed entirely what he said, but his shirt is fantabulous
Pie: and he's giving a shoutout to the backup singer, which is charming
Pie: go, chickEzE1979Q
Weetabix: he's got a strange roll happening on the back of his head
Weetabix: I assume it's a hand rest of some nature
Weetabix: wait, I should NOT have typed that!

David Cook
Weetabix: Dane Cook! is a word nerd!
Pie: now I enjoy him
Weetabix: me too! Go Dane Cook with your bad hair!
Pie: he likes crosswords? SOLD.
Weetabix: and used the term "word nerd". but whoa, bad Bad Company song
Pie: and yet, there's his hair. and this... song
Weetabix: and the bad facial hair situation. is he really playing the guitar? it doesn't seem like it
Pie: he is playing it like people in Rock Band play the guitar
Weetabix: I'm watching his chords
Pie: maybe there are some colored buttons
Weetabix: exactly. It's really really fake
oh, but that riff might have been good
Weetabix: like he learned just how to do that one riff
Pie: his hair and his hands remind me of my guitar-playing ex, the Useless Shagging Bastard
Pie: I can't watch his hands… they are what doomed me with the Useless Shagging Bastard
Weetabix: is this going to make Weetapidol?
Pie: depends on what you're about to say!
Weetabix: because yes, sometimes hands? A good thing.
Pie: guitar-playing hands
Weetabix: I thought that the Aussie kind of reminded me of the USB
Pie: he has stage presence, this Dane Cook character
Weetabix: Dane Cook's t-shirt is really good for his arms
Pie: and he has the arms
Weetabix: jinx!
Pie: I also buy that he's a "real rocker." "really kind of believe him" too, Randall my man.
Weetabix: Paula also wants to fuck the band
Weetabix: oooh. don't tell Simon he's useless! Dane Cook! You're not doing yourself favors!
Pie: I know. you want Simon on your SIDE. have these people learned NOTHING?
Weetabix: apparently not
Weetabix: Simon's doing a version of Dumbo hand that is NOT Dumbo hand. I don't know, it's kind of like Satellite Dish Bangs.

David Archuleta
Weetabix: he looks like Eddie Munster
Weetabix: he sang Dreamgirls for his original audition?
Pie: he did?
Weetabix: yes! in the montage!
Pie: did he sing J. Hud's song? if so, that's pretty awesome
Weetabix: yes, "you're going to love me"
Pie: that is cheeky of little David
Weetabix: still looks like Eddie Munster
Pie: I've heard buzz about this performance. and they certainly are doing that split screen thing aren't they?
Weetabix: actually, scarily looks a lot like a young Captain Esteban
Weetabix: wow, really? you predicted that he was the chosen one
Pie: that is what the split-screen is saying
Weetabix: Grassy Knoll!
Pie: he clearly is
Weetabix: why is he wearing a Members Only jacket though?
Pie: I am going to look so smart eight months from now, when the finale airs
Weetabix: yes, I hope you pick him for the pool
Pie: he's got a lovely little voice… and the squeeing girls love him
Weetabix: he does! he has the possibility of cuteness! unlike Chicken Little
Pie: I did enjoy that. not as much as the split screen thinks I should, but quite a bit.
Weetabix: the split screen is the new Chris light
Pie: I will make a note of that!
Weetabix: oh my god, Randall loves it!
Pie: Randall is enthused over young master David!
Weetabix: Paula is losing her shit! "I want to squish you and squeeze your head off and dangle you from the rear view mirror"
Pie: I love Paula. "I want to dangle you from my rearview mirror" is the best thing she's ever said
Weetabix: I think it's an homage to "I want to put you in a snow globe"
Pie: true!
Weetabix: oooh, Simon loves him toooo!
Pie: and also, this kid is the chosen one by a mile
Weetabix: I still don't approve of the Big O stage, clearly
Pie: as far as the guys go, I don't see how anyone can beat him except maybe Chickeze129848y8
Weetabix: oooh, that would be a fascinating final two. but then I would miss out on the girls, who are all awesome.
Pie: yes, Carly! I love Carly!
Weetabix: or rather, a lot of them are awesome! Ferocia!
Pie: I have never heard such high pitched noises from the audience
Pie: I'm frightened.

Weetabix: ok, montage recap! who is going home? God, I hope it's Jason Castro
Pie: Jason Castro and... hopefully Emo Muppet
Weetabix: oh yeah, he's not good. I still enjoy Carl from Love Actually
Pie: oh, Robbie! I don't like him either
Weetabix: actually, Robbie could totally go and I wouldn't even remember him
Pie: I am guessing it will be Robbie and either Jason or Emo kid, probably Jason
Weetabix: I worry that no one is voting for David Hernandez because he's boringly good. Weetabix: Chason Yager could go too. I am bored by Chason Yager.
Pie: but, heart necklace!
Pie: according to Dial Idol, David Archuleta is in front by ten million percent
Weetabix: interesting! yeah, David had the pimp spot, plus the talent
Pie: he was good, that Baby Xander
Weetabix: that he was
Pie: plus the split screen… they're laying it on pretty thick
Weetabix: well, they love to glory hound, those Idoleers
Pie: any final thoughts?
Weetabix: Um, save the Aussie, save the world!
Pie: Roo rooooo!

Weetapidol out!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Top 24: "I Want To Put Her In A Snowglobe"

Weetabix and I tried a new experiment, which was to do our blog using instant message. It's four hours and ten million pages long, sprinkled with racially insensitive remarks and sexually explicit material, so… enjoy!

Pie: I am home!
Weetabix: hi, I'm just getting situated!
Pie: okay, this will be a fancy experiment. I will navigate to the first performance, past all of the Ryan Seacrest filler and banter. Paula just said "infect" instead of "affect"
Weetabix: of course she did
Pie: this is the harbinger of a great season
Weetabix: this is an auspicious beginning! Jinx!
Pie: now there is a montage set to DAUGHTRY!
Weetabix: DAUGHTRY! Chris Lights! Wallet Chain!
Pie: now there is a montage of the boys singing
Weetabix: I miss the Wallet Chain
Pie: who the hell are these people?
Weetabix: I'm still cruising youtube
Pie: search for "leering at camera in creepy way." Here come the girls in fabulous boots, singing like the Brady Bunch. You need to find this, it's weird
Weetabix: are they cha cha cha changing?
Pie: it's not actual Brady Bunch, just spiritually, metaphorically speaking, it's a sunshine day
Weetabix: sometimes it is indeed a sunshine day, though.
Pie: the "rock and roll nurse" looks uncomfortable, which is good because I dislike her
Weetabix: there's a rock and roll nurse? Does she steal her patients' meds?
Pie: yes--there's a rock and roll nurse and an awesome girl named Carly, and a cute kid named David or something. And that's the extent of my knowledge. They are bobbing up and down
Weetabix: I was about to get really perplexed by the season. I see that there's a guy called David Cook and I thought it was Dane Cook
Pie: now there is some kind of Grease-esque thing, it's a duet that's just like the crappy Grease reality show! Rock and roll nurse continues to look uncomfortable and there's a mullet! And by the way, if Dane Cook were on this show I'd have to quit
Weetabix: Ok, so confession?
Pie: oh god. Please do not tell me you enjoy Dane Cook
Weetabix: I totally would do Dane Cook
Pie: Nooooooooooooooooo!
Weetabix: I think I never really got over my fraternity boy fetish. I know, I have shame.
Pie: go for Ryan Reynolds. He's basically the same thing, and not a total tool
Weetabix: but the sex
Pie: oh god
Weetabix: I also enjoy Ryan Reynolds
Pie: it's like I don't even know you
Weetabix: again, shame. I'm sorry
Weetabix: Clay Aiken
Pie: shut up
Weetabix: I wish you could hear me laughing at you right now
Pie: (disclaimer: I did go see Clay Aiken in Spamalot) (from the second row) (mere weeks ago)
Weetabix: (and if he weren't totally gay, they would have had to fight you off his jock with a stick)
Pie: oh shit, I'm watching the results show! I'm watching the wrong show!
Weetabix: whoops! Is mercury in retrograde or something?
Pie: no wonder there was a montage
Weetabix: so many technical difficulties this week!
Pie: I was like "a montage? on a performance night? that's so weird."
Weetabix: that is indeed weird
Pie: well we weren't going to blog the results show so that was like a little bonus
Weetabix: right
Pie: a puzzling little bonus
Weetabix: by the way, I'm drinking a very bizarre wine right now. It was so weird, I had to buy it.
Pie: is yours fizzy?
Weetabix: yes, fizzy it is! Why do I talk like Yoda in chat?
Pie: know I do not! hahahhaa! amuse myself, I do
Pie: a comma in that construction, should there be?
Weetabix: I have a bad feeling about this

Dave Hernandez
Pie: okay, this is Dave Hernandez
Weetabix: 24 years old from Glendale Arizona. he's very blurbley
Pie: he has a nice voice but he seems a little... affected?
Weetabix: I'm getting inappropriate flashes of sexual intuition
Pie: it's never too early for sexual intuition
Weetabix: he can't come. it takes like, forever and the partner is like "Um, do you mind if I turn on CSI?"
Pie: au contraire. he appears to be coming right now
Weetabix: ha!
Pie: also his shirt looks like a burnt marshmallow
Weetabix: I did not enjoy this performance
Pie: and he's done
Weetabix: HA! Randy just said "he can definitely blow"
Pie: yeeeeah
Weetabix: his shirt is strange and puzzling and also, Paula's hair is floopy
Pie: Paula looks drugged with feathered hair
Pie: "floopy" and "blurbley." it's a whole new vocabulary this season
Weetabix: I think Simon's neck gets bigger every yea
Pie: yes, it's like, taller
Weetabix: maybe his head is just smaller?
Pie: he got a shrink ray?
Weetabix: also, did Ryan get taller?
Pie: no, Ryan is still wee
Weetabix: did he do a little growing and showing over the hiatus?
Pie: maybe he just gets bigger next to the guy that "can definitely blow"
Weetabix: then burnt marshmallow man is likewise wee. really, that shirt is tragic. maybe he's just standing up straighter?
Pie: also he's doing the vote begging that you hate
Weetabix: yes, I do loathe the vote begging. in my head, Ryan just tweaked his nipple
Pie: the show in your head is awesome

Pie: okay, now there's another guy
Weetabix: it's a much better show, I agree. which guy?
Pie: Chikezie... that seems to be his entire name. there's a Scrabulous joke in here somewhere
Weetabix: I love you more today than yesterday
Pie: I kind of love his orange suit
Weetabix: what's up with this stage? Dunkleman! resurrected!
Pie: woo!
Weetabix: on Chikezie! I don't know how I feel about the orange suit
Pie: I enjoy it and I also enjoy the arrangement of this song
Weetabix: but I enjoy the audience member seemingly having a personal moment during the song
Pie: yes, his... mother? I hope.
Weetabix: one would hope. I would like to know the story behind one name Chikezie. maybe his name was Chick and last name, Easy
Pie: Randy has a huge thumb. this is a weird thing to notice this late in the game
Weetabix: and he just kind of Electric Company smushed it together
Pie: "a'ight"
Weetabix: you know, where there are like two heads, saying parts of words?
Pie: yes! he was named by the Electric Company heads
Weetabix: I will make a link to that video so that people get it. holy shit, Paula is lubed! Jacuzzi! ha! apparently Chikezie lost weight
Pie: Ian says the Chocolate Rain guy is in the audience
Weetabix: Chocolate Rain???
Pie: I will put a link to the video
Weetabix: I am not in with the kids these days I agree with Simon. I wasn't all that impressed
Pie: I was enjoying the suit but I bet he's toast. two guys are leaving, the competition is fierce!
Weetabix: Chikezie's last name really is Eze

David Cook
Pie: he is singing "I'll Be", and Ian is enjoying him. he said "woah! oh baby!" not in a gay way. oh my god he is singing HAPPY TOGETHER I LOVE THIS SONG MUST HAVE MP3
Weetabix: ok, I'm on Ryan Raps, red couch
Pie: he is making faces that are weird, lose the mullet, Dane Cook
I love this arrangement
Weetabix: I do no like Dane Cook's hair. I wouldn't call it a full mullet, it's just, not right, like a tragic combover
Pie: this is an excellent performance as far as I'm concerened. I will avert my eyes from the tragic combover and the fact that he's named Dane Cook, sort of
Weetabix: he's got shit in his pocket
Pie: this is fantastic
Weetabix: oh, sideview, it is a mullet
Pie: I love this more than anything. Ian says "he nailed it"
Weetabix: seriously, though, the shit in the pocket. It's like the Idols are all waiting by off ramps, ready to clean your windshield. it was meh, sorry, I know that you love that song
Pie: it was not meh. and Randy and Paula agree with me
Weetabix: already, we have Jordin Sparks' earrings
Pie: I don't understand the windsheild reference
Weetabix: she's so hammered!
Pie: but yes, we have an earring situation (backlink needed)
Weetabix: you know, those guys who are like "Clean your windshield, miss?"
Pie: yes but what does that have to do with shit in the... ooooh, like a rag
Weetabix: exactly! already in the Weetapidoling season, I need to footnote my jokes

Jason Yeager
Pie: I have a commercial and then someone named Chason Yager
or something
Weetabix: after the vote pandering. Jason Castro? Jason Yeager
Pie: yes, Jason!
Weetabix: go!
Pie: it is going! he has a kid. his kid is excited
Weetabix: is the kid's name Chasen?
Pie: wearing a "my dad" shirt
Weetabix: aw
Pie: well he could write in "sucks" after that
Weetabix: way to pull the mommy daddy vote, Chasen
Pie: ok he is sitting on the stage, Chasen is sitting
Weetabix: I sense hostility toward the breeders
Pie: I paused
Weetabix: go!
Pie: I went!: Moon River
Weetabix: why the weird lights this performance?
Pie: this reminds me of Sex and the City
Weetabix: also his hairline, I'm transfixed
Pie: also, why do they all make SUCH WEIRD FACES? is weird hair in? like insane retro hair?
Weetabix: apparently 2008 is weird hair's year. did you see the Sex and the City trailer?
Pie: yes I did
Weetabix: I have this feeling that Big dies
Pie: wow, way to bring the room down
Weetabix: sorry. I feel like the trailer is telegraphing that
Pie: he has very white teeth, this Chasen person
Weetabix: that he does, and there's little Chasen!
Pie: he looks like a 40s singer
Weetabix: with also weird hair
Pie: it's like Frankie Avalon. who was in the...not 40s. someone help me out
Weetabix: why does Randy Jackson wear so much jewelry? again, his watch is enormous
Pie: it's his inner Mr. T or.. wait, .I just saw the bracelets. his inner Hannah Montana. Paula is making drugged statements
Weetabix: aw, he dedicated it to his Grandma!
Pie: he is pasty and weird. you like him?
Weetabix: not really feeling it right now. I agree with Simon, sadly
Pie: me neither. okay, good.
Weetabix: ooooh, "a dependable old dog"? Harsh!
Pie: he might be out
Weetabix: I agree
Pie: okay one second
Weetabix: not really feeling it, dawg

Robbie Carrico
Pie: some guy with bandana. he said he would put his soul on the stage
Weetabix: I'm not feeling this whole Axl Rose thing
Pie: that bandana? sucks
Weetabix: I like his voice though
Pie: he has a wallet chain
Weetabix: yes. I don't know that a wallet chain can save him
Pie: Ian says he needs a makeover
Ian: "this is not Survivor"
Weetabix: he looks like he would smell. like his clothes would smell. I could totally see him playing Roger on Rent
Pie: that was Constantine!
Weetabix: no, Constantine was a penis.
Pie: hee! he reminds me of a guy who should shave
Weetabix: h!
Weetabix: there was supposed to be an A in that HA
Pie: when we format it I will change it
Pie: so you are responding to my joke with HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
Weetabix: Robbie looks like he's about 40
Pie: I literally keep forgetting that Taylor Hicks is not 50
Weetabix: seriously, look at Randy's watch!
Weetabix: wow, Simon liked it!
Pie: I did not like it
Weetabix: I didn't hate it. I have liked this the best so far, except for the bandana, which was tragic, and the flagrant use of the word "authentic"
Pie: he wants to be Bo Bice and he is failing

David Archulet
Pie: he is the Zac Efron of this season
Weetabix: sorry, this kid is a DORK
Pie: he's a dork, yes. may I remind you of Kevin Covais? Clay Aiken?
Weetabix: yes and yes. Clay had more of a presence, though
Pie:this kid is totally in the top 10 though, without even thinking about it
Weetabix: weird hallucinogenic lights!
Pie: I am so not the audience for this kid
Weetabix: they are hypnotizing the audience! If this kid gets top 10, that will be tragic. there has to be better talent than this. Dane Cook was way better than this
Pie: he looks like Xander! oh my god he looks like baby Xander!
Weetabix: oh my god. he does
Pie: I think he's not bad. I am just not the target audience for baby Xander. I think he's definitely good
Weetabix: he doesn't have pubic hair yet. he's not terrible, he's just not that inspiring, but meh, when have I ever approved of everyone in the top 10? Bucky Covais, much?
Pie: I would put him #2 behind Dane Cook. oh god, Bucky Covais.
Weetabix: really? I liked Not!Bice.
Pie: Paula just called him an "older soul"
Weetabix: oh, he's an older soul!
Pie: see, the judges like Baby Xander
Weetabix: Simon liked him too! what the fuck do I know?
Pie: I think they want him to win
Weetabix: hyuck hyuck hyuck
Pie: like he might be the chosen one this season
Weetabix: it does seem that way
Pie: they don't have a cute young guy, they have Ruben, and 8 million year old Taylor. that's it
Weetabix: hmmm, so quickly the grassy knoll appears. that's true, the demographics theory
Pie: I am on the grassy knoll for Baby Xander, it is cute how he's hyperventilating though. I don't think it's a put on
Weetabix: aw, he's cute
Pie: Ryan is kind of being creepy with him. Ryan, stop being creepy.

Danny Noriega
Weetabix: he's cute in the dorky kind of way
Pie: more unfortunate hair! seriously, unfortunate hair must be in this year
Weetabix: he's better than, um, the last guy
Pie: flat ironed mullet? Baby Xander
Weetabix: ok, the guy before baby Xander
Pie: he's kind of got a Keanu vibe
Weetabix: yes, I can see that
Weetabix: his mother is Stifler's Mom
Pie: hee. love his tie
Weetabix: I think he might be a little too femme for AI
Pie: very confident
Weetabix: sadly
Pie: and yes, a little femme
Weetabix: that's a demographic that's under represented
Pie: Ian likes him too. this guy is g to the a to the y
Weetabix: hell yes he is. Esteban is very confused why we're not doing this on the phone
Pie: this saves one of us half the typing!
Weetabix: I love the pouty mouth he's making at Paula
Pie: this is genius! Paula is talking about beautiful colors
Pie: oh, I missed Paula and her druggedyness
Weetabix: what color was it? A motherfucking rainbow!
Pie: Simon is a homophobe! "grotesque"?
Weetabix: he's afraid of the truth. His true love for Ryan.
Pie: Paula is stuttering and making no sense. "people have seen your vocals"
Weetabix: this might be the season that she has a meltdown. we can only hope
Pie: the judges are having a weird meltdown
Weetabix: although really, I do enjoy Paula's loonery
Pie: Danny is going to be through, I bet. people will jump to his defense
Weetabix: I love it when teenagers say "Wuuuulll" instead of "well"
Pie: I do not love it. he is losing me
Weetabix: I think you stop doing that when you hit 20
Pie: the "wull" is like my insolent studnets. "wull, I didn't understand that I had to do my homework"
Weetabix: I was being sarcastic. the "wuhl" makes me only less insane than "ain't"
Pie: g to the a to the y and p to the o'd. maybe his off-putting personality means he's out. he should have been more gracious instead of snotty

Luke Menard
Pie: now someone named Lou Malnati. didn't he play Cyndi Lauper's father in a video?
Weetabix: Luke Menard?
Pie: okay I am paused at the beginning of Luke Menard's performance
Weetabix: ok, hold on, getting there
Pie: Luke, I am your father! that might be so unfunny that it verges on funny. here's hoping
Weetabix: he looks like he's playing a single father on the new mid-season series on the
Pie: he's got a Patrick Dempsey thing happening. split screen! he just hit an off note
Weetabix: yeah, I can see the Patrick Dempsey. his voice did something unfortunate there
Pie: and he might be wearing a homeless man's jacket.
Weetabix: that would be a key to success, given the rag in pocket phenomenon
Pie: his voice is... not good. he's out
Weetabix: no, I'm not impressed. but he is a very beautiful man. like, he could be a model for Eddie Bauer
Een: "'pitchy'--that means he can't sing."
Weetabix: Paula's couching her critique because she wants to fuck him.
Pie: Paula is really inarticulate
Weetabix: aw, he sang Grace Kelly for his audition? I love Mika
Pie: how many people have sangded yet?
Weetabix: I don't know, a million?
Pie: hee
Pie: we still have a million to go!

Colton Barry
Pie: he looks like someone. he has cool hair, Christian-from-Project-Runway hair
Weetabix: it's Elvis you fuckers! Ellen Degeneres or Rupert Grimt
Pie: Rupert Grint! I think that's it. he said himself he looks like Ellen Degeneres. I saw that earlier
Weetabix: nuh uh
Pie: nice song choice
Weetabix: it is! but I fear for Rupert!
Pie: they misspelled "Rupert". my screen says "Colton" that is a crazy typo
Weetabix: I don't like his jeans, though
Pie: they are very blue
Weetabix: they are strangely feminine. also, the foil effect in the background is bizarre
Pie: that is crazy. these guys are so confident. it's weird. they all look so comfortable
Weetabix: they do, there's no Sanjaya in this bunch, it seems
Pie: I know I've been drinking wine, but...
the foil is crazy
Weetabix: I've been having a tough time getting through this Ballatore shit
Pie: Ballatore? oh, the wine? switch to something else! life is short!
Weetabix: I'm almost through the bottle, last glass
Pie: hee
Weetabix: I want some chocolate now though
Pie: I was feeling bad for drinking a whole bottle by myself. I had a handful of chocolate chips for dessert!
Weetabix: no, you're drinking with me!
Pie: I keep chocolate chips in my freezer for emergency purposes
Weetabix: when we used to 'pidol, we'd do three bottles
Pie: that is true
Weetabix: this guy does a weird turkey neck bob instead of nodding
Pie: now he looks like he's taking in Simon's criticism
Weetabix: yes, he does
Pie: not like that snotty Keanu Reeves flat iron kid
Weetabix: that is true
I fear for Rupert
Pie: go Rupert!
Weetabix: Simon just winked at Ryan!!
Pie: naughty!

Garret Haley
Weetabix: ok, who is next?
Pie: Garret Haley, and oh jesus, the unfortunate hair trend continues
Weetabix: he looks like John Bonham or something. he should be in Winger
Weetabix: Leif Garrett!
Pie: no shit. yuck to his audition
Weetabix: "I've never sang in front of so many people before" bluck
Pie: I will pause at the beginning of his performance."bluck"? I enjoy that fake word. I will add it to the list
Weetabix: ok!
Pie: is he wearing...a....vest?
Weetabix: who sang this song originally?
Pie: a....vest?
Weetabix: yes, that is a vest. we have vest
Pie: and he has an unfortunate fake mustache. Neil Sedaka! this is my karaoke song!
Weetabix: he makes me feel stabby
Pie: my one true karaoke song!
Weetabix: oh it is!
Pie: cut off your hair and SHAVE THAT SHIT OFF YOUR FACE! me + this kid + a razor. ten minutes. this is gross
Weetabix: seriously, it's like this weird Tiger Beat vibe from 1978
Pie: the hair, the vest, the tiger beat thing.....
Weetabix: I don't want 80's hair band hair to be back in style. I need someone to hold me
Pie: the sad little mustache is pushing me over the edge
Weetabix: god, he needs to go
Pie: this is atrocious
Weetabix: Garret Leif must go!
Pie: uuuururrrrghghhhhh. so bad. vote. him. off. please, America from two days ago, vote him off.
Weetabix: let's hope America from two days ago is smart and knows what is good for it (us) I hate him
Pie: does he look like... a magician? a creepy mustachioed magician?
Weetabix: HA! he does! Doug Henning
Pie: that... is it! Doug Henning! no! he looks like a hobbit!
Weetabix: oh, I can see that
Pie: the one played by Billy Boyd
Weetabix: someone should check his feet

Jason Castro
Pie: Jason Castro is next
Pie: I hope there'sa "Castro" joke somewhere
Weetabix: we probably aren't that lucky
Pie: I hope he's gayer than g to the a to the y
Weetabix: Jason Castro? IS HOT
Weetabix: but just made a douchy face
Pie: is he the dreadlocks guy?
Weetabix: si
Pie: you're going with "hot"?
Weetabix: his face is hot
Pie: I'm going with "shave your head"
he has a guitar
Weetabix: ok, see, it's the frat boy thing again
Pie: I am pausing on the guitar
Weetabix: I have a strange attraction to douche bags
Weetabix: wait, is he really playing guitar?
Pie: I don't know this song
Weetabix: oh come on
Weetabix: you have to
Pie: he looks like one of my poetry students
Weetabix: I hate his hair like that, pulled back
Weetabix: I redact the hot
Pie: eeeeugh
he would have been worse had he not come right after Billy Boyd/Doug Henning
Pie: he is hitting some horrible notes
Weetabix: yes, that's true
Weetabix: I'm not impressed with Mr. Castro
Pie: me neither
ixnay on the astrocay
Weetabix: the shirt is bad
Pie: the voice is bad
Weetabix: he's got to go
Pie: so far there's like a few who need to go
Weetabix: based on that performance, gone
Pie: what about Jacuzzi?
Weetabix: yes there are
Pie: I am predicting Jacuzzi and Doug Henning to go
Weetabix: Jacuzzi would have seemed better if he had gone later
Pie: actually demographically was Jacuzzi our only black competitor thus far?
if so, I redact
Weetabix: I predict Doug Henning and.... one of the guys I don't remember
Pie: skunk stripe guy
Doug Henning and the skunk stripe guy
Weetabix: see, I no longer remember skunk stripe guy
Weetabix: and also, I disagree with Simon, he does not have charisma

Michael Johns
Pie: next up is some hot guy
Pie: the last guy
Pie: Michael Johns
Pie: two first names guy
Pie: and he is hot
Pie: and has an Australian accent
Pie: um
Pie: hello
Pie: hello, two-first-names
Weetabix: he's got nice arms
Weetabix: montage
Pie: he's got nice everything
Pie: he's got a nice montage
Weetabix: who does he look like?
Pie: I can't figure it out
Pie: he does look like somebody
Pie: Bill Paxton?
Weetabix: oh, I can see that
Weetabix: I also think he looks a bit like a young Jack Nicholson
Weetabix: already he's in
Weetabix: he's golden
Pie: he is singing the Doors!!!!!
Pie: squeeee!
Weetabix: OOOOOOOOH!
Weetabix: Sorry, I think I just got pregnant
Pie: I like the "fire" in the background
Pie: also, I think I just had an orgasm
Weetabix: I did. Kegel!
Pie: he is lighting my fucking fire
Pie: I can tell you that right now
Weetabix: sorry, but this is fucking HOT
Pie: MP3 must have RIGHT NOW!
Weetabix: he's this season's Ace
Pie: no, because he can actually sing
Weetabix: singing, not that great
Pie: no?
Weetabix: there are some bad notes
Pie: am I blinded by the orgasms I am now having?
Weetabix: you can't hear them because his penis gets in the way
Pie: his scarf is also hot
Weetabix: I don't even care about the bad notes
Weetabix: his everything is hot
Pie: the jaunty way it's tied is worth three extra orgasms
Weetabix: I give that performance a dozen orgasms
Weetabix: seriously, hot
Pie: twelve orgasms up!
Weetabix: oh, Randy compared him to Michael Hutchence!
Weetabix: a guy who died in the quest of a good orgasm
Pie: ha!
Pie: too soon?
Weetabix: he's seriously hot
Weetabix: I think I need to find Bohemian Rhapsody on youtube too
Pie: I think I can find it in my pants
Pie: (I don't even know what that means)
Weetabix: HA!
Weetabix: Ok, I have a shoe in for my Weetapidol Pool
Pie: is it shoo-in?
Pie: or are you doing the hokey pokey?
Weetabix: shoo in?
Weetabix: shoe in?
Pie: he can pokey my hokey anytime
Weetabix: I am drunked
Weetabix: ok, that was good for me
Pie: okay, this one is over!
Weetabix: let's take a pee break and reconvene for the girl on girl action?


Weetabix: ok, and we're back
Pie: ok!
Weetabix: and Esteban wants me to tell you that I can't always use his laptop because at some point he may need to work
Pie: okay well it won't always be five million hours
Pie: also, buy a laptop. heh.
Weetabix: ok, go!

Kristy Lee Cook
Weetabix: she trains horses! and she sold her horse!
Pie: she's got a Britney vibe. I like the guitar player. okay no Britney vibe when she starts singing
Weetabix: I don't like it when they keep the beat with their hand on the mic
Pie: I don't like when they are generic thin blondes
Weetabix: yeah, not so much
Pie: this is my "issue" she's not so bad
Weetabix: agreed
Pie: just generic
Weetabix: we had that already, with Haley Scarnato and a million other generic thin blondes
Pie: Haley was a brunette, I think
Weetabix: in the beginning, she was
Pie: also this Kristy person sings better than her
Weetabix: but she got more and more blonde as the season progressed
Pie: Kristyawn (there is no way to pronounce that. I will work on it.)
Weetabix: I dislike Kristy. whatever. I refuse to pander to stupid names
Pie: \/\/ that is emoticon for \/\/hatever
Weetabix: ah, I had no idea I was mystified. "don't ever let that get in the way of your shine!"
Pie: "don't ever let that get in the way of your shine"
Pie: hee
Weetabix: jesus, we're creepy
Pie: oooOOoooo
Weetabix: rrrooo roooo
Pie: rroooo rooooooo!!!!!!

Joanna Borgella
Weetabix: ok, Joanna something
Weetabix: pseudo Mandisa
Pie: Joanna, our plus-size girl
Weetabix: yes!
Weetabix: Borgella!
Pie: go Joanna!
Weetabix: we have plus size bias
Pie: yes we do
Pie: well we'll see how the singing goes
Pie: love this song!
Weetabix: ME TOO!
Pie: so Rupert Everett!
Weetabix: this is probably the song I would pick for 60's week
Weetabix: if I were on AI
Pie: cute top
Weetabix: although, I don't know, maybe Son of a Preacher Man
Weetabix: nice use of belt
Pie: I would enjoy copying this outfit and failing
Weetabix: what would Yoda say?
Pie: a little prayer, I say?
Weetabix: ha!
Pie: I liked it!
Weetabix: I liked it too!
Pie: better than Generic McBlondieson
Weetabix: so much better than Equestrian Barbie
Pie: hee!
Weetabix: creeepy
Pie: sorry, Equestrian Barbie!
Pie: we have plus-size bias!
Weetabix: however, to show that I am not entirely biased, I will say that I'm disappointed by her lack of lip color. she needs a brighter lip gloss
Pie: I enjoy her lip color and her hair. fantastic hair
Weetabix: I think she needs oomph for her lips. she's got incredible lips, but they need just a tzugh of color
Pie: I think the nude lips emphasize her eyes. tzugh!
Weetabix: LOVE the hair
Pie: that is a new made up word! it is going to be a long list
Weetabix: yeah, well, I'm a drag queen in disguise, so I would totally have amped up the lips
Weetabix: no, that was on Queer Eye, I just don't know how to spell it
Pie: oh, like "zhuuzh"
Weetabix: yes
Pie: I don't know how to spell it either

Alaina Whitaker
Weetabix: Ryan said they are "chilling in the red room". I want to smack him sometimes. are you ready for another Barbie?
Pie: Barbie is talking, showing her shoes
Weetabix: ok, I'm almost there
Pie: we do not need another Carrie Underwood. she looks like Schuyler Fisk though
Weetabix: I don't know who that is
Pie: Sissy Spacek's daughter. she starred in the Babysitters Club movie
Weetabix: is she a singer?
Pie: no. I think she should dye her hair red
Weetabix: agreed
Pie: so far the boys are pwning
Weetabix: indeed
Pie: the girls are... not. great song though
Weetabix: she's got a gigantic yawp of a mouth
Pie: she sounds her gigantic yawp over the televisions of the world
Weetabix: like, she could unhinge her jaw and swallow Simon's tiny head.
that was a little treat for all the English majors out in Weetapidol land
Pie: or people who have seen Dead Poets Society repeatedly
Weetabix: oh yes, every time I see reruns of that, I wonder what Dr. Wilson is doing in school. I did not care for that performance, or rather, it was yawny. and I can't believe that Simon liked it
Pie: I enjoy her Schuyler Fisk qualities
Schuyler Fisk is quirky looking
Weetabix: Ryan is also wearing a vest. stupid finger vote pandering

Amanda Overmyer
Pie: This is rock and roll nurse
Weetabix: ah!
Weetabix: I like her pants
Pie: who looked nervous in the montage
Weetabix: she sings like a man. she's kind of awesome. she's a little too unique for this competition, quite honestly. She's too good.
Pie: this is a terrible song choice. I think her voice is weird
Weetabix: it is
Pie: I thought it was weird in the auditions
Weetabix: I enjoy her performance
Pie: I think it's weird now
Weetabix: but I think America won't like it
Pie: I enjoy her tank top and breasts
Weetabix: absolutely. great breasts
Pie: maybe America will like those!
Weetabix: I am pro Rocker Nurse!
Pie: I find her vaguely... unsettling. I want her to sing something totally out of "character", out of her comfort zone like a ballad
Weetabix: are you afraid she'll beat you up?
Pie: maybe a little bit
Weetabix: I'll bet she'd rock it
Weetabix: I always like the unconventional types though
Pie: her name should not be Amanda
Pie: it should be something like Blade
Pie: or Blaze
Weetabix: Blaize!
Weetabix: JINX!
Pie: or Nurse Ratched

Amy Davis

Pie: Amy--ugh bad note
Weetabix: oh her voice is awful
Pie: bad hair. weird ass accent
Weetabix: oh
Pie: terrible
Weetabix: jesus it's bad
Pie: oh jaysus
Weetabix: bad bad bad. some girl with actual talent is sitting at home pissed off after seeing this and what a bad song choice
Pie: it's wretched
Weetabix: oh god the final notes. talk about bad karaoke
Pie: that was Patsy Cline? oh god
Weetabix: no. Connie Francis or something like that. it WAS Connie Francis
Pie: that was painful
Weetabix: it was
Pie: I hope America has kicked her e. million off

Brooke White
Weetabix: ok, the nanny? with crazy hair
Pie: oh yes, blondie! she is cute
Weetabix: blondie's got the crazy eyes
Weetabix: and also, looks like Mia Farrow when she cries
Pie: yay this song! I love this song some more! again!
Weetabix: wow, didn't Dane Cook just sing this?
Pie: is it just me or is she the first girl who is really good?
Weetabix: I like it though!
Pie: yes, Dane Cook sang it and now Mia Farrow is singing it
Weetabix: no, it's not just you
Pie: but she's good!
Weetabix: she's got a great voice and appropriate lip gloss. I'm not sure about that top though
Pie: I love her hair
Weetabix: it's a little blousy
Pie: I always wanted curls just like that but somehow I do not resent her for that
Weetabix: me too. I think perms are coming back, actually. I'll bet it's natural though. I went to school with a perfect blonde who had naturally corkscrew curls and she'd flat iron them out on special days which I could never understand. I love her
Weetabix: how can they say that the front part of the song wasn't good? she was so much better than the other blondes!
Pie: she was! go Corkscrew Barbie! "washing-up liquid" might be my favorite phrase ever uttered on this show
Weetabix: yes, it was so very British. oh Ryan, trying to make it dirty. Daddy will spank you for that later

Alexandrea Lushington
Pie: speaking of Bo Bice, he sang this. he did not have cool little hair dots. I love that her last name is Lushington
Weetabix: oh, yes, that's the best last name ever
Pie: she's good
Weetabix: I do like this. she's "making this her own" as they say
Pie: cute little retro outfit too
Weetabix: also, suspenders!
Pie: go Lushington! yes, the suspenders are awesome
Weetabix: that would be a good name for a bar
Pie: clap!
Weetabix: "Lushingtons"
Pie: I enjoyed her
Weetabix: I'm drunked! clap clap clap! I enjoyed her too! she blew her doors off of that, apparently
Pie: speaking of doors, remember Michael Johns?
Weetabix: yes. are we having afterglow now?
Pie: I am, anyway
Weetabix: I could go for that again, actually
Pie: we may need to rewind later
Weetabix: maybe they'll bring him out again
Pie: I hope so
Weetabix: indeed
Pie: "and now, in the middle of the top 12 girls...let us bring back the thunder from down under"
Weetabix: heeee!
Pie: he's the thunder in my down under, that's for sure
Weetabix: Can Ian do a convincing Australian accent?
Pie: he says no. he could do a bad fake one. I'm drunk, that might be good enough. "fuck me, Crocodile Dundee!"
Weetabix: "throw another shrimp IN MY PANTS"

Kady Malloy
Weetabix: paused at Ryan Raps, red couch
Pie: I've got Ryan Rape! er, Rape. Raps! jesus!
Weetabix: what channel are YOU WATCHING!?!?
Pie: hahahahaha
Weetabix: stop thinking about the Aussie, mate. another blonde sheila
Pie: how are we supposed to tell this blondie apart from the other two blondies?
Weetabix: we aren't, we only are supposed to notice Curly Barbie with the talent
Pie: okay that is a creepy Britney impression
Weetabix: it is. I find impressions in general to be creepy. sometimes I do them and startle myself
Pie: Groovy Kind of Love?
Weetabix: I enjoyed the resurgence of this song in 1989, by Phil Collins
Pie: are we really singing Groovy Kind of Love?
Weetabix: it reminds me of senior year in high school. it's just a bad version though, it's unfornate
Weetabix: I mean, the 60's were an awesome decade
Pie: "unfornate"? add it to the list! someone needs to post the list in the comments
Weetabix: the notes, they make my head hurt here
Pie: words made up by Weetabixd
Weetabix: go back to doing Britney!
Pie: yeah that was bland
Weetabix: what, is that past tense Weetabix?
Pie: Weetabixed, Weetabi, Weetabamus (I am conjugating)
Weetabix: weetabii
Pie: (a little treat for the Latin majors) she is boring
Weetabix: she should color her hair. something crazy! purple!
Pie: Paula broke out the "you look really pretty"
Pie: kiss of death
Weetabix: yes it really is a kiss of death
Pie: yeah, Corkscrew Barbie can stay--the rest of them have to cut their hair. did Simon just call her "a pencil"? I love that.
Weetabix: but when Simon says it? It means his little red coat is standing at attention
Pie: yeah, "Groovy Kind of Love" is a really serious song. sure, blondie. Groovy Kind of Love, and such as.
Weetabix: I like that they're basically saying "have a personality" and she's like "um, it's hard"
Pie: heh, there are at least three people who should go home on the girls side. the Pencil, the chick with the stupid hair, and... I forget.

Asia'h Epperson
Weetabix: Asia?
Pie: yes! she is singing
Weetabix: her dad died
Pie: she's good! she's got sparkles
Weetabix: she's definitely good!
Pie: good song, too
Weetabix: and again, the Idolettes still have bra issues
Pie: Asia'h. I often regret that there is no apostrophe in my name
Weetabix: put one in there!
Pie: Mo'nique has an apostrophe
Weetabix: put two! Mo'ni'que
Pie: I can one-up her! M;o'nique
Weetabix: you could even shove a third one on the end
Pie: oops, I threw in a semicolon. it is my drunkenness
Weetabix: I like the semi colon. start a trend!
Pie: Mo'ni'qu'e'
Weetabix: the apostrophe is passe! names should have other punctuation options
Weetabix: this is like the sanctity of marriage act! Who says the only name bling is an apostrophe! You get to choose!
Pie: "name bling"?
Weetabix: I am clearly off the deep end
Pie: I love... everything

Ramiele Malubay
Pie: I am at pancake syrup pouring
Weetabix: I love her already
Weetabix: I want to put her in a snowglobe!
Pie: hahahah
Weetabix: she belongs in my pocket!
Pie: "I want to put her in a snowglobe" I think that should be the title of the post
Weetabix: things are starting to break down the longer we drink, I can already tell
Pie: no, that is genius, she's got Christian hair!
Weetabix: this is the reason that Friday night Weetapidoling is golden
Pie: nice song
Weetabix: OMG she totally does, she's Ferocia Coutura!
Pie: Ferocia Coutura!! and we need an awesome Asian girl to erase the memory of Jasmine and her fucking flower
Weetabix: she wasn't Asian, was she?
Pie: she was Hawaiian…
Weetabix: I thought she was Hawaiian
Pie: is that... Polynesian?
Weetabix: is this Dusty Springfield?
Pie: I'm sorry, I'm embarrassing myself
Weetabix: yes, South Pacific?
Pie: Een says she should win! he likes Ferocia Coutura
Weetabix: I agree although I do like Aussie In My Pants
Pie: but Carly did not sing yet! I love Carly! and Aussie in my pants!
Weetabix: I haven't seen the auditions, so I have no preconceived notions
Pie: Randy loved her
Weetabix: I love her too
Pie: front runner! go Ferocia!
Weetabix: she's my favorite girl right now, even with my plus size girl bias
Pie: heh. she loves hair, makeup, and shoes. she's a woman after your own heart
Weetabix: yes, she is! I want to BE her!
Pie: she can be your little pocket pal! your little Tamagotchi!(I will edit that out, as I am sure it sounds racist)
Weetabix: wow! you ARE embarrassing yourself!

Syesha Mercado

Pie: scarf lady
Weetabix: look at those heels!
Pie: holy crizznap
Weetabix: wow she's got pipes
Pie: I remember seeing her audition. Chain of Fools with laryngitis, just amazing
Weetabix: I can't believe that performance in the audition. when I have laryngitis, I can't sing for a month
Pie: she's great
Weetabix: she's doing the tapping that bugs me, but she's very good. I still love Ferocia though
Pie: well there is room for both in the top 12
Pie: woo!
Weetabix: and my pants, are already occupied
Pie: hee
Weetabix: yes, she's amazing
Pie: you can have her in your heart, Michael in your pants, and Ferocia in your snowglobe.
Pie: you just need to "work it out, dawg"
Weetabix: I love it when Paula stands up. it's like she's not
Pie: heh

Carly Smithson
Pie: here is Carly my favorite!
Weetabix: bad eyeshadow in the audition
Pie: she's controversial. she had a record deal at some point, apparently
Weetabix: wait, is this the ringer?
Pie: oh, she's explaining it
Weetabix: where is she originally from?
Pie: she's got a cute little Irish accent
Weetabix: she's got a weird accent
Pie: Irish! not weird
Weetabix: ok! it sounded a little… Canadian or something
Pie: oh, CANADIAN…
Weetabix: it reminded me of MysterE from the Pickup Artist! which, sidebar, I really hope they bring back, because it was total guilty pleasure television for me. Anyway, Carly, she's also very good
Pie: I love her
Weetabix: and has better eyeshadow now
Pie: I am Irish
Weetabix: I also have a bias for pale brunette girls with blue eyes
Pie: I feel an affinity for her, me too, obvs.
Weetabix: I am Irish too and French
Pie: we are all Irish, pale, brunettes with blue eyes, and therefore awesome! go Carly!
Weetabix: I hope the readers tell us about their ethnicity and we can share a special moment. oh yeah, go Carly!
Pie: she has to hold the microphone across the room
Weetabix: actually, still love Ferocia and Syesha more, sorry
Pie: yeah that was not the greatest song choice
Weetabix: I just didn't like the song
Pie: it just means she has room to grow
Weetabix: it does, apparently she's been sick. oh, totally has the British smile
Pie: they love her. Paula called her a lucky coin, I think she wanted to call her a lucky charm! Green stars and blue clovers!
Weetabix: exactly, Randall!
Pie: who is Randall?
Weetabix: Randy's full name is, I have decided, Randall
Pie: gotcha

Weetabix: ok, recap
Pie: whew! we made it to the end!
Weetabix: Blonde, boring, Joanne... want to love her more than I do. Another Blonde... boring
Pie: Ian is confused by the blondes
Weetabix: most men are. Nurse Rached... love her! she sounds like the soundtrack for a Jack Daniels commercial
Pie: hahaha
Weetabix: Amy... ugh
Pie: Corkscrew... she can stay
Weetabix: but lose the blousey blouseness
Pie: Lushington, enjoy her
Weetabix: Suspenders good! blonde... super boring
Pie: I just told Ian there were like five blondes. he said "I thought there was one, and she just sang a lot"
Weetabix: HA!
Pie: that last one was the most forgettable
Weetabix: Asia'h: awes'ome!
Pie: go Ferocia!
Weetabix: Ferocia: GET IN MY POCKET! Syesha: rocks out and will go very far
Pie: Absolutely, and Carly has room to keep gettng better
Weetabix: and Carly: definitely Top 10 material
Pie: so wait, should we look up who got kicked off?
Weetabix: who do we think is going? Any of the blondes would be my vote. Not Corkscrew.
Pie: Amy and the last blonde… Kady
Weetabix: Oh, that's right, Amy was the WORST
Pie: boy votes, skunk hair and... some guy I hated
Pie: it's been too long of a night, I don't remember
Pie: Doug Henning
Weetabix: this has been one crazy marathon
Weetabix:I'm drunk
Pie: the vest guy is the one who should go
Weetabix: oh right, he was awful too, I want to punch him. or punch someone
Pie: okay who do you think should go?
Weetabix: guy girl this season
Pie: I will go look it up
Weetabix: a blonde plus amy. Guys: Garrett Leif and one of the guys I forgot. actually, g to the a to the y was good but I don't like his attitude.
Pie: someone named Colton got laminated
Weetabix: RUPERT!
Pie: that was Rupert? oh no! so did Joanne
Pie: goodbye, Rupert!
Weetabix: What have you done, America!
Pie: and Garrett, who was that?
Weetabix: Doug Henning
Pie: and thank fucking god, Amy. well, Doug Henning and Amy were my two least favorites
Weetabix: there is no way that Joanne should have gone before the boring blondes!
Pie: but yes, Joanne should have stayed
Weetabix: already, it begins. my loathing for the show, it begins now
Pie: still, the two I hated wen thome, also, I was spoiled for Joanne. Someone posted it in the BFD comments so I was prepared, anyway, phew!
Weetabix: yes, phew!
Pie: what time is it over there? is it like Tuesday?
Weetabix: it's almost 1
Pie: should we say Weetapidol out?
Weetabix: yes, Weetapidol out! 4 down, 20 to go! ok, I'm going to stumble into the bedroom
Pie: okay, g'day, mate!

Weetapidol out.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Mild delay

Ok, there was a technical snafu on my end of the country, so Pie and I will be 'Pidoling tonight. Keep your fingers crossed that I can find a copy of last night's show online somewhere. Sadly, iTunes won't start selling copies of the show until we get to the Top 12. Stupid iTunes.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Weetapidol III: The Return of Dunkleman

Hey there, Pie and I have agreed to pretend American Idol doesn't exist until the painful tryouts were over because last year's liveblogging was excruitating. However, now that we're in the talent portion of our media spectacle, we're ready to pour the wine and make very innappropriate comments, starting at the Top 24, which is next week! Synchronize your watches and start scouting out the talent for our annual Weetapidol pool!